Hogwarts Rejection Letters

Original 4

Dear Professor McGonagall

We decided to send this as a joint letter for our convenience so I will be writing like this and I will be writing like this.

Neither of us has any interest in your school as we are already up to fifth year level and will probably be sixth by the time your school starts in September. Basically were better than you and your wizard raised purebloods. Need I remind you that you're a pureblood, Blaise? Shut up, Harry! Okay, okay anyway if you come after us we will kill you. Dramatic much, Harry?

Nearly ten years ago my brother, Richard Potter was named the boy-who-lived who comes up with these titles anyway? Who knows, someone with no imagination probably; now where was I? Oh right, Richard was crowned savour and I was abandoned by my so called family the Potters to a life of hell at the hands of my so very loving relatives. I swear Harry, one of these days your going to let me kill them. They're not worth it Blaise. No, but you are Harry.

Now than Harry was left with his relatives which I am still not happy about, and I was abandoned by my father who thought I was a squib after he beat my mother again. Your father is so going to die one day Blaise. Hypocrite much, Harry? Shut up, Blaise. Afterwards, Harry and I met up after his uncle dumped him in an orphanage and we've been friends ever since. Your glossing over a lot there, ya know? So, not like they need to know, do they?

Needless to say we escaped that orphanage and thanks to Blaise's photographic memory was able to find Diagon where the goblins were very helpful. Seriously, were you that confident in your plan, Dumbles that not only did you allow Harry to go to an orphanage, but you let him speak to the goblins? Do you know how much you've pissed them off? Whilst there we found out I was the heir to quite a few families such as a founder or two which I could claim easily since their family magic accepted me instantly. Well mostly, the Le Fay ring wouldn't accept you without changing your gender. Which is why I gave it to you Blaise. Shame really, you would have looked cute as a girl and you know I'm not picky… Moving on, I'm sure at least one of you has worked out the only way I could give Blaise the Le Fay ring was either to adopt her as my sister or marry her, try to guess which one we did. Like they'd ever work it out, we got married, surprised? It really wasn't hard, given that we were so close, our magic had already bonded us together long ago, and marriage was just a formality.

In short we're free of you completely and have discarded our old families, neither has any desire to even step foot in Hogwarts as long as the Light Lord resides there and we are happily on a beach somewhere. Did you know you could use the Fidelius on an entire beach, because we didn't?

Also Albus you picked wrong. I bet you've had your doubts, but we know the prophecy and I never plan to let Harry anywhere near that fool of a Dark Lord. She'd cripple me if I even suggested it just so you know.

So goodbye forever, have fun.

Harry Regulus Slytherin-Ravenclaw-Le Fay-Pendragon

Blaise Annabelle Slytherin-Ravenclaw-Le Fay-Pendragon