Author's Note

Hi, readers. Thanks for your feed back. I'm really happy that you guys are enjoying this story! This time I'm doing Sonic Heroes. I hope you like it! On with the story!

Characters and some of the dialogue belong to SEGA.

Sonic Heroes

Stupid Thing #1

The Plane

I halted and looked at Tails and Knuckles, irritated by their lack of common sense.

"What's wrong, Sonic?" the kitsune asked.

"Did you just jump out of a moving plane?" I questioned them, pointing in the direction of where the plane flew off to.

"Yeah," Knuckles answered with a shrug.

Was I seriously the only person who found multiple things wrong with that?

"We could have flown to the Egg Carrier in that, y'know? Now we have to run their through robot armies and natural obstacles."

There was no response.

I sighed, realizing they would never understand their mistake.

"Where do you think it's going?" I wondered aloud.

They both shrugged, still completely oblivious.

I hoped we wouldn't have to worry about that later.

Stupid Thing #2


"Make it stop!" Knuckles screamed.

"Sonic! I think his voice burst my ear drums!" Tails complained.

"I know it hard," I said as gently as possible, "but we need to know how to play the—"

"Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah, blah badee blah blah blah! Blah blah blah blahahah blah ba da blah blah!"

I could barely hear Omochoa. Probably because his voice reached a frequency that only dogs could hear.

"Where did Omochoa even come from?" Knuckles yelled over from the ground where he was rocking back in forth in a fetal position.

"I theorize," Tails began, "that he was sent by Dr. Eggman to permanently damage our hearing."

"Then can we kill him?" I bellowed over the sound of my ears ringing.

"Better not," Tails said, "we might need help later."

"Then what can we do," I watched half in amusement and half in empathy while Knuckles tears ran down his face.

"I don't know," the mutant fox shrugged, "gag him?"

I smiled wickedly, "Oh yeah."

"Guys?" Omochoa squeaked, "guys, what are you—mm hmm nnn."

And with that our troubles were over…for now.

Stupid Thing #3

Wall Punch

"Knuck—ow—les—ow, I swear when you—crap—let go—ouch—of me I'm gonna—shit—" I tried to scream my broken threat over top of the sound of Knuckles beating me and Tails against a wall while we were balled up in his fists.

"This—owee—hurts!" Tails cried.

"Sorry," the dense echidna groaned as he launched and pushed us into the bricks repeatedly, "this is the only way!"

"No it's—argh—not!" I yelled. I was starting to see black spots closing in around me from having my head bashed against a wall. If this was happening to me I couldn't imagine the damage Tails' eight-year-old skull was taking.

"What do you guys suggest?" He asked us as his hits became harder and more rapid.

"If you—ugh—let us down we—ouch—might tell you," I felt Knucles pause for a second before he let us out of his grip.

"You have fist that can dig through solid rock," I reminded him, "so use them, not us."

Knuckles tried but to no avail.

"Then I could spindash it," I suggested, I was desperate to find a solution that didn't involve head injuries, "I mean, I spin dash through titanium robots, I can probably handle some stupid rock."

My attempts were futile. The rock was, for some reason, too hard for me to break.

"We could ride over the rainbow on my magic poney!" Tails cheered stupidly.

"Oh no!" Knuckles gasped as we both ran over to him.

"You hit his heads so many times he's lost all his IQ points!" I yelled at him as I shook Tails, "Tails! Speak to me!"

"Duuuuuuuuuuuuh," he replied.

I knew in that instant we had lost him.

"No!" I wailed, "lil' buddy! Come back to me!"

"Wait!," Knux said, "we could ask Omochoa."

I looked down at my now dumb sidekick and over at the gagged robot who was still trying to talk. Was it worth it? After a few minutes of consideration I decide to…hope Tails got better, at least by the next game, on his own. I wasn't risking my sanity to save his genius.

Stupid Thing #4

The Proposal

"A-amy," I stuttered nervously, "what are you doing here?"

"I got you, Sonic!" Amy bragged, "This time there's no way out of marrying me."

"Miss Amy?" Cream whispered sheepishly, "aren't you going to ask him about Chocoala and Froggy. After all, we did see him in the paper with—"

"No, Cream!" Amy exclaimed, "We can ask them after the wedding."

"I miss Froggy," Big sighed.

"Like I said," Amy snapped, "after the wedding."

"No, Ames, seriously," I said, beginning to become kind of curious, "what is this about Chocoala and Froggy? We could probably team up to—"

"After the wedding!" Amy roared.

I sighed, giving up on whatever it is they actually wanted from me, "There's no time to play, Amy."

"Give up, Sonic," she insisted stubbornly, "this time you're mine."

"Have you been playing with that girls heart again, Sonic?" Knuckles scolded me.

"Not really," I answered truthfully, "playing with her heart implies that I was leading her on, right? Well, I tell her we're just friends, I run from her when she proposes and I am very clear that I don't want any kind of relationship. I don't know what else to do!"

Without a second's notice, Amy's hammer was airborne and flying for my head. Luckily, I dodged it and was able to fight. As I expected, we won.

Amy, Cream and Big stood at the opposite end of the platform panting.

"So, now that we determined that there won't be a wedding, are you gonna ask me about Chocoala and Froggy?" I asked the other team's leader.

Amy cleared her throat, trying to gain back what little dignity her team had left after the fight.

"I would but I can't," she said with a shrug.

"Why not?" I questioned her.

"Because, this game has an incredibly illogical and stupid storyline to follow," Amy grumbled bitterly, "if we, or any of the other cast members, teamed up then the game would be significantly shorter, simpilar and less idiotic because we'd all be working towards a common goal instead of fighting each other for no apparent reason."

"Stupid scrpt writers," I groaned.

"I know, right?" she laughed.

Stupid Thing #5

It was done. The teams had been reunited. Eggman and Metal Sonic had been defeated and all was well. Except for the fact that their was a scary pink rodent chasing me in an attempt to force me into marriage.

Ah, I thought, life is normal again.

I looked behind me, surprised to find that she could keep pace with me. I cursed the stupid script for making me run so slow at this pivotal moment.

"Sonic!" Amy chirped from behind me as she caught up, "I love—oof"

I watched in total awe as Tails' runaway plane, the Tornada, launched into Amy and flew off to Chaos-knows-where.

"Hmm," I said to myself, "I guess jumping out of moving planes can be useful."

Alright! This chapter is over. I hope you all liked it. Please review. J