Hi everybody, I'm back with a new story. I still don't have a beta reader, so it would be a lot of mistakes and I really am sorry for that. If someone wants to help me, I would really appreciate it.

So, I wrotte this story about 2 years ago and the chapters are very shorts.

I'll try to update every week, but the weather in Ireland is not very good and sometime internet is very slow or not working at all.

I hope you will like my story.


Jane has a secret and he could not bear to hide it anymore. Will Lisbon understands why he didn't tell her before?


Life is about choices we made. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. But you never know that the choices are bad before the consequences. Nobody can know beforehand if they make the right choice, one that will bring them happiness.

Lying on his couch, Patrick Jane pondered on his life, on what that led him to work for the CBI, the choices he had made in his life. At one time he had everything to be happy for, a loving wife, a wonderful daughter, a good job, everything. His job was simple, he used his ability to read people to make them believe that he could speak with their dead loves. But he lied, he had no such capacity, nobody had. But he knew how to be persuasive and people never doubted his sincerity.

And one day, the police called on him to help find a killer, his nickname was the Smiley killer because he signed his bloody crimes of a smiley. Red John, the man nobody knew about, that nobody could understand. The police had asked for his help and he had agree, not knowing that that day he made a mistake, it was the wrong choice that would change his life.

He was far too confident, he had not thought about the consequences of his choice. It was only on his way home that he realized he had made the biggest mistake of his life, one that would change everything forever, which would make his life a living hell.

Jane sat on his couch and looked around him. His colleagues and friends were at work, they were typing boredom reports and he was thankful for his lucky stars that he didn't have to do the same. No, he was responsible for the double workload of his boss, Teresa Lisbon.

This small but strong woman, the one who managed to bear him despite all the shit he could do. He sometimes wondered how she had not turn crazy, he even admired her for that.

He rose from his couch and walked to the kitchen where there was tea waiting for him. His thoughts went back to that night, years earlier. He didn't know why he was thinking about it today, maybe because of their last case, an other Red John case.

He was in a very bad mood throughout the investigation, sending stroll his colleagues who tried to help him. But he didn't want their help or their pity. He wanted nothing more than to find the one who had destroy his life.

Lisbon had tried to calm him down, to make him understand that they were there for him to help in this too personal case. He replied harshly to the others and the woman was offended. She had not spoken to him for the rest of the case, not even asking for his opinion, something that never happened.

He was afterwards tried, but he could do nothing to change this, so now here he was, alone in the kitchen, wondering how his life could be worse than it already was.

- oooo -

Lisbon was in her office, typing reports, a lot of them were complaints against Patrick Jane. She would still be here for several hours and she cursed him for acting without thinking of the consequences. Each time it was for her to fix things, to ensure that the prosecution does not go away. This man was really exasperated, she could not bear to live like that to long, always angry, always stressed, always monitor every move of her consultant. What had she done to deserve such a punishment? She sometimes seems to be the babysitter of a five year old child unable to behave himself, and even a child of this age performed better than Jane in public.

The woman put the pen on her desk, stretched her body, stifling a yawn and leaned against the back of her chair. She thought about how Jane had behaved with the team's members and in particular with her. Why had he been so hard? Why refuse to be help, while he really nedded support?

She had a very hard time to understand him sometimes. He could be a kind and thoughtful man as he could be hateful and mean. Still, she could not help feeling sorry for him and want to be there when needed her. He should not withdraw into himself, stay away from all those who wanted to help him, especially her.

-" But what I tell myself," she lectured herself. "This is Jane I'm talking about, so why I don't want him to reject me?"

That was a good question, why she wanted at all costs to get closer to him? He had not yet made the mourning of his family, he was not ready to move forward in life and so her. But she had to admit that when she saw him she could not help but smile and when he was not there she was worried for him.

She was beginning to have feelings for this man and she cursed herself for her weakness. She should not be indulged in it.

The woman decided to get back to work, and straightening she saw Jane passing by her office door and heading to take the stairs leading to the attic of the CBI, his lair. He had a sad face and she had a pang in her heart. She had to do something for him, she could not leave him like that, especially suffering in silence and alone.

So she got up from her chair and left her office to see her colleague and talk to him. He should one day decided to tell her what was wrong, even though she knew, he had to speak, frees himself from this weight.

Lisbon took the elevator and reached the attic door. She hesitated for a few seconds and then walked to the door, but before she knock on it to let Jane know she was there, she heard him talk on the phone.

-" I know darling, I miss you too, but I can not come at the moment. I'm working."

But who was he talking with then? Was there anyone in his life? A woman? He had decided to start living again? And her in all this?

To know that Jane was not a fre heart hurt her, more than she could have imagined, much more than it should.

-" I have a lot of work Emma but I promise to do my best to come see you as soon as I can. I love you with all my heart."

Lisbon stood up and hurried to turn before Jane could see her. He should not know that she had overheard his conversation and that she knew he was no longer a single man.

She ran quickly down the stairs, the elevator was already gone.

Jane hung up when he heard a noise in the hallway. He walked to the door and was just in time to see a dark head taking the stairs as if she had the devil at her heels.

-" Lisbon," he whispered.

So she was there and had probably heard his conversation. She must have misunderstood what she had heard, and he could not tell her the truth without putting Emma's life in danger. But he could not keep lying to her , it was getting harder and harder each day and could not stand it anymore. He had to talk to her and as soon as possible. He also had to apologize to her and the team for his behavior during their last case. He didn't want to lose his friends, let alone Lisbon.

He took the direction of the stairs and header to Lisbon's office. They were going to have a long conversation and for once he was going to be honest with her.

TBC ...

Okay so, here was the first chapter.

Let me know if you want to read more or if I should stop now.

I give you a small shot of the next chapter:

"He had decided to move on on his life, she should be happy for him and not blame him. Ok, she had feelings for him, but they were not shared and if she really loved him, so she had to be happy for him and wish him a happy life too. That was true love, to want only the best for the other. It would take time to get used to the idea, but for the sake of their friendship, she should make an effort."

Next chapter in a week.