So, I didn't get the number of reviews I wanted (thanks allot ;)), but I got bored, so I decided to update, because im nice.
Also, PLEASE remember to review or share your ideas for this story. It always makes me happy :D but just tell me weather or not you like how the stories going!
Also, if I can get 17 reviews by next week, I'll update soon! This time, I'm not kidding.
Disclaimer: although I think we all know this; I do not own the Hunger Games!
Without further to do, here's chapter 5!
My name is Peeta Melark I am 17 years old. I am from district 12. I was in the Hunger Games – twice. I escaped. Katniss is in the capitol. She is believed to be dead. she probably is dead. It would be best is she was dead…
I've been repeating this over and over in my head. It's the only thing keeping me sane. I take a deep breath as I open my eyes to look at the clock. 5:30. I don't have to get ready till seven, so I could just sleep in, but I know that sleep will only bring dreams of… her.
I close my eyes as I picture her gray orbs looking at me and the way her hair looks when it's down. How sweet her voice is when she sings. How beautiful she looks when she smiles. How melodic her laugh is…
My mind goes back in time to the last time we were on the roof. Could that have only been a month ago?
I hear Finnick groan in the hospital bed next to me, and guess he is either having a bad dream or just woke up.
I don't get why were still in the hospital and not given rooms. But then I take a look at myself, and can't help but feel stupid. You could never recognize me as the cheery boy who was always smiling.
A small sigh escapes my lips as I start thinking about everything that has happened. Me and Haymitch have kept a distance ever since the "hover-craft incident," as Finnick calls it. Thankfully, Finnick and I are on good terms again. I the beginning, I blamed him, Haymitch, and thirteen for what happened to Katniss. But now I know that it was my fault. I should have kept an eye out for Katniss. I know now I should have listened to her when she told me that she wanted to abandon the alliance.
But I didn't. And now, I'm left to pay the consequences.
I can't help but wonder what my father would tell me, what my older brother, Ryle, would tell me. How my oldest brother, Titan, would probably cry with me. How my mother would probably call me foolish.
I laugh a little at how my family would react.
My family. I feel a lump in my throat and choke back tears.
They perished in the bombing. My eyes shut, and I remember my family.
My oldest brother and his wife – Emily – were expecting. Now ill never get to see my niece or nephew. Ryle was ready to propose to his girlfriend, Caden (Kay den). I remember how excited he was. He told me he already planed out his wedding, talking about how much he would like it if I decorated his wedding cake. My father was finally happy, he finally gave my mother a piece of his mind, and after that, she started respecting him, not snickering at every thing he did like she did before. My mother was also happy and content. She was telling us things like "I love you" and would smile more. For the first time, my family was happy. For the first time my life felt complete. I had Katniss – and even if she didn't love me like I did her, I knew that she cared for me. Snows threats had lessened and even Katniss was happier. Haymitch was drinking less. Even my nightmares were less intense. For the first time, I felt like I was having a breath of fresh air. I felt complete. Well, as complete as you can feel after entering the hunger games and knowing the girl you love is head over heels in love with another man.
Then they announced the Quarter Quell. It was like a bunch of bricks just falling on my chest. For awhile, I couldn't breath. I felt like I was being suffocated.
I turned into a career. Doing all in my power to make sure Katniss would be the victor. I promised myself that Katniss would win. That I would be there to protect her and keep her safe at all costs. But I failed. And now, here I am, wishing I could have a second chance.
I hate this feeling. Knowing your life was only going up, then having everything that's precious to you just taken in a mere second – knowing it's all your fault. Sometimes I can feel myself slipping away, slowly going into my own world – and wanting to never come out. At this moment, I can literally see Katniss' face, looking at me in disapproval. I give out a small smile as my eyes start watering.
By the time I get up, it's 6:45. Have I really been thinking for that long?
With a groan, I push myself into a sitting position. Finnick is still mumbling in his sleep. Something about Annie.
I get dressed into the official District 13 uniform and press my arm to the wall to get my schedule for today.
Just as I'm about to leave, I hear Finnick's heart monitor going faster and his hand starts to twitch uncontrollably, as if he was trying to get something.
Feeling guilty, I start shaking his shoulder. No good. It just makes him start kicking. Just like Katniss… immediately, I snap out of my thoughts and focus on the task at hand.
After a few trial and errors' with trying to shake Finnick awake, I just grab a water bottle laying next to his bed and pour about half of the bottle on his face.
He bolts up – almost falling off his bed in the process – and screams Annie's name before coming back to reality.
For a moment, the two of us are still. Finnick stares off into the distance with a pained expression on his face while I just start fiddling with my hands. I do an awkward cough, hoping it will bring Finnick back to reality.
Fortunately it woks. Finnick snaps back to reality and starts getting ready. I decide to wait – having nothing better to do.
We start walking to breakfast and get in line. Neither of us talks – for understandable reasons.
After I get breakfast – consisting of oatmeal and mashed barriers – I go and sit down at an empty table. Moments later, Delly comes up and takes her seat across me.
"Good morning!" she chirps. I inwardly wonder how someone can be so happy with everything that has happened. Maybe that's what I looked like to Katniss.
I give a small smile in return, which she gladly accepts.
Delly starts eating her food while I just spin my spoon in circles, occasionally taking little spoonfuls of the oatmeal.
When I look up, I see Delly looking at me – concern written all over her usually happy face.
"What?" I blurt out.
Delly continues staring for a moment until she finally speaks.
"Why haven't you been sleeping or eating lately?"
My head swings up, shocked. I don't even deny. "How did you know?"
Delly just rolls her eyes. "Peeta, I sit with you every meal, and you always do the same thing; play with your food. And as for the sleep part? Well, that was just as easy. You've been having bags under your eyes since we got here."
"Oh." I say, looking down because I feel stupid for the second time this morning.
After a silence, Delly breaks the silence.
"I'm your best friend, Peeta. You can tell me what's wrong." She nearly begs.
"Thanks." I mumble, not entirely sure she can hear me.
We fall into silence again. And again, it's Delly who breaks the silence.
"Peeta! Just tell me what's wrong!" she yells, standing from her seat, clearly irritated with me.
A few people turn and look at her like she's crazy – and even I'm starting to think that – but she doesn't seem to notice. I look down, but still feel her eyes boring into me.
She goes around and sits down next to me.
Speaking in a softer voice, she talks again.
"Peeta, I'm really worried. You haven't been yourself since we arrived in district 13. I just want to help you. And believe me, it help to talk. I just want to know what wrong."
I look up and see her eyes tearing up. "Please." She said in a weak voice, barely audible.
Taking a deep breath, I just look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth in as strong and steady a voice I can muster – but it still comes out hollow. "It's just…" I trail off for a second, trying to get my thoughts together,
"… Everything." I blurt out.
Delly looks deep in thought. Then her eyes go wide in realization.
After a moment, she looks at me, and opens her mouth, just to shut it a second later. I look at her expectantly, and after a moment of hesitation, Delly finally speaks in a weak voice.
"Katniss died, didn't she."
I feel my heart sink. Like she just stabbed me in the heart. It must register on my face because Delly looks guilty. Her eyes water up even more then they did before. "Peeta?" she ask in a weak voice.
"I don't know, but it would be best if she did…" I choke out. Delly gives me a confused expression, but I just decide to ignore it and walk off.
"See you at lunch." I say.
I walk off, ignoring Delly's calls for me to come back.
While walking out, I see Gale staring at me with pure hatred. Nervously, I bite the bottom of my lip and walk away. But the message that Gale was trying to send could not have been clearer. He clearly blames me for what happened to Katniss. And to be honest, I don't blame him.
My head looks down at the ground. Instead of going to my assigned duties, I walk back to my hospital bed.
I don't car what they are going to be telling me later. Right now, I just can't take this anymore. To be honest, im not even sure why I keep fighting to stay sane. I mean I lost every thing. So what difference would it make if I loose my mind? Maybe it's the small possibility that Katniss is still alive. That I might be able to see her again.
Stop kidding yourself, Melark. She's never coming back. I blink away tears, but some still manage to fall.
I fall on my bed with a humph and just stay there, face snuck in my pillow.
My eyes slowly start closing, but as soon as they do, images of the last time I saw Katniss cloud my vision, and my eyes open wide.
So I just sit there, wondering what I did to deserve this.
Feeling the need to punch something, I jump up, grab a vase, and smash it to the floor with a loud shatter. Im not worried about anyone seeing this, because the only people in the victor unit are me, Finnick, and Beete – who are both out – and the occasional nurse.
Still feeling the need to punch something, I decide to beat up my pillow.
After throwing, punching, kicking and eventually ripping my pillow, I have gotten rid of my anger and am left with the all too familiar feeling of emptiness. So I just sit on the bed for a while, just staring at the wall.
The door creaks open and I see a nurse walk in with a pillow. She has long, brown hair with light streaks of blonde in them. Her skin color is light, but still darker then mine and her eyes are a piercing blue that makes me feel intimidated, but at the same time, relaxed.
"Sage" she says as she reaches her hand out.
"Peeta," I mumble shaking her outstretched hand.
She rolls her eyes. "I know who you are."
"Oh." I respond, letting my eyes drift back to the wall in front of me.
"So… can I ask why you're here?" I question.
"I should be asking the same." she says matter-of-factly.
"So are you going to answer my question or not?"
"Pushy, aren't we? Well, anyway, I saw a young girl – about your age – franticly looking for a nurse or something."
"Yeah, something like that. Well, anyways, she was really worried about you." Her voice softens and I can hear actual concern this time she speaks. "She kept saying that you were hiding something. That you weren't eating or sleeping. She made me promise her that I would come and help you."
I look at her shocked. To be honest, she reminds me of Joanna, so I am surprised that she actually kept her promise to Delly.
As if reading my mind, she speaks up again. "Normally, I would just send another nurse to go deal with patients, but she was crying, and I also can't help but feel like… like I owe you. Without you and Katniss Everdeen, we would never be here – finally giving the Capitol what they deserve." She says the last line with a far away, dreamy look in her eyes, the edges of her mouth slightly twitching up.
After a second, she snaps back to reality. "So let's get started."
I look at her confused by what we are starting – other then a rebellion.
"Why are you not eating?" Sage asks with a voice that might make others feel intimidated – but I grew up with a scary mother for most of my life, and I have been hanging out with Katniss and Haymitch for some time now, so she does not seem to intimidating – which I can tell is making her slightly annoyed.
I just tell her "because I've lost my appetite," which is true, but not wholly the reason why I don't like to eat as much.
Although I do think I was convincing, I can tell Sage doesn't believe me, but luckily, she doesn't push it further.
After that, we just talk. I learn she was from District 8 and has two younger brothers who are currently living in district 13. It feels strange to have a real conversation. I have hardly been talking the whole time I've been in district 13.
After an hour, she finally leaves, leaving me feeling lonelier then ever. I open my drawer, and pull out Katniss' Mocking Jay pin. It was given to me by Finnick – who had found it when he was looking for Katniss on the beach.
I clutch it tightly in my hand, wishing I could somehow bring her back. And I stay like that, just hopelessly dreaming.
Aww… poor Peeta :( so what do you think of this chapter? I'll admit, this is probably one of the worst chapters so far, but I stayed up till 2 in the morning writing this, so please review and I will be happy.
Also, the more reviews I get, the quicker I'll update! It only take 15 seconds, and you don't even have to be a member! Just saying… so as I was saying before, lets try to get to around 17 (or more ;)) reviews and ill update by Tuesday!
And please, send me your ideas for the story. It will make me happy and I will give you free ice cream that may or may not be imaginary.