A Tormented Beauty

Her beauty long ago had been infamous for a reason. As the fair haired woman looked at her reflection now she saw that that marvelous beauty and radiance had succumbed and withered throughout the few short years since the worst day of her life.

She had been the most beautiful, the most coveted woman in all of Oz in her prime and youth. But right now, Glinda could not see that beautiful woman.

Sitting in a dazzling gown of black the blonde stared at her reflection hatefully.

The frozen orbs of blue in her eyes seemed too harsh for a face like hers, and they never seemed to melt no matter what any person said to her.

Strands of her dim colored blonde hair swayed in her face as she constantly bit on those lips as red as blood. Her complexion had gotten quite… ugly ever since she had stopped caring about appearances.

Long ago when she was Galinda she used to care too much about her appearance. Then that had changed after she had left Shiz and she cared about her appearance for the sake of not revealing her true feelings.

But now she could no longer contain those horrible, heart-wrenching feelings inside of her anymore. They were breaking free one by one.

"Everyone thinks that I have it all," she whispered as her nails dug into the skin of her palms, "But it's so empty living behind these castle walls. These castle walls… If I should tumble if I should fall, would any one hear me screaming behind these castle walls?"

But Glinda knew the answer to that, "There's no one here at all behind these castle walls."

Chuffrey had long ago given up hope for her recovery and the servants were too scared of her to do anything.

So Glinda was basically alone in the lavishly decorated house she called her own. Some say that it was a palace; that it was a great place to live in but Glinda saw it as a prison.

"Nobody knows I'm all alone, living in this castle made of stone. They say that money is freedom but I feel trapped inside it all."

It was true that Glinda had oodles and oodles of money to spend and spare at her free will, but ever since Elphaba's death she had seen no value in the money that she owned. The blonde glanced at the envelopes of all her money that she had requested to be in her room earlier that morning with a slightly unhinged look in her eyes. Grabbing a match she gathered all the envelopes onto the floor and lit them all one by one. Smiling sadistically as they burned the blonde woman only felt slightly better. Smoke and the smell of fire filled her nose as she sat back down.

"And when I sit so high up on the throne I wonder how I can feel this low. On top of the world it's beautiful but there's no place to fall…"

Glinda the Good, the blonde mused over her namesake. It was so fake it sometimes made Glinda laugh when the citizens of Oz called her that. Who were they to judge who was good and who was evil?

At the mention of that Glinda grew sad. Her eyes filled with unshed tears for the millionth time.

Suddenly something inside of Glinda snapped. It was as if all the years of bottling up what had happened to Elphaba and Fiyero had just torn something inside of her. She felt her heart break slowly, thread by thread as her feelings changed.

Suddenly Glinda was disgusted with herself and the life she led. She was disgusted how she could keep pretending to be someone she was not, how she kept lying about herself and who her friends were. Where had that gotten her? Now Glinda was the only one left alive from her group of college friends.

Elphaba, Fiyero, and Nessa were all dead. Boq had gone missing, and everyone else refused to talk to the good witch.

Trembling gasps were heard from the woman as she buried her face in her arms and began to sob uncontrollably. No one understood what she had gone through, and what she had kept buried inside. She had promised Elphaba that she would never tell, but it was the keeping of that secret that was driving Glinda slowly into madness.

She had no one to talk to, no one who would listen. Her friends were all dead. Glinda saw no meaning in her life, no tomorrow to keep looking forward to.

After some time she stopped crying, her heart was broken beyond repair and her mind was far from being called stable. On her face slithered a trembling, mad smile as she began to laugh and shriek at the same time. She had decided that she was done with being called beautiful and that she never again would be called Glinda the Good.

Gripping the points of the diamonds in her tiara with her hands, she wretched the damn headpiece out of her hair and smashed it on the floor. She ripped off her fake nails, nearly tearing off her real nails in the process. Her hands madly clutched and tore at the fabric of her dress until it looked like she was wearing rags. Her chest rose and fell rapidly as she stood up to assess the damage done to herself. Her dress looked like it was about to fall apart, like pieces of the night sky flying in the wind. Her nails were bleeding and her hair was slightly messed up.

Determining that she was not satisfied with herself, Glinda grabbed an old pair of scissors from her drawer and began to make uneven cuts to her golden hair. After her hair looked like it had been eaten by something, the blonde ran her bleeding fingers down the sides of her own face. Crimson lines trickled down her porcelain face and Glinda let out a hysterical laugh.

It was just so unfair that after numerous attempts to kill herself that Glinda could never actually go through with it, and her friends had all died at the hands of someone else. Glinda briefly wished that one day someone would shoot her, or beat her to death. It would be a blessing to be dead than to live another day in a lie.

Stepping over the now charred ashes of her money Glinda made her way to her mirror. She ignored the yells from her servants who were unsuccessfully trying to get the door opened even though Glinda had locked it hours earlier. Dragging her forefinger across the glass Glinda suddenly wanted to feel pain. She wanted to scream in agony and finally die. There was nothing keeping her here, no one to persuade her otherwise. Her parents had given up on her long ago, and so had her husband. The citizens of Oz seemed more afraid of her now than they ever had. And then the fact that all of her real friends were dead played into account.

Her frozen dark blue eyes held no remorse, but pain as her hand smashed into the glass of the mirror. The sharp edges of the glass punctured deep into her skin and Glinda screamed in pain. Her other hand soon was punctured with the glass. Heavy splatters of blood fell onto the wooden floor from her small, slender hands. Glinda looked at her hands that were a bloody trembling mess. With glass embedded inside her frail skin and some pieces sticking out, she ran her hands around her face cutting it.

When she finally felt woozy Glinda looked at her image in the remaining fragments of the mirror. Her face held dozens of jagged deep cuts, her hair was ruined, her dress was falling apart and still she was smiling.

As she collapsed to the ground in her own pool of blood, all the blonde could think about was how close she was to being with her friends again. She could practically see them waiting for her on the other side even though her therapists had told her that it had just been her imagination.

As more blood poured out of her, Glinda slumped against the cold floor and closed her eyes. While waiting for death she whispered in that ghost of a voice, "Everyone thinks that I have it all, but it's so empty living behind these castle walls… These castle walls… If I should tumble, if I should fall would any one hear me screaming behind these castle walls…"

With her last breath she whispered, "There's no one here at all behind these castle walls…"

And in that moment she was finally reunited with her friends.

This one was very angsty but I really loved writing it. This is a songfic to just Christina Aguilera's part in the song Castle Walls. I promise I will try and upload my other stories today and tomorrow.

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