Disclaimer: I don't own Loveless, or Alicia Keyes's song "Doesn't mean anything"
Chap 2: "All I want"
"Tell me, what's on your mind Ritsuka?" Katsuko-sensei asked, moving brown hair behind her ear.
"Someone I don't want to think about" he replied looking at the window.
"Ah your brother's friend, Agatsuma-san."
The collection of words caused him to cringe.
"Your brother's friend, Agatsuma-san…"
He was never "Agatsuma-san" to Ritsuka, he only ever knew the man by his first name. The concept of referring to him as Agatsuma-san made him feel uneasy, as if it created a rift between Soubi and him. Then, there already was a rift between them, an ever-present one from the start of their relationship, one named Seimei.
"You've had him on your mind very much since he went away I gather."
"Of course", he responded without a thought. She looked at him in surprise, "Why is that? He was that special to you?"
I wish she would stop asking questions like this…
She had it exactly right; Soubi was extremely special to him. He remained the most important person.
*It's you that I want…
"Ritsuka maybe we should end the session", his therapist suggested, holding out a white tissue.
He did not notice the tears until then and with a nod accepted it.
Exiting the building Ritsuka wished he had an item, aside from photos, to remember the man by. It was a ridiculous notion though.
*Material things- they don't mean anything…
Smiling for a moment in spite of himself he thought, if I could save a kiss…
Strangers passing on the sidewalk looked at him then quickly turned away when they saw tears cascading down his pale face. He ignored the bite of cold droplets mingling with the chill of winter. After a few blocks emotions consumed him and he collapsed to the ground. Weakly hands and knees held up his shaking body as sobs broke through resistance.
*It doesn't mean anything since you're gone…
Breath hitched in his throat when a ringing came to his ears. He only heard the sound once before, but recognized it immediately.
Is it possible?...
Lifting his head he peered beyond the crowd people walking and rushing past, intently staring at a single form in the distance ahead.
When the figure was only twenty feet away he began to believe it truly was the person he thought. As the tall man neared, it became difficult for Ritsuka to breathe.
Long legs walked slowly in his direction and in moments appeared a few inches before him.
He could not look up.
If I do he'll disappear…
Breaths now came to his lungs, but rapidly, burning with the rush of air.
When a familiar hand was extended to him he closed his eyes. Upon reopening them it was still there.
Lips quivering, eyes misting, hand shaking, he reached to grab hold. Standing with help, his gaze rose slowly over black pants and a dark blue shirt. As his eyes passed over a covered neck, then chin, lips, and higher he began to shake his head.
"No no no… it can't be you. I'm dreaming, this is another nightmare and soon you'll walk away" he cried.
The familiar velvet voice then entered his ears "Ritsuka".
Violet eyes rose further to meet sapphire ones and he couldn't take it.
"No!" he shouted, startling the people passing. Sobbing he fell forward and Soubi pressed the boy's dampened face to his chest.
"It's not true, you're not real..." he whimpered.
Holding the quivering form in his arms, the fighter softly spoke "My name is Soubi, the title of a foolish man. I prefer to be called Loveless, if you'll have me".
Small arms wrapped around the larger form, clutching cloth so tightly they pinched skin. Soubi did not budge.
It's you that I want…
"Stay with me Soubi, stay with me" he whispered through tears.
Sacrifice and fighter remained in that spot beyond time, embracing in their reunion.
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