(A/N: Hello all! This story has been on my mind for a few years now. I really hope you like it. This will be the last story in my "I'll Be" collection. You don't have to read "I'll Be" or "Bring Me To Life" first, but I would recommend it. I warn you, this story is really drenched in angst, but it's good, I promise. I really hope you like it. I would really appreciate it if you give me a review. Thanks! Love, Ellivia22)

This story will be completely in Raven's point of view.

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans at all. If I did, Beast Boy would be legally and 100% mine :)

Lost Without You

By: Ellivia22

Chapter 1 November

I was sitting on the couch, trying with all my being to clear my mind. The latest book from my ever growing collection laid in my lap. I tried in vain to focus on the words on the page, but the way my eyes kept becoming blurry, the task had become impossible. I was too upset to concentrate on what was happening in the pages anyway.

The atmosphere in the tower had changed drastically in the course of almost a week. I didn't know my teammates anymore. Starefire's cheerful nature wasn't the same. Cyborg hadn't touched the game station. Robin had become stony, silent, and angry. And Beast Boy...

Oh Beast Boy, I thought miserably. Why did you have to change the most?

Right as I turned the page, a loud sound rang out, shaking the whole tower.


I jumped out of my skin, the sound echoing in my ears painfully. Oh God. Please don't be what I think it is. Without thinking twice, I dropped my book. I ran as fast as I could down the hall. I knew where it came from. The room of the only other person who didn't go to the carnival. The man I secretly loved: Beast Boy.

I blew away the door with my powers. My heart broke. Beast Boy was lying on his back on the floor. A silver gun was in his gloved hand, dark red blood staining the ground from a head wound. It was quite obvious what he just did.

"Beast Boy!" I cried, running to him. I pulled him into my arms. Blood instantly soaked into my leotard and cloak, but I didn't notice. I was too shocked and horrified to heal him. I knew it was too late anyway. He lost too much blood. "Beast Boy, why?"

His dull green eyes were half open. His breathing was slowing down. He was fading fast. "Rae," he managed to whisper.

His skin lost a pigment of color. My hand landed on his chest. The heartbeat was deathly slow. He didn't answer my question. "Tell the others I'm so sorry. I love you, Raven." His eyes fell shut.

I held him closer to my chest. "I love you, too," I whispered in his ear. Please d-don't leave me!" I felt his body go limp. He was gone. This couldn't be happening.

I felt my world collapse all around me. My heart was breaking along with all the lights in the tower. I lost the man I loved above all things. If only I told him sooner. Then this might not have happened. My body trembled in grief.

I lost track of time. Hours might have passed, maybe even days. My eyes wouldn't leave his still face. My hand was still on his chest. I didn't even look up when I heard the happy chatter of the others.

"Raven must've blew out the lights again," Robin commented.

"I shall make sure that she is all right," Starfire said.

I hugged Beast Boy's body closer to me. Sobs escaped my throat. I couldn't hold them back even if I wanted to. Starfire stopped in front of the room, apparently not noticing that the door was gone. Her hand was raised, green light illuminating from it.

"Friend Raven! We have brought you some candy made of cotton and-" she stopped in mid-sentence. Starfire gasped when she saw the dead teen in my arms. "Friend! What happened to Beast Boy? Will he be all right?" I watched as she stared horrified at the blood surrounding us.

I shook my head sadly. "He's dead, Starfire."

She gasps again. "Friends! Please help us!" Tears started streaming down her face. "H-how did he die?"

Unconsciously I started stroking his face. It was as cold as ice. "He shot himself."

The others came in the room, both having their own source of light. Cyborg sank to his knees, despair on his face. "BB, no," he whispered.

Starfire immediately ran into Robin's arms and started sobbing hysterically. Robin showed no emotion. I knew he was grieving deep inside. After a long silence that seemed to be hours, Robin let go of Starfire and took a cautious step toward me. "Raven, he's gone. You can't help him anymore. Let him go."

I bent my head further. Robin was right, of course. "C-can I just have a few more minutes with him," I glanced at Robin with pleading eyes. "Please."

Robin nodded and motioned the others to follow him. Reluctantly the others do so. Once they were gone I took a look around Beast Boy's room. It was so clean I could actually see the ground. Four piles of items were a couple of feet away from us. I scanned each pile with my eyes. They all contained his possessions and a note to each of the Titans.

Tears fell more rapidly when I saw my pile. Among the numerous pictures laid his black and yellow communicator and a leather bound book. Against a vase containing a beautiful red rose was a note with my name on it. With a shaky hand, I summoned the note to me.

Silently I read Beast Boy's last words. I was surprised to learn how articulate he really was. I wondered why he never showed it. In his note I understood that he truly was deeply in love with me. I dropped the note and laid my head against Beast Boy's cheek. Then I closed my eyes, hoping that when I opened them again everything would be different.

Here's chapter 1. I hope you liked it. Please review :) Chapter 2 will be along soon.