Rated T for language and lime. Shi shi shi (^_^)... I kinda like the sound of that...
Sugoi – cool, katana – sword, sake – liquor.
"SUGOI!" Monkey D. Luffy's enraptured cry could be heard by everyone, from every corner of the Thousand Sunny. All the other crew members cringed at noise their captain was makng. Tony Tony Chopper, the ship's doctor, was the first to respond. The miniature reindeer scuttled from the men's quarters to the source of the noise – the kitchen.
"What? What's cool, Luffy? Tell me!" his high pitched shriek joined with the excited laughter of the ship's captain.
From her place on the deck, Nico Robin hid her smile behind her book and switched off the large light Franky had made for her. It was all going according to plan.
"It's a mountain!" Luffy exclaimed. "A mountain of meat!" The rubber boy was dancing around the mountain of meat that was positioned on the table of the Thousand Sunny.
"Sugoi," Chopper breathed, screeching to a halt as he entered the kitchen, his eyes widening in amazement. "It's HUGE!"
"I know, I know!" Luffy continued. Chopper leapt into the air and flung his arms around Luffy's neck.
"Guys! Guys!" he squealed with excitedly! "You have to come and see!" The next person to enter the kitchen was Usopp – the legendary liar.
"EEHH!" he yelled in fake surprise, not that Chopper and Luffy would realize that he was faking. Their brains were simply not created that way. The rest of the crew tumbled into the kitchen... aside from Nico Robin – she was her usual serene self.
"Where did this come from, Luffy?" Nami asked, a large smile splitting her face as she elbowed Zoro out of the way. The swordsman scowled at her, but not for long... Luffy's enthusiasm was contagious, even though they all knew about the mountain of meat beforehand. They had, after all, been the ones to create it.
"I don't know! But it's so cool! And it's my birthday too!" Luffy exclaimed, pure joy written all over his face. It was no secret that meat was Luffy's favourite food of all time.
"It is a SUPER meat mountain," Franky exclaimed, going into one of his favourite poses. Nami sweat-dropped.
"It's certainly very mysterious," Nico Robin said, smiling. "Maybe the great Fifty Legged Sea Monster brought it as a gift for you, Luffy," she continued. Luffy's eyes widened as new excitement coursed through him. Nico Robin was the smartest one on the ship, so if she said so, then it must be true. The notion had a different effect on Chopper.
"F-f-fifty Legged Sea Monster?" he squealed, tightening his grip on Luffy's neck... which had the rubber captain's face reddening as he gasped for air. Sanji chose that moment to light up a cigarette.
"Aa..." he said. All eyes turned to him. "During my time at Baratie, we got a visit from the Fifty Legged Sea Monster," he said, blowing the smoke from his lips for dramatic effect. Chopper shivered. Usopp turned around slowly. He had been in on the plan, but this Fifty Legged Sea Monster part had not been a part of the plan... which could only mean...
"S-Sanji... you must be j-joking, right? E-exactly how big was it?" Usopp stuttered. Sanji's eyes grew serious.
"It was huge..." was his reply. A smoke ring floated from his mouth and over Usopp's face. Usopp trembled. "It scared my precious ladies," the cook continued.
"Yo-ho-ho-ho!" Brook cackled. "I saw this monster many a time as I sipped tea on my ghost ship! It made my eyes bulge... except I didn't have any eyes!" He laughed – by himself – at his own joke.
"I've heard about it too," Zoro said, resting his hand on the hilt of one of his katanas. "I heard only a demon sword like Sandai Kitetsu can cut it." Usopp and Chopper gulped, their eyes wide with fear.
A loud 'chomp' caught everyone's attention. Luffy was sitting on the floor of the kitchen, simultaneously gnawing at two legs of ham.
"It'sh sho goog!" he exclaimed over a mouthful of food. There was a short moment of silence, then the crew attacked the mountain of meat in a frenzy that would only occur on a night like tonight. The Fifty Legged Sea Monster was forgotten by all... except Chopper. The little reindeer shuddered. "The Fifty Legged Sea Monster cooks just as good as Sanji!"
Franky opened the port in his stomach and pulled out a hose which was connected to a container of amber liquid.
"I made SUPER sake," the blue haired half-robot exclaimed. Nami and Zoro slammed tankards onto the table immediately.
"That doesn't look healthy," Usopp declared, shuddering.
"Fill 'er up, Franky," Zoro said, grinning at Franky. Franky directed his sake dispenser to Zoro's tankard.
"Oi, ladies first, Franky," Nami demanded, shoving her tankard closer to his dispenser than Zoro's was. Franky turned his dispenser her way.
"Oi, Franky, I'm the first mate, and I asked first!" Zoro said, knocking Nami's tankard out of the way with his. He was tired of her always having to get her way regardless of how it affected other people... namely him.
"Oi, let the lady go first, marimo," Sanji commanded, frowning at the thought that one of his beautiful princesses would be at a disadvantage.
"Besides," Nami cut in, "I do more for this crew than you do. I should be the first mate." Unfortunately for Zoro, Franky did agree that ladies should go first, and he filled her tankard first. Zoro scowled.
"You get us into more trouble than I do. Also, it is not your decision who is first mate and who isn't. That's totally up to Luffy, and he chose me," Zoro snapped, downing his sake in almost a single gulp.
"He hadn't met me yet," Nami countered, swallowing as much of her sake as she could.
"That... is sort of true," Usopp said. Nico Robin covered his mouth with a hand which sprouted from the table.
"SHUT UP!" Zoro yelled at Usopp the same time Nami thanked him. Usopp decided he would rather be on Zoro's bad side than Nami's. The woman was a terror. "He still wouldn't choose you, you witch. Besides, you're no fun and you only think of yourself," Zoro continued. He held his tankard out to Franky, who filled it up again. "You selfish, thieving witch," Zoro mumbled, taking another gulp of his sake.
Behind them, Luffy, Brook and Chopper were having the time of their lives. Brook was singing a song whose lines all ended with 'chomp chomp'. At that signal, Luffy and Chopper tried to eat as much as possible while keeping chopsticks stuck up their noses. Nico Robin was watching them with an amused expression on her face while serenely putting up with Sanji's attentions.
"What did you just call me?" Nami shrieked after gulping down the remaining sake in her tankard. She shoved it at Franky who refilled it immediately.
"Guys, maybe you shouldn't-"
"SHUT UP!" Zoro and Nami yelled simultaneously, glaring at each other. Zoro didn't care how cute Nami looked, all glowering and angry... he got a kick out of annoying her sometimes, just to see that face... but she had gone too far this time.
"I called you a selfish, thieving bitch, which is just what you are!" Zoro yelled, leaning forward. Nami stuck her face closer to his.
"If it wasn't for me, this crew wouldn't get anywhere! I am, after all, the navigator... and I bring in most of the money," Name hissed.
"That is... again sort of true..." Usopp said again, having managed to free his mouth from Nico Robin's hand.
"SHUT UP!" Sanji, Franky, Nami and Zoro chorused.
"Yeah, but you're a manipulative witch, and you're no fun; you can't even hold your liquor. Also, me and Sanji always have to be saving your ass," Zoro said, slamming his tankard to the table. Franky filled it wordlessly.
"I'm keeping up with you, aren't I? I've drunk the same amount that you have! And, someone has to keep you guys in line. I do fine on my own... if you haven't noticed, I am beautiful," Nami slurred loudly, raking her fingers through her hair.
"Alright, I have a dare for you. If you can hold as much liquor as me without getting stupid drunk, then I will concede that you're a pirate and not just a nasty, thieving, self-centred bitch," Zoro declared, folding his arms across his expansive chest. "After all, a real pirate needs to be able to hold his, or her, liquor and then be able to fight afterwards."
"I ACCEPT!" Nami yelled immediately, too drunk to consider the fact that she would never win against Zoro... which he, and every other member with half a brain, knew.
Minutes later, two rows of tankards were lined off in between Zoro and Nami, with nine tankards a row. Zoro called it 'drinking to each of the Mugiwara crew's members. The tankards were brimming with sake.
"Okay," Zoro said. "We both have to coherently call out the names of this crew in the order that we joined, then, we drink, and all the others have to repeat the name after our drink." Everyone nodded. Even Chopper and Luffy pulled up alongside the drinking game to watch.
"Start!" Brook called out.
"Luffy," Zoro said, very clearly.
"Luffy," Nami said, with only the slightest slur. They both put their tankards to their lips and guzzled the contents. Zoro finished long before Nami did, and waited for her to finish.
"Luffy!" the rest of the crew shouted.
"Zoro," Zoro said, grinning. His hand reached for the second tankard.
"Zorrro," Nami said, slurring on the 'r' in Zoro's name. She put the tankard to her lips and swallowed the liquid as fast as she could so she could beat out Zoro. She had no chance. Zoro slammed his tankard back to the floor before she was even half done with hers.
"Zoro!" the crew shouted after Nami finally rested her tankard down. The orange haired navigator swayed a little.
"Usopp!" Zoro yelled, grasping the handle of the third tankard.
By the time they got to Nami, the fifth tankard, since she officially joined after Sanji when the crew defeated Arlong, the orange-haired woman was slurring random words and swaying... even though she was seated.
"Keep going, Nami," Sanji encouraged. Nami's response was to throw a still-full tankard of sake at his head. He dodged it, only to have it collide forcefully with Usopp's face.
"Taaake dat, you c-cook," Nami slurred, and hiccupped. She tottered to her feet, too drunk to remember the game, much to Zoro's pleasure, and swayed. "Are we onna ship?" she mumbled absently.
"Yes, Nami," Nico Robin supplied helpfully, an amused smile on her face.
"Shhhhuttup... Nikker Brobin!" Nami slurred, swiping a ham bone at Nico Robin's head with surprisingly powerful force. Not wanting his precious dame to be hit with the bone, Sanji jumped into the way, and the large bone hit him squarely on the head.
"Way to get hit, curly," Zoro laughed, still remarkably sober. As if to further prove this, he began to finish the rest of his tankards of sake. A large bump rose up on Sanji's head.
"I would take any hit for one of my precious ladies," Sanji stated, his hearts emanating from his entire body. "You're not hurt, are you, my sweet Robin-swan?" Zoro rolled his eyes.
Meanwhile, Nami was in the stage of angry drunk, and was attacking everyone with intoxicated abandon.
"Oi, Luffy!" Usopp cried as Nami chased him round the table. "Make Zoro take Nami away! He was the one that made her this way, so make him deal with her!" Luffy looked innocently to Usopp.
"Don't you like the game she is playing with you?" he asked, not understanding why Usopp was so scared. It was only Nami, after all... and she was nakama.
"NO!" Usopp screeched so vehemently his teeth appeared jagged and his eyes were mere slits. He jerked to a halt to plead with Luffy. "Please make this stop!" he yelled, just as Nami caught up to him and whacked him over the head with a chair.
"Zoro," Luffy said. "Take care of Nami so Usopp can escape." Everyone else had major sweatdrops on their faces since Nami was currently bashing Usopp with the chair. Chopper started to cry.
Zoro sighed in annoyance and flung Nami over his shoulder. She wriggled out of his grasp until her hands were almost trailing on the floor. As Zoro stomped out of the kitchen, holding Nami in a weird position due to her wriggling, Nami swiped a tankard of sake from the floor and upturned it in her mouth... well she tried to, but the majority of it ended up on the floor. Zoro scowled. Stupid Nami.
If you cracked even one smile, please review! Haha! I am DYING to know what you think!