Wasn't a Lie
I saw a body- one that I had committed to memory- round the dark corner, headed for the hospital.
"Going somewhere?" I asked, my voice rough. Without Melanie, life was close to unbearable. If Jamie wasn't here, I don't think I would have held on this long. Wanda jumped at my voice. "Sorry!" I reassured her. My hands flew to her shoulders. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."
"What are you doing here?" Wanda said, breathlessly. Melanie would have been fierce, probably would have punched me.
"Following you." She wanted more of an explanation, "I've been following you all night," I admitted, my hands still on her shoulders.
"Well, stop it now." She slipped away from my arms, but my hand caught her wrist. I held it tightly.
"You're going to see Doc?" Melanie.
"Of course I am." I could make out a hint of panic clinging to her words. "What else can I do after today?" There was desperation in her voice. Melanie's voice. "It's not going to get any better, and this isn't Jeb's decision to make."
"I know. I'm on your side." I regretted the choice of words right when they left my mouth, hurt registers on her face. Did you think for one moment what you must have done to her? Ian's voice echoes in my mind. Talking to Wanda was like talking to Melanie, but the silver in her eyes reminded me that they took her away. I need to push Melanie away, just for now.
"Then let me go, Jared. Go away. I want to be alone." She said the words hard, like a hammer against a nail.
"I should come with you," I reasoned.
"You'll have Melanie back soon enough," she snapped. "I'm only asking for a few minutes, Jared. Give me that much." I let my mouth drop open.
"Wanda, I would come to be with you," I say after a pause. I can just make out tears fresh on her face.
"It wouldn't feel that way," her words were quieter,now, but with the same amount of hardness. "So there's no point."
I shoved the thought of getting Melanie back down my throat. Would I really sacrifice Wanda for Melanie? Of course I would, my answer comes out faster than expected. I had already made that clear with Mel. But Wanda, innocent Wanda. My perspective on souls has changed since she came here, brought Melanie back to me and Jamie.
"But Wanda, I..." My voice trailer away. "There's so much that I need to say to you," I admitted.
"I don't want your gratitude, Jared. Trust me on that." I could tell she used the harsh words to hold herself together.
"What do you want?" My voice was strained, barely above a whisper. "I would give you anything."
"Take care of my family," she answered grimly. "Don't let the others kill them."
"Of course I'll take care of them." Of course I would. For her. "I meant you. What can I give you?"
"I can't take anything with me, Jared."
"Not even a memory, Wanda? What do you want?" I asked, my voice choked and strained. I saw her reach up to brush the tears away; they were coming faster now. "What can I give you, Wanda?" I pushed. Wanda gulped in air.
"Give me a lie, Jared." She tried to keep her voice steady. "Tell me you want me to stay." Before the words were even out of her mouth, I wound my arms around her, holding her securely against my chest. I recall a memory of Wanda confirming Melanie feels what Wanda feels. It must be ripping her apart. I kissed her forehead, breathing against her hair.
"Stay here, Wanda. With us. With me." There was a urgency in my voice, one that I didn't intend to be there. "I don't want you to go. Please. I can't imagine having you gone. I can't see that. I don't know how to... how to..." My voice broke. Why? I would have Melanie in just a few minutes, so why am I feeling a hole open up in my chest?
"Thank you," Wanda pulled away. I held her more tightly, more sure.
"I'm not done." My voice was rough. I kissed her; I kissed Wanda. Trying desperately to make her understand. I gasped her name, hungry for more than air.
What have I done?
"Thank you," Wanda breathed as she pulled away.
"Wait..." She's leaving. Leaving this world, leaving everyone she loves behind.
"I can't. I can't... bear any more. Okay?" Ian's statement burns in my mind again.
"Okay," I whispered.
"I just want one more thing. Let me do this alone. Please?" She asked, desperate.
"If... if you're sure that's what you want..." I trailed off, unsure. I had to choose, and it was the worst decision ever. Melanie at Wanda's expense. Wanda at Melanie's expense.
"It's what I need, Jared."
"Then I'll stay here," I said hoarsely, my arms still locked around Wanda. My palms started sweating. Was it wrong to be nervous and anxious for Melanie's return?
"You know Ian is going to try to kill me for letting you do this? Maybe I should let him," I tried to imply what I knew was true but still denied. "And Jamie. He'll never forgive either of us."
"I can't think about them right now. Please. Let me go." I slowly let my arms slide away.
"I love you, Wanda." There was nothing unsure in my voice. She sighed.
"Thanks, Jared. You know how much I love you. With my whole heart." This was cruel. What I was doing is cruel. "What happens here when it rains, Jared?" She whispered. "Where do people sleep?"
"We..." Tears choked off my words. I tried to swallow them down. "We all move into the game room. Everyone sleeps in there together." I could make out her eyes filled with wonder and tears and fear. "Why?" I whispered.
"I just wanted to... imagine. How it will be." She wouldn't be here to experience it. "Goodbye, Jared. Mel says she'll see you soon."
"Wait... Wanda..." She hurried off down the tunnel. "It wasn't. Wasn't a lie," I whispered, sure she couldn't hear me. "Shit," I curse under my breath through the tears.
I waited outside Doc's, longer than I had planned to. I burst through the doors, a hard look on my face.
"Doc," I barked, picking up a knife. "She's not leaving the planet," I said, making it clear I would put this knife through him if it came down to that.
"She never intended for that to happen." There were tears on his face.
"She wanted to be buried here. Here with Walter and Wes," he choked out.
"That's not going to happen," I say slowly. "We're going to... going to get her another host. She'll be fine. Wana will be fine."
"She didn't want that," he whispered. "She doesn't want to be a parasite anymore. Don't you see?"
"We'll make sure the human's gone. We will. Good and gone, just her in there."
Ian shoved the door open, his face matching his temper.
"You." He spat the word at me. I opened my mouth but was cut off by his broken and strained voice. "You let her do this? You let her leave me?" He asked, in shock. I stared at him, my mouth hanging open.
My eyes flew towards the motion on my cot. Her eyes flew open, no trace of silver.
"Melanie," I whispered.
Requested by someone on tumblr
This was hard to write because Jared's character is complex and complicated so idk if I portrayed him right.
Please review, pm me, or message me on tumblr your comments, I would love to know what you think. :)