A/N: This is a departure from my usual style, but once it came to me, I had to get it down.
I will never forget the day you left.
As forgetful as I am, that will forever remain.
It's funny, how you would chide me for my absent-mindedness - telling me it was ridiculous that, as old as I am, I would be able to do so little without you. You would often ask me how I ever got about without you. I never would answer you...what you didn't know, is that I didn't know myself.
Afterward, I would often think in terms of 'Before you' and 'After you'. In my mind, that was how these things happened.
You tried to prepare me for your leaving. I tried to hide my dread; the hurt...I don't think it worked, for you could always see right through me.
I wasn't looking forward to it...I longed to say or do something, anything, to make you stay, if not forever than just a little while longer.
I knew the lonely days I was to encounter...days, years, centuries of wondering what you might have done.
What could have been.
What would have happened if you'd stayed, chosen a life like mine.
How much you had aged.
If you ever thought of me.
Countless hours spent gazing at the one photograph I had of you, knowing that years down the line, I might tell others that the girl in this picture is somebody I used to know. Like I had told you of the various portraits you had found amongst my belongings. Though often with those portraits, I honestly couldn't remember the names that went with the faces...something I hoped, prayed, no, knew, wouldn't, couldn't happen with you.
I despaired, and tried to throw myself into my work...but it all just reminded me of you.
And the day you left.
How you gave me that sad, tearful, knowing smile.
How you embraced me, and didn't remark when I held on much harder and much longer than I knew you were comfortable with. You allowed me those few moments, and gave me a kiss on the cheek, and stopped me from saying anything else with your farewells.
"You'll be alright." was the last thing you whispered to me. I almost laughed with the absurdity of the statement. Of course I wouldn't be alright. I would be far from it. But I would pretend, for you. I would give you that, at least, as your parting gift.
My smile must have been as broken as yours; the look on your face told me you didn't believe me. You wanted to...you were trying to convince yourself as much as me, I think.
"Myrnin?" you say suddenly, breaking me out of my reverie. "Myrnin, what are you doing?"
Ah, by the look on your face, you've been talking to me a while now. I smile. "Hmmm?"
"Honestly," you sigh. "I don't know what goes on in that head of yours. Have you been listening to anything I've said? Myrnin?"
You sigh again as I simply smile fondly at you for a minute. "What were you thinking about? You looked far off..."
I chuckle softly and take your hand. "Nothing, fy annwyl. I was just remembering something from a long time ago." I say, gently pulling your hand to my lips. I smile inwardly when you color slightly, but don't jerk your hand away, like you did that day.
I will never forget the day you left.
But I will never, ever forget the day you came back to me, either.
A/N: When this came to me (at about 2 am the other night), I grabbed a notebook and a pen and simply wrote it all down, just as you're reading it here. So when it came down typing it up, I was reading my handwritten notes, and it hit me that it was almost like I was reading a letter somebody had written. It was a strange feeling.
But anyway, this is a departure from my usual style and form, so I would really appreciate feedback on it, since this is really strange territory for me. I know it's a little random and all over the place at times, but it seems to me that Myrnin's mind really would be like that.
Thanks for reading!