This will be an ongoing project of sorts; a humorous look into some of the ridiculous things in Chrono Trigger that got me questioning a very deep and profound 'what the heck...!?' Lets face it: There are some things that make no sense in this game. And they're so nonsensical that I couldn't help but love them enough to write about 'em.

Disclaimer: You're safe today, Crono.

Not Disclaimer: I'd also take suggestions/situations from YOU into my sleeve, if you are so inclined. Reviews are wonderful.


Having thoroughly distracted himself with every possible stand at the fair, Crono finally gathered his attention span and made for the first set of stairs towards his original destination- the clearing where Lucca was about to showcase her newest invention. "Gotta focus," he told himself firmly. "She'll kill me if I'm late... Or someone else if I'm not there to make sure everything goes right."

In his wondering how that seemed so familiar a thought, he nearly slammed into a blonde girl running aimlessly around the square.

"Whoa!" he yelped, jumping back just in time to avoid her, ever thankful for his sharp reflexes. "Sorry! I almost barreled you over there."

The girl ignored him and kept running in silent circles.

"Are... you okay?" Not even a glance was spared his way. Out of nervous habit, he chuckled and rubbed at the back of his head, eying the staircase from under Leene's bell hopefully. "Okay… well, I kinda gotta go... so..."

Seeing he wouldn't get a response, Crono began walking towards the stairs again, trying to ignore the fact that the girl seemed to be running closer and closer to him. Her circles became tighter until they were invading his personal space, bringing him to an awkward standstill.

"I'm sorry. Did you need something?"

Her pony tail slapped the back of his head with each turn she made.

"… er," he spat out a mouthful of hair. "Excuse me, please."

She began leaning against him.


Feeling claustrophobic and not really sure what else to do, he attempted to walk around her when the air was very suddenly and harshly knocked from his chest. Somehow, their bodies had hit with enough force to send them flying across the cobblestone, which met Crono with a cruel, hard thump.

The girl stood up abruptly and bushed off her back side before rushing over to him. "Hey! That hurt!"

"Oh, so you can talk." With unimpressed skepticism, he glared at her from the ground, hesitant to take her outstretched hand. Already he could feel a goose egg forming on the back of his head. "Who are you anyway?"

"I'm so sorry!" She bent down to help him up, still sounding as if she hadn't really heard him. "Are you okay?"

"Sorry?" He wanted to slap himself, but he reached for her hand instead. "You're not sorry, and I'm not oka-"

As he was about to latch on to her grasp, her hands flew away to her neck. "Uh oh! My pendant!" She was back to running around in aimless circles again, this time shaking her head. "Don't tell me I lost it!"

His arm still hanging mid-air, Crono let it drop hopelessly and cranked his head backwards to see- as he suspected- the sparkling necklace just a few meters away. He sighed. Her circles were getting tighter.

"Stupid illogical plot devices..."

I would tell you to try this yourself (it will happen if you stand in the right place) but I feel evil doing something like that. Mostly. But really, don't do it. Save yourself.