God has a voice that is velvet over broken bones, she learns.
He speaks, and the word fall from his lips like raindrops on an autumm morning. There's nothing to say and nothing to see- but she hears the name all the same, the ghost haunting her eyes and the tangles in her hair.
His eyes are cold, but not cruel. She wishes they were cruel. She wishes they'd fight until her lips scrape against the clouds and her blood stains the sun. It was easier when time was measured in cuts and blows, not disappointment and blind faith.
Little girls fall in love with their older sisters. Protectors fall in love with the protectorates. God falls in love with a concept.
The sky is as purple as the day she died. It fits her mind. It fits her words. It fits him. She waits until the waves of the sea batter against the shore of the sky, and the spray dots their faces with blood.
"Your world, or her?"
She is my world, is what she'd say. But it isn't true- the worlds filled with scars and broken promises, little sisters with chapped lips in the cold, and hearts that match the footsteps of ghosts. There's hope and there's Hope, and she'll kill them both with this decision.
If god didn't care, he wouldn't have lost. If god didn't care, he wouldn't have cried. If god didn't care, he wouldn't have been her. In lost dreams and past lives, she stands in his place and speaks the same words. And fails every time. Shared fates, shared souls, shared goals- but he is power and she is loss.
But they were wrong, all of them-there is no god. There is only a girl who slips through her fingers and a man whose lips drip with time. There is no god, and there never was a god: there is her, there is him, there is the pale white waters below them.
The man who became divinity. No, that was wrong. Caius is human. Caius is a god. Caius never forgot, and neither did she. He is as human as her. No sympathy, no empathy, single mindedness- widows and mothers that close the shutters and wait for people who will never return. And with a wave of his hands, she opens her eyes.
"The world, or Serah?" He says, but he knows (and makes) the same decision.