Hi again! thanks for all the reviews I've been getting! :D it really means allot! SO KEEP REVIEWING! And sorry for not updating in awhile. I had to go to Arizona then to Kentucky for my aunts funeral and as soon as I got back, I had midterms then as soon as I finished all my tests and projects, I got the flew. But I promise a long(ish) chapter to make up for everything.

Also, I forgot to go over my last chapter, so sorry if theirs allot of spelling errors… But before you read this chapter, I want to thank Peeta4lLife245 for reviewing and giving me ideas for this chapter.

And please tell me what you thought about this chapter and send me your ideas! As I said before, they mean allot! Also, please don't hate me if my grammar and spelling is bad!

Disclaimer: I don't own the hunger games! Only Suzanne Collins does 'cause she's awesome. :)

Peeta's POV

Before I open my eyes, I can feel the warm sunlight on my face. It feels so nice, but in the air, I can feel that something is amiss. After a minuet, I open my eyes and inspect the room. But I have a hard time doing so, because there is a nagging feeling in the back of my head. Something that's telling me something's very wrong.

But then I remember seeing Katniss being picked up by another hovercraft. I still don't know if she was picked up by the same people who picked me, Finnick, and Beete or by the capitol.

I decide to dismiss it and find out where I am and what's going on.

I remember getting picked up by a hovercraft – which could have easily been from the capitol. But I doubt it. Finnick was conscious and seemed in control of things. In fact, I remember seeing him relax when the hovercraft picked us up. So I know that I'm most likely safe – although I have no idea why we've been rescued, or who rescued us. All I know is that Finnick trusted whoever they were. But then again – is Finnick trust worthy? He did try to kill me and Beete by cutting out veins and almost making us bleed to death. I sigh and decide that I can't change anything.

Slowly, I sit up and instantly see Beete in the hospital bed across the room. Connected to his arm are multiple tubes – some with liquid coming in or out. He looks much better then he was before, but is still unconscious.

Theirs no restraints on my arm or anything that says it's wrong to get up, so I swing my feet over the edge of the bed and sit up.

Looking down, I see im in nothing but a nightgown.

I inspect the room again to look for the door and see it just across the room. I stand up try to walk normally, but the cold floor is making my feet jump with every step.

The feeling that something is wrong – that Katniss is not safe – comes back to me as my hand starts to turn the doorknob.

For a second, I almost want to go back – knowing that if I open the door, someone will tell me were Katniss is – and I'm not so sure I want to hear the truth. But I decide to just stare at the doorknob – thinking through every thing I could have – should have – done to save her.

She was rescued and is safe I tell myself theirs no way the capitol could have gotten her.

I start to chew vigorously on my bottom lip. I'm not certain that Katniss is captured, but something is telling me that she's either dead or worse…

Finally, I can't take it anymore. I have to know were she is – if she is still alive.

The door swings open and reveals a white hall going two directions.

I groan annoyed, and try to take a guess.

Just as I'm about to go to the left, I hear a voice coming from the right.

"No, I'm sorry." a strangely familiar voice says – a voice that can only belong to Plarch Havensbee – this years Head Game Maker. "There's no way I can get you to Four. But I've been given special orders for her retrieval if possible. It's the best I can do, Finnick."

Plarch Havensbee? Maybe I was captured by the capitol. Which asks the question why they want me alive. Are they waiting to kill us their own way – maybe as an act of vengeance? I don't know what we've done wrong that would cause them to be so angry – except for the berry thing last year. But wouldn't it be better to have us die in the games? Were we would be sure to be publicly humiliated and to die a less-then-pretty death? The only thing that frustrates me even more is that Finnick is in on all this. Now I feel almost certain that im in a bad situation when I hear another voice speak up.

"Don't be stupid. That's the worst thing you could do. Get her killed for sure. As long as your alive, they'll keep her alive or bait." Says Haymitch.

Haymitch! I can't help but feel a little relaxed because I know that Haymitch would not want me killed.

Without thinking, I open the door and stumble inside.

Inside, I see Haymitch, Plarch, and a very worn out Finnick sitting around a table that has a meal that no one has even touched.

Plarch looks at me for a second – he clearly did not expect me to come in – while Finnick just looks at the meal in the middle of the table as if he were getting ready to eat, but the look in his eyes says otherwise. Lastly, I see Haymitch completely avoiding my eye. I remember doing the same to Katniss in the first arena when we caught her in the tree. I felt guilty – even though I was helping her by joining their alliance – and did my best to avoid her gaze. I feel my stomach churn and I know that the feeling I had about Katniss being in trouble is no longer just a feeling. I know that she's either in danger or dead – I don't know which is worse.

Haymitch finally looks at me and waves his hand over, signaling me to sit.

slowly, I come to sit in an empty spot on the couch.

I look directly at Haymitch as I say in the clearest voice I can muster.

Haymitch opens his mouth to talk, but my patience is running out.

"Were is she?"

"Hold on, boy! I'm getting there!" Haymitch practically yells, clearly trying to defend himself. "and a hello would be nice" he mumbles quietly, clearly being sarcastic.

And that's when I loose it.

I knock him to the ground and pin him down (that rhymed :)).

My fist meets his face as I start yelling who knows what. Not even I'm sure what I'm yelling at Haymitch.


With that I punch him in the face and see his nose start to bleed.

I can feel my eyes start to water as I let what Haymitch has just said run through my mind. "even sunshine wasbetter then you" was…

I pause for a moment and Haymitch seizes that moment to push me of him.

We scream horrible, horrible things at each other while Finnick and Plarch try to calm us down, but we both just ignore them. After what feels like fore ever of this, Haymitch finally reaches his boiling point.

"You want to know were she is boy? She's either dead or in the bloody capitol! Probably being tortured as we speak!" he yells.

The whole room falls quiet and I can see that even Haymitch knows he's gone to far.

I feel like I have just been hit with a bolder as my hands form into fists. All feeling has gone and been replaced by a numbing pain. Time feels like it has just stopped. I feel like I'm being suffocated and breathing becomes almost impossible. All this happens as one thought runs through my head. The girl of my dreams – my love – is being tortured – all while I could have just gone with my gut and saved her. Ican feel all three of them looking at me, waiting for my reaction, but I just stare at the blank wall.

I take a deep breath and look towards the floor, slowly closing my eyes as water begins to pool in them. Blood fills my mouth as I feel my cheeks begin to wetten and I become conscious that I have been gnawing on my lower lip.

We all stay silent and at one point I think I hear Finnick sob – something about Anny I think.

"Why?" I barely whisper to no one in particular. I don't expect anyone to hear me.

"Because you two are the ones who sparked the fire." Plarch answers, apparently he heard me.

What? When did we spark a fire and what's that fire? I look up at him, confused.

Plarch just smiles. "She never told you?"

Is he referring to Katniss? If so, what did she tell me?

He must see the puzzled look in my face, because he just laughs a little and explains further on.

He tells me that when Katniss and I threatened to eat the berries in our first game, it sparked a rebellion – I remember Katniss saying something about district 8. He tells me that since Katniss is the one who came up with the idea to eat the berries, she is the one that the districts followed – leading to Snow threatening her before out victory tour. He tells me that when the quarter quell was announced, the rebels had a plan to save us and bring us to district 13 – I remember Katniss obsessing over district 13 when she hurt her ankle – and start the war. He also says that victors from districts 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 and Haymitch had some knowledge of this – which explains what Finnick saved my life and Mags' sacrifice and the morphine voluntarily saving my life. And lastly, he tells me that while district 13's rescue from the arena was taking place, the capitol came in and get what they could. They told me that the capitol managed to get Joanna, Enobaria, and Katniss, and that they were lucky they got me, Finnick, and Beete.

I think back to after our first games, and now that I think of it, I remember Katniss hinting and even talking about a rebellion. At the time, I thought she was insane or something and just pretended to listen to her at the time obscure and just plain stupid ideas.

A wave of guilt hits me and I know that I should have listened to her. I should have cherished her presence instead of pretending to care. It's like I forgot all that I went through to keep her alive just to push her off to the side. I now know that I was the one who was wrong and she was the one who was right.

I sigh, my eyes looking at the floor. What have I done? I ask myself. But then a realization hits me and I remember Plarch saying that Haymitch knew about the rescue. He knew about the rescue, but never told us.

And in that moment, all I know is that he, of all people, lied to us – and it may cost her life. That she trusted him with her life and he practically threw it into the flames.

I feel hatred toward Haymitch. I don't think I've been this mad in my life – not even at my mother. I trusted him and now I may never see her again. I may never hold her close and tell her I love her ever again. But I know I should not be mad at only Haymitch. I should also be mad at myself. I'm the one who thought it wasn't necessary to leave the group during the games. I'm the one who should have stayed with her the night of the rescue. I should have run to her when she called out my name. But instead, here I am, sitting here safe and sound as we fly back to district 13 while she's I the capitol, paying the price for my actions.

Plarch continues explaining things about the rebellion but I tune everything out. When he finally sees that I'm no longer paying any attention, he asks some nurses to take to my bed.

After the walk through the halls, I find myself at a different room then before.

I turn to question the nurse, but before I can say anything, she answers me.

"They had you relocated to your own private hospital room."

I nod my head and walk inside.

She has me sit on the bed while she does some tests on me.

"Your looking much better then you were when you got here." She says with a soft smile.

Once again, I just nod my head in reply as she turns to walk out – leaving me here alone.

After about five minuets, I feel my bottom lip become heavy and my eyes start to water. The room feels colder-though I like it, it lets me know I'm alive. I feel my body shake as a tear falls from my eyes – soon to be followed by others. I don't try to stop it. The numbing pain shoots through my body and I fall on the ground. I feel the tears come down my face rapidly and can't even see through my eyes anymore. Why are you gone? I demand to Katniss – although she can't hear me. WHY? I yell in my mind. I close my eyes and just yell as loud as I can. I don't care who hears me and I don't care what anyone thinks. All that I care about is Katniss. Katniss, the girl of my dreams. My love. My life.

I do this for an hour before I decide I should get back in the bed.

Slowly, I pull myself up and sit on the edge of the bed. I put my head in my hands and begin to cry. This time, I remain silent- except for the occasional gasps I let out.

I go on and off between yelling and silent tears. At one point, the nurse comes in and forces me to lie down. I zone out while she does this and laying down makes my zone out even more.

People are constantly coming in, trying to explain what's going on, but I know I don't want to hear what their saying. Their just going to talk about what's going on – which are either thing's I don't want to hear or don't have the courage to hear.

The only person that I at least try to listen to is Finnick.

"I'm truly sorry, Peeta. I did all I could to save you both. I just didn't expect you to run away after I cut you." Finnick says in a worn out voice.

I turn my face away so I can't see him. I'm still a little mad about what happened in the arena

I can feel him examining me.

We both stay like that for accouple of minuets when Finnick finally speaks up.

"You know, as much as you may not believe it, I know what you're going through – with loosing Katniss to the capitol. I found out that they got my Anny there, too."

He's silent for a second as he recomposes himself. I hear him take a deep breath before he speaks again.

"What I'm trying to say is that, well, I'm sorry for never telling you. In all honesty, I thought the whole "star crossed lovers thing" was just a lie – a trick – to get sponsors. But as I have learned, there's always a grain of truth that the lie has to sprout from. And now I know that you do love her. And that she loves you back. I should have told you." He says in a voice he's trying hard to keep steady.

For a second, I'm stunned. And she loves you back. I look back at him for a second. Finally, for the first time since I found out about Katniss, I speak up.

"What do you mean 'she love me'?"

Finnick just looks at me like the answers the most obvious thing in the world.

"Her reaction when you ran into the force-field says it all" he says simply.

"She doesn't love me; she loves her best friend, Gale." I say back.

Finnick looks deep in thought. I wait for him to reply, but he never does – that is, right until I give up on waiting.

"It's possible to love more then one person, you know." Finnick replies quietly.

I'm about to reply, saying that it's not possible – I've seen the way they look at each other, how she stayed with him all night the day Gale got whipped – their hands linked together, lips just inches apart – but I know that it's useless.

I decide that it's time to go to sleep – or at least pretend I'm asleep. I know I don't know weather or not I want to fall asleep – I know that it could be some small form of escape, but I also know that tonight, my 'dreams' will either be pleasant or more horrible the regular.

Unfortunately, it's the ladder.

So what did ya think? I know this is not one of my better chapters, but I wrote this in a rush and I apologize for the grammar mistakes I probably made in this chapter :/ but please review and tell what hat you did and didn't like about it. It only takes about 20 seconds. Also, I'm more then happy to hear you ideas.