I Don't Get Paid Enough For This Shit

Chapter 1: Installation 00

A short shriek pierced the silent room. All three of us turned around to find Johnson lying on the floor. 343 Guilty Spark's eye was crimson red. The Arbiter, John and I aimed our weapons at the monitor as he turned towards us.

"Unacceptable," The Forerunner AI shouted. "Unacceptable, absolutely unacceptable!"

John began running at the AI, who fired its laser at the charging Spartan. I ducked under John and fired a few rounds out of my BR55HB Battle Rifle. The bullets weren't doing as much as scratching the floating orb.

"Protocol dictates action! I now see that helping you is wrong!" Guilty Spark fired at the Arbiter, who too was sent flying backwards. I threw down a Covenant Bubble Shield at John and shielded both of us from the rogue AI's laser. The Master Chief got up, slowly approaching the monitor who floated outside the shield.

"You are the child of my makers, inheritor of all they left behind! You are Forerunner, but this ring is mine." He said. I threw my strongest Spartan punch at the orb and pulled John back, away from the AI.

"He's mine." I said, reloading my Battle Rifle.

"Not without me."

"Yes, without you, John." I made a loud enough scoff for him to hear. I smiled under my helmet and turned towards 343 Guilty Spark.

"I take no pleasure in doing what must be done." He said, floating back towards me.

"Have at you." I muttered and withdrew a shotgun from my back, firing at the monitor, who, once again, wasn't harmed in any sort of way. I gritted my teeth and raised both weapons. This is the most impractical duel wield ever, of all time. I fired the shotgun and the Battle Rifle. I flipped the shotgun and pumped it, rinse and repeat. Spark fired his eye laser at me; I wasn't able to dodge it in time and got hit by the blast, dead center. I held my ground but my shield generator was nearly fried.

"You do not deserve this ring!" He shouted, firing another laser at me and pushing me back with a repulsion field. Two carbine shots bounced off the monitor. 343 turned towards the Arbiter, who was still firing his Carbine. The AI fired a beam at the Arbiter who lay against the wall, protecting himself.

"I have kept it safe, it belongs to me!"

"Not for long..." Johnson muttered and fired his laser before dropping it. The Forerunner AI was thrown out of sight and John took the chance to charge towards Johnson who handed him the M6 Grindell/Galilean Nonlinear Rifle or the Spartan Laser.

"Kick his ass." John nodded and turned towards 343 who floated up at the edge of the platform. He charged the laser and fired.

"Duh-ne ne nuh- not destroy your inheritance!" The attack was super effective! The AI had flames bursting from out its body. John charged the laser up again and fired.

The AI muttered shouted something but was a mix of random gibberish and unintelligible pleading. The Master Chief finished the AI off, firing one final burst out of his laser. The AI began to go critical. He shouted some more gibberish before exploding into azure flames. I noticed the AI, partially intact, fall down the chasm. We all walked towards Johnson. Spartan-117 dropped the Laser and knelt besides the dying Sergeant Major.

"I'm taking you back, alive."

"Don't be a fool, Chief. You know this is the end." He coughed. The sergeant handed him Cortana's AI Chip.

"Don't let her go. Don't you dare ever lose her again." Johnson muttered. He collapsed with a smile on his face and his eyes closed.

"Sergeant Major Avery Johnson is dead, killed in action by rogue Forerunner Artificial Intelligence, 343 Guilty Spark Monitor of Installation-04 and Installation-04B." I announced, grabbing the dog tags off his neck and slugging his body over my shoulder. John walked towards the control panel and held the AI chip near it. Cortana's manifestation jumped into the Ark's systems and began the firing procedures before jumping back. Master Chief Petty Officer Spartan-117 turned around, a beam of light shot out from behind him.

He walked past me, grabbing the BR55HB-SR that was securely placed on his back and walked over to Johnson's Spartan Laser, picking it up and placing it on the magnetic pads on his back. The Spartan reloaded his weapon and pulled the hammer of the chamber, loading the first round.

"What are you standing there for, let's bolt." John barked. I smirked under my helmet and the Arbiter's throat rumbled. We both turned around, my Mark V MJOLNIR armor blended in well with the dark. It was colored black and its secondary color was red. My visor was a darker orange color. I reloaded my shotgun and placed my own Battle Rifle on my back.

"Let's dance." I hissed as the large Forerunner sliding doors opened up, the Flood, flooded in. Oh dear god, that was bad. We all started to sprint towards the exit. I took the front-most position, clearing away most of the Flood Combat Forms. The Elite beside me finished off any stranglers and John was killing the Flood Carrier Forms, picking them off from a safe distance. The Carriers usually exploded nearby Combat and Infection forms, saving me the time of killing them. A Combat Form threw himself at me. I grunted, lowering my body and smacking my shoulder against the creature. It took away a quarter of my shields however and I was only one shot away from reloading. I quickly placed a hand on Johnson's body and pulled him back up onto my shoulder.

I grimaced, tucking the M90 Close Assault Weapons System under my arm and grabbing a hand full of shells from my Mark V pouch, reloading as I grabbed the M6D PDWS Magnum Pistol from my thigh and shot down any Flood Combat Form charging towards me. The Magnum clicked, the magazine was empty. Just in time as well, I tossed the M90 Shotgun forward, the force of the throw tore off a bit of a falling dead Combat Form's shoulder and pumped the shotgun for me. I hoisted my Magnum and pulled the trigger for my M90, killing the Combat Form in front of me.

I pumped the Shotgun once more and kicked an Infected Grunt away from me. As we sprinted outside, there was only one vehicle left there: the Warthog.

"Shotgun!" I called, sprinting for the M12 LRV. I fell however as the upper torso of a Combat Form grabbed my leg and pulled me down. Johnson rolled of my shoulder as Infection forms began to engulf his body. I grunted, shooting the M90 down at my leg and tearing off the Combat Form's arm off. I grabbed the Sergeant Major's hand and pulled him away from the Infection forms. They didn't mind either; the Sergeant had a strange immunity to the Flood. However, their sights were set on me and my shields were nearly depleted as well. I fired the last shot in my gun. The Infection forms exploded like popcorn. I noticed a fallen Marine beside the cliff; the Flood ignored him too. I tossed Johnson towards the Arbiter who grabbed him with one hand and tucked him under his arm.

I reloaded my Shotgun and approached the Marine, pulling the dog tags from his neck. I was surprised to see that there were none, just a large pile of them in his hand. I collected the tags and took a small bit of his hair as well, placing it into a vial that I, for some reason, had on me. Another Flood came up from behind me. I quickly spun around and shot it. The Brute-Flood exploded into pieces, only the lower torso of its body was left. Some of its oily blood splattered the dead marine's corpse and a piece of its arm smashed into the Marine's head.

A rhombus-shaped metallic object fell from his body. I instantly recognized it and picked it up, storing it in my Mark V pouch. Another Flood leaped at me. I grabbed it by the arm and smashed it into the wall, grabbing the other arm and tearing the Human-Flood in half. Seeing as the rest of the horde was deciding to infect me, I sprinted towards the jeep. The Arbiter already took the M41 LAAG and was mowing down Flood Forms everywhere.

"Sonic, get you ass into the Warthog NOW!" Cortana shouted into my audio receptors. I leapt into the passenger's seat; Johnson was on the back, with Arbiter. I began to reload as the Installation exploded around me. I got up from my seat, planting a leg on the edge of the jeep and pushed myself back against the seat. I had a nice vantage point, shooting down any Flood that decided that it wanted to flip the Warthog.

Several minutes later and the Ark began to explode. I mentally commanded my helmet to play the song that was meant to be played at this moment: Warthog Run and began bobbing my head.

"Soldier, what are you doing?" Cortana asked with a hint of curiosity deep within anger and frustration.

"Can't hear you over how awesome this sounds!" I shouted, grinning madly. Cortana hacked into my helmet and played the song on the radio. John began to bob his head as well.

"Oh, not you too!" Cortana whined.

"If I'm going to die here, I'll die listening to good music."

"Die vermin!" Arbiter shouted. I began to laugh manically as well. I was enjoying this way too much. We drifted towards the edge of the platform, where an explosion blasted the side of the vehicle. John's shields took the blunt of the impact and I was relatively fine, but I saw something fall from the corner of my eye. Quickly jerking my head, I saw Johnson fall off the back. Dread seized my heart for an instant, I failed to save him.

"Ninety Percent!" The Computer announced on radio.

"This reminds me of the first Halo ring!" I shouted, killing a Combat Form. I saw the Forward Unto Dawn across the horizon.

"We're not going to make it!"

"Shut up and be more optimistic about it!" I shouted at Cortana as the Warthog leapt into the Dawn's cargo bay.

We were all thrown off the Warthog. I was sent smashing into the treads of a Scorpion MBT. My shields lost a bit of power there. I quickly sprinted towards the closest entrance, but it was blocked by a Warthog. I saw Arbiter on the other side and I nodded at him. He nodded back, subconsciously knowing what to do. I quickly punched the switch to the room's hatch and pulled John up. Artificial Gravity wasn't engaged and we began to fall. I kicked the floor and bounced off. I grabbed John by the hand and activated my magnetic pads on my boots as well, grabbing hold on the floor.

"Heads up!" Cortana announced. We both jerked our heads up and saw the MBT flying towards us. We both ducked our heads and let it soar past us. I saw the Warthog smash against the hatch of the ship's room. John and I began crawling up the hull, towards the hallway. I felt the ship begin to rumble.

"We're entering slipspace!" Cortana shouted. I quickly tried to crawl up the floor in an attempt to rush towards the other half of the ship.

"John, hurry up!" I shouted, grabbing his hand and pulling him up. It was to no anvil however as the ship begun to rumble again and we fell out of slipspace.

"What?" Cortana said in a shocked expression.

"The ship got torn in half during out exit from slipspace. That's the answer to your question." I replied.

"Yeah, that...wait a second, how did you-?" Cortana cut herself off. I've been weird, to them, the past several months.

"Never mind...secrets again?" She asked.

"Again, yes. Let's just go into cryo sleep. Wake us up in the next five or so years." I stated as we now began to float. John activated his booster jetpack. I propelled myself through zero-gravity towards the cryosleep chamber. John placed Cortana's AI Chip into the ship's hologram pedestal. They shared their friend to friend chat as I opened a cryotube hatch and got in, watching them as they talked with each other.

"I'll miss you." Cortana said to the Master Chief. She turned and smirked at me, folding her arms and giving me a sassy look. "And I'll definitely miss you."

I couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or genuine about it. I grinned under my visor and gave her a thumbs-up as the hatch closed above me. I pulled my hand back; the temperature got a colder and colder as time progressed. Frost formed around the glass seal. The chamber began administering sleeping agents into my helmet. My eyes began to get heavy and I let sleep consume me.

Author's Notes:

AND THERE IT IS! Chapter 1 has been reworked. Seeing as people are stopping, presumably from my horrible first chapter, I decided to remake "installation 00". Well, was it good? Was it bad? Should I have kept it? Hell no I shouldn't have kept it! There were so many WTF moments in there and it looked like I was genuinely saying, "MY OC KNOWS EVERYTHING!" or "THIS GUY IS SO NOT SPARTAN!" Or even "WTF CAN HE SEE THE FUTURE!?"

Well, yes, he is Spartan. I'm going to rework the first half of chapter 2 as well so it fits well with this one. Yeah, got that pun I made? Wait, I made another one...

In the original chapter, it was so...out dated by my standards that it looked embarrassing to me. It's roughly the same size as this too and a lot more...vanilla? Idfk. It's a lot more 'bright'. It was less dark than this chapter. Wait a sec...SHIT FORGOT ABOUT JOHNSON! (Really, I just went back and fixed that. Yeah, Johnson fell off the Warthog. The sentence, "We drifted..." is basically my edit.)

Now, about this story:

This is going to be a sure killer for most people out there, BUT, I'm still going to say it.

This PART of the story is not going to have John's POV as much as my OC's, Sonic. Yes, he is, in a way, a self insert. He will be retaining some of my personality in this story, Sonic, and the knowledge of a Spartan. This story will also be vastly different from MOST other crossovers out there.

If you've read my previous chapter 1 which was, BY GOD terrible, you should know that this is just going to be one segment to a saga.

As of the making of this Chapter, in order, I have planned:

1: Infinite Stratos (NOW)
2: Zero No Tsukaima (Familiar of Zero)
3: Black Rock Shooter (Game Verse)
4: Prototype/Infamous (3-way crossover, I've played only the first games btw)
5: Infinite Stratos (AU)
6: Halo! (AU, chapter 7's author's note has a teaser in there. It's in the bold end bit after my 'signature'. End of the 2nd to last paragraph)
8: (Give Me a Suggestion gawddamnit...Dog Days? ._.) - This could possibly be the end of the series. I may make a sequel with enough PMs and begging so I'll leave an open ending for you guys. This is also, talked about in author's note of Chapter 7.

Also, for future readers out there:

Updates will be placed after my signature. A line break will be there to signify the start of the updates. It'll be mainly story edits and grammar checks. For example:


(Date in this format: DD/MM/YYYY. Also, it'll be in south-east Asian time since I live in south east Asia for the moment.)

[The Body of the edit]


Also, here's my PREVIOUS list in the saga:

Infinite Stratos: Realizing main threat
ZnT: Flows with Canon (anime) until the Dragon. The UNSC and Covenant Separatists get extended life-spans and slowed aging.
(Undecided): Yup...
Infinite Stratos (again): They have a better chance against the IS Harem now. Follows canon after the Silver Gospel Incident
Halo AU: Spartans Vs a different kind of super soldier
SAO: After the ALFhiem online incident
HSDxD: AU, different Issei
Halo: Literally Halo 4.
Halo X Everything: Final Boss

I still plan on vaguely following this; maybe SAO will be added, maybe not. It's up to you. Also, the final schedule will not be finalized until we GET to the story. For example, I may add in a brief "World: 1.5" crossover lasting only two or three chapters until I get to ZnT.

Everything is subject to change.

Also, adding this tid-bit in, whatever that means, Sonic is not...normal. I think you'll get the gist of it in later chapters. You don't know the magnitude of it though...unless you've been following me like a stalker. In that case, I highly recommend you DON'T read High School DxD: Parallel Worlds until this story is over (just this one, I'm not going to restrain you for years on end).

Well, thanks. Hopefully this can fix my broken reputation and I will see you next time! In chapter 8. For fuck's sake this its 11:40 PM right now. God damn it, now I'm going to have to start brainstorming WHEN TO FUCKING START THE DAMN CHAPTER! When in doubt, fuck it. I'm starting it with the (SPOILERS) and then going to (SPOILERS) then finally going to (SPOILERS).