Because i love writing angsts. a take on akashi and midorima's relationship.
Midorima did not know when their relationship began, but he did know how it ends. He knew because the weather outside directly complements the tumult in his heart- the sky had cried the tears that had been suppressed, and the thunder had blared, voicing the sounds that never came out from his lips. It had ended the time Akashi had said- on their way home from school, standing in front of the school's lobby, sheltered from the rain. Both had umbrellas on their hand.
"Shintarou. We'll be going to different schools."
He could literally hear the sound of his heartbreak because Akashi picked up a stray twig and broke it to two.
He could hear his own voice, saying what he didn't want to say- it was an acknowledgement. The hanging promise between them- no one ever disobeys Akashi's orders. Yet for the first time in his life, Midorima wished he had. But he didn't. What came out from his lips was,
It was Akashi and not Seijuurou. Because he no longer had the right to say it.
He would wonder a few days after- mulling on his house when it exactly went wrong- but he knew, just as Akashi knew. That Cancer and Sagittarius didn't match. The day Akashi had kissed him, Midorima had went home and read Oha-Asa's love horoscope on their signs-almost obsessively. They didn't match- it was like trying to combine water and fire together- and Midorima was no alchemist.
Yet he persisted, he ignored the warnings of the Oha-Asa horoscope.
Yet the description of their relationship had been so accurate- and painfully so.
But he still persisted, even though their shots might not be accurate. But he tried. Because Akashi was more than worth it.
You are so unalike that you are fascinated by each other. Watery Cancer, flowing in a personal world of feelings and imaginings, finds Sagittarius' grand quest for understanding life's bigger questions baffling. Fiery Sagittarius, on an endless adventure where the horizon keeps shifting, finds Cancer's anxious emotionality perplexing.
He remembered telling Akashi about it. Akashi had looked at him, for a long 5 minutes glance, that Midorima's finger began to sweat beneath the tapes.
What are you trying to say, Shintarou?
He did not dare say a word. Not because he's frightened, but because he wants Akashi. He wants his fiery nature and Akashi's beautiful dominating nature. He wants the silent fire that lits Akashi's eyes, his water longs for it, he did not long to extinguish it- he longed to amplify it. And that day was the day he notices he had fallen for Akashi- and horoscopes be damned.
He had let their lips met each other- and that was when he was sure, they had it. They had chemistry.
I was trying to say that I may have fallen for you, Akashi.
But I knew that already. My emperor eye can predict the future, you know.
Midorima would not say that he wants to be with him till death do them part. Because his love for Akashi transcends even death.
Midorima could not say that he loves Akashi more than basketball- because he knew it was true. And the truth often hurts.
Akashi is his captain, his fire, and his love.
But they had parted schools, and people move on.
The next time he met Akashi- he already find a replacement. Takao Kazunari loves him, maybe more than Akashi did. He understood Midorima, teased Midorima, care for him. But more important than anything, he said the words Akashi never said, "I love you, Shin-chan." And he said. "I can't live without you, Shin-chan."
Takao was a Scorpio. And Oha-Asa horoscope had said that they would be perfect together.
They belong to the same element. They're a match made in heaven.
Yet Midorima will stil find the ache burning in his heart, like a long forgotten scab that had reappeared when he saw Akashi- their meeting had been random, something that doesn't come from a picturebook. He had released Takao's hand almost immediately- not because of Akashi, but because he knew it felt wrong.
Shintarou. He did not know why Akashi still uses his first name- but he knew it wasn't special. Akashi called the whole generation of miracles with their first names. Long time no see.
Long time no see indeed. Akashi might not know- but every night- Midorima would stare at the shogi piece and think of him.
Then he would text Takao- telling him that he loves him.
And Takao would reply, no matter how late it is. Love you too. Then he would be disgusted of himself, because who the fuck is he fooling?
Akashi had smiled. The words that came from his lips wasn't too helpful, because it only wants Midorima want him more.
I missed you a lot, Shintarou.
Akashi was careful to keep his gaze on Midorima- because averting his gaze would be committing a liability. And Akashi never loses.
Maybe suffocated by their intense gazes, Takao had excused himself, and Midorima could swear he could saw his lover's lips trembling. He knew he ought to chase after him, hug him and reassure his love for the other man. But Akashi's eyes bore into him- assessing his actions.
Shintarou. It took one word from Akashi to make him stay. One word.
Akashi. Because he would never leave Akashi alone- not even if the world is in stake.
Are you happy now- Shintarou? For the first time in his life- Midorima found his eyes threatening to water- excluding his losses during basketball matches. Because this hurts more than the time when Akashi wishes to break up. This one is a deliberate action, and Akashi's eyes was staring at him- and it reminded him of those time Midorima had hugged him during many a calm night after their matches.
I love you, Akashi. Midorima had whispered, and he felt Akashi's smile on his nape. I know, Shintarou.
He knew Akashi would always win- but he had tried to beat him in shogi and tests, because he wants to be his equal and stay by his side forever. But he always failed- but he still wants to be by Akashi's side- selfishly, knowing it won't be allowed.
He guesses they just weren't meant to be.
this will be a two shot. Please review.