A/N: So, it's been quite a while since I've written anything o.O I decided I need to get back into writing, since I enjoy it so much, and I figured fan fiction is good practice C: Plus, I adore this pairing and there are NOT NEARLY ENOUGH stories for this pairing. It's saddening... Anywho, I'm doing one of those song challenge thingies. You know the ones lol. I'll be randomly choosing songs from my music library in alphabetical order (except for Q and Z... Can't find any songs I can actually get into enough to write a song based story off of. Instead of doing these 2, I will gladly take requests for songs :) The way I'll do them is once I've reached Y I will do 2 requests to make up for the missing letters. Idk how many chapters I plan on doing, though, but I will try my hardest to do all requests) These stories will be rated anywhere between K and M, and I can promise lime, but I'm still iffy about lemon. Eh, who knows. I may change my mind on that one. I'll try to update once a week on Fridays if I can. My schedule is so very hectic, and I'm still getting used to being a new mommy :) Also, for anyone who is reading my other story 'Calling You' that I haven't updated in FOREVER, I am still working on that. I apologize for the ridiculous delay in updating that one, but I do plan on finishing it. I'll start writing on it again very soon. I just dont have my own computer at the moment, and since that particular story is, in fact, supposed to be a lemon I feel uncomfortable writing it on just anyone's computer xD. Anyways, enjoy the first chapter and don't forget to review and let me know what you think! (Although, I'm not gonna be one of these people who wont update if I don't get reviews. That's just sillay! xD I'll update regardless) Enjoy!
Chapter One: "A Lack of Color"
Artist: Death Cab for Cutie
Rating: K+ (romance/angst)
(Beast Boy's P.O.V.)
As Starfire packed her bags, all I could do was watch her from the doorway, my feet rooted to the spot as if the Earth's gravity had suddenly increased tenfold. My mind was desperately screaming for me to make my move before it was too late; to grab her and hold her close; to soothe her all too fresh wounds. I couldn't bare to see her like this. Starfire was one of the strongest girls I had ever met and to see her this upset- to the point that she was willing to throw away the life she had built from the foundation up on this planet- was tearing at my very soul. I had never seen her cry before... I didn't like it one damn bit.
The Tamaranian suddenly stopped her rushing about the room, gathering all her belongings, and fell to her knees; her shoulders shaking violently, even though her tears were silent. I reached my hand out to her, yet my accursed legs would still not follow my heart's desires. I needed to be her shoulder to lean on. I needed to provide her with a reason to stay. I needed... Damn it all, there were so many things I needed to be doing in this very instant that my body simply would not allow.
"I can not believe...that I was...so childish."
Her voice shook, and in its' bitter nature, the words hung heavily in the air around us. I could practically feel every syllable; her soft voice twisting the knife within my own heart.
"He never loved me...It is so obvious now..."
Her last words were merely a whisper, yet with my adept sense of hearing I was able to catch them. Starfire dabbed at her eyes with the back of her sleeve, trying, even now, to act tougher than she was.
'Star... You don't have to put on a show for me.' I thought.
"I am...never coming back here."
'No! Don't leave over Robin! Please, don't leave your own life behind just because he isn't a part of it! Don't leave me behind...'
Damn it, mouth, speak!
After what seemed like an eternity, Starfire got back up on her feet, roughly picked up her bags, and stalked right past me out of the room, on her way to the ship residing on the roof. I allowed myself only a moment to look around the now empty room, the barren walls eating at me... This wasn't right... Damn it, this wasn't right at all!
Somewhere, somehow, I found the strength within myself to turn and chase after her. Panic filled me with every step. What if it was too late? What if she had already climbed into her ship and taken off? I bounded up the steps leading to the roof top, taking the stairs two at a time, cursing myself for being too overwhelmed with the situation to transform into something that could get me to her faster.
I threw the door of the roof top open with all my might, and was relieved to see that Starfire was standing at the edge of the tower, looking out over the water.
"Don't leave!" I shouted, causing her to turn towards me with a slightly startled expression on her beautiful face. About time you started working, Voice. "Starfire, please stay here! I don't know what I'll do with you gone! Robin doesn't deserve you, anyway!"
"Friend Beast Boy-"
"It's fine if you want to start a new life. I get that, but you don't have to leave to do that. You could start a new one here...with me."
Starfire's expression was unreadable, her lips slightly parted. My heart was beating rapidly with adrenaline, and with every passing second, i became more aware of the fact that I probably had waited too long to tell her my feelings. I felt as though she were dissecting my very being with those emerald eyes... There was something there, hidden within their depths.
"I am sorry, friend, but I can not continue to stay here."
My words were failing me yet again. I felt as though I were babbling on like an idiot at this point. I clenched my fists, my nails digging into the soft flesh of my palms, and stared down at my shoes, no longer able to keep her gaze. It was more than I could bare. This wasn't a movie. There wasn't going to be a happily ever after ending. No tides were about to turn. I had waited too long to try to make her mine, and now I was paying the ultimate price. I was losing her forever... I had played the fool in this tale from the beginning...
"Just remember this when you go." I began, these words coming much more naturally to me. "I...I love you, and I should have told you before. I don't hate you for leaving, though. If this is something you feel you need to do, I'm not going to argue with you from this point on. I just hope that wherever you go, whether it's back to your home planet or elsewhere, you're happy. And...Don't forget me."
"I could never forget you!" she instantly replied, her voice sounding frantic and tear choked. "Beast Boy, I- You are one of the most precious people I hold dear to me! I will always have a special place just for you in my heart. I just simply...can not stay... It is time for me to move on. I am very sorry..."
I solemnly nodded, forcing myself to look back up at her.
"Do you think things could have been different?"
Starfire's gaze softened, and she took a few steps closer to me. Funny- she was so close, yet I could not hold her...
"There was a time, dear friend, when they just could have been."
My throat felt as if I had swallowed a cotton ball, and tears began to sting at my vulnerable eyes after hearing such bittersweet words.
"...Take care of yourself, Star."
Her eyes welled up with tears again. Were those tears for me? She turned away from me, taking slow, yet meaningful, steps to her ship, her shoulders slumped.
"You also, dear friend..."
I couldn't watch her leave. I turned and headed back inside, numbly making my way to my bedroom. Did I really just let her go without more of a fight?
A/N: I may write a continuation of this sometime... Idk though. I kinda like the bittersweet ending.
Till next time!