Disclaimer: As usual I don't own The Simpsons, and I doubt that I ever will; though I wouldn't mind if I could write an episode...
I will not put a spider down anyone's back; but especially not the principal's or teachers.
I will not make up school rules to new students.
I will not glue shut the library and school books.
I will not rip up the school books.
I will not put underwear on the pole instead of the American flag.
I will not dig a hole outside and put leaves on it to watch who will fall in it.
I will not tell students that love to read that reading is stupid.
I will not glue the chairs so that when teachers and students sit down they will be stuck.
I will not put dog treats everywhere in the building and let a bunch of dogs loose.
I will not hide the toilet paper.
I will not hide the healthy food.
I will not lock the teacher's lounge with the teachers still in it.
I will not prank an adult that is visiting the school.
I will not wreck the gym equipment.