I've never written New Girl before, but how could anyone resist after that kiss!
So this is just a little ditty brought on by copious amounts of talking and debriefing on Twitter :) It could go further, I'm not 100% sure yet. You guys get to decide.
I hadn't seen the promo for next week when I wrote this, but had seen the promo pictures, so there may be some slight spoiler-age up in here. I'm also flying beta free which is a strange feeling, so any mistakes are my own and I am more than happy to have someone point them out to me.
Disclaimer: I don't own New Girl, but damn I wish I did! I could create a character whose sole purpose would be to push Nick and Jess together in the most fantastic ways imaginable.
Something Like That
It's not like they make it a habit or anything, but they certainly don't shy away from it.
She knows it's wrong and he knows it's wrong, but dammit, they've found something that works and they just want to keep going for it.
Sam doesn't know about her midnight dalliances with her roommate, hell, Schmidt and Winston haven't even cottoned on yet. It's a simple thing really, some nights they meet in the hallway between their bedrooms and just share a passing kiss. It's never even close to as passionate as the first time, as though they both feel too guilty to do that again, but her "Goodnight Nick" has never not been accompanied by a quick kiss to her forehead or a sweet peck on her cheek since the night he had lost his trench coat.
It feels dangerous somehow, like they're living on the edge. He never invites her back to his room and she never implies that she would want to go there. While it's just a kiss, they can remain ignorant to its implications.
She likes Sam, she fought for Sam and Sam fought for her. And sometimes she thinks that's enough to warrant him having all the chances in the world. But when Nick kisses her and it feels all right and wrong at the same time and he's holding her face like he cares, she forgets Sam. She forgets everything she went through to get to this point with him. She forgets how guilty she will feel each and every morning. She can even forget those flashes of Spencer in her mind and how horrible she had felt after she had caught him cheating.
Because she knows it's cheating. Even if Nick is the one initiating it all, she's the one letting him.
And the truly horrible thing is that within herself, she can find the will to justify it all.
All she can think about is the intensity of that first kiss between their bedrooms. The look on his face as he grabbed her, the determination to make this a moment to remember, the searing numbness she felt as he had hung his head and slammed the door.
Sam had asked her if she was okay, "You're so quiet, what happened out there?"
She was just grateful her crisis mind was switched on, "There was a dog and a woman. And the woman owned Nick's coat." She cracks a smile, Sam believes it, Nick would have seen right through it, "He's trench coat-less again."
"Oh thank god! He looked like a woman in that thing." He rubs his tired eyes and pulls down the blankets.
She feels this innate need to defend him (even though she thinks Sam is right) but quashes it, biting her tongue and crawling back into bed.
As she drifts off into a slumber she tries not to think about how empty her room feels now that her melon headed Nick Miller look-a-like has been removed.
They don't talk about it.
There are a few loaded looks that pass between them at breakfast the next morning and Nick can only grin to himself when Jess says goodbye to Sam and only gives him a brief peck on the cheek.
But that night, as they walk from brushing their teeth to their bedrooms, he takes her hand, kissing it softly before he closes his door behind him.
And she struggles to make sense of it all.
She wishes it hadn't come out like this. She wishes it could have stayed a secret forever. At the heart of it, she wishes she had held the capacity to just stop, to go to bed before Nick and to avoid the whole mess.
But she hadn't.
And so she has to stand there, in the middle of Cece's night of prospective husband finding and defend herself and try to salvage a relationship she has been having second thoughts about for a while now.
"You can't deny it, Jess. The way you two act around each other is so much more than what you try to pass it off as!"
"What does that even mean, Sam? We act like friends, because we are friends!"
Somewhere off to the side of the room, Nick takes a step back, fighting the urge to get involved and make it worse for her. He's done enough; he can see them now, the consequences for his selfish actions.
"You're trying to tell me you've never slept together? After that display?"
She can almost feel Winston and Schmidt pipe up behind her, coming to her defence. And while it's the truth that they haven't slept together, they have wanted to and that's enough for Nick to eyeball his friends, to get them to stand down. They look between themselves not quite understanding what is going on but slowly piecing the puzzle together.
"No Sam, we've never slept together! We were just dancing." She throws her arms up in the air in frustration.
"He looked like he was about to devour you."
"You looked like you were ready for it."
The anger leaks out of his words as realisation takes its place, "You looked how you looked when we first got together."
She doesn't speak.
He nods, "You did kiss him that night, didn't you?"
She doesn't tell him when, but, "Yes."
He nods again, turning and looking for Cece, "I'm sorry if I ruined your night."
She's not quite sure what to say, so she offers him a sad smile as he walks from the room.
Jess breathes, Schmidt and Winston start chattering about signs they have seen in the shifting of the loft dynamic, Cece tries to divert everyone's attention elsewhere and Nick follows Sam.
"Hey Sam," he keeps walking, "Sam, come on!"
When he finally turns around, he looks a mess, "I really liked her, man. I came back for her. You convinced her to let me in."
"I know. I'm-"
"Don't apologise. Just grow up, okay? Right now I'm the better man, but she wants you, so you need to be better for her."
He can't tell if it's an insult or a compliment. Reading the context though, he knows Sam is right. He is the better man, "I will."
Sam just bows his head, turning around and walking away.
He's sitting outside her bedroom when she gets home. Her eyes are red, her hair has come loose from the bun it had been in, her dress looks crumpled and yet he doesn't think he's seen her look so gorgeous.
He pats the ground next to him and she sits, their backs against the cool wall.
"I'm so sorry, Jess."
She leans her head back against the wall, trying to keep the fresh tears in her eyes, "I've already forgiven you, haven't I?" There's something bitter in it, like she wants to hate him for kissing her, but can't quite do it because really, she liked it so much.
When he'd said that he might hurt her one day, this hadn't been what he thought he would do. He thought he might ruin her dresses or insult one of her paintings. It was definitely never his intention to break her and Sam up. He just couldn't help himself, there is a part of him that he is pretty sure is falling for Jessica Day and it seems to be a very dominant part.
"You don't have to have forgiven me if you don't want to. I mean, now that you know the circumstances, you can change your mind."
She sniffs and rests a hand on his knee, giving him something to hold onto.
"I want to forgive you." She turns her head slightly, offering him a watery smile.
He doesn't push it that night but offers her a sweet kiss to her temple before they go to their separate rooms.
Part of it is because they can't deal with it all right now, part of it is because they don't want Winston or Schmidt to see them like this yet (whatever this is).
And part of it is because things often look a whole lot different in the daylight and maybe it'll be the kind of different that is easier.