So...Yeah, just played through DmC: Devil May Cry for the sixth time...Yeah...Gonna have to apologize for the new fic. The idea's been circulating for a week now and...I gotta get it out! I know most hardcore fans probably dislike the game, but it was made with the best intentions...as well as an effort to make some dough. Whatever.

My point is that I have an ability to enjoy any game (except Sonic '06, but the control on that game SUCKS, the story is kind of repetitive {Dr. Eggman wants to rule the world, Sonic has to stop him, yadda, yadda, yadda}, and it's gameplay value drops because of the other two problems), so long as it has three important values: A good plot, a prime example of this is the Mass Effect Series; Good gameplay value or the ability to play through a game's story again and again, such as the CoD Series; and great controls, a prime example of this being the Halo series, which allows you to mod your controls to fit your style.

WARNING: SPOILERS for DmC!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or the Devil May Cry series. That said: Let's get this party started!

The Nephilim's Adopted Son

I


A white haired young man groaned as he ran his hand through his hair while looking in the bathroom mirror of the new building he purchased with some, obtained funds. He was at least twenty, and stood at a height of six feet with a toned build similar to that of a basketball player. The young man was currently buck naked, save for the red crystal that dangled from his neck by a black chord.

"God damn it," the man swore as he plucked a random strand of hair from the middle of his head, glaring at the thin strand of white as though it had killed his puppy. Looking back at the mirror with two grey-blue eyes, the man's scowl increased, a light scar over his right eye crinkling along with his skin.

"What are you complaining about now, Dante?" a young woman's voice asked from the other room, her form hiding beneath the sheets. The man, Dante, clicked his tongue in annoyance before he replied.

"Think I could borrow twenty bucks for some hair dye?" he asked the woman in the other room. The woman smirked before rolling over to face the man, revealing the Wiccan star tattoo that rested between her blue eyes.

"Why? You look fine to me," she said. Dante glowered at her.

Deadpanning, Dante said, "I look like Vergil."

"You are his twin brother," the girl replied with a wider smirk. Dante sighed and put his hand over his eyes.

"C'mon, Kat, it's just twenty bucks! I can't go out killing demons looking like a freaking Japanese teenager!" Dante pleaded, "I swear I'll pay it back!"

The woman, Kat, put a finger on her chin and tapped it thoughtfully, "I don't know...How can I be sure you won't go to a strip club with it again?"

Before he could attempt to defend himself, Kat spoke, "Oh! I know, I'll just have to go with you."

Dante decided to ignore the phrase's subtle command of "Take me shopping" and smirked, "You can't resist me, can you?"

"Dream on, pretty boy," Kat shot back with a smirk of her own. The two chuckled before Dante went to the dresser and pulled on some black jeans. Kat rolled her eyes as she sat up, the covers falling to reveal her wearing a thin blue spaghetti strap top, before she said, "How can you stand going commando every day? Better question, why don't you ever smell like ass?"

"I use soap in the shower everyday!" Dante joked childishly as he pulled his boots on over his bare feet, "And I don't hear you complaining about getting an eyeful every night."

"Not much to look at anyway," the psychic replied with a smirk, earning a look of aghast from the white haired man.

"Oh, Kat, how you wound me!" Dante countered dramatically as he put his hand over his chest, "Your cruel words, they stab me right in my still beating heart!"

"Hilarious, you should be a comedian," Kat shot back as she rolled her eyes and got out of the queen-sized bed, revealing that she wore only a pair of white panties to keep herself decent.

"I would, but I get paid more in the department of demon slaying," Dante replied cheekily as he pulled his grey muscle shirt on, "Hurry up and get dressed if you want to go out."

"Yeah, yeah," Kat replied, waving his words away as she sauntered over towards the shower, "Save me the threats."

Dante's eyes dropped to follow the girl's posterior and a small perverted smile came over his face. When Kat entered the bathroom and closed the door behind her, the white haired Nephilim let out a content sigh as he leaned back against the building's wall. Looking at the ceiling, Dante thought back to how his relationship with the psychic Kat began.

Ironically, I wouldn't have started seeing her if you hadn't tried to bring me into this rule the world scheme of yours, Vergil, Dante mused.

Six months ago, he and his twin brother had slain a demon king by the name of Mundus. The same demon king had murdered their angelic mother, Eva, and imprisoned their demonic father, Sparda. Mundus had planned to rule the world through debt, controlling humanity with drugged soft drinks created by a slug-like succubus and using a disguised demon playing the part of a famous reporter to keep tabs on everything around the world. He had impregnated a demon that went by the name of Lilith, and everything was going according to his plan.

Until Dante was pulled into Vergil's scheme. The twins overthrew the demon king with the help of the psychic girl. Dante still felt guilty that Kat had been caught and tortured. Despite her constant reassurances that she had healed fine, he couldn't help but worry about her mental state. Vergil had helped Kat overcome a lot of problems in her life and for a long time she idolized him, but then he revealed that he thought nothing of her and wished to rule her race.

Dante disagreed vehemently with his brother.

It led to a fight that ended in Dante's favor, and ironically, Vergil only walked away because of Kat. After a brief month of rediscovering who he was with Kat's help, killing a few demons along the way, the two started a relationship. Dante wasn't sure if it was a true emotional one, but he wasn't complaining about their physical one.

Shaking those thoughts from his mind, Dante thought again of his brother. The Nephilim looked away from the ceiling to glare out the window, Where are you, Vergil? What are you planning?

"Hey, you ready?" his current girlfriend's voice made the hybrid look at her and smirk. She still had her brunette hair styled in the same way as they first met, and she wore her favorite hoodie with said hood up, shadowing her eyes. Hip hugging jean shorts adorned her waist down and knee-high boots protected her feet. Strapped over her shoulders was the holster for her ready-to-go rune stencil. At her right side was her spell-in-a-can spray paint.

"Aren't I always?" Dante countered as he grabbed his three preferred guns (Ebony, Ivory, and Kablooey) and tossing Kat the shotgun he named Revenant. The girl smirked and slipped the holster around her waist, letting it hang to the opposite side of the can for an easier grasp. Dante had ensured that she could defend herself with that weapon before he would agree to bringing her with him on jobs, though usually she'd accompany him anyway through a psychic connection.

Opening the door, Dante said, "After you."

"Perv." Kat muttered with a smirk, hinting that he only had done it so he could stare at her butt.

"Something wrong with that?" Dante countered with an arched brow as he followed her out the door, before turning to lock it behind him. Assured their home was safe, Dante led Kat towards Limbo City's constantly chaotic shopping center.


Along the way they ran into a few minor demons, easily dispatched of with help from Ebony, Ivory and Revenant. Dante sighed as he holstered his 'girls', "Shit, and this used to be such a nice neighborhood."

"Limbo City was aptly named for a reason, Dante," Kat informed her boyfriend with a smirk. Dante opened his mouth to reply when he spun around and aimed Kablooey at a ducking shadow, "Come on out! I know you're there, shitstain!"

Kat lifted Revenant and took aim, her own eyes hardened from months of slaughtering demons. Neither of them were ready for the innocent eyes of a short boy. Dante held his stance while his girlfriend faltered, lowering her gun with a gasp.

He stood just shy of four feet and wore a filthy white T-shirt that had an orange swirl on the chest and torn dark shorts. Kat moved to help the boy but was kept back by Dante's raised left hand. Giving her lover a confused glare, Dante hissed, "It could be a disguise. Something is coming off the kid. It ain't human!"

"He's just a child!" Kat argued. The white haired man scowled and pointed at the scarlet orbs staring at them curiously.

"Not according to those eyes!" he shot back, "Stay back, Kat!"

The woman gave him a glare before both looked to the frightened boy. Dante cocked Kablooey's hammer and hardened his gaze, "Who are you and why are you following us?"

The boy smiled, earning a glare from Dante, before he replied in a voice far too deep for any child, "You'll both do nicely, I suppose. Please don't scream, these ears are sensitive."

Before either could ask what the boy meant, a dark portal opened behind him and a evil smirk came across his face, "Say goodbye to Limbo, Nephilim and Human, because we're going somewhere beyond the Veil."

A giant vacuum started to pull the two towards the portal and the smirking child, prompting Dante to quickly holster Kablooey, wrap his arm around Kat, and pull Rebellion off his back before stabbing it into the ground in an effort to anchor them. The boy tisked and stepped back into the portal, causing the vacuum to increase significantly.

What the Hell is going on? Dante thought as he grit his teeth, straining to keep a grip on Rebellion. The sword tilted towards the portal and the white haired Nephilim swore. As he did so, the ground his blade was imbedded in gave way to the suction, causing Dante and Kat to be pulled into the portal.

"HOLD ON!" Dante called over the winds to his girlfriend as he held her tightly, prompting her to wrap her arms around his midsection.

Then all they knew was darkness.


In a dark forest, Dante woke with his back on the ground, an unconscious Kat laying atop him, and groaned. The noise elected a chuckle from the demon child, who was suddenly put under a glare by the demon hunter.

"Where are we?" Dante demanded with a snarl, reaching in his coat for Ivory.

The boy smiled as his eyes flashed crimson, "Welcome to the Elemental Dimension, Son of Sparda. I summoned you here to pay a debt your father owes me and my kin."

"Then summon him," Dante snapped as he clung to Kat in an effort to protect her, "And send us back!"

"If I could summon him I would, but only Matatabi knows the secret to manipulating the dead," the 'boy' said with a frown. Dante's jaw clenched and he cocked his pistol.

"...How?" Dante asked, believing the 'boy's claim that his father died.

"Without a master and uncontrolled, Mundus' forces succumbed to inner desires and ripped Sparda apart for vengeance. Broken hearted from seeing the Angel die, he didn't attempt to fight back," the boy replied solemnly, "I...I am truly sorry for your loss."

"Tch, whatever..." Dante spat, glaring at the ground before readjusting his gaze on the 'boy', "So...Why are you a kid? Are you some kind of pedophile?"

The 'boy's visage turned into a deep snarl before he recomposed himself, "No...This is my jailer. I am the Kyuubi no Kitsune, strongest of the Biju and the ultimate form of chaos. Six years ago, I was released from my previous jail, the boy's mother, and quickly manipulated by an old foe of mine. I regained control over myself just in time to be captured by the boy's father and sealed within him. My only hope of freedom is for the boy to willingly release me, but it is at the cost of his own life."

Dante's eyes narrowed, "So...You're currently possessing the boy?"

"Yes. It was rather simple considering he had been sleep deprived and malnourished. This village he lives in considers him to be me, not seeing the...Hm, how shall I put this...Ah, they fail to see that I am merely the Pizza within the cardboard box," The Kyuubi replied with a smirk on the boy's face. Dante frowned as he lowered his weapon.

"They try to kill him?" he asked. Kyuubi barked out a laugh.

"Heavens above, no! Had they ever tried to kill him I'd have forced my way to control and slaughtered them all!" the chuckling demon replied before recomposing himself, "No, they treat him like the plague and avoid him at all costs. Some keep their children away, others tend to just ignore his existence. I fear that he will become an attention seeker and eventually this will lead to an ignorant and idiotic fool. In this world, ignorance and stupidity are the ultimate weakness and will lead to an early death for the both of us."

"If you're just gonna die, why should I help you? What the Hell do you even want me to do?" Dante asked with a frown still on his face.

"Raise my container as your own kin," the Kyuubi replied with a smirk, "Train him to fight as you do. Do this for me, and I swear on my power not to kill your little pet."

Dante's face turned into a snarl and he cocked Ivory's hammer once again, his eyes flashing red, "Don't ever threaten Kat!"

"You'd kill an innocent boy just to kill me? I wonder if you're more demon than angel, Nephilim," Kyuubi taunted with a smirk on the boy's face. Dante's resolve cracked and he reluctantly lowered his weapon once more. Kyuubi's smirk widened, looking quite evil, and he continued, "Wise choice. Remember: He's but the cardboard box. While a good protector, it is still flimsy and weak."

Dante's nostrils flared as he snarled, "I'm gonna find a way to kill you, you bastard."

"By all means, do try," Kyuubi replied with a chuckle, "I would suggest looking for a library to find out more about my world, Nephilim. You and your little human are currently weak due to your ignorance."

Dante said nothing as Kyuubi's presence retreated back into his container's deep subconscious. The white haired man watched as red eyes turned blue and the feral features faded away. Guilt struck him as the boy turned more and more innocent while his tenant's presence retreated within him.

I...I almost killed this kid...the Nephilim thought as the boy fell forwards, unconscious. Frowning, Dante looked to Kat and saw she was still out of it. Looking back to the blonde boy, the demon hunter released a sigh before smirking, this party's just getting started...


Naruto groaned as he slowly woke up to arguing voices. One was female and the other male. That's odd, he didn't recall going to the ramen stand to sleep...Didn't he try to sleep near the Old Man's tower? Did one of the Masked Men relocate him again?

Bah, whatever, it's too early for that. This was actually one of the most peaceful places he'd ever slept since he left the orphanage.

"Dammit Kat, I told you I was sorry!" the man suddenly shouted.

Naruto frowned and scrunched his eyes closed. Well, it was peaceful if the two loudmouths would leave.

"If you're so damn sorry why did you try to do it anyway!? Just admit I was right, Dante!"

Weird names, Naruto thought with a muffled giggle, unheard by the arguing couple.

"...Fine! You were right, are you happy? Does that make you feel better!?"

"Yes! As a matter of fact it does!"

"Good!"

"Good!"

"Fine!"

"FINE!"

"You guys are loud," Naruto whined as he rolled over in an attempt to ignore the argument. The voices stopped and Naruto smiled happily. Now he could get back to sleep!

Well, he could have if someone didn't just grab the scruff of his shirt and lift him up. Defensive maneuvers kicked in and Naruto did what any tired five year old would: He started to throw a tantrum.

"Put me down! Put me down!" the blonde shouted as he swung his arms and kicked his legs at his disruptor.

"Christ almighty, you're a little ball of fun, aren't ya brat?" the man said with a hint of amusement and annoyance in his voice. Naruto opened his eyes and stopped his attempts to free himself to look at his captor.

Dante kept a cocky smirk on his face, "What? Never seen a man this good looking?"

"No, I just can't help staring at the ugliest person alive!" Naruto shot back with a frown. Dante grinned.

"You got spunk. I like that." He said to the confused boy, "What's your name, kid?"

"N-Naruto Uzumaki...Why?" the blonde asked with a frown. Dante's grin widened and he promptly dropped the boy onto his ass.

"Naruto, huh? Sounds Japanese...I like it!" the man said before he was slapped upside the head by the woman, "Ow! What the fuck, Kat?"

"You're confusing him, Dante," Kat replied with a scowl before smiling at the boy, "Hello Naruto, my name is Kat and this is my idiot Dante."

"Don't you mean 'idiot boyfriend' or 'idiot lover'?" Dante asked. Kat merely smirked at him cruelly.

"No, I mean idiot."

Dante's confused face turned into a scowl, "Bitch."

"Asshole."

"Skank."

"Dumbass."

"Whore!"

"Cocksucker!"

"Uh, what do those words mean?" Naruto asked innocently as the couple looked at him. Kat slapped Dante upside the head once again.

"OW! Goddammit stop doing that!"

"Stop swearing in front of him!" Kat chastised the man. Dante's eye twitched.

"You were doing it too!" he countered, resulting in another smack, "FUCK!"

Clang. Dante found himself face first in the ground as Kat holstered Revenant after cracking him on the head with it. Naruto stared at the twitching man with confusion before looking back up at the smiling woman.

"He's fine," she assured him and answered his silent question, "So, Naruto, why aren't you at home? Surely your mom and dad are worried sick."

She ignored Dante's muffled mutter of "Don't call him Shirley" to focus on the blonde child. Naruto's confusion shifted into depression and he hung his head. His shoulders shook and Naruto's lower lip trembled.

"I...I don't have parents..." he softly replied. Dante's head immediately freed himself and he frowned.

Damn demon left that little tidbit out...why the fuck didn't I ask about that either? The white haired man asked himself while Kat sympathized with the boy. Dante watched as his girlfriend knelt down and pulled Naruto into a hug, soothing him with soft coos and rubbing his back while he started to cry. The white haired man pushed himself to his feet and dusted himself off, still thinking as he did so, The village ignores him because of the Kyuubi, he's malnourished, he doesn't have parents, and he's afraid to cry if his hung head meant anything. Well, what do you know...He's like a mini-me...Well, if I wasn't badass anyway.

"Hey kid," Dante started, getting the blonde's attention as well as his girlfriend's, "What would you say if I said I wanted to adopt you?"

"H-Huh?" Naruto asked as he sniffled and rubbed his nose with the back of his hand, "A-Adopt me?"

Kat couldn't help but smile at her lover. Sure he was a cocky asshole most of the time and a bit of a perv, but this was the side of him that she loved to see. Though he wasn't human, he still had a sense of humanity and had a caring heart when one got past his vulgar attitude.

"What, you got corn in your ears or something? Yeah, I said I'd adopt you. What do you say?" Dante asked with an arched brow while he crossed his arms.

Being suddenly slammed into by a happily sobbing Naruto was not the outburst Dante had expected. Thankfully he was leaning against a tree or the kid might have knocked him over.

Looking up at his new father from where he hugged his leg, Naruto beamed a smile that would eventually melt the hearts of any and all females within sight. Dante couldn't help but smile back and put a gloved hand on his head. Dante glanced at Kat, his smile growing when he saw her smaller yet approving one stretching across her lips.

Glancing down at the blonde boy, the Nephilim could only say, "Well then, welcome to the family, Naruto."

Naruto burst into tears once more and buried his face into his new father's leg, squeezing it tightly. The mood was killed when Dante asked abruptly, "By the way, can you tell me where the fuck we are?"


AN: There's my new story for you. Taichou fans, expect an update soon!

Review!