Kenta: Hilariously enough, I've gotten a lot of positive feedback on this! I mean, I was just doing this for shits and giggles, but I didn't think so many people would favorite this so quickly!
There are probably only going to be two more chapters, as I can't really think of any more material and I have to get back to my main stories, but even still, it's been a nice reprieve to get me back into typing again.
On a side note, Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm 3 is coming out soon, and I'm getting the Goku costume! I hope to get the Sasuke RTN outfit as well, as it looks bad-ass! Casual Friday in a ninja world? Cool! Not to mention they have all 9 Jinchurikki and Naruto can go full Biju mode! I'm super psyched for the game!
P.S. this is the longest chapter yet.
"Well...this is awkward..." Was Kakashi Hatake's single response. The reason? Sakura swooning over Naruto. Surely Naruto would be ecstatic if Sakura were to swoon over him, he'd dreamt of it for years! Why wasn't he ecstatic?
"BACK! BACK I SAY!" Naruto shouted in what seemed to be pure terror.
With one foot he was keeping a swooning Sakura at bay, hearts floating around the kunoichi as her arms attempted to latch onto the blonde. The other three ligaments Naruto had were trying to keep the door to Tsunade's office shut, which wasn't really working as squeals, arms and legs were making it through the side of the door. Tsunade's patience was hitting it's limit, to which finally snapped after Sakura was able to get around Naruto's leg and wrap him in a fan-girlish hug, to which the blonde screamed out in terror.
"THAT DOES IT!" Tsunade shouted, having finally had enough. With a few swift movements, the door had been blasted off its hinges and through multiple walls while Sakura was deftly tied up, with her headband stuffed into her mouth to shut her up. Stomping back to her desk, Tsunade turned around, a demonic aura flaring around her, ponytails flying up and dancing wildly in the air, daring anyone to speak. Her now tiny, obviously pissed off eyes glared at everyone in the room. "Any more interruptions?" The group of furiously shaking heads pleased her. Taking a deep breath, Tsunade looked forward, where Naruto, Kakashi and a tied up Sakura stood/lay. "Now, as to all of your summoning...Naruto Uzumaki and Sakura Haruno, you two will once again be part of Team Kakashi." Tsunade smirked as Naruto's face immediately brightened, quickly turning to his old teacher.
"Seriously!? AWESOME!" Naruto cheered, throwing his hands up into the air. The Jonin smiled to the now ecstatic blonde. It was good for him to have cheered up. He was starting to worry about the kid. Tsunade also smiled at the blonde, though not in the same way Kakashi was. Sakura, Jiraiya and Kakashi all noticed it for the leer that it was. Naruto, however, remained blissfully ignorant.
"Now, before we get down to any real missions, you two have to show the fruits of your training by fighting against Kakashi." Tsunade said smirking, looking directly at Sakura, the kunoichi shivering lightly. "As for you, miss Haruno, this will be a chance to control yourself, deciding on whether or not you can stay on the team."
"What!?" Naruto suddenly shouted, glaring at Tsunade. "Why only Sakura!? And why is it to see whether or not she can stay on the team or not!?" Naruto glared at the blonde Hokage, Tsunade smirking.
"After her previous team arrangement with Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno has shown an inability to focus when she's...distracted." Tsunade raised an eyebrow at the blushing pinkette. "So, we will see whether or not she can focus on the mission at hand, and hold off any fan-girlish squealing until the mission is complete." Naruto blinked at the Hokage in confusion.
"Umm...I don't really get it, but...okay..." Naruto begrudgingly nodded, not sure what Tsunade meant, comparing the blonde to Sasuke. Sakura however, was comically in tears, showing how difficult she was finding the task. All but Naruto noticed her arms twitching in the direction of the blissfully ignorant blonde.
"And Naruto..." Jiraiya said, walking over to the blonde. "Two things to say." He smirked as he held up a finger. "Go wild this round, and there's something you need to hear after this test." Jiraiya said pulling up a second finger. Naruto nodded slowly, wondering what he needed to hear after the test. However, he turned to Kakashi, an evil grin on his face as he pointed a finger to the silver-haired Jonin, chuckles emanating from the blonde fox-boy.
"Kakashi-sensei, you're going down!" The blonde grinned as he flipped his hand, pointing his thumb to the ground. The Copy ninja merely smiled, hoping to enjoy the challenge. He wasn't really expecting too much of a stuggle, but then again, this WAS Naruto...
"OKAY! WHOSE UP FOR SOME RAMEN!?" Naruto grinned as he spun on his heels towards Kakashi as they returned to the village. The man smiled at the excited boy, despite the group's current state. Naruto was missing his jacket, currently zipped up on Sakura, who was missing not only her shirt, but also parts of her pants. She was currently blushing enough to make Hinata turn away in jealousy. Kakashi's attire was just as bad, his Jonin vest having numerous holes in it, rips and tears all over his blue liner underneath, and his headband had already been incinerated, revealing his closed, scarred eye. Many people who had never seen Kakashi underneath his headband and never took him seriously began to see him in a new light. If someone could lose an eye and still smile and laugh, then he was a bigger man than them. Of course, the irk-some part about it all was that his mask had only received a small cut.
Nothing more, nothing less.
"Uh, N-Naruto, I think I'm going t-t-to go home and ch-change..." Sakura stammered, wriggling underneath the blonde's jacket, getting wide-eyed stares from numerous people, though she got a few wolf whistles when some of the guys realized why she was wearing the blonde's jacket. Naruto pouted for about half a second before smiling again.
"Okay! Maybe some other time!" The blonde's grin widened as he locked his hands behind his head, his well-toned muscles flexing unconsciously underneath his mesh shirt. "After all, we're Squad Seven again!" He laughed. Though he did not notice this, numerous female onlookers were passing out from lack of blood that had left through their nostrils.
Kakashi shook his head, his right eye changing into a curved line, forming his famous eye-smile. "I'd like to, but I've got to set up the new team roster papers. I'll see you guys in two days at the Hokage Tower, Nine o' clock sharp!" With that the Copy Ninja disappeared in a puff of smoke, reappearing outside his house. The man took two steps into the house, closed and locked the door before his face-mask was blown to pieces, his unmasked face in plain view. Flopping onto his bed, the Jonin began sweating rivers.
"That was waaaay too close...I knew it would be a challenge...but to think that Naruto could..." A cold shiver ran down the man's spine. Looking up to a small picture frame of Squad Seven three years past, Kakashi smiled. "I wonder what you would think of him now, Sasuke. He's become stronger than you were, and now he's the village's heartthrob, just as you were...though without the intent to kill someone."
Sakura on the other hand, was finally reaching her own apartment, slamming the door shut before flopping down in front of it. She had never seen so many guys stare at her like that...but if she was honest with herself, that wasn't really what was making her legs buckle back and forth so wildly.
She had made it onto the team.
She hadn't fan-girled on Naruto ONCE during the mission, though she DID half a second after Tsunade said they completed their objective. The fact that Naruto had acted like a gentleman and lended her his jacket was a shock, though his cute, submissively apologetic face was too much for her to handle as she smashed his face in-between her two friends, squeezing the crap out of him as she squealed in ecstasy, not noticing the jealous glaring she was getting from an older blonde. She had been blushing about the entire chain of events on the way back until Naruto asked for ramen. And now that she was home, she realized something.
She still had Naruto's jacket.
A jacket, she decided, that wasn't going to be returned.
"HAH! BEAT THAT HINATA!" The Haruno cheered as she pumped a fist up into the air.
Naruto smiled brightly as he walked to Ichiraku ramen, having already run home and changed into a different set of clothes. He now wore a black T-shirt and some tan shorts, Tsunade's unlucky necklace bouncing freely on his chest as his headband hung on a loop of his pants. He still wore his Ninja Zaraki, the sandals clacking against the dirt road as numerous villagers slowed, staring at the happy blonde in shock. He still had a ninja pouch on him, though it was only visible because it pushed the back of his shirt out. He had the next two days off, and so he decided to kick off the day by going to Ichiraku's. Thinking back on recent events, Naruto smiled. Kakashi had given them a time limit, until the next morning to get the bells from him. However, what Kakashi wasn't expecting to fight was a three-tailed chakra-cloak Naruto.
Total Fight Time: 25 seconds
Of course, he felt bad that he forgot to warn Sakura, who was standing right next to him when he went Chakra Cloak-mode and as such had most of her clothes incinerated off, but it was definitely worth making Kakashi nearly piss himself in horror as Naruto had him in an Iron Claw half a second later. Though he wasn't really expecting Sakura to have grown so much over the past two years.
"She's gotten bigger..." Naruto smiled dreamily as a he began drooling, remembering the sight of Sakura's lacy pink bra before his face got an all expenses-paid trip to the valley of heaven. A phantom warmth spread across his face, Naruto giggling excitedly as his head turned at an odd angle. Numerous squeals erupted as fangirls passed out around him. The blonde didn't seem to notice however, as he continued walking along to his favorite ramen stand, hands in his pockets and a bright smile on his face.
Nothing could ruin his day.
"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY!?"
Naruto stared at Jiraiya in horror, all color drained from his face. The sage of Mount Myoboku sighed at the horrified blonde.
"Trust me, it wasn't easy to look at either. Though I advise watching your back from now on." Jiraiya said as he handed Naruto the two books Tsunade had chucked at the hermit earlier that day. Shaky hands took the books from Jiraiya's hands, the sage wincing as the books kept hitting the floor as Naruto tried to get a grip on them. Finally opening up a red book with purple hearts on the back, Naruto slowly began to read, only for the book to fall to the ground. Of course, it wouldn't be surprising for the blonde to drop the book, especially after hearing from Jiraiya that he was the star in a submissive porno, however he didn't drop the book on purpose.
It fell after he was tackled by Ayame.
"KYAAA! NARUTO-KUN!" She squealed in delight. "I MISSED YOU!" Naruto smiled warmly at his big-sister figure, until he realized that she was fervently blushing, and the moment she started rubbing her finger in circles on his cheek, Naruto's face lost color.
"NOT YOU TOO!?" Naruto nearly screamed as Ayame nipped playfully at his neck, quickly pushing the girl off and taking off down the road with the Ramen-worker quickly running after him. Naruto swiftly rounded a corner into an alley, gasping for breath as Ayame ran past, squealing out his 'stage name'.
"UKETOOO! WHERE DID YOU GO? I JUST WANNA SEE SOMETHING!" She called out, catching the attention of numerous females.
"Like hell you do..." Naruto growled irritatingly as his teeth ground together sharply. Quickly looking behind him, Naruto decided to follow the alley to the other street, regretting the action as the moment he stepped out into the light, a chorus of squeals erupted. A familiar Brunette named Tamaki tackled him back into the alley, squealing happily as she reached for the shorts Naruto had changed into. "GET OFFA' ME!" Naruto roared with a bright blush on his face, pushing the girl off before taking off down the road, holding onto his pants tightly. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE GIRLS!?" He panicked as he chanced a look back. He regretted it deeply as he noticed a few stands had been tossed into the air, barely hearing someone shout out about their cabbages. He turned around only to pale, more fan-girls now mobbed in front of him. The blonde skid to a halt, panicking as he looked back to find he was now completely surrounded. "Shit shit shit shit shit! Fuck fuck fuck! What do I do, What do I do, WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO!?" Naruto panicked, near tears as the mobs came closer.
"UKETO~! UKETO~! UKETO~! UKETO~!" The fan-girls chanted, slowly coming closer and closer. Looking back and forth, Naruto racked his brain for anything to help him through this.
Naruto blinked as he was suddenly surrounded by white. In front of him stood a young black-haired prodigy who turned around, shaking his head at the blonde.
"Sasuke?" Naruto rubbed his eyes, wondering if he was dreaming or not.
"Loser, what the hell are you doing? You're a fucking ninja, use your god-damn chakra! How many times have I told you how to dodge?" He tsked at the blonde. Naruto blinked, remembering Sasuke commenting on his bad dodging skills. Now that he thought about it...
Naruto was snapped out of his thoughts as he saw a girl leap for him, the blonde whipping his arms into action. He quickly grabbed the fan-girl's chest, giving it a small squeaze as he spun her around and flung her at the mob opposite of where she jumped from, all in one smooth motion. Quickly reminding himself of Sasuke's numerous jabs when they were still a squad, Naruto began to retrace the steps Sasuke had once shown him. As the blonde began to chuck the girls from one side to another, almost unnoticeably groping each girl as he threw them, Naruto could almost see Sasuke in the back of his mind, nodding his head in approval.
"ALL AT ONCE!" The fan-girls suddenly shouted, diving at Naruto suddenly. Feeling like the Young Uchiha on a Great Bridge, the blonde focused his chakra to his feet, the mobs slamming onto the ground. Naruto sighed gratefully to the Uchiha as he now stared down upon the pile of women in the middle of the road from his perch on top of a building.
"Now that I think about it, Sasuke...you once taught me the fan-girl interceptor style..." Naruto blinked as he saluted the Uchiha. Perhaps he had known Naruto would one day be a heart-throb? Either way, Naruto didn't care, as a squeal and a "THERE HE IS!" told him to get his ass moving. Ninja Style.
Jumping from building to building, Naruto soon found himself at one of the training grounds. Diving into a nearby bush, Naruto silently waited, wondering if any fan-girls had followed him. After a few minutes of nothing, Naruto released his breath, his tension dissolving as he figured that he was in the clear. Standing up, Naruto sighed, rubbing a hand through his hair to clear out any stray leaves. A light splash caught his attention however, and turning around, Naruto found something he was not expecting.
A beautiful brunette, bathing in a waterfall.
Slowly standing up, Naruto blinked rapidly, the brunette having caught sight of him as well. What REALLY blew Naruto's mind was when instead of screaming and beating the shit out of him like he was expecting, the brunette instead suffered an extremely powerful nosebleed before she suddenly passed out and fell under the water.
"ACK! WHAT THE HELL!?" Naruto shouted as he ran towards the drowning girl, quickly picking her up and making sure she was breathing. Sighing in relief, a rustling caught his attention once more. Turning, Naruto found a shocked Chunin wearing nothing but a green spandex jumpsuit with orange leg warmers and a Chunin's vest. His bowl-cut hair immediately catching Naruto's attention, he realized exactly who this person was. "Bushy Bro-
"VILE PERSON! HOW DARE YOU PEEP ON MY TEAMMATE!" The boy roared in youthful fury as he charged at Naruto shouting "LEAF WHIRLWIND!"
Thankfully, his training with Jiraiya had paid off, and Naruto could summon clones without the use of handsigns. So when a puff of smoke suddenly erupted in front of Lee, catching his leg and spinning him around before throwing him back in the same direction, Lee was, as expected, shocked.
"You are most youthful in your fighting style, I thought that you were merely a civilian trying to sneak an unyouthful peep on Tenten, but it seems you are a youthful shinobi, participating in most unyouthful acts!" Lee both praised and scolded the blonde, readying himself for a fight. He was quite shocked when the clone took off his shirt and quickly put it on Tenten, picking her up and moving her away from the water before walking over to Lee and hugging him. Pulling back, Lee saw the blonde with tears in his eyes.
"You havn't changed a bit fuzzy brows!" Naruto laughed, before waving his hand. "But I wasn't trying to peep, I was trying to hide." Naruto then turned around, looking back at the unconscious brunette beauty now identified as Tenten, blushing lightly. "But...is that really Tenten?" Naruto asked pointing to the girl. Lee, still confused, nodded.
"YOSH! My teammate is most attractive! Though it is not wise to peep on her as you are usually filled with a wide variety of shiny pointy weapons!" Lee shouted, saluting the blonde. Nodding his head, Naruto began pushing Lee away from the waterfall, his clone suddenly being blasted away by some unseen force.
"Had you stood still a second longer, my Air Palm would have annihilated you. You are most fortunate." A new voice said, causing Naruto to turn around before cracking a wide smile.
"NEJI!" Naruto beamed, the Hyuuga staring at the blonde stranger in confusion.
"How do you know not only my, name, but Lee's and Tenten's as well?" The Hyuuga asked, readying for a fight. "And more importantly, you should know that the Hidden Leaf Village Interrogates any and all intruders, you'd best prepare yourself."
Naruto stared at the Hyuuga in shock. Had he really changed that much?
"Have you guys really forgotten all about me?" Naruto was nearly in tears as he pointed a finger at himself. The two looked at the blonde curiously, trying to figure out who he was. "COME ON! IT'S ME! NARUTO!" Naruto shouted as he folded his arms. The shock that was on their faces showed that they really hadn't recognized him.
"NARUTO! IT HAS BEEN FAR TOO LONG! I DID NOT KNOW YOU HAD RETURNED!" Lee's eyes were suddenly flaming once more, excitement pumping adrenaline through the teen. Neji, shaking off the shock, smirked at the two idiots that he considered friends. Looking at Naruto's attire, he quirked an eyebrow.
"And it seems you've gone through a wardrobe change." Naruto blinked as he turned towards the Hyuuga before looking down.
"Oh, well I just got back the other day, and..." Naruto was silent as he recalled the strange series of events, as well as the recently revealed reason WHY the village had received him so awkwardly. "And, well, alot has happened..." Naruto sighed. Turning towards Tenten however, Naruto began to glare at the girl. The way she had reacted...
"But why were you peeping on Tenten in the first place Naruto?" Neji asked, before noticing something. "And why is SHE the one on the ground?" Lee nodded his head vigerously.
"YOSH! Most times the un-youthful offender is filled mercilessly with shiny, pointy and very sharp objects! Sometimes explosive objects!" Naruto continued glaring at Tenten before spinning around to his fellow males.
"Hey, can I ask you guys a question?" Naruto asked curtly. The strange looks he got from Neji and Lee made Naruto continue, seeing as how Neji was getting irritated that Naruto was avoiding his question. "It might make sense as to why I'm not looking like a porcupine." Glancing at each other, Neji and Lee nodded to the blonde. "Has Tenten been reading any...books lately?" Neji noticed that Naruto was turning a sickly pale, and further lost color in his face as Lee nodded positively.
"YOSH! She has been reading a series of strange books, though the one I've seen her read most is a red book with purple hearts on it." Naruto sighed as he reached behind him, pulling out the book he somehow still had from the ramen stand.
"Like this?" Naruto stated blankly, Neji and Lee staring at him wide-eyed before nodding their heads. "That's what I was afraid of..." Naruto groaned, debating on whether or not he wanted to actually look through the book or just burn it.
"But what is wrong with Tenten reading a book?" Neji inquired, folding his arms expectantly.
"YOSH! Your own mentor, Kakashi-sensei, reads most times of the day! Rarely have I ever seen him without a book in his hands!" Lee shouted, raising a hand. Naruto looked back at Tenten, a shiver racing down his spine. So the nosebleed she got was from his look-alike...
"Revenge?" The two Shinobi repeated, their heads cocked to the side at odd angles. Naruto nodded begrudgingly, not enjoying what he was about to tell them.
"Yeah...sometime in the past two years, I must have pissed some guy off big time, and so he wanted to get back at me. Of course, he didn't know my name, or he heard just my first name, but it didn't really stop him, as he must have burned what I looked like into his brain." Naruto poked at his forehead. The group had sat down over by a small creek that stemmed from the waterfall. Tenten was currently, by request of Naruto, tied up off to the side. Naruto had somehow gotten them to do so as a precaution, and told them that he didn't plan to keep her that way. Just for now.
"But, how could revenge get nearly the entire female population to go after you like that?" Neji quirked an eyebrow. Sure, Naruto had given them a rough idea of what had happened since he had gotten back, leaving out their bell test with Kakashi, but it still didn't explain why Hinata had slapped him, or why Sakura had fainted, or why Tenten had nearly killed herself from blood shooting out of her nose!
Naruto turned towards Neji, a blank look on his face. "Have you ever wanted to see two naked girls making out?"
The question caught the two ninja off guard, as they were not expecting such a question.
"Excuse me!?" Neji stammered, his face turning a light shade of red.
"Naruto! That is MOST un-youthful!" Lee shouted, though he too was blushing in embarrassment. Naruto waved their complaints off with a sweep of his hand.
"Yeah yeah, whatever, but the bottom line is, you've wanted to see it, right? That kinda of stuff is sexy." Naruto smirked triumphantly at the growing red on their faces. Sure, he had become a bigger perv after his time with Jiraiya, but he wasn't as bad as the old man. "Girls however, think the same way about guys." Naruto suddenly started losing the color in his face. He couldn't believe he was about to talk about gays...he half-wished to go back to talking about two naked girls, but the glaring looks of Neji and Lee prompted him to continue. "Well, girls are, despite their constant wailing on us for being perverts, BIGGER perverts than most guys. However, they aren't as...open, about it as we are." Lee had his hand raised, Naruto blinking as he turned towards the bowl-cut Chunin. Was he seriously raising a hand to ask a question? How old were they, seven? "Yes Lee?"
"Naruto! While I can understand that, what does that have to do with you, and as to why one book can turn the entire female population of Konoha into one rabid fan-girl infested bitch haven?" Lee said with a straight face. Naruto and Neji stared at the Chunin in shock.
"Don't look at me." Neji crossed his arms to form an 'X'. "I have no idea where the hell that came from."
Naruto scratched the back of his head, deciding to ignore most of what Lee had just said with a straight face. "Well, girls have a thing for...uh, emotional guys. So the small, defenseless, submissive guys are usually really popular with girls...I guess." Naruto sighed. "I don't really know a whole lot about this, as I'm not a girl, and before you ask..." Naruto glared at Neji, who was lifting his hand just as Lee had done, "As to why the book is the catalyst, it's because the revenge involved using a transformation technique to make a submissive guy look like me and took pictures of the events that soon occurred. Unfortunately, these pictures have apparently spread all over Fire Country, making 'ME' the biggest submissive little porn star of all time...the book was apparently inspired by the photos and is now...a best seller." Naruto gloomed before he noticed Neji and Lee with shocked looks on their faces.
"I can't believe it..." Neji started.
"I know, I can't either..." Naruto gloomed.
"No, not that." Lee waved his hand dismissively.
"I'm just amazed that Naruto is using such big words! Catalyst? You actually know what that means and were able to use it in a sentence?" Neji said in awe.
"You have grown more youthful over your training Naruto!" Lee smiled brilliantly as a dark aura overtook Naruto.
"Whoever did this is going to pay..." Naruto grumbled as he headed back to Konoha with his hands stuffed harshly into his pockets, two smoldering piles of ash behind him next to a tied up Tenten.
"So...who do you think did something so unyouthful to Naruto?" One of the piles of ash asked, eyes with fuzzy eyebrows appearing in front of the ash pile. The other ash pile, which had pale grey eyes, turned to the fuzzy eyebrowed ash pile and attempted to shrug, which just didn't work.
"It could have been Sasuke Uchiha..." The Neji ash pile suggested, the Lee ash pile shaking it's body back and forth.
"No, I do not think Sasuke Uchiha would take such drastic measures. He never truly cared to really humiliate Naruto, rather letting Naruto humiliate himself, very much like you once did to me."
"So you DID notice." Neji once again attempted to shrug which, still, did not work. "I do not truly know...but Naruto said that Sasuke once taught him a Fan-girl interceptor style kind of fighting." Neji ash pile thought aloud.
"But while Sasuke was most definitely a, as Naruto once put it, egotistical playboy, I do not think he himself created such a style." Lee ash pile replied sagely. Well, as sagely as you could get as a pile of ash and smoke.
"Hmmm..." The two ash piles began to stream thoughts and ideas before Lee remembered something.
"Neji, when we first saw Naruto, he used a clone to block my attack, correct?"
"He then used the clone's shirt to clothe Tenten, did he not?"
Neji, slowly understanding where Lee was going, nodded sagely/smokily. "Indeed he did."
"Yet, Shadow clones, once dispelled, disappear with only a cloud of smoke. And you destroyed the clone with your youthful Air Palm."
"So with the clone gone, doesn't that mean that the shirt that is clothing Tenten would be..."
The two turned to the clothed Tenten, only for a cloud of smoke to pop around the girl.
When she woke up, Tenten would find two piles of ash, one with pale eyes and one with creepy fuzzy eyebrows, staring at her with blood coming from somewhere below their eyes.
A young black-haired teenager sneezed loudly, looking around his quiet room before shrugging and continuing to work on his improvements to the UF-GIS, or Uchiha Fan-Girl Interceptor Style, trying to add groping to the katas, while somehow not getting caught.
Itachi would be proud.
Another Uchiha sneezed loudly as he looked back and forth around the street he was on. Realizing that the sneeze had flung off his hat and sunglasses, Itachi Uchiha panicked upon hearing a chorus of fan-girlish squeals.
"UCHIHA FAN-GIRL INTERCEPTOR STYLE!" The young man roared as he began flinging the obnoxious women away from him.
It's hard to be popular...