Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless, or Alicia Keyes's song "Doesn't mean anything"




Chap 1: "You're gone"




One cold colorless January night thirteen year old Aoyagi Ritsuka lay on his bed staring at the ceiling. He could never dismiss thoughts of the man who spoke poetic words of love and death.

Every night he remembered the sound of Soubi coming through his always unlocked window. Now he kept it open even throughout winter, hoping.

Back then he saw Soubi every day, and when he demanded that the man leave due to lies and unanswered questions, still wished for him to stay.

Then one day they went to a museum and enjoyed hours together, just the two of them at Soubi's request. It was very much fun, Soubi shared all that he knew about the paintings and artists, it was like their own private tour. Soubi bought him a calendar from the souvenir shop, and afterward they took pictures outside the building.

*All at once I had it all, but it doesn't mean anything now that you're gone…

The next day was filled with a crackling lightning storm, and the worst words he could ever hear.


"What do you mean you're leaving?" he asked the fighter, who did not respond. Frantically he persisted, "Where are you going? And why?"

Soubi slowly looked upward "Seimei."

"What are you saying?" he questioned, grabbing the man's arm.

Turning away Soubi stated "He ordered it."

Anxiously, water coming to his eyes, he probed "What- when? Is he alive? Look at me Soubi please!"

"I cannot answer your questions Ritsuka and I cannot stay. Seimei's orders are absolute." With that the fighter walked down the street, not looking back.

Frozen in place with tears flowing down his cheeks, he called out "Soubi! Soubi!"

End flashback

The memory bore the same pain each time it came to mind. The final words he heard Soubi speak were "Seimei's orders are absolute".

Damn it all! Seimei "returned" only to tear Soubi away from him. He knew his brother would chain Soubi down again, returning him to the shell Kio explained he used to be.

It was unbearable.

Soubi did so much for him during the short time he was part of his life, helping to realize he wasa real person, and someone who mattered.

*Now I see myself through different eyes, it's no surprise…

He found something in his life with Soubi, he found meaning and true happiness.

*But it's over…

It just didn't seem fair.

Throughout the course of twenty months, six hundred seventy days, and every minute between, he waited for Soubi to return. Day and night he looked for that familiar tall form to be just around the corner, or that rhythmic voice to fill his ears with those three words.

He felt what Soubi said was truth. They had a connection as fighter and sacrifice, and he never stopped believing it went further. That was the reason it hurt so much for the days to pass dragging him deeper into loneliness and despair.

His friends, yes they remained, but they did not have the same connection, and it never could be. Soubi knew his inner workings better than anyone, better than himself it seemed. It was as if they knew each other forever.

*But it doesn't mean anything now that you're gone…



End of chap 1



Hope you liked it, please review…

A/N: I know this slightly resembles one of my other fics "You'll come crawling back", but I wrote this first and forgot about it XD