MORE Bikini madness.

Facts and Floating Heads
**

Barbara saw her father with the army duffel bag as he crossed the
street, and she accelerated her van. Making a sharp turn, it
screeched as it slid, blocking Jim Gordon's access to his own
car. "DADDY" she screamed out her rolled down window. "DADDY! What do
you THINK you're doing?"

"Back the car up, Barbara," Jim said sternly.

Barbara reached out of the car and grabbed her father's arm, so he
wouldn't be tempted to escape. "Daddy, I'm not going to let you just…
just SHOOT him. And I don't think anyone else is either. Look, we
found the little culprit who's responsible for our voyeurism and he's
going to be dead in about…" she looked at her watch. "Seven minutes.
I'm sorry you had to hear that, but you can't kill Nightwing."

"I can kill anyone I please," Jim said stoically, in imitation of the
Bat.

"Ok, if you're going to kill someone, kill me. I mean, it takes two
to do the horizontal tango--"

"UGG!" Jim hollered.

"Dad, I'm a big girl. We had this discussion before." Like when she
was in college and didn't come home one night on winter break. Her
father had been getting ready to go out and light up the bat signal
and get Batman to look for her, all because she'd spent the night in
the back of a frat boy's car, doing whatever it was that people did
there.

"We didn't talk about you and—with HIM."

"God, you'd think I screwed Batman or something," Barbara said with
disgust. "THEN you'd have to be worried. And can we NOT have this
discussion on the street?"

"I don't want to be having this discussion at ALL."

"GOOD. Lets just pretend like it never happened. I know I wish /I/
did. You think I WANT the whole world to have heard that? There're
three talks shows this morning pondering who the `mystery' lady was,
and contrary to what Dinah thinks, Superman can only destroy so much
evidence." They really SHOULD have let the Bat handle it. HE knew how
to get a job done.

"And just what did you think you were--"

"DAD," Barbara reminded her father forcefully. "I'm an ADULT."

"You and--"

"ADULT."

Jim relaxed a little, some of the fight taken out of him. "Well,
couldn't you have picked someone NORMAL?"

Barbara let go of her father's sleeve and slumped a little in
relief. "Ok. SO I didn't pick someone normal." She didn't know if her
father was referring to Dick's career path, or his sexual
tastes. "But at least I'm not a super-villian," she finished
hopefully.

"Yeah," her father said with a sigh. "At least you're not doing
anything illegal."

Barbara looked away. Unless you counted being wanted by the FBI, of
course.

"BARBARA!"

"WHAT?"

"I don't want to know," Jim grumbled. "I don't. I'm happier not
knowing." His eyes darted back and forth. "You're the floating head,
aren't you?" he whispered. Could it get any worse?

"Well," Barbara said, almost reading his thoughts. "At least I'm not
screwing Batman."

THE END