Despite 'retiring' from my Twilight FF writing (a little over a year ago now, I think), I was searching through some old files and came across this little dust bunny. Something I wrote around two years ago. One big bundle of fluffy goodness and Blackwater love. Hope it puts a smile on your face!
Today's a special day. I won't say it's the one day of the year that I live for, because that would be a lie. I live for every second with you. But still, today is special for other reasons. Why? Simple. Today is our anniversary. Ten years to the day that you appeared in the middle of nowhere when I was on patrol, and kissed me like you would never see me again. Eight years since we said our 'I do's in front of all our friends and family. I'll never forget my Mom's ecstatic tears and your Dad's look of pride. Remember Paul's face when you phased a few weeks later and accidentally gave him an eyeful – or...mindful? – of what happened on our honeymoon?
That memory alone is enough to bring a smile to my lips as I stand here on the back porch and watch you. Our lives have been the rollercoaster ride we expected them to be, but you don't look a day older than you did in that split second before you kissed me for the first time. You turned 30 just a few days ago, but you're still the stunningly handsome man that I married. Even as I watch you the sun is brushing against your beautiful russet skin and highlighting your short and ruffled black hair. Not to mention that you're still the owner of the best body in La Push, despite the fact that it's been years since you last phased.
The day you scarred Paul for life was also the day you last phased, and handed over the title of Alpha to Seth. Since I last phased – just a week or so before the wedding – I haven't really changed either. My hair is long and flowing again, and motherhood has provided me with some softer curves...which I love, because you do...but that's about it. I'm kind of glad.
You see, these last ten years with you have changed me on the inside more than I can explain. You healed me. You took my shattered heart and broken spirit and you made all the pain go away. Sure, it wasn't easy. It took a while, but eventually you managed to piece the fragments of my heart back together and write your name across every shard. That day, after we parted to breathe and you finally confessed after two years of being best friends that you were in love with me, you promised you would never hurt me. I believed you. I trusted you. And now here we are.
You mended my soul through caring and kindness, and the kind of loving patience I've only ever known from you. Everyone told me, when we first got together, that you would Imprint and leave me. Even now I know that Mom and Emily worry for me. But I didn't listen then, and I won't listen now. Because I know that what we have is stronger than an Imprint. We were Alpha and Beta, childhood best friends, and now husband and wife. And I believe that the bonds we have are stronger. Whatever theory on the purpose of being Imprints you choose to look at or accept, I know it pales in comparison to what we are. If Imprinting is a way of finding our "soulmates" based on whether or not it would result in the strongest children, then I know it would have no hold over either of us.
Because you are my soulmate, Jacob. Believe me, I know that sounds cheesy – the old me would've laughed for hours. But I know it's true. You are. You complete me in every single way possible. I know you're not perfect, because neither am I, but you love me for every little flaw, and that's just another thing on the very long list of reasons why I love you more than life itself. And even if you do Imprint – which I'm not even sure is possible now that you've stopped phasing – I know you'll never leave me.
I brush my hair behind my ear, and catch sight of my wedding ring out of the corner of my eye. I twist it gently round my finger, smiling. The engagement ring next to it was your mother's. Sarah Black always valued her family more than money or physical possessions. So Billy was sure to get her a ring to match the angel she was on the inside. There's a small blue stone set into the gold band, beautiful, but simple. I remember the moment you gave it to me like it was yesterday.
Just before you asked, you told me something. You told me that you weren't like Edward Cullen. You couldn't give the girl you loved the world. You couldn't see a time when you'd be able to give me everything I'd ever wanted. You knelt there in front of me under the stars, and promised that as long as you lived you'd give me the most precious things you could ever give: your trust, your love. Yourself. And do you remember what I told you?
I told you that your love was all I'd ever want from you. And I meant that. I still do. I know that you still ask yourself why I love you, sometimes. Don't you see, Jake? I could never want anything but a life with you. I don't want a fancy life or lots of money, or a millionaire husband with condos all over the place. I don't want that life.
You've give me a lifetime with you. You've given me a loving marriage and 3.5 beautiful children, and that's more than enough for me. This is the life I want. You are the life I want. A lifetime wouldn't be long enough – nor eternity, but I've already been so lucky, and I'm not going to complain. I would rather live one lifetime with you than live a thousand lives alone.
My musings are cut short by a sudden squeal of laughter, and I can't help but chuckle myself. The idea was that you were supposed to be teaching Danny how to play football. Things went well for the first half an hour, but Danny's six and has a very small attention span. Besides, it's late afternoon, and we all know that he's a little bundle of energy at this time of day. He's so much like you it's unbelievable. On the outside, and the inside. He has your eyes, your hair, your nose and lips, and when he laughs it's the same laugh I remember hearing when my Dad was teaching you and Seth how to play football, and you thought my goal-keeping skills were hilariously terrible. He's going to be a heartbreaker when he's older, I can tell.
Danny darts forward as you catch the ball, using the opportunity to try and push you over. I know there's no way he'll be able to floor you even without the strength and speed we used to have, but you grin obediently and dramatically sink to the floor and pretend he's super-strong for pushing you over. Big mistake. Right on cue two more little figures burst out of the doorway behind me and rush past, giggling away. It's JayJay who reaches you first, piling on top of you with Danny. James Black is a carbon copy of his older brother, although his face is shaped just a little more like mine. His smile is an amazing combination of yours and the one that Seth inherited from further back in our family, the kind of smile that awes people as well as putting them at instant ease. At four, he has a little heart of gold, but we're just trying to brace ourselves for what'll happen in another decade and the dreaded teenage years hit.
Danny and JayJay are already trying to tickle you by the time three-year-old Ashley totters over to help. Out of all our children, she looks the most like me. Her shiny black hair is short and curly, and she has my eyes, your nose, my lips, and when it comes to standing up to people, my attitude. She gladly faced down a much older boy who was making fun of JayJay. Somehow, I don't think that boy will be bothering James again. Ashley does her best to help her brothers, and even you, Jake, can't withstand a tickling assault from three hyperactive young children. You're down before you even know what's happening, and I try to smother my laughter with my hand.
It's these little moments that I love the most. I know you'll have something romantic and completely you planned for later, when the kids are asleep, but for now I'm content to just watch you all together and wonder how I ever got to be so lucky.
You see me looking, and keep up the theatrics. "Lee, help! The kids are attacking!" You manage to get out through your laughs, begging them to stop but knowing they're enjoying themselves too much to cut you some slack. I grin mischievously and point at my protruding stomach.
"Sorry Jake, Number 4 says no!" I call to you. "Looks like I'll have dinner all to myself tonight!" At the mention of food the kids all jump off you, completely distracted and race each other for the back door. Danny and JayJay disappear inside first, but Ashley's pretty fast for her age and soon catches up with them. I can only smile as you pick yourself up off the grass and dust yourself down. You're standing in front of me in seconds and smiling your smile, and it takes all my willpower to maintain control of my brain. "Strict orders from Number 4, no helping Daddy out," I say. You simply roll your eyes and lean down to kiss me gently on the lips.
Yes, today is a special day. But so is every day with you.