TC Stark: Hello! So, I know I have two projects that I'm working on and believe me I am still very much into both. I will be updating All This And Heaven Too and Trust in Loyalty. Those are my two main stories and this is sort of a side project to free my mind from those two plots. But, I absolutely love Inglourious Basterds and decided to dip my foot in the pool. I wanted to make this story as a what if? So, this chapter is a prologue and it will take place after the movie. A lot of characters that died in the movie, I have kept alive as a what if? It is a sort of love triangle and I'd love for you guys to let me know how you feel because I don't even know who my OC is going to end up with, if either in the end. Ok, so let me know!

Disclaimer: I only own my OC and my ideas, nothing else.

Chapter One

Absolutely revolting.

Archie Hicox was not happy. He didn't entirely mind when given orders to work with a group of Americans who earned the name The Basterds. After all as long as he could be part of the plan that would hopefully bring down Hitler, he didn't give a rat's ass what men he was forced to work with. As long as everything went according to plan, he would gladly fight alongside the band of Yankees.

Well, that was exactly the problem. He hadn't a problem working with men. Now, yes, they were to meet up with famed German actress Bridget von Hammersmark. To him the woman was the essence of grace and the way a true woman should be. She was simply there as a spy and to tell them some important information that could help end the war. It helped that she was so beautiful, she could easily distract any suspicious soldier.

What he did have a problem with was a woman who thought she was on equal level with a man. Assunta Maffei was a first generation Jewish American whose parents had immigrated to Boston, Massachusetts from Tuscany only three years before she was born. After learning that some family members had been killed in a concentration camp, the 20-something-year old made her way to Europe with one thought in mind. Kill Nazis.

Assunta was nothing like Bridget. Before finding out what had happened to her family, she worked as what modern society would call a "Rosie the Riveter". Growing up in Boston, she sat on her block's stoops with the young boys and smoked and drank all day long. She may have graduated high school, but never did anything with her degree. She wasn't a secretary and she wasn't a nurse. Rather she took after her brothers and learned the trade of a mechanic.

Archie glared at Assunta, who was leaning up against the wall smoking a cigarette. The Basterds may have liked her because of her skills, but he was disgusted by it. Despite actually having a very nice figure, she behaved so masculine. While one hand held a cigarette, the other was stuck in her a-line black pair of pants. A white short sleeved button down shirt was tucked into her waistline as red suspenders held it all together.

Despite having long brunette tresses and bright blue eyes, he couldn't view her as some delicate flower. Whenever she smirked it reminded him of some vixen whom he needed to keep one eye open while he slept in fear she might kill him in his sleep. They hadn't known each other long, but she had already gotten on his nerves.

"You got a starin' problem, chap?" Assunta slowly asked while blowing out a cloud of smoke.

Scoffing, the Englishman turned his head away while commenting, "Any manlier, we'll forget your actually a woman, love."

Licking her lips, the younger woman took slow strides towards his sitting form. The click of her heels seemed to silent everyone as she leaned down to whisper in her ears, "Then if you keep starin' that would make you a Nancy Boy."

Donny and Aldo let out amused snickers as Archie sneered inwardly, taking out a cigarette of his own and lit it. He couldn't wait for this mission to be over so he could hopefully never see this damn woman ever again. If by chance the two happened to run into each other in their next lives, then that would be too soon.

"Alright, enough you two love birds," Aldo announced, "We need ta be lookin' out for this Miss Hammer."

"Hammersmark." Archie corrected.

"Whatever. Now, we need to be getting' this show on the road. Where's this little actress of yers?"

Rolling his eyes, the Englishmen muttered under his breath something along the lines of him being an impatient American. They bitched for a while about the meeting being in a basement before seeing the actress walk into what he called a tavern. Hugo Stiglitz stopped sharpening his knife and stood up with his usual cold gaze blanketing across his face. It was time to go to war and he had grown tired of hearing his comrades bicker stupidly.

Stubbing out her cigarette, Assunta straightened herself up, "Alright, let's get this show on the road."

"No, no, no," Archie shook his head while standing, "You will not be joining us."

She raised an eyebrow curiously and placed her hands on her hips, "You don't say. Now, why wouldn't I be joining you this evening?"

Stiglitz narrowed his eyes as he watched the Englishman lean into the woman's face, "Because, Miss Maffei, you'd stick out like a bloody sore thumb. Do you even know how to speak anything but your poor excuse for English?"

"As a matter of fact, Mr. Hicox," She leaned into him while stating, "I speak fluent Italian. Need I remind you my family hails from the land of Tuscany?"

"Yes, but you don't speak a lick of German."

"No," Assunta tightened her lips, "But, I speak French fluently."

Archie scoffed, "Maintenant, comment je vous prie savez-vous comment à parler le français? (Now how pray tell do you know how to speak French?)"

She smirked, he had thought he had bested her, "En tant qu'Européen, vous devriez savoir qu'ils parlent plusieurs langues. Mes parents m'ont appris en grandissant. (As a European you should know they speak many languages. My parents taught me while growing up.)"

Having about enough of her little show, he switched back to English, "Fine, you know how to speak other languages. Now, tell me, what will your role be?"

At this she smirked deviously, making him want to shudder, "I'll get dressed up, no worries. While all you Nazis drink your asses off, I'll walk in and play the role of the woman who just wants a drink. Then I'll partake in the fun when all hell breaks loose."

"Hopefully it won't come to that."

"Oh. I'm counting on it."


Hicox was most displeased. This hadn't been at all what he was expecting. Rather than a crowd of Nazi officials, the tavern was filled with a group of drunken idiots. He could tell his new comrades were glaring at him, angry for bringing them into such rocky territory. It really wasn't his fault, he should have been cursing the female spy for deceiving him. He didn't much appreciate Wicki and Stiglitz glaring at him as if he had just signed their death certificates.

His mind was distracted for a moment when he heard the door to the bar open and close. His eyes trailed to the bar where a young woman had made her way to. It took him a moment to realize that the woman standing at the bar was none other than Assunta Maffei. He hardly recognized her without her manly clothes.

No, she looked nothing like the woman he had come to know. He dare say she actually looked stunning in a long sleeved red dress, matching high heels, and bright lipstick. Her hair trickled down her back and was styled beautifully. Archie couldn't help, but stare as she seductively leaned into the bar to order a whiskey. Where the hell had she been keeping such girly clothes?

Stiglitz shot the Brit a glare as he shook out of his daze and went back to the main objective. Things weren't going well at the current moment. The three soldier's meeting with the actress was interrupted by a suspicious Nazi. Archie may have been able to speak German fluently, but he unfortunately couldn't escape his English accent.

Soon he had a gun pointed to his balls, not a very wanted position. Though the German Nazi had no idea he had had a pistol pointed at his the whole time. It really wasn't looking too good as he decided it was time to accept his fate, "Well, if this is it, old boy, I hope you don't mind if I go out speaking the Kings?"

"Not at all." The Nazi smirked evilly.

They had a few choice words before Stiglitz pulled the trigger. Luckily the shock of having one's balls blasted off had distracted Hellstrom; the Nazi's gun flew up as his shot missed Archie. Still, that didn't stop the entire room breaking out into a free for all. Stiglitz and Wicki were killed in a matter of minutes, along with Dieter, and the group of drunken bystanders. Bridget was instantly shot in the leg and he couldn't tell whether or not she was dead.

Archie stood to hold his hand out in front of him and start shooting. He got a few, but out of the corner of his eyes he noticed a Nazi coming in close with him. This was it, the end. Well, at least he went out fighting for his country and speaking his native language. His hand moved towards the Nazi, though his heart suddenly sank while realizing there were no more bullets. Bloody hell.

Before the enemy was able to take a shot, the Englishman noticed a bullet piercing through his skull. The firing seemed to stop as he deemed it safe to turn to see his savior. Assunta stood proudly as she blew the smoke off the tip of her pistol, "Now, was I the one who stuck out like a sore thumb? Even I could notice your accent the whole time."

"Shut up," Archie growled before relaxing his shoulders, "Thank you."

Assunta stepped forward while observing the area around him. She then smirked and gently patted his cheek, "No need, chap."

"H-Help...I'm still alive!"


"What the fuck!" Anyone could tell that Aldo was pissed. The entire plan had gone to shit and the only two Germans in the group of Basterds were dead. Bridget was lying on a table in extreme pain. The bullet had been taken out of her leg, but it didn't take away from the pain. That didn't seem to be the leader's concern though, "I told you this was a bad idea! Its all your fault!" He yelled at the German movie star.

"Mine?" She sneered, while painfully pointing over to Archie, "It was the Englishman's. When ordering drinks, he order three like this," She then held up her three fingers, "Germans order like this," She then held up two fingers and a thumb, "The first looks odd to them. They knew right away."

Snickering, Assunta teased, "Nice job, chap."

Archie turned to her quickly, before scoffing and turning to the others, "I know how to speak German. I know German film. Excuse me, for not knowing how they use their fingers."

"Seems like you're the one not knowing how to use your fingers." She cooed.

The comment caused the Basterds to erupt in a roar of laughter; both Bridget and Archie sneering. Though, it did nothing to bring up Aldo's mood, as he stepped forward and stuck his finger into the bullet wound. Instantly, the movie star keeled over, gasping violently in pain and desperately trying to move her leg away from the Apache.

Shocked, Archie moved forward, "What are you doing?" He demanded, "You're going to cause an infection!"

"I don't really give a shit, understand?" Leering forward, he expressed, "I think this German set us up. Probably working with the Nazis, aren't ya?"

Fingers gripping the side of the table she was on, Bridget gasped, "N-No! It was not a set up! I have been working as a spy for some time now. I thought it was secretive and a good idea."

"Yea, well it wasn't. Because of you, we lost Stiglitz and Wicki. Two fantastic men and soldiers. And because of you, we almost lost the last remaining German speaker here!" He yelled, while pointing over to Archie.

Aldo took a moment to assess the situation. Archie looked positively worried. While he was a bit frustrated at the flawed plan, Bridget was still a respected actress and a woman he admired immensely. In war time, plans didn't always turn out the way they were supposed to. He saw that the rest of the Basterds didn't feel that way. Assunta looked at Bridget as if she were a moron and Aldo was looking at Donny, as if to figure out what they should do with the German woman.

After a moment of dog barking and painful gasping, from the injured woman; Aldo removed his finger. Instantly, Bridget threw her head back in relief as the lieutenant shook the blood off his finger. Pacing around, he demanded, "Now, you're going to tell us the reason for this little contact. Because, fairly, the only point of it that I saw was to get my men killed."

News that Hitler was going to be attending the premiere of Nation's Pride was almost enough to make the rest of the Basterds forget that two of their best men were killed. Archie knew why they were so happy at the news. While the British were fighting the war and he was truly committed to taking down someone as despicable as the Fuhrer, he was doing it for the sake of humanity. They were doing it because it was personal. They were Jews and Hitler was the symbol of all bad that had happened to their people.

"But, how is your plan even going to work?" Bridget suddenly spoke up, "We may still have someone who speaks German, but they could detect his accent just as easily as the Sturmbannführer had. And besides, how are you going to get in? I am probably going to lose the leg. Bye, bye acting career! How am I supposed to walk in with a missing leg?"

Pointing his finger towards the German woman, Aldo instructed, "Now, doggy doctor here is gonna bandage up your leg. Take out the slugger and put in a cast. Make up some story. Mountain climbing injury. You Germans like that kind of shit. You can still take Hicox over here and..." Stepping away, he took a moment to think, "Donny and I will go with you. Be your crew or some shit like that."

Both Archie and Bridget looked over to each other and groaned, as she asked, "I know this question is stupid, but do any of you know anything besides your sorry excuse for English?"

"I can speak Italian." Aldo defended.

"With a horrible accent no less," Musing it over, Bridget propped up onto her elbows and thought, "But, it could work. The Germans don't have a good ear for Italian."

Making his decision, Aldo nodded firmly, "Great! Donowitz here also knows Italian, so he'll come to."

Donny was just about to nod, when Assunta interjected, "All Donny knows how to do is say hello and goodbye and thinks he knows hand movements. I am a first generation American, my parents are from Italy. Italian was my first language!"

"Hey, I learned some things from growing up with you." The Bear Jew argued.

"You didn't pick anything up. I speak three languages fluently: Italian, English, and French. I should go."

"You can't," Bridget explained, "It wouldn't look right for me to bring a woman as one of my dates."

Snorting, Assunta folded her arms and spoke, "Nice knowing you chaps."

Scoffing, Archie turned around and remarked, "Your confidence in us is astounding."