Note: A PWP gone awry. I fangirlled it to the wall. OOCs, AU.
Moony was angry with me. In fact, he was more irked with me than ever before. His pale, thin cheeks were flushed red. His thatch of sandy brown hair was sticking up in a few places. He kept running his hands through that long mane of hair. Moony had smaller hands than me. I knew in my head that if I held one of them with mine, it would be nearly swallowed out of view. I watched him flutter about the dormitory in a fussy rage that Prongs and I called WPMS. Wolf pre-moon syndrome. Remus was always in a horrible temper the last few days before that time of the month. It would have been downright obnoxious if I didn't find it so overwhelmingly adorable. Most of the time he would holler on about how James and I were dreadful students, even though neither of us did too bad come exam times. Moony just loved studying and reading dusty old books and had no idea why Prongs and I would rather play a round of Gobstones with the Dark Lord instead of re-reading Theories of Transubstantial Transfiguration.
Prongs had no trouble tuning Remus out every time he went around the twist about something stupid, like grades. Peter couldn't handle the lectures, poor thing. He always promised Moony he'd try harder or whatever. Meanwhile two days later he's following me and James around while Remus shuts himself up in Gryffindor tower pouring over two years of notes before our exams were set to begin. Even I usually had no problem pretending to listen to my cute, but enraged friend critique my studying habits. I would silently excuse Remus, blaming his attitude entirely on the approaching full moon.
However, sometimes words can cut as deep as any curse. I usually didn't fill Moony in on all the certain, er, escapades I had experienced while dating a select number of Hogwarts' female students. I just figured he wasn't as interested in that kind of thing, like Prongs and Wormtail were. I just assumed he tuned it out most of the time. Then, suddenly, after one random story about Veronica Quincey and our nights in the Astronomy Tower, I found myself sitting on my bed getting the third degree from one of my supposed best friends.
"That stuff you did with Veronica. Was it...true?" Remus asked me from his seat beside the window. I could hear other, happier students having fun out on the grounds.
"Course'. I don't lie to you guys," I shrugged. It seemed so...unimportant.
Remus looked instantly uncomfortable. His arms were pulled tight in against his chest, his golden eyes peering over at me from the tops of his knees.
"What...?" I chuckled.
"Nothing...just...how can you sleep with someone different all the time?"
I blinked at him. Remus, who had known me for so long, was acting as though my behaviour was coming as a total shock.
"Moony, its just fun. They know that."
"All of them?"
"Well," I inhaled sharply, unable to meet his distrustful gaze, "...no."
He grunted in what seemed like satisfaction. That sparked me a little, to know that he was openly judging me.
"You can't just going around using people as you see fit. People do have feelings, Padfoot. Even if you don't."
That was low. I rose my eyes to meet his and shook my head. "You are getting on my nerves, Moony."
My words were all he needed to hear before going off the handle. Remus liked to beat around the bush before he ever said what he actually meant. I saw that he wasn't just annoyed or disappointed in me this time. There was hurt lurking in his voice. I felt instantly guilty, but I couldn't be fooled, either. Moony often played the wounded card against me and Prongs to get us to stop doing whatever it was that was bothering him or getting us all in trouble.
"Just answer me something, Pad. How can you do it without it meaning anything? Really, I would like to know."
Remus stared at me expectantly. I didn't have an answer. Not at all. It was just how I was, and that was simply the end of it. I stood up out of lack of something to say and paced the room.
"Why...why do you care, hm? Did I screw someone you had a hard on for- oh wait, it wouldn't matter would it, Moony? You haven't even got the courage to ask a girl out for shit's sake,"
I saw him rise in my peripherals. He looked so tired, and just worn out. He always looked like that. Sometimes when he would get really dusted, like he just wanted to faint, he would let me hold him. It was always at night when things were the most quiet. It wasn't consistent nor was it something we discussed. Remus was closest to me out of the three of us. Even when he was a wolf he preferred playing around with my canine form instead of Peter's rat and James's stag.
"I know why you act like you do, Sirius." Remus sounded dark as though beneath it all he was seething. It was so surprising I spun around to see him getting closer to where I stood. "You act like that because its easy. Schools too hard, so you and Prongs cheat and charm your way through. Family was too hard, so you ran off to your Uncle's and then, surprise, to James's. And Merlin forbid- relationships are too hard, so you fuck whatever will stand still long enough."
When Remus finished he was standing right in front of me. He was several inches shorter, but he stared up at me defiantly, as if daring me to yell, or even hit him. What he was saying hurt so bad that anger quickly swallowed any shameful feelings that tried to surface.
"Do you ever actually accomplish anything that requires effort, Padfoot?" Remus asked in that same, accusatory tone.
"You want effort? Okay, I have a real winner for you, my friend. You are so pent up about being a virgin, but you never take it out on Prongs. Why me, hm? No one else will say it to your face, Moony, but I will since you asked me so nicely. I know you have some sort of sick, twisted obsession with me. You never ask any girls out because you're in love with me,"
The nasty look tainting my best friend's face fell instantly away. I knew it was a mistake the moment it left my mouth. Moony wasn't feigning hurt, he really was hurt, and what I had blurted out had just confirmed his fears. He made for the door immediately. I sprinted after him, pinning his small frame up against the stone wall. Remus let out a dog like yelp and squirmed against my hold.
"Let me...go...let me go!"
"I can't." I whispered into the back of his neck. "I'm sorry Moony, I'm reall-,"
"SHUT..SHUT UP! You fucking BASTARD, lettgo of me!" he screamed and thrashed against his restraint.
I pushed him tighter, holding him even closer. "I didn't mean for it to sound like that...you were pushing my buttons, Moony."
"You are such an arse, I fucking hate you! I hate you Sirius, I fucking mwphaer-," Remus's lips kissed the wall and the rest of his words died away.
"You wanted me to give an effort, right? To really try hard and put meaning into something?" I said it very fast and shallow into the still-squirming Remus's ear. "I put all of that power into pretending like I know about you, know what you think about me, and I try to act like I don't care. I do, though,"
It was nearly impossible for me to admit that confession. How an innocent conversation had turned into such a battle still had me reeling. But Moony was barely struggling against my hold after I had admitted my secret. I let his lips come free from the wall and heard his ragged breaths.
"Course' I do." I spun the brunette around so I could see his darling, flushed face.
A warm breeze had drifted in from the open window. Exams would soon be over, and we would be leaving school. So many things were changing and I hadn't realized how quickly. I looked over his face, wanting him to just look back at me too.
"I don't fucking hate you, Padfoot." Remus said, his voice soft and small.
I slid my hand beneath his chin and tilted his head back so that he was forced into meeting my eyes. Pressing my forehead lightly to Moony's, I placed my mouth up against his warm cheek. My lips grazed his fine cheekbone, I planted two kisses on his nose, and finished by resting my lips against his slightly red, bitten pair of lips. There was a tiny intake of oxygen, a little gasp, when Remus felt me kissing him. The noise was too intriguing. I let the kiss deepen. I touched the sides of his face with my fingertips, like I had sometimes done while he let me hold him when things had became too tough in the world. They ghosted the edges of his jaw where I pressed down gently near his chin. Remus's lips parted slowly, letting me kiss him deeper, stronger, he let me take him over instantly.
We were pressed against the door to the dormitory. I let my hands slip lower, roaming over his chest. He always wore ridiculously stifling cotton shirts beneath his robes. At least, I found them ridiculous. Even in June, Remus always wore his Gryffindor tie. I yanked it down, unraveling it from his neck. Remus gave an involuntary jerk, as if to stop me. I glanced into his golden eyes, silently seeking permission that the insane things we were doing were okay. There was no question or confusion in his gaze on me. He looked intrigued. Excited. He kept biting into his lip so hard every time I moved my mouth somewhere new on his neck that it started to bleed. I licked it, kissing him again as I put my hands inside his shirt. His school robes were already a black pool on the dormitory floor. I pulled his shirt off by tugging it down his arms, deferring any protests by attacking a particularly sensitive area behind his right ear with my teeth.
Part of me always knew that Moony and I were meant to end up together. From the first time he had crawled into my bed, feverish from the approaching moon, he had become mine. All the silly affairs with girls had been just a way to waste time. None of them could compare to Remus, a fact that I knew he would never justify.
"Sirius..." muttered a soft whisper into my hair. My mouth was still attached to his neck.
"Let's move away from the door?"
I kissed the small dark bruises I had imprinted on his skin before meeting Remus's eyes. The sun had begun to set on Hogwarts, the pink and orange light that filtered in from the window gave him an otherworldly glow. I nodded, sliding my fingers into his belt loops and forcibly pressing his hips up against my own body. Another gasp, and then I was rewarded a blush and something hard digging into my leg. I tugged Remus with me, he was limp and followed me staggering as we fell into my unmade bed. He looked too perfect sitting on top of me. After dealing with too many loose girls who had no shame in mounting me like a fucking horse, seeing an unsure Moony wiggle awkwardly into a comfortable position was highly...stimulating. I wanted to push him further outside of his comfort level. Reaching across my chest I started to rub my hand against his crotch, which wasn't weird. I mean, I had never touched another bloke like that before. I had never wanted to, although the idea had crossed my mind a few times. Not that I had ever shared that thought out loud. It wasn't like James would understand, and Peter would probably throw an over-dramatic fit. I felt Remus's cock over his trousers, stroking it against the tough fabric. His small pink blush had blossomed into scarlet blotches on both of his cheeks. I knew no one else had ever touched him before, and that just made it better. The mere idea of anyone else touching Moony had always incensed a strong feeling of hatred in me.
After a few minutes of this exploratory, homosexual activity, it was Remus who became impatient, not myself. He started to squirm up against my lap. I stopped groping at his swelling erection and instead tugged down his zipper. He stopped moving around, making me look up curiously.
Moony, still blushing without meeting my eyes, unbuttoned his black trousers and pushed them down his slender thighs. Even though seeing him nearly naked was perhaps nothing new, it had suddenly become impossibly exciting. I sat up a bit, keeping him still in my lap. I watched as he tugged his cock free of the last of the oppressive fabric. The way he wouldn't quite look at me, the way I could hear him breathing so softly as if he were trying to hide in plain sight, it was all irresistible. I caught his lips, kissing him in what I could have only hoped seemed reassuring. Remus wouldn't let me stop kissing him, even when I took his hard prick into my palm. I reached up and tugged my bed curtains closed. I kept Moony against me, rocking him forward to slide the rest of his perfect body out of his clothes. He was naked and although he knew it of course, I wasn't going to let him feel shy or stupid in front of me.
He fell back forward into me, uttering soft, pleasant sounds into my mouth as my hand pumped his cock. I reached behind him and grasped his rear end, squeezing and groping and feeling every inch of flesh I could touch. When Remus finally stopped kissing me, he sat back a little to watch the activity that had been going on in my hands. The scarlet blush was back, creeping its way up his pale neck. I didn't want the feeling between us to come to an end, especially not in my palm. I stopped jerking his prick and pulled my own shirt over my head. Remus surprised me again by unzipping my trousers and pulling them down. His small, rough hands slid over my bare chest in intrigue. I felt my eyes close as his lips kissed an inch below where my heart was beating. And then he kept kissing my skin, dotting my torso with small little bite marks until he reached my stomach. One of my eyes fluttered open just as Remus slid the tip of my cock from my pants and pressed it to his lips. A warm sensation spread all the way up my skin.
"Moony you don't have to do that," I whispered into the purple glow of twilight. Remus had seemed innocent at sunset, but his excitement had turned him into this new, erotic creature that was just as, if not more, attractive.
He didn't answer me verbally. I felt my trousers slide down my legs and heard them hit the floor somewhere. A second later my prick was being licked from the wet tip to my balls, which Remus kissed and swallowed in turn. My hands found his soft mane of sandy colored hair. I hadn't ever noticed before how soft it was. I tugged on it, pushing his head down against my lap as his throat took my cock again and again. The sounds we were making were so loud and obvious, I was surprised half the house wasn't up knocking at the closed door. The risk actually made it twice as thrilling. Why should I have gave a fuck anyway? Term would be over in three days. I didn't have anything left to impress anyone. Moony's imperfect, inexperienced, glorious way of sucking my prick would win out any day.
He sat up after awhile, a string of saliva mixed with my pre-cum stuck to his bottom lip and chin. He was panting softly, his cock not as hard as before but still perked up. I made to kiss the wetness off his lip but stopped myself. What if he found that strange? I had never second guessed myself before when it had come to sex. Leave it to Remus to change my old routine. But he was watching me with those golden eyes that glowed in the dark. I licked the saliva off his lips, kissing them.
"I didn't do very well, did I Padfoot?" his delicate, unsure voice whispered against my face.
"Moony you are perfect. So shut up," I smirked, holding his hips in my hands. I pulled him against me, sliding my prick against his thigh.
"Sirius!" he half-moaned, half-whisper shouted.
"C'mon Moony. I'm going to show you what a good effort I can make,"
I didn't mean to sound so dark when I said it, but his eyes had widened in such surprise that it was nearly worth the mistake. I could have fucked around with touching him, feeling him inside and out with my fingers, maybe even my tongue if I felt curious enough. But there would be eons of time where I could lay around and touch every possible, reachable inch of Remus Lupin. I wanted to give him a rush; a losing your virginity story that he could look back on and wank in the shower about. I grabbed for my wand in the darkness and found it hiding under my pillow. I muttered a spell a seventh year girl had taught me two years prior. A warm, soft gel splat into my hand and I rubbed it all over my cock. I put some in Remus's hand too, making him touch between his own cheeks and massage his virgin entrance. He kept muttering my name under his breath mixed with a beautiful string of obscenities.
"I don't care if it...hurts." Moony said softly, pressing his arse up against my slick, lubricated cock.
"I do. I won't make it too bad, love," I bit into his right cheek as I pushed inside of him.
I wasn't expecting such a groan of pain from Remus. I couldn't imagine having a cock inside my own arse, but I figured it couldn't be too pleasant at first. Of course, the idea of Moony putting his cock inside my arse was a pretty tempting picture...
"It...umph...push deeper, Padfoot,"
I dug my fingers into the globes of his rear end, pushing him down further onto my cock. I couldn't stop myself from starting to thrust inside Moony, the warm tight ball in my abdomen pushed me teetering over the edge. I heard gasps, grunts and moans ringing inside my ears. Some of them were mine, but the best ones came out of Remus. I heard my name being screamed, sharp and whisper loud. He interchanged it, calling me Padfoot too, but I liked it better when he called me Sirius. I pushed myself deeper inside his tight arse, touching gently against his sensitive prostrate, which resulted in the best moans I had ever heard in my whole life.
"Remus...Moony..." I was shocked to hear how hoarse I sounded. "I love you,"
As unfamiliar the phrase felt in my mouth, it sounded pretty amazing when it hit the air.
Remus came right after that moment, his seed wet against our abdomens. I gripped tight on his arse, pinning him against me as I fucked his rear as hard as I possibly could fathom. Sounds of pleasure mixed with pain melted against my left earlobe. I came harder than he did, filling his arse and pulling out so it dripped slowly between his thighs.
The smell of sex hovered over my bed and mixed with the musky smell of our dorm. I held him tight beneath a sheet. The afterglow suited Moony perfectly; his face looked as though he were coming down after a powerful high.
"Padfoot?" his voice was stronger in the dark.
"I'm sorry...about what I said. And, I love you too."
"I know that Moony. You never have to say it."
His lips, cracked and dry from prior bleeding and kissing, pecked the side of my face and up against my eyelashes.
"Sooo...what do you have to say about my effort, now?" I teased after a few moments of pleasurable silence. I could faintly hear James shouting about something in the common room.
"Shut up, Padfoot." And he flicked above my chest with with fingertips.