Disclaimer: As you can tell by now, I don't own this show! If I did, I would be here writing this.

Dear old worn out notebook thing from School that I found that has my old doodles in it,

Hi, It's me! Duncan! I'm writing this all in you because I don't think I have much time left before I die. You see right now, I'm in my room at the playa and I'm stuck in my room! Outside my room is every contestant that has ever competed on this show plus, Chris, Blainley and Chef Hatchet. I'm hoping eventually they stop pounding on my door and go away! I don't think that's going to happen though, They all have been outside my door for at least 7 hours now. Chris even resorted to using the keycard to try to get in. I put a desk in front of the door and my bed, That should hold them off for awhile.

Let me explain to you exactly what happened! I had successfully dated, cheated and broke up with every single person on this show in the time span of a MONTH and managed to remain friends with all of them, without any of them telling about our relationship to the others and it went well until one person just had to open their big mouth!

You may be wondering how I managed to get a bunch of straight dudes to have relationships with me, Well I'm going to tell you that really soon!

I'm going to write pages on how I got with every single person on this show and then hide this stupid little notebook in the wall that way when they kill me and Chris eventually gets a new cast they will know how I did it and how they should do it too! They will also know how I died and can use it to maybe call the cops and get Chris arrested for engaging in sexual activities with minors. But at least they'll know the truth when they find this!

So, if you happened to pull this out of the wall somehow and find this...

Hi, My name is Duncan and I successfully dated every person on this show without the others finding out! I'm giving you a fucking guide to date every single person in the cast and not screw it up! Use it and abuse it!

Anyone wanna know how Duncan did this? This is Duncan's guide to Dating, Cheating and breaking up with everyone on the show!You know this is going to be epic and he has some really epic tips! Seriously guys you know I'm the perfect person to write something this epicly fucked up! So review if you want more!