Author's Note: Do know this isn't to make fun of people who have or someone you who has cancer, I have family who are going through it, and may yourself or loved ones get well. Also I do not own Osmosis Jones. This idea came to me when I thought how Cancer would do in the Osmosis Jones Universe.

Osmosis Jones 2: The Fatal Enemy

An Osmosis Jones Fanfiction

Written by Cooljoe64

Chapter One

Mr. Malneo

The man slowly coughed and coughed gripping his chest. The last few months his condition worsen, mostly because he couldn't quit. He reached for a cigarette before gripping his chest and coughing more. He remembered earlier what the doctor told him.

"I'm afraid you have lung cancer. I believe it has to do with smoking so if you can quit it should be easily reduce the risk of spreading. Anyways we should schedule immediate surgery to remove the infected tissue. You should be just find Mr. Huson"

That was three months ago. He underwent surgery but was unable to quit and the cancer spread. His doctor determined he would no longer survive. He sat down on his chair smoking, angry that he was unable to quit. Little did he know inside of him, he was about to die.


A little cell was walking around a rapidly decaying body whistling to himself. He resembled a lightning bolt, with little dark gray lines all around his body. His hair, hands, and feet, were all very spikey. Yet he was short, standing only 4ft (In cell size). He wore a light tan trench coat, something he liked after seeing it on a movie through the humans eyes. He was a cancer cell. He came at will, left at will. He chose when and where to infect what part of the body. He decided whether to let it slowly suffer or to die instantly when he got bored. Still he heading to see someone who helped him take down the body, Nicotine.

"My dear friend, about time I've found you" he said. The little smoke cell turned around before smiling.

"I must say this guy is really craving it. The people can't get enough of it." He motioned his head where thousands of cells were all crowding around the lung, begging for more.

"Ah yes, all hell breaking lose. I just came to tell you thanks for your help, but also to warn you I'm shutting down this body"

"What? Already?"

"I'm bored and honestly I'm finding the smoke a little too much for me." He said

"Well thanks for the warning but no need to worry. Where there's smoke, I'm around."

The cancerous cell walked away but not before looking up to see his work. Large stems resembling goo hung all around the lung. Slowly infecting. He wasn't worried when the body underwent surgery thou he was caught off guard by martial law declared by the mayor. Still Nicotine managed to hook the whole population with his drug which allowed him to easily begin his infection. He walked on followed by two police guards, or they were until they were infected and began turning on their own kind. He remembered when he had paralyzed the entire body by having a police officer bomb the entire immunity department. After that he had the mayor assassinated and launched his infection which overwhelmed the entire body easily.

He took an elevator to Cerebellum Hall, once the last stronghold for immunity, now under his control. The secretary then greeted him.

"Why hello Mr. Malneo, what can I get for you today?" she said completely happy.

"I think the body needs to be shut down" he ordered.

"Why yes sir" she said happily heading to the office.

"You officer, prep a chopper for me, it's time to leave"

"Yes My Leader" he saluted before rushing off.

Malneo had to admit it was nice having the masses obey every order he gave. He took out a small book. In today's world, many diseases used DNA chains. But living for centuries, he carried his little book. In it were many charts of the different types of cancer he had used on millions of people. Still he had to be careful. The outside world was getting stronger. He touched his left eye, now covered by an eye patch because a patient sought help. He never realized how much radiation could actually kill him and he was forced to exit the body. This happened a few thousand times now so he had to come up with newer ways to take down people. Such as getting help from other cells like Nicotine. He wrote:

Type: Lung Cancer

Time: Three Months

Outcome: Successful

The sound of a chopper broke his train of thought. He quickly bordered as he heard more and more coughing.

"So long Mr. Huson" he laughed before taking off.

"Pilot, stop at the immunity department, I have to get someone."

The chopper landed and Malneo rushed to the jail section.

He went by a few cells, many asking him to free them but he had little interest until he approached a particular cell.

"Hello, you still alive" he bang against the cell.

The cell covered in rags moaned before getting up. He had three eyes, a pukish green covered in dark greener spots. He looked like he been through hell. Then again he actually had. He was the common cold. He could easily infect but always got his ass kicked every time. Why he still did it? What else was there to do?

"What do you want" he mumbled.

"I'm gonna take down another body"

"Another one? You never learn to take a break"

"Can't rest my friend, but the smoke is bothering me, I'm in a mood for a common cold"

"Oh I see, you need someone to take the beating while you can go an infect, not happen'n man"

"What? Common on. Trust me it will be fun. Think of it likeā€¦eh, an adventure, to see the outside world. Trust me, it's worth a look"

"Well I guess I'll go." He muttered before having the cage broken open for him.

"Come on, the chopper awaits" said Malneo.

The chopper came to from above landing for both the Cancerous cell and the Common Cold to board. They then flew upwards.

"Whys the city all dark" asked the cold.

"It's dying, I got tired of it so I cut the guy lose. On to the next one."

They flew out of the mouth, both turned to see the guy dead on his sofa.

"So what body are we heading too?" he asked

"Don't know, don't care"

By this point the chopper was outside the house flying around the outside world.

"So many decisions" said Malneo trying to pick the best body

"How bout that one" said the Cold point to a guy. He had the beer belly, yet was jogging but was failing at it. A girl came to him urging him to go on.

"Sure why not. Officer, fly through the, eh, ear"

"Why the ear?" asked the cold

"Because I've never done it before"

The chopper flew towards this man.

"How exciting" said Malneo has the chopper slowly aimed for the ear.