Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. It is owned by Yoshihiro Togashi.

Dragon and Monkey

Genre: Romance/General

Pairings: Hiei/Oc, Kurama/Botan, Yukina/Kuwabara, Keiko/Yusuke, Shizuru/Koenma

Rating: M

Summary: A series of one-shots centered on a cold fire-dragon and a rambunctious ditzy monkey. Stories of romance, humor, angst, fluff, dark, complete AUs and everything in between staring the infamous Hiei and his monkey (OC romance)

Important Notes: Each story will be rated differently and have its own different set of warnings. Some might just be pure romantic fluff, others might be filled with stupid humor, and others might be dark. I would recommend always read what each story is about before hand to make sure its something that you are comfortable with. The only reason the story is rated M over all is because there will be M rated stories in here and I don't want anyone who isn't fond of that rating to get the wrong idea about the story. More than likely the common rating will be T due to humor, cursing, and sexual tension.

Also, this OC is the same OC from the Will and Determinationseries. You don't have to read the whole series to understand these one-shots (or most of them anyway). But you would get a better history on who she is and what she is to Hiei. BUT these stories are not all based off of the Will and Determination series. Some might be, but some might just be something else entirely. Some of these one-shots might even just be plotless funny things filled with random one-liners.

Yet another Also! If you guys have an idea for a story you would want to see Hiei/Callie, or even the other characters (I love all the YYH characters and don't mind them being the stars for chapters), in let me know! I just might make it a one-shot. I can't promise it for everyone, but if your idea really inspires me I will make it a story. I will let you know ahead of time and of course you will get the credit and dedication :) Also you can speak in the author's note if you wish to make a comment before hand. Unless I send it through the fanfic site, I don't think I will email the chapter to you ahead of time. But that idea might change depending on what is asked. So if you read the Will and Determination series and you had an idea on what you might like to see the two in, but just never ha the time to write it down let me know!

(general) Warnings: There will be cursing, sex, sexual tension, dark moments, humor, AUs, OOCness, OC romance, and character teasing

Story One: Callie isn't the most outgoing girl in the world, however she, after the pressuring of her friends, decides to go for it and seduce the handsome neighbor. Sadly, she fails miserably and embarrassingly in all areas of seduction.

Rating: T

Genre: Romance/Humor

Warnings: OOCness, AU, poking fun at Callie's failure in seduction

Her Seduction

It wasn't often that a human was given the privilege of seeing a fallen angel.

One would have to be under the favor of some god to be allowed to take a glance at one of the more perfectly created beings within the world. To have the highest honor of living close to one of these angelic beings, well lets say someone must've made a deal with the devil to be that lucky.

A creature who had otherworldly looks that made one forget how to intake air.

With a face so stunning and flawless that it should be illegal. A body that was lean and sculpted into a perfect form of thick, hard muscle. Black as night hair, with a burst of stardust within the middle, that appeared thick and luscious. Eyes an unnatural shade of crimson that seemed to glow, rooting everyone to their spot. And the voice! A voice that was deep and had a slight natural husky rasp to it was almost painful to hear. It was enough to shock a person's soul and send them straight to heaven.

A male specimen who oozed off natural masculinity and seduction. Someone who owned the room the moment he walked in and, if he so chooses, could disappear and watch from the shadows like a predator.

Perfection was his name.

This was the privilege one Minamino Callie was living across the hall from.

No, she has not sold her soul to some devil. Paranormal activity freaked her out to the point she would be close to peeing herself. The idea of talking to a demonic creature would probably make her suffer a stroke. No, no. This girl was just blessed with abnormal luck to have an angel not just living in the same apartment complex, not just the same floor, but right across the hall from her.

So, in every sense of a stalker-syndrome, she would watch him enter and exit his abode from her peephole of her door. Sometimes she has waited an hour to see if there was any movement, not wanting to miss an opportunity in seeing him.

Especially if he was coming in from the gym, in his work out clothes, sweaty, intense, and (though she couldn't say the word out loud) sexy as all get out. He worked out daily, it seemed for a couple of hours at a time. It really showed since he was in fantastic shape. His muscles were always flexing against his shirts, when he wore them, and were a perfect tone. He wasn't buff, it would be awkward given his height, but he was complete lean tone muscle.

And he didn't just look good in work out clothes. Of course not. He looked, as her friends would say, positively scrumptious in his work attire. Callie wasn't sure what he did, she had heard whispers that he was an attorney, but he did do something high-end. If he was a lawyer, he must be a damn good one. It was hard to afford the apartment complex they were in otherwise.

She just found herself blessed that her brother was so protective and helped pay for her rent here. She made an OK amount as the Sous Chef at a high-end restaurant a few blocks away, but it still wasn't the most high-paying job in the world. At first she had been a bit insulted getting so much help from her stepbrother, she had some dignity, and felt all the more in his shadow that she had to still live off his support.

It was pretty insulting. She was the middle child, the black-sheep, the one who was not as good or as smart or as awesome as her big brother, and just when she thought she was out on her own going to make something of herself, she still needed him. But after a heart-to-heart discussion with him, he convinced her that it was done out of love and it should be taken out of love. Not pride or pity.

Now she had to bless the over-achiever of a redhead since now she got to see this angel.

Of course there was the downside in that she had to torture herself watching him. Callie was not a very confident girl. She was suffering a lot with low self-esteem recently and seeing a man who was clearly out of her league every day wasn't the most welcomed feeling in the world. It just reminded of her how much she lacked.

All in all, she was just below average in every aspect. Though a bit shorter than average, she didn't stand out in a crowd. In fact she had a tendency in getting lost or trampled by one. Callie was very aware she was not in the best of shape. Because of working with food and then sleeping a lot she had a little extra pudge on her hips and stomach. Nothing to make her obese to say, but she certainly did not have a knockout body. She was also the one of the most boring of all colors in the known world, brown. Her short, shaggy hair was brown. Her large eyes were brown. Her skin was tan (aka a shade of brown). There was just nothing impressive about her looks.

It looked like the earth puked her out.

Then there was her lack of intelligence. Sure she wasn't the dumbest girl in the world, but she was no Einstein. Throughout high school she gained mostly Bs, a few Cs, and occasionally an A or two. Unlike her two brothers who instantly got accepted into great private universities, she went to a community college to get an Associates before she went into culinary school.

She also had a very bad habit of speaking before thinking. Many random, blunt, weird, and embarrassing stuff have come out of her mouth throughout the years. It has caused her and her friends some trouble and her loads of embarrassment.

Really the only thing that stood out for her from her family was that she was adopted from an American orphanage when she was four.

Many of her friends said she had a fascinating job, but in all honesty it wasn't the most impressive thing around. Her elder brother, Kurama, owned a very well off architect firm that was ranking in millions. Her younger brother, Shuichi, was about to graduate college with high honors and a lot of job offers from different hospitals. All her friends had great jobs too. While she loved cooking she failed to see anything special in her she was starting to struggle to see anything amazing in being able to make a crepe. Especially at this particular restaurant...

So given all of that it was no surprise she felt too lowly for the mysterious neighbor. A, rumored, big-time lawyer (which made all the women's eyes turn to hearts and dollar signs), a bachelor with a body of a god, the face of perfection, and someone who at least looks like he knows how to handle someone in bed...needless to say he was popular.

He's taken Kurama's place in the popularity poll; her big brother lost it after he began dating a friend.

Callie, while swooned over his look, wasn't all that interested in that. There was something else about him that drew her to him. There was a sense of mysteriousness to him. But there was also something very lonely in his red-eyes when he ever looked up at her door (she had a feeling he knew he was being watched). It drew a girl who was as sympathetic and kind as Callie.

Besides, she really wasn't all that interested in being with a man who clearly was out of her league.

Especially a man who looked like that.

She's seen a few women go in and out of his apartment, and though naïve, she knew what was happening. The man was experienced. She only dated once and it lasted a week because she was too much of a guy-friend to be seen as a dateable girl. This man was everything she was not. It wouldn't have worked out even if she had the confidence to just say hi.

The brunette never left the apartment if he was out; she always made sure to avoid him at all cost. Last thing she needed was to either be sneered at or totally ignored by a man she had a huge crush on.

But that didn't stop her from watching him when she got the chance. It was now becoming an addiction. All she wanted was to peek through the peephole, and watch the man with gorgeous pale skin, thick bed-head black hair, and deep red eyes.

She had to check her mouth a lot to ensure that drool was not pouring out. She also really needed to check herself out mentally; it seems she was getting a little obsessed.

Has she said he looked amazing yet? Or that his skin looked like it was kissed by the moon or...

"You gotta stop this." Keiko said, breaking Callie from her thoughts.

With a shake of her head she looked out in her living room, away from the door, to see her girlfriends lounging about waiting for the dinner she was cooking to be ready. "I-I'm sorry what?"

"Honey, you were staring at the door again. We all know what you were thinking about." Keiko continued, looking at her friend sympathetically. "This can't be healthy for you."

She looked down in embarrassment and some shame, "I know..." It wasn't healthy and she knew it was downright creepy. But when you lacked the ability to talk to a handsome man, it seems all you can be is creepy.

"Listen to me," Botan started, clearing her throat, enjoying the wine Shizuru brought over. "You have to go for it. You will always regret it if you don't. I know you are shy, but you are also the most...well...let's say the honest girl around. You just need to suck up your courage and go up to him and put on the moves," She shimmed her chest and hips at that.

"Ew." Keiko cleared her throat, grabbing Botan by the pants and yanked her down to sit like a proper lady. "What our beloved bimbo is saying; just talk to him. What is the worst that can happen from saying "good morning" to him?"

"He rapes her." Shizuru stated. "Then kills her. That would be the worst thing."

"You're not helping!" The temperamental Keiko snapped, twitching. "Don't worry. She is just teasing. The only thing that will happen is he says good morning or something along those lines back. We're not telling you to go grope him, just do some small talk."

"We're telling her to do exactly that." Botan, who was on her third glass, huffed. "Callie is the only one without a man. I for one am sick and tired of all these bastards overlooking what a catch she is."

Callie gave her friend a disbelieving, and rather hurtful look, but shook it off seeing she was tipsy. Normally the girls avoided the subject of romance around her since it really did hurt her feelings. It was hard being un-desirable. "I'm no catch Botan. Especially not for a guy like that. I'm sorry guys, I won't look at the door again."

"We're not trying to scold you or anything. And don't say something like that; you're a wonderful person." Keiko said, looking at her friend with sad eyes. It was sad that she was so insecure. "That man across the hall would be lucky to have you."

"You can cook. Men love it when a girl can cook." Shizuru noted, sipping her own wine.

"I don't really see it as any way of getting a man's attention though." Callie sighed, walking over to them with the large plate of food she made. "At work I am hidden in the kitchen, and though I am one of the few girls there everyone calls me another guy. And no customers will be able to see me. And even if someone wants to meet the chef, they want to meet the HEAD chef, not the Sous. I can't very well go over and offer up some dinner."

"Why not? It will certainly get him in your bed." Shizuru said bluntly, taking the plate of spaghetti that was filled with fresh cut vegetables, garlic, wheat noodles, a homemade marinara sauce, and fresh grated Parmesan. "I'm willing to sleep with you now myself with this. Not many can make me like eggplant."

Her face went neon, not able to handle stuff like.

"Shizuru!" Keiko scolded before glaring at Botan who was laughing as well, munching on her own helping. "We're not meaning to tease. But you have talent that you could use to your advantage. Why not use it?"

"Guys, this isn't important, ok? I don't want a man. I am fine with what I am doing and where I am." She huffed, putting up her prideful walls. Denying her loneliness. "I have an decent job, a nice place, and you guys. Why do I need anything else?"

"First, you have a great job that not many can handle. You have a great talent and your job is so stressful. Only a few can do it. And second, it is important because you want it. There is nothing wrong with wanting romance. It can be a pretty fulfilling part of life." Keiko smiled, absentmindedly fiddling with her engagement ring. She had thought the same thing a few years before; she was a workingwoman, she did not need a man in her life. Until she met Yusuke she hadn't realized how wrong she was.

The other brunette huffed a little in disbelief. The chef wasn't like Keiko, she wasn't like any of the girls who were just so above her.

Keiko was a strong, confident woman who had a degree in mathematics-education and in real-estate (friggen genius said she wanted to have many options laid out before her) and was making a great living teaching and selling property on the side. She was stunning and probably could've gotten into modeling if she was not so conservative. Her husband-to-be worshipped the ground she worked on and spoiled her senseless, despite their constant bickering.

Botan was another beauty. Due to some peculiar, and rare, birth defect she was short of being an albino. Her hair was a cotton candy blue while her eyes a bubble-gum pink (everyone teases her that they get hungry for circus food around her). She was actually in a few science magazines when she was younger because of her rare, natural, appearance. But she didn't let it bother her. She had actually used it to her advantage and actually did some modeling when she was in high school. Botan started a charity organization to help kids with "unnatural" appearances to help with their self-esteem. It was through one of these events she met Callie's older brother, Kurama. Now she was in a steady relationship with the ever-perfect redhead and getting herself a pilot's licenses.

Her future sister-in-law was awesome.

Then there was Shizuru, a close friend of all the girls. She knew them through Keiko's fiancée as the older sister of his best friend. She was strong, blunt, and takes no nonsense from anyone. Shizuru went after what she wants and always got it. The proof of that was that she was dating a pretty powerful and rich CEO at the present time. The dirty blonde also owned her own salon downtown and men and women lined up to get their looks changed by her magical hands.

Each of theses girls had a lot going for them and saw greatness in themselves. They had high-paying and respectable jobs. They each had a wonderful man who clearly adored them. Things were just going well for them.

Callie felt a little trapped. It didn't seem like she was able to get a weight off her shoulders no matter how hard she tried. She certainly wasn't one who would give up, but she could be a bit too prideful and embarrassed to ask for help. She hated her job; though she loved to cook it just didn't make up for her experiences at her job. The Head Chef made it clear he thought very poor of her and her gender. Sometimes he treated her more like a busboy than the Sous. She was made to take double, sometimes triple, shifts, or was called in when it was her one-day off. If a plate went out and it was good everyone else got the credit, and if it comes back bad (even if she hadn't known of its existence) it was her fault. Callie had a feeling she was being cheated out of some money from her paychecks.

But she needed the job. Her apartment rent was not cheap, even with the help of family, and she needed to eat. Not too mention she was saving up to perhaps own her own little bistro. No other place would hire her now, not when she was so new to the field and she was confident her present employers would lie about her work ethics (it sucked working for corrupt people).

And forget romance. No man has ever once looked at her and thought, "I want a piece of that". Not like she wants to be seen in such a vulgar way, but after going twenty-three years of no opposite-sex attention, it made her crave at least one little thought. Besides the one guy she has dated, the one that didn't last a week, was to one of her best guy-friends (Who was actually the BFF of Yusuke). How pathetic was that?

It was as each passing day the weight on her shoulders gathered and her self-esteem got lower and lower. And though she was a bit head over heels for the dark angel, even he was seen as an extra weight of doubt.

Poking at her food, Callie tried to get back into enjoying what was happening with the girls. This was one of the few times they were able to hang out. Her insecurities and tough spot in life shouldn't make everything such a downer. It was just part of life, she needed to face the hard-times and grin through it. It wouldn't always be like this and so many had it so much worse.

"Ok, ok," Shizuru downed another glass, shaking her head. "I say its time to face it."

"Uh...?" Callie began dumbly, blinking around. She let out a small curse seeing that she had once against spaced out and had missed over a conversation. She grinned sheepishly, "S-Sorry."

"Actually this just helped prove what I was saying. Callie you have hit a pretty rough spot. I think it is time for you face it; be it you are rejected or you get a relationship. In the end it will start a new chapter for you. I think if you can find the strength to talk to this guy you can find the strength to do anything. This is just a..." The blonde looked over at Keiko for assistance. "Mind helping me, Ms. Shrink?"

Keiko rolled her eyes in good humor, "It is a psychological block. You have something in your mind that is mentally preventing you from stepping forward in your life. I don't think it is the man across the hall, necessarily. I do think that he is the perfect way for you to push past it. You have told yourself you can't do this. But I think if you do accomplish it, this will start some confidence within you. Once you see that you can talk, flirt, and confess to a guy you will be able to do anything."

Callie shuffled in her seat, anxious and unsure. "I-I dunno…"

"Come on! Give it a try! Besides, what you are doing now really isn't working for you. I think it is making you more miserable because you refuse to do anything." Keiko sighed. "Though I wouldn't go for Botan's…eloquent example, I do say put the moves on him and start trying to get something for yourself!"

"W-Well…" She still felt apprehensive. Couldn't she try this with something else? Like standing up to her boss or taking a yoga course or something that doesn't have to do with the hottie across the hall?

"Look, we understand your work situation. It is a tough field so you need to stay there for now." Keiko, the apparent sober one, urged. "You can't expand too much just yet. You have friends and some hobbies. What you don't have and what bothers you are the romance and that man outside that door."

She bit her lip, the idea rolling over her head a few times.

"You know you will regret it if you never do anything." Keiko said, placing a warm and friendly hand on her shoulder. "Just go for it."

"F-Fine…" She sighed, giving in. She stabbed at her pasta a moment.

"Finally! I know this will do something fantastic for you!" The brunette squealed, so excited.

"B-But…" Callie gulped, looking up at the group. "I-I dunno how to seduce!"


Bang. Bang. Bang.

That was the sound of a head hitting the wall of its home. Repeatedly.

"Ugh, what was I thinking?" Callie groaned. After confessing to her tipsy friends she lacked the skills to go after a man she was given a loooong list of how-tos and suggestions. All of which she was required to do.

If only she wasn't so stupidly honest she would've been tempted to lie and said she did it.

Grunting, she stopped hurting herself to scowl.

"Ok, you're in this now. Can't get out of it. Just gotta do it." She pulled out her list and sighed. "Well, at least Keiko's are tame-ish." She scratched her scalp, looking lost at how she could get the courage to do any of these things.

"Keiko says: Say hi and start a small, pleasant conversation. Stroke his ego a bit with some nonchalant compliments. Say he looks great in his suit. Acknowledge him being a handworker after a workout. Do this with subtle, feminine movements; touch your face and/or lips, move your hips slightly, push up your breasts a bit, look up at him through your lashes." She frowned at all the subtle movements. How were those things subtle? It must come with practice.

"Botan says: Give him a smoky, come-hither look. Always appear confident and don't be afraid to tease. Ignore what Keiko says and really push your girls up for him to notice! Also touching him when talking is good. Like his hand and arm, I recommend the bum though!"

Callie scowled, happy Keiko had double-checked what everyone wrote and had scratched through that little part writing to the side, "sweetie don't do that, that will earn you jail time."

"As if I would do that!" She sniffled, getting all teary-eyed thinking about it. Really, drunk Botan was so perverted compared to sober Botan.

"And finally Shizuru says: Give him dinner. Say you have yet to introduce yourself due to a busy work schedule but wanted to welcome him into the neighborhood and made him some dinner…and then offer yourself as dessert-gah! Really! How will any of this actually help me?!"

Bang. Bang. Bang.

Her poor head would be so bruised after this.

"Alrighty…nothing to it. Just do what Keiko said. Go out when he is out and say hi. Just do baby steps. A smile and a hello. Then down the stairs we go uuuh…swaying our hips…then run to Keiko's place." She nodded. "Oh and I can try the smoky, come hither look maybe?"

No more time to plan! She could hear the elevator opening. It must be him from his morning workout; he was pretty prompt in arriving back at 9:30am…which is another creepy stalker point for her.

"Deep breath…aaaand…." She sniffled, leaning against the door. "M-Mommy…Kura-chan…I-I don't wanna do this…." Her stomach felt so sick, like any moment she was going to puke. And her hands and knees were shaking. Her face felt like it was losing all of its blood and at the same time she felt a weird sensation of a burning blush…

"I-It was a promise. Y-You can d-do it." She gulped and with a very deep breath she stepped outside her door.

And almost instantly wanted turned to run back inside.

She had actually caught his attention with her movements. He was there, staring at her! Those red eyes were actually looking at her! And she was actually staring at him without a door in between them!

He titled a brow, noticing her gawking.

"What?"

Oh good god that voice! It was spoken directly towards her! Towards her!

Oh, right. She needed to respond. He was opening up opportunity for a conversation and now was her chance to take it. She couldn't let that deep, rich voice throw her off her confidence game!

"U-Uhm." She cleared her throat, and forced a nervous smile on her face. She was sure she was blushing up to the roots of her hair. "H-Hello…u-uhm…n-nic-nice w-weather!"

"It's pouring."

She paled and looked out the common window at the end of the hall and could see flashes of light. And now that she took actual notice of him she could see he was actually soaked.

"N-Nothing li-like a refreshing storm to clear things up!" She squeaked, knowing she was about to gag up something on her shoes.

"Hn." He grunted, going through his workout bag to find his keys.

Mayday! Mayday! This moment was plummeting fast! She had to do something before the moment was completely lost.

"N-Nice t-to finally see you f-face to face! U-Uhm," Good, that wasn't that creepy. "I-I live across the hall. W-We seem to miss each other due to wo-work." Holy crap, she wasn't doing that bad!

He grunted, "Appears that way."

"W-Well, erm…I-I'm Callie."

"Hiei."

OMG SHE GOT HIS NAME. Ok, play it cool. She needed to play it super cool. Either continue this conversation or coolly walk off.

'Walk off with confidence. That's what Botan would say. I think it is to make them wanting more?' Gulping she gave him a nod. "H-Hope you have a great day!"

"Hn." He didn't seem too interested.

'Oh right….er….sway the hips. Now…uuh, ok, how do I do this?' She narrowed her brows as she turned her back to him and started to walk off, trying to make her hips move. It felt so awkward to force them to shake like this. It felt like an awkward duck walk. But if this is what Botan thought would help her get attention she could try it.

Sadly, her assumption of awkwardness was on the spot. She was looking like an awkward duck.

Hiei tilted a brow as he watched her. 'Is she really doing what I think she is doing?'

'Oh, he's looking? He's looking! Uh…maybe I am doing this right? Ok, turn around to look at him, give him that look Botan said and then….erm….I win?' Turning around, she more or less gave him a glare with a weird duck-face.

Hiei was so lost. And a bit disgusted.

'Oh good grief…turn it off! TURN IT OFF!' She then tried to smile at him, though she knew it came out all stressed and awkward. 'Let's just go before you do something else to ruin it.' Sighing, she went back on her goal to go to Keiko's.

And then she promptly fell down the stairs.


Keiko looked at the miserable girl in pity. She was lounging on the couch sobbing, stuffing her cheeks with ice cream as she watched cartoons, an ice pack on her head and one on her knee.

"Ok…n-not a big deal! So you fell down the stairs the first time you talked to him! I-It isn't the end of the world!" She cleared her throat. She needed to sound strong and sure for her weeping friend. "Just keep trying. Remember, this is for your own benefit, not to get him."

Callie moaned, pressing the icepack closer to her head. "I still have to keep trying? Wasn't that failure epic enough?"

Keiko strongly placed her hands on her hips and gave her friend such a look. "You stop that! Growing up you never backed down from a challenge no matter how rough or how bad you failed." She frowned. "I don't know why, but the past few years have really bummed you down."

"To be fair, my former challenges didn't have to do with a man I have stalker-syndrome for." She winced checking to see if there was a bump on her head. "But I made a promise. If I need to keep this up, I will. But how long do I need to do this if he doesn't do anything back?"

Keiko kept her frown, but then sighed. "Alright. You're right. It's really not fair to pressure you with romance. It is something very different and scary from most challenges. I'm sorry about that." She flopped next to her friend. "If he doesn't do anything by the end of the week, we'll call if off, ok?"

Callie smiled, relieved. "O-Ok. So…six more tries."

"Yes. After that, we can say you accomplished something amazing, which you will, and celebrate by taking you out for food for once." She smiled. "Just keep trying. Keep working for what you want. That's all we want, ok?"

Callie's smile grew. It really touched her to know her friends cared for her so much. If they wanted her to do this, no matter how much she hated it, she would do it for them without much compliant. "Ok. I can do it for you guys."

"And yourself. Now…how about tomorrow you just stay outside your home and talk to him from across the hall? Small talk without stairs! Nothing can go wrong this time."


Small talk across the hall? Ok, that wasn't too bad. And she had the safety of her apartment right behind her if things turned bad again.

All she needed to do was come out and say hi! Just a small, friendly talk and then everything would go so much smoother than yesterday. Just suck that pudging gut in, smile, and everything will go well even if it was false confidence!

Her ears perked when she heard the door open and the man, Hiei, stepped out (this time in one of those "scrumptious business suites") prepared to head off to whatever work he does.

Seeing the need to move, Callie exploded out of her apartment, nearly falling on her face. Luckily this time she caught herself.

Hiei stopped his path to the elevator, giving her a look. Well it certainly wasn't the smoothest entrances one could ever hope to accomplish.

"U-Uhm…h-hello!" She squeaked out, smiling meekly at him. "Good morning!"

Hiei still was giving her the unimpressed stare. As if waiting for something.

"Did you need me for something?"

"I-I…uuuh…" Oh holy crap, she rushed out here without any idea for a conversation. He probably thought there was some sort of emergency with how she ran out to catch him.

"U-Uh…er…n-no! J-Just wanted to…erm…"

"Say hello?" He finished, sounding like he thought it was the dumbest thing he has ever heard in his life.

"U-Uh….y-yeah…?" She choked a bit, about to die on her spot.

"Just a hello?" He asked again, as if he simply could not believe it.

"Y-Yes!" She yelped, her face so red.

Hiei grunted and rolled his eyes. "Hello, then." And he turned to lock his door and started back on his path to the elevator.

Callie blinked as she watched him go. Well, that didn't go so bad at all! Not like yesterday by any means! She saw he got in the elevator, still giving her that insane look. Feeling sheepish, and still creepy, she waved to him and then hurried to get back inside before she did something stupid…those elevator doors still didn't want to shut quick enough.

Seeing he was still staring, she went back in, going for a the hip sway again.

Only to momentarily forget the door was shut and ran nose first into said door with a loud bam.


Ok, so plans One and Two failed. She could handle another try. This one didn't require much movement. All she needed to do was compliment him. No need even for conversation unless he was the one to talk. Yeah, that will work out perfectly.

There was no way plan Three was going to fail her!

She inhaled and exhaled, trying to calm her nerves. This wasn't the end of the world. All she needed to do was go out there with her head held high and be done with it. Yep, it would go perfectly well this time.

Checking her teeth and hair in her entrance hall mirror, she took a few more breaths as she waited for him to come back from his workout. It was going to get harder during the weekend, his movements were far more unpredictable and there was no way to know if she would have time to talk to him then.

She checked her watch and sighed. If he didn't show up soon she would have to go on and leave. She was already pushing her time with work. She would probably earn a real nasty lecture the moment she walked in…maybe it wasn't meant to be today…maybe it was just telling her she needed to let go and…he was back!

Callie scowled. She almost thought she got out of another attempt.

"Well, it just means I am suppose to go for it." Grabbing her stuff, she (slowly, calmly) walked out of her door. Her face was at her feet, trying to get her courage up. She needed to face him despite how bad she has failed. She can do this!

Peeking up, she was a bit shocked to see him waiting.

Crap, seems he was starting to expect something stupid to happen whenever she appeared.

Well not today Sir Hottie Angel! Today was the day of amazingness!

"G-Good morning," She smiled, moving her backpack that had her gear for the day.

He nodded back.

Ok, go for it. All she needed to do was just compliment him. Just say it was inspiring to see someone still working out—she was use to seeing people concerned only with food. Bring up his healthy lifestyle. It wasn't creepy. Keiko said it was a very flattering observation.

"Uhm," She cleared her throat to keep his attention.

"What?" He urged, not sounding very patient.

"I-I….I-I…y-you…" She choked, feeling that sick feeling again. She twisted her skirt tightly, trying to get her confidence-façade going and impress him. All she needed to do was compliment him, stroke his ego, like Keiko said.

"I what?" Hiei asked, tilting a brow.

"Y-You're…." Think of a calm, subtle, flattering, seductive compliment. Play it cool. Say it all laid-back like you don't think about it, when you really do. "YOU'RE GORGEOUS!"

Oh someone shoot her. Please. Just strike her down. It would be a mercy killing.

Hiei blinked at her, a bit taken aback.

She shrieked. "Y-You a-are…b-but I-I d-didn't….I-I I-I mean….s-such n-nice w-weather t-today! Bye!" And then she rushed off, stumbling down the stairs (again). "OH GOOD GOD I SUCK!"

Back up in front of his home, Hiei was still looking a bit surprised before he couldn't help but doing something he hasn't done in probably his whole life.

He burst out laughing.


Today…today had to be the day. She had to accomplish something today.

She's tried the small talk and the feminine moves: Failed. Three times.

She's tried the compliment: Horrible fail.

She's tried the saucy movements: Epic fail.

What was left?

Well, one option was the teasing and another was touching…but that would be the last desperate attempt. That sounded so dangerous with how bad her track record was. So that meant her only option to attempt was…

"The cooking…" She looked at the list in misery. "I don't even know how to approach him with this. Maybe I could just leave it at his doorstep with an apology note? He must be miserable living by me." She smacked her head on her countertop, whimpering.

This exercise was really not helping her self-confidence the way her friends had hoped. Sadly, it felt like she was getting worse.

"W-Well…maybe this one will make me feel better. I mean, I did go to school for cooking." She tapped her fingers on the countertop, a cookbook opened at her side. "But what do I cook for him? There are so many food allergies out there and not everyone enjoys the same thing."

Flipping through the book, she let out a long, dramatic sigh. "It almost seems too risky to cook for him. With how things are going, my luck will send him into analeptic shock."

Tears were close to pouring. Why couldn't she flirt with a guy? Why was this so hard for her? It never seemed this hard or embarrassing for the other girls or the guys. She knew, of course, it was tough and emotionally draining because of fear…but she hasn't heard of anyone constantly failing.

With a defeated whimper, she put the cookbook up. She simply couldn't risk his safety.

"So, I need to tease him…"

Rubbing her head, she groaned. "How on earth do I tease him?"


She had plenty of time to think about it at work. Sadly it earned her a few snaps for daydreaming. Really, everyone else in the kitchen seems to get so much more respect than herself. Why on earth was she so hated?

Well, she'll resolve that issue another day.

In fact she was tempted to forget trying to tease her handsome neighbor too. She was getting in near 12pm the next day and she was beat. She wanted a few hours of sleep before she had to go back in for the evening and yet another night shift.

It wasn't fair! Their restaurant closed after 11 at night! Why did she always have to stay to clean up, prepare, and do extra bookkeeping? Then be demanded to work on a catering order and brunch?

She rubbed her eyes, trying not to cry.

Callie knew she was being mistreated. She knew she was not in a good situation at all…but there was just nothing she knew that she could do to get out of it. She was so terrified if she stood up for herself she would get fired. And if she told her friends the extent of the bullying went she was afraid she would lose her job and someone would go to jail for attacking her bosses.

She needed the money and the experience. She was so young and a female so getting a job soon after losing hers would be out of the question. All of her friends were about to get married so rooming with them for who knows how long seemed so unfair. And moving back home…on top of all of her other shortcomings…she just wanted to keep some pride.

But she had to smile thinking of her friends and the new things she was trying out. Her friends really did care for her and were doing everything they could to make her feel better. And maybe they were right; maybe after this week and facing the sensation of trying and failing she would gain more confidence.

Perhaps enough to tell her boss to stop mistreating her and treat her like an equal. She was the Sous chef! She was supposed to be second-in-command after the owners and the Head chef! She earned that position, so she deserved at least a proper paycheck and schedule.

Sighing, she approached her door.

"Sounds good in my head. But once I have to face that ass I know I'll choke up." She rubbed the back of her neck, trying to find her key without dropping the leftovers she had brought home.

"I certainly hope I am not the ass you are thinking of."

Callie jumped and spun around, looking stunned to see her beautiful neighbor was there! Had he been there the whole time? Was he coming in or out?

Man, she really was tired if she failed to notice her obsession.

"H-Huh? Oh, oh no, no!" She shook her head rapidly. "J-Just boss trouble. T-That's all." There was no way she would call him any form of a bad word. She actually had grown out of her cussing teenage stage and only said vulgar words out of pure exhausted emotion.

He looked at her.

Man he was intimidating and gorgeous…

'Ugh, I never want to use the adjective gorgeous ever again.' She gulped, getting all nervous. Ok, well here was another chance! She should take it and do something.

Only…what was she suppose to do again? Her brain just felt so fried. She got in trouble for thinking about it and now that she was facing him she forgot?! Such is her life.

"What is he doing?"

Callie nearly flew back into the door, shocked to the core. He was talking to her! He was making a conversation with her!

"U-Uhm…w-well…just some minor bullying, I-I s-suppose." Sadly, the conversation was covering quite possibly the only conversation she never wanted to talk about. "I-It is a bit normal. It's a male-dominated field, so getting pushed around a bit is to be expected."

He frowned. "Because you're a woman."

"W-Well, yeah." Gah he noticed her gender! Ok, not the best thing to swoon over…but she shall swoon none the less. "But it isn't the end of the world. I-I am happy to at least have a nice job…"

"Hn," He grunted, his eyes pretty much dissecting her.

She gulped. Despite neither of them knowing the other she got a cold feeling that he knew she was lying.

"You should show some backbone and do something about them." He said. "I hate weaklings."

The brunette paled and nodded frantically. "I-I wi-will! I-I'm not weak!"

"Good." He grunted, as he went back to his door. "If you need legal help, let me know."

"Ah…t-thanks…?" She gushed, hearts all over the place as he left back into his own abode. He was really amazing. Sure he was a bit cold and very scary when he just glared, but he talked to her and looked out for her. So he had a good heart to match his good looks.

Well, now she could go to sleep easily and get a lot of rest. Nothing wrong with having romantic dreams about him, right?

With a hum, now in a much better mood, she finally got her keys out to get back inside.

"GAH! I DIDN'T TEASE HIM!"

Inside his own apartment, Hiei grinned, hearing everything. "What an idiot."


"Well, it's Saturday Callie. You only have one more day to get this hunk's attention." Botan smiled. They all decided to have their weekly meeting back at Callie's apartment despite a tradition of changing week to week.

"Ugh, I am getting his attention…but it is the wrong kind. I just keep doing so many awkward things." She sighed, cooking the chicken breasts in butter, garlic, and many other herbs. "The other day I actually screamed out my intention of teasing him after failing."

"Ok, so it's not going super smooth. But you are doing it! That is impressive." Botan grinned, already reaching for her second glass of wine. "This romance and flirting bizz, it's not easy."

"And we already said this whole thing will be called off tomorrow." Keiko smiled, helping her good friend out by setting out the platter of cheeses and crackers. "I am so proud of you though! Most would've just lied and wouldn't even make an attempt. You're not giving up."

"I sorta wish I had. I mean, I really do appreciate the idea of what this is supposed to do for me and, sure, in a few months this won't be the end of the world. But right now I am miserable. Suffering one embarrassing flop over another is hard." She left the main course to check on the different sides.

"Well yeah, but embarrassment is part of learning and maturing. It is life…the ciiiiiircle of liiiiiife!" Botan sang off key.

"And that is the cue you already have had enough." Keiko grunted, stealing the glass away. "We met here to help her with her final attempts, not to have him think she is killing someone in here."

Botan pouted, "I have a stunning voice. British accents are all the rage in pop-culture. I'm sexier than Harry Potter, Hermione Granger even!"

"First off, no one is sexier than Hermione Granger. Don't ever say something so blasphemous." Keiko warned, a big fan of a fellow bossy nerd. "And second, your singing voice sounds like a chipmunk with nasal issues suffocating."

She simply received a pillow to the face for the insult.

"Well, I have yet to hear you even try the cooking attempt. You know…the one I said to do." Shizuru grunted, taking the wine-bottle away from Botan's vicinity and added it into her own glass.

"Well, I actually wanted to do that. But I got paranoid." Callie groaned. "You have to admit my luck hasn't been super amazing with this guy. I could cook him the one thing he is allergic too and kill him."

"Hmm," Shizuru left the glass up at her lips. "Point taken."

"But that doesn't mean you can't cook for him." Keiko corrected. "Make him something that you think most people would like and bring it to him. As part of the conversation you could ask if he has some. If he doesn't, it works out and he can eat what you made. If not, you know what you can make him in the future."

"I thought I was done after this."

"Officially yes. But I know you. After you do this, you're going to want to try every so often. Besides, you love baking holiday goodies. You'll be able to now make him some." Keiko chirped, all excited.

"Well…" She looked at the food. "I did make extra tonight." As usual, she always made enough to have leftovers for the next day. It was nice to have something made so she could eat at sometime during her hectic schedule.

"That works out brilliantly! You go and hand it over to him and we're right here to help you out afterwards." Botan cheered.

"U-Uhm, o-ok." She brought up a nervous smile. "G-Guess it is worth a shot."

"Whoo-hoo! Go for his bum!" Botan grinned.

"I'll keep her quiet." Keiko promised. "Go on and make his plate first. That way if it feels tense you have an excuse to rush back over here."

Callie smiled, "What would I do without you guys?"

"Commit suicide."

"Shizuru!"

"What? She asked." The blond shrugged, sipping her wine elegantly.

Callie just rolled her eyes, knowing Shizuru didn't mean it. The blond loved doing anything to poke at Keiko's conservative and protective nature.

"A-Alright." She went on and made him a plate, trying to keep her hands from shaking.

"You can do it." Keiko beamed, giving her a friendly hug. "Now go out there and show him your skill."

"O-Ok." She gulped and went out to face the handsome man. After a quick knock on the door, almost praying he didn't answer, she heard some movement…crap, he was here. Now she just had to pray that Keiko kept the two under control and for once this goes smoothly.

"What?" He greeted ever so politely.

Great, he must've been busy…

"E-Erm, sorry to interrupt your evening. Uhm…I was making dinner for some friends and had a bit e-extra. I was curious if you wanted…i-if you don't have food allergies!" She meeped.

"Oh," he looked at the plate a brief moment and nodded. "Sure."

She looked surprised, "S-Sure? R-Really?"

"Isn't that what I just said?"

"O-Oh r-right! U-Uhm! H-H-Here you g-go!" She handed over the plate, being careful to not spill anything over him. "I-I hope you enjoy it. Uhm…"

"I'm sure I will."

She nearly fell over from one intense swoon. This man was very bad for her heart.

"W-Well…u-uhm…" She pushed some of her short hair behind her ear, trying to think of something else to say.

"TOUCH HIS BUM!" A very familiar voice screamed from her open door.

"DEAR GOD BOTAN! I THOUGHT I GAGGED YOU!"

"YOU CAN NEVER GAG THE BRITISH! WE RULE!"

Callie slapped her hand over her face. "I-I better get back before the Queen's child destroys anything." There was a loud crash. "Erm…now I better go and pick up whatever has been destroyed."

Hiei chuckled, "Thank you for this."

She blushed brightly and looked down at her feet. "W-Well, I know I can be a….er…social-retard. And I can make people uncomfortable. So this is a bit of an apology. But I do love cooking so if you…erm…ever want anything I am up for making something…." She kicked invisible dust on the pristine wooden floor of their hall.

"Sure." He shrugged. "I don't deny free food."

She couldn't help but beam, her eyes sparkling. "T-Then j-just let me know and I'll make anything!"

"Hn." Hiei grunted back. She had a feeling he just agreed to her deal.

"W-Well, u-uhm….I-I'll g-go on n-now…"

"Oye! You asked him if you could be his dessert yet?"

"SHIZURU!"

"What? It's a valid question."

Callie groaned. "Yes…leaving now sounds like the best idea in the world." Stupid best friends! Of course they would use this moment to embarrass her! She had been so close in escaping this without much of a hitch.

"You're my dessert?" Hiei asked, very amused.

"T-They're drunk!" Callie squeaked.

"Ain't drunk enough yet!" Shizuru answered.

"No one asked you!" Callie hissed, glaring at the open door.

Hiei had to laugh.

Callie felt mortified. She felt like an idiot. Why couldn't she just have one encounter where she flirted properly? Did she really have to make herself so obvious and so ridiculous each and every time? Life simply was not fair.

"TELL HIM TO TAKE OFF HIS SHIRT! I WANNA SEE THE MUSCLES YOU TALK ABOUT!" A clearly smashed and has-yet-to-be-caught Botan giggled.

"I'M SO SORRY CALLIE! SHE'S JUMPING ON THE FURNITURE! I CAN'T GET HER!"

Callie just sobbed. "I-I'm just going to go…go shrivel and die somewhere." She groaned as she dragged herself to her door. "Hope you enjoy the meal." She muttered as she slammed the door.

It was silent for a moment…and Hiei began the mental countdown.

'Three…two…one…'

"GUYS! I DIDN'T WANT HIM TO KNOW I GAWKED AT HIS MUSCLES!"

Hiei found himself laughing again as he went started back into his own place. Living next to her didn't seem quite so bad. At least he now got free food and entertainment.

"Oh holy crap I SAID THAT OUTLOUD!"

Nope, not so bad at all.


A very exhausted brunette dragged her feet up the stairs, her stomach empty and her head swirling. Of course she would be called into work as soon as she sat down with her friends for yet another ridiculous all nighter. Saturdays were suppose to be her day off. She needed at least one day off, especially after so many times she has done overtime and so many shifts that didn't belong to her.

'Screw the Sunday-flirting. I only have four hours now to rest before I come in for my normal shift.' She wanted to sob. This was just so unfair. What a horrible and disastrous week.

With shaky hands she tried to hold on to her keys and get into her home.

She sniffled when they dropped to the ground.

Of course it wouldn't be so easy for her.

Wiping her eyes she shakily picked them back up, only to find her fingers locking and unable to curl. They ached terribly a she tried to pick the blasted keys up, only her fingers simply did not have the strength to do something so simple.

"C-Come on..." She hiccuped. "I just want to go to bed."

She was able to get them two feet above the wood before gravity claimed them again.

"N-No...come on." She pleaded, very well prepared to start breaking down into sobs.

"Here."

Callie froze in her pitiful plight as a new, larger, hand appeared in her line of vision and snapped the keys up. This couldn't be happening. Not now of all times. It just wasn't fair.

She looked up and lo and behold there was Hiei holding out the keys to her. "You're having trouble."

"O-Oh," Her tongue didn't want to work properly. And she wasn't so sure if it was because of him or her exhaustion. "Y-Yeah. Just...uhm..."

"Tired." He finished.

"Yeah." She nodded, not putting up much of a fight.

"You look it." He continued. Quite a blunt fellow her super-crush was.

"Yeah." She nodded again.

He waited for a moment, "Nothing to say today?"

"Huh?" She stared at him with heavy eyes, it not quite clicking what he meant. "Say...o-oh?" Her face went all the more pale. "I-I guess I should apologize yesterday evening. My friends did get rambunctious and said some uncomfortable things."

"Hn." Another grunt. That must be a trademark of his. "I meant something else."

"Something else? U-Uhm..." What did he mean? Ugh, her head was pounding and could not stop spinning. Did he mean flirting? No, he couldn't know what she was trying to do right? He must be talking about something else or maybe he was confused...or maybe she was confused...

All she wanted to do was go to bed.

"I-I...u-uhm..." Well today was her last day. She should keep her promise and maybe one last attempt. "N-Nice w-weather?"

Hiei chuckled a bit. "Close enough."

She just wanted to throw something at him. He was being cruel and confusing when she was clearly so tired and sick. She was trying her best! She really, really liked him and all he just couldn't see it. Of course it was her fault. She kept acting like a stupid moron. It could be easy to misinterpret what she was going for.

All she was was a failure. A stupid loser who was average to below everyone else in everything. She had a horrible job where people seemed on their heels to make things hard for her. Surrounded by friends and family who excel in everything they touch. A constant embarrassment with flirting with her crush. She was tired and cranky and about to bawl like an infant in front of him and make an even bigger fool of herself. And...

Something soft brushed her lips. She could barely see since her head was spinning so much, but she was sure she could still feel and...did he...was that...were those his lips that had just touched hers?

She looked up at him. Her expression stunned and confused. What just happened? She was so out of it and lost in her thoughts of misery and self-pity she was absolutely lost in what just occurred.

"H-Huh...?"

"You should sleep." His voice was almost a purr.

"I-I..." She squeaked, still so lost.

He ignored everything as he grabbed her keys from her weak hands and took the liberty in letting her in. "Go rest." There was such an intense tone in his voice that she had no chance in arguing.

"O-Ok." She nodded dumbly, moving in as told.

"Good. I will see you later." And then closed the door, leaving her alone in the dark.

Her mind was wheeling around. Everything felt like it was spinning. What just happened? What on earth just took place in the past seven minutes? How did she go from near crying in front of her door to now standing so lost in it?

"I-I...I-I just need sleep. T-That's it." She whispered, barely able to breathe. She walked like a zombie to her bedroom, not even noticing her shoulder bumped hard into the doorframe.

Collapsing on the bed, not bothering to change clothes, Callie felt her eyes droop to a close, her mind trying to replay all that happened and to make some sense of it.

She had made another failure attempt at flirting (despite being cranky), she was close to getting sick and sobbing, then something soft was on her lips, then she was in her room...

"I-It can't be." She yawned, snuggling into her pillow. "Just...no way."

Was she in a dream-like state or did she actually just kiss her hot neighbor?

Maybe she didn't suck near as bad as she thought.

"Naaaah..." She shook her head in denial before she was a zonked out in her pillow, drooling.


Author: I would first like to thank Black Wolf Jaganishi Lover who was the one who suggested this idea. I've always enjoyed making random one-shots (do it for Naruto and planned for it for Bleach) but I never really thought about it for Hiei/Callie until she suggested it. So this is all dedicated to her and her brilliant, inspirational idea!

Also, you won't have a HUGE introduction note at the beginning of every chapter. This was just a big one that you needed to read through to explain this story and this chapter. Each one from now on should only be about the individual chapter.

I might be pretty mean to Callie at times, lol, she is just easy to pick on. But that doesn't mean anyone else is safe. You can expect most everyone to get picked on a little bit. For the most part there shouldn't be really any hardcore bashing unless I get a request or feel inspired to bring Hibari into the picture. I admit, while I liked her for some weird reason, she was not the most original characters and was brought in for hate alone. So, while she is a shameful "literary ploy" she is harmless fun for bashing and drama.

To let you know, most everything I put up will be a one-shot. Sometimes they will have another "sequel" somewhere down the road, but most of them will stand on their own. If there is something that calls for multiple parts I will keep them in order and you will be made aware of what story they go with (incase they don't).

I'm also here to hear what you want to see! I can't promise I can do and/or feel inspired by every thing you guys might wanna see, but I think you shouldn't be shy in saying something you would like to see. The only thing I might not be so open with is making Callie dark and evil and possessive. I just...don't think she has it in her. Hiei has a better chance of being fluffy hen she is to be evil unless she is possessed. BUT I have ranted about Kishimoto (creator of Naruto) and his refusal to step outside the box and expand his characters, and I would be hypocritical of me to not try either. So if I get inspired for a story, or you all really want one, I will make the attempt.

This collection might not be as predictable in being updated like any other fanfics (not like they are very predictable either). Since each will be a separate story it could be updated real fast at times or real slow.

Wisdom and Patience: Will be updated! It has not been forgotten! Just as a reminder for everyone, I am working on a lot of different projects and trying to rewrite everything (including the Will and Determination series). I am also working on my novel so there is a buttload of writing going on, but it is presently in the background and nothing besides a few things have been shown. But it will! Hope you all trust me on that!

Now, I think that is all that is to be said! I hope you all enjoy the one-shots :) Thank you for your time!