Everyone gets a second chance
None of the character mentioned in the below work of fiction belong to me in any shape or form. I am merely using them for my own entertainment purposes.
So its ' Everyone gets a second chance' turn to go through the intense reediting stage which several of my other stories has gone through, I know it slows the updates down as a whole but I feel its worth it. Once they have all been done then each and every story will be exactly where I want it to be which will make updating them a great deal easier. So a pain in the short term but definitely worth it in the long term.
So enjoy the new and improved chapter one
Human A/U - Castiel is pretty sure he's going crazy. At least he thinks he is, Dean is gone and yet Castiel is hearing his voice and seeing him in his dreams, only now Sam is experiencing the same thing and they can't both be going crazy can they? Castiel and Sam are determined to figure out what is going on before they lose Dean and their sanity for real.
Castiel decides that its time to put his plan into motion…
Castiel Novak/ Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester/Anna Milton
Mentions of Castiel Novak/Dean Winchester
It's finally time
"Castiel, don't you think that this had gone on long enough now?" Castiel Milton's shoulders tensed up at the concerned words, he bit down hard on the inside of his cheeks, focusing his eyes on his half eaten bagel which he didn't even want as though it held all the answers in the universe.
"I don't know what you're talking about" he answered stubbornly. He could hear Michael sigh across the table from him, could already picture in his head the way his eldest brother would be reaching up and rubbing at the bridge of his nose, dark blue eyes raised to the ceiling as though he was asking for some sort of heavenly intervention to help him deal with one of his unruly siblings.
"You're not stupid Castiel, so stop acting as though you are, you know exactly what I'm talking about" Michael replied sounding frustrated. Castiel risked a glance up, wincing when he saw the look of pity and helplessness on the older man's face as he watched him. "Castiel you're gonna have to talk about him and what happened to him sometime. I don't care if you talk to me or to one of the others or even to a complete stranger. You just got to let it out, it's not healthy to keep things like this bottled up and it's definitely not what Dean would have wanted you to do. Dean would have-"
"Don't" Castiel warned, his voice shaking slightly as he met Michael's eyes. He lifted one hand up, pointing an unsteady finger at his brother. "You don't get to do this speech, you didn't even know him Michael, you were away the whole time and you can't just walk back into our lives, into my life and expect me to fall back in line. Dean is not a topic that you and I will ever speak of again, you understand?" he demanded, his voice rising with every word.
"Castiel? I-"Michael began to say, a stricken tone to his voice
"I said don't Michael" Castiel snapped back stopping Michael's words in their tracks
Castiel shook his head and jumped down from the stool which surrounded Michael's breakfast table. He swiftly gathered his coat and bag together trying to focus on keeping his breathing steady and his facial expression blank. The last thing he wanted was for Michael to realise how much his words had got to him.
The need to be out of Michael's perfect kitchen situated in his perfect house while his perfect wife and perfect children were somewhere in one of the other rooms overwhelmed him. He should never have allowed himself to be talked into coming for breakfast in the first place. He should have known that Michael would have had a reason behind the invitation, the same way he always did. Castiel knew that he was probably being harsh on his brother but he couldn't handle seeing how wonderful Michael's life had turned out while his had burned to ashes around him.
"Castiel" Michael said, coming to his feet in a swift movement, he was around the counter before Castiel had time to blink, his hand reaching out and grabbing Castiel's arm, the finger tips digging lightly into his skin as he stared at Castiel. "I'm sorry okay, I'm just worried about you, we all are. If you'd just listen to me for once, I can-"
"What help?" Castiel remarked with a bitter laugh as he wrenched his arm from Michael's grip. "Why can you bring the dead back to life now Michael? I knew you were talented but I didn't realise you were quite that blessed" he stated resentfully, he shook his head when he saw the pained expression which came to Michael's face at his words. "Look I'll call you later Michael, I've got work and I'll be late if I don't hurry. Thanks for the bagel."
Castiel turned and quickly left the room, thankful that Michael didn't attempt to follow him. He walked down the long hallway and slipped out of the front door into the fresh autumn air. The smells and sights should have been enough to relax him, the same way they had always done in the past when he had been upset, but all they were to him now was a sharp reminder of what he had lost and could never have back.
He swallowed, walking down the busy street, his mind fixed firmly away from the present and in the past, a past where he had been ridiculously happy because Dean had still been with him. Dean who had loved the autumn stating it was his favourite season of the year though he was never able to give a reason why that was, whenever Castiel had asked him why, Dean would simply smile at him and wink, reminding him that if he told Castiel everything about him self then Castiel would get bored and leave him. Castiel would always grin, pulling the younger man into a kiss as he reminded him for the hundredth time that there was no way in hell that he was leaving him.
It hadn't been anything new though; Dean rarely gave reasons for any statement he made. Sometimes when Castiel really pushed him for one he would eventually give him the same reason why regardless of the topic. He would meet Castiel's eyes with a steady look as though he was trying to figure him out before a wide smile would cover those kissable lips. He would shrug, reached out and touch a part of Castiel's face or neck and state that he believed it because it felt right to him.
The same way that it had felt right for Dean to quit his job as a mechanic to joined the armed services and become a Navy Seal.
The same way that it had felt right to Dean to leave them all behind and to go abroad to defend his country against their enemies when they had been crying out for men like him to fight for them.
The same way it had felt right for Dean to raise his brother alone when his mother and a few years later his father had died. Dean had been fourteen at the time, Castiel still didn't know how Dean had managed it and kept it a secret from the authorities but somehow he had because he had put his mind to it, the same way he had put Sam through college with no help from anyone.
And then of course there was the fact that it had seemed right to Dean when he had entered Castiel's bleak life and brightened it, to steal Castiel heart and soul for himself, taking them safety into his keeping so Castiel was ruined for anyone else. There could be no one else for him but Dean because no one else, even now, existed for him.
Castiel had been at home when Sam had come round to tell him that he had just received a visit from the army telling him that Dean was missing, presumed dead in Afghanistan. He had wanted to kill those army men that they had gone to Sam instead of him, he was the one who had lived with Dean the past six years, he was the one who had shared his life with Dean, he was the one who shared Dean's bed and body every night that Dean was home with them and yet that had meant nothing because they weren't married.
Sam had been a state, the amusing friendly man who was always so in control of his emotion who Castiel had met in the past gone in a fit of rage and grief which seemed to come out of every pore. The younger man screaming his woe to the world until his voice had eventually given out from the strain leaving him a crying heap on the sofa. Castiel had stood watching him blankly, he wanted to comfort Sam, wrap his arm around the taller man and hum him a lullaby at him the same way Dean had done when Sam had been hurt but he couldn't move. All he could do was stare at his love's younger brother and wish with every fibre of his body that it had been Sam who was missing or dead rather then Dean.
He had been instantly horrified by the thought but it had dug itself into his mind, constantly taunting him into questioning why everyone else was still here and happy and yet Dean was gone. How could they not feel it in the air? How could they smile and laugh? God he hated each and every one of them with a passion he didn't know he had possessed.
Castiel couldn't deal with it. Six months of crippling grief and pain had changed him. He could see the concern in the faces of his siblings, he could see the worry in Sam's face on the few times he had seen him but he simply ignored them all. How could they possibly understand how he felt? None of them had, had their soul mate handed to them, none of them had experienced what it felt to have that man's undying love and devotion focused on them, None of them had experienced the same level of love he had felt for Dean only to have it all ripped away from him in one small sentence. He could still hear Sam's voice echoing around his head.
He's gone Cas, They say that Dean is probably dead, he's fucking gone
Everything ceased to exist for him that day. He had spent his time planning carefully. He was going to move away from the constant memories; he would get away from the people who watched him daily wondering whether this would be the day that Castiel Milton lost his mind. Castiel would never give them the satisfaction of knowing just how deep his grief ran, they didn't need to know how shattered his soul and heart were inside him. Castiel would be strong the way that Dean would have wanted him to be.
All that was left to do now was to finally put his plan into motion.
It's what Dean would have wanted.
Thanks for taking the time to read :)