Case 3, part 3
After the trial ended with Phoenix accusing the OLDBAG, he and Maya went to the Wright and Co. Offices.
Maya plopped down on the couch. "Ugh, well that was an awful first day. The only thing we did was tell everyone that Powers might not be the guy in the costume. Bwah! I need a drink!"
"Maya, you're underage. Also, we don't have alcohol here," Phoenix said, completely unaware of his mentor's hollow books with beer cans inside of them. "Besides, we can always look for someone else to blame for the murder. I'm pretty sure that wild OLDBAG doesn't even fit inside the costume, so let's go find that fanboy that was briefly mentioned in the last episode. Maybe we can whack him with a ruler!"
And so, newly equipped with a ruler he bought at the dollar store, Phoenix went back to the studio in search of a child to smack around and pin a murder on.
Phoenix, still openly refusing to use a map, wandered around for hours until Maya pointed him towards the dressing room area. They went in there and found Penny, outside of her cell.
"Why did you lock me back into the studio!? I had to go down and dig my way out through concrete!"
Phoenix coughed and while avoiding eye contact, he said, "Er, I'm sorry. Who are you?"
"You know exactly who I am!"
Maya went over to the wall where Penny was at. "What's with this vent? You covered it with wood and duct tape."
"To keep out the fanboys, or as we call them here at the studios, the rats. Well, goodbye. I'm going to cry myself in front of the computer, wishing some super hunky rock star will find and marry me."
She left, leaving him and Maya alone with a closed vent.
"You think we should tear this vent open, Nick?"
"You think so? Would it be possible? She did use duct tape after all. Well, I guess I can try. My motto in life is 'Destroy anything a woman makes,' after all."
Suddenly, Phoenix's goal of making a child cry made so much more sense.
"Okay, here it goes. Huuuraah! There! Did it! Looks like I beat duct tape! Now what?"
Maya shrugged and left the room.
"Oh, screw you, Maya!"
He went after her. They ended up being in another room, which was Power's dressing room. There , they found the second most revolting thing you can find on this planet: An annoying otaku.
"Gah! What is that smell? Is that you?" Phoenix pointed at Maya.
"Now how is that smell supposed to come from me? And why did you point at me first!?"
Phoenix chuckled and put away his finger. He looked at the greasy nerd in the corner. "You."
The slimy otaku frowned and began defending himself. "I don't take showers, that's why!"
"That's a defense?" Phoenix fell back and plopped down onto a chair.
"But it's only because I don't have time! You see, I am the great Sal Manella! 20 hours of my day are dedicated to sleeping, eating, and working. That only gives me 4 hours. 4 hours! I need those 4 hours to watch all the anime I can in that short amount of time!"
Maya's jaw dropped and she screamed. "Ah! You're the director? You're THE Sal Manella?"
"Yeah!" He leaned closer to her, trying to get his head as close to her chest as possible. "And you're hotz! I see you're a fan of cosplay! If I dress up as Sasuke, would you be willing to dress up like my lovely Sakura?"
Maya stepped away and began crying.
Since Sal had gotten closer, the smell did too. Phoenix loosened his tie and dress shirt and covered his nose to prevent himself from smelling the foul odor of Pocky sticks and ramen noodle mixed with sweat. "A perverted anime freak who doesn't shower, huh? How is it that you're only the second most revolting thing in the world?"
Sal Manella chortled. "Cuz I actually have a life! Duh!"
He understood now. "I guess it's true. You're only the director of a kid's show, but I guess that does technically mean you're contributing to society."
"Nick, help! He keeps jumping on me, saying that he's 'glomping' me!"
"It's okay, sweet Sakura! You're giving me ideas. Ideas for a sweet new show I'll call the Pink Princess!"
"This is beyond glomping!"
Phoenix rolled his eyes and said, "Hey, Sal. I hear there's a Japanese person in the studio right now. Maybe you should go and harass them with your advance knowledge of the Japanese language and their honorifics?"
"You're right! I should go!" said Sal, before he left to the place we call 'outside'.
Having nothing better to do, the stubborn lawyer and scarred girl got outside too and wandered around the place some more. This is when they discovered a new area.
"Woah! There's a studio 2? It's right next to the other studio, how did we never find this place? Hey, maybe we can find some new clues?"
Phoenix and Maya looked around and found nothing of importance.
"Nothing. Hey, Maya, get inside of that building, maybe there's something super important there."
Maya shakes the doorknob. "It's locked. I guess there really is something super important here."
Phoenix sighed and pointed to the woods. "Let the wandering continue."
Luckily, the wandering didn't last long and they ended back at the entrance where they confronted a wild OLDBAG.
"Warrghgdedkgjopaijdg! I finally found you! And now that I've found you, I'm going to kill you for saying I killed someone!"
"How is this lucky at all!?"
The OLDBAG took a step and ran out of breath. "Eh, forget it."
Phoenix nodded. "Forgotten. BACK TO THE ADVENTURE!"
They went back into the woods and found another building: The dressing room area.
"This is where we essentially started!" yelled Phoenix.
"Wait, Nick, look! An event triggered and there's a kid now!"
"Kid?" Phoenix wiped away his tears and saw it was true. "Oh, goody! I get to whack a boy now!"
He pulled out the ruler and ran to the boy, whose back was exposed. Phoenix this opportunity very seriously and ran faster. He was at the perfect range now and he did it. He went and swung full force at the kid. And then he stopped.
"Huh? Wh-what happened? The ruler...it's in half."
He took away the cut ruler from him to see a katana being pointed right at him by a boy in green.
"Too slow, sucka!"
The boy's image faded away and he was gone. At the same time, Phoenix found a key.
"Is the key to that door? Shouldn't this be found somewhere else?"
"Who cares? At this rate, this part is going to get unreasonably long. Take the opportunity!"
Phoenix took the opportunity as Maya suggested and they were magically transported to studio 2. He went to the door and unlocked it. The door clicked and he entered.
"The super important thing here is...a woman? I suppose life is important. Better talk to here."
Phoenix and Maya tried to talking to here, but was met with silence with each question he asked.
"Hi, I'm Phoenix!"
"Hi, I'm Maya!"
"Hi, I'm Daisy!"
"Hi, I'm Daisy!"
"Hi, I'm Daisy!"
"Hi, I'm Daisy!"
Phoenix took away his three-eyed monster. "Guess there's nothing we can do."
"The script," she muttered. "I need the script."
"No, Nick, we have to get the extremely pointless plot coupon to get her to talk."
He groaned and exited the building.
Three hours of searching and ended up in studio 1.
"I am really hating this case," Phoenix sat down on the director's seat after he gave Maya the script they found there. "Just a bunch of nonsense walking."
Maya nodded and made an obligatory comment about burgers. That's when she saw it. That's when she saw the thing people use to get to high places. "Nick...look."
He looked at what she was pointing at and he groaned again.
"I guess it's time, huh? We've got to do that gag. Fine. Maya, start."
"Look, it's a ladder."
"I agree. Now let's get the hell out of here."
After he heroically left the gag alone, Phoenix gave the script to the woman in studio 2.
"...yes. This is the script. I am Dee Vasquez, the producer of the Steel Samurai. What would you like to talk about?"
Maya pulled a table over to Phoenix and he pounded his fists onto them. "Nothing! Nothing at all!"
She literally kicked them out and went back inside.
"Well, this was a waste of time. My legs are tired to. Let's go back to the office, Maya. Let's just hope time passes normally and night comes so I can go to sleep."
They spent five hours in the office and the clock never moved its hands.
"Argh! What do we have to do now! Maya! Do you have any ideas? Maya?"
The female revealed her face. "I'm not Maya! Gahahahahaha!"
"Mia? What are you doing here?"
"No time to explain. I only have a few things to tell you though. My plant, Charley, hasn't been watered. Why not?"
"Eh? The plant? Why should I?"
Mia splashed some water on his cheek and slapped him. The water was to give that extra sting!
"Never question me again. I need him alive in case I ever need to go back...anyway, I also have just what you need to communicate to certain people who don't want to talk to you."
"Something you have that makes certain people talk to you...I think I know what you're going at." Phoenix wouldn't dare say what she had because he didn't want to be slapped.
And so they returned. Mia took a map, Phoenix didn't protest, and they found the kid again in the dressing room area.
"You guys again? Do I have to cut another ruler here? Huh?" The boy noticed Mia and the thing she had that Phoenix did not. He smiled and started becoming nervous. "Hi, nice lady. I really like your nice and big personality."
"Thank you! I'm sorry this man here doesn't have it. What's your name, cutie?"
"Cody Hackins! Here! Have some gifts! I got you my book of pictures with the Steel Samurai winning, a super rare card, and this Lego block!"
Phoenix swiped the card, making Cody accidentally drop the Lego block.
"I'll be taking this."
"Thank you little boy! We'll be going now, but we'll be back real soon. You! Get over here!"
Mia clenched onto Phoenix's ear and took him to another part of the map.
"The girl over there...make a deal with her with the cards."
Phoenix looked across the room and saw Penny.
"Her? Why her?"
"She's a nerd. Can't you tell by the tiny glasses, the freckles, and the petite body?"
"I guess, but do I really need to trade? We're going by this part so fast, we didn't even establish that we need a rare card to make Cody speak to us...but I just did that, didn't I? Well, I'm still not going to trade."
"Then what are you going to do?"
Phoenix ran and pushed Penny off the stairs. A pile cards fell out of her pocket and Phoenix took the shiniest card with him and left the card he had with her.
"Why do you hate me so much? If you wanted to trade, you could have just said so!"
Phoenix called her a loser before Mia slapped him and dragged him by the ear back to Cody.
"Here you go, Cody! A super special awesome chocolatey fudge coated rare super card. Tell us everything you know."
She gave him a warm smile and his heart melted.
"Okay. I was here the day of the murder and-"
Suddenly, Gumshoe jumped through the window and grabbed hold of Cody.
"This will be a valuable witness to Mr. Edgeworth! Thanks, pal!"
He took out a grappling hook, threw it to the sky, and he was pulled up into the sky like an angel.
Mia was not pleased.
"Screw this, I'm outta here!"
Mia left, leaving Phoenix alone.