*dodges flying fruit* IM SO SORRY! *Ducks a tomato* Really, I never planned to be gone so long! *blocks an orange* but life really sped up and before I knew it I was constantly busy making scarves, and homemade candy, and all THIS STUFF! *gets knocked out with a banana*
Okay, this chapter is a Pitch-centric fic (due to Mystichawk's meddlesome ways at making me love him and start comparing him to Loki who is also a fellow misunderstood character who only wants love and a family), and it was inspired by my mother…who blames the Boogeyman for everything.
"Oi!" Bunny aggravated tone cut through the air of Santoff Clausen accompanied by a petulant stomp "Who moved my paints?"
"It was Pitch," Jack mumbled oh-so-innocently from where he was lounging on a couch behind a book.
"And why would Pitch mess with my paints?" the Aussie hummed.
"Because he had an irrepressible urge to paint," Jack exclaimed waving one arm "I don't know!"
"Uh-huh," Aster grunted with an unconvinced roll of his eyes before yanking the book out of Jack's grasp and holding him up by the shirt collar "cough 'em up brain freeze."
"I don't got 'em," Jack growled back, each word punctuated by unhappy thrashes as he tried to force Bunny to drop him.
"Ya really think I would believe tha' Pitch pinched my paints?" Aster questioned one foot tapping impatiently.
Jack bit his pale bottom lip, aquiline eyes large and round in what he hoped was an innocent look "Maaaay-be?"
Aster leaned forward until their noses were almost touching, his emerald eyes searching for any hint of a lie, but they were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat.
"I don't mean to interrupt, but would someone explain what these are doing in my room?" Pitch drawled in his usual bored tone the Easter Bunny's bag of paint supplies dangling from one grey hand.
"HA! SEE!" Jack crowed as a breath of relief whooshed from his lungs "I TOLD you it was Pitch!"
North walked out of the garage where he kept his sleigh and the tools for maintaining it, his face a firm frown of confused frustration, and quickly made his way to the sitting room where he found Bunny curled up in front of the fire.
"Bunny," North grumbled "have you been using my tools again?"
"…No-ooo…" Bunny answered slowly his ears lowering to the back of his head as he tried to think of the most appropriate excuse to get the blame away from him and avoid incurring North's wrath.
"Then who did?"
Bunny winced, unsure of how to proceed, until an idea sparked in his brain causing his green eyes to widen "Pitch did it," he yipped softly.
"…Pitch…?" North asked with one white eyebrow raised.
"Yep, it was him." Bunny nodded vehemently.
North regarded the anthropomorphic with a steady gaze, a barely convinced grunt humming in his throat, before finally turning around and walking away towards Pitch's room to question the dark specter concerning his tools. Aster sighed with relief, a coil of guilt twisting in his stomach as he considered the fact that he had blamed Pitch for something he hadn't done, however the rabbit reasoned within himself that maybe blaming something on the Boogeyman wasn't too bad…if only this once.
Sandy returned to his favorite chair in the sitting room, his face a serene smile as he cast happy thoughts into the air concerning a book, a certain plate of cookies, and a cup of hot cocoa waiting for him there. Floating through the door and into the room, the golden man stopped, his mouth falling open in shock. The plate of cookies, and cup of hot chocolate, was both empty sitting solitary on a table by themselves.
Gold sand blew from his ears in a fume of anger, and the dream weaver sped away to North's study, slamming the door open while angry images of cookies, cups, and chairs flashed above his head in almost a blur of motion. North needed no translation, and grimaced, one hand unconsciously wiping away any cookie crumbs that may have fallen in his beard.
"Sandy, it was not me who took your cookies…" The man fumbled, not wishing to gain the Sandman's anger (for his idea of revenge was terrifying).
Sandman crossed his arms, an angry pout decorating his features, and his eyebrow rising towards the ceiling while a question mark floated overhead, very clearly asking Father Christmas 'And just who did?'
"W-Well…" North scrambled for an answer, his mind casting about for some means of getting himself out of hot water with the King of pranks, before suddenly an idea popped in his head and inexplicably out his mouth "It was…Pitch."
Both eyebrows shot towards his hairline as Sandy gawped at North "Pitch?"
"Yes," North said as he shook his head and shrugged in what he hoped was a convincing show of sympathetic sorrow "you know that he has a hopeless sweet tooth, and cookies are his favorite."
Sandy seemed not entirely persuaded to believe North, however out of fairness, the golden man sought out the Boogeyman determined to find the truth to who stole his cookies.
Sandman floated down the hallway that held all of their rooms, his eyes glowing with happiness, as he looked in each room and smiling as they respectively showed their owner's personality.
Drifting past Toothiana's room, the Sandman suddenly paused and backtracked, his face slowly coming back around the door frame as he peeked inside. Within the room on the bed lay a bunch of shopping bags, each labeled with the name of the store Tooth had gone into with Pitch at the mall.
Going inside, Sandy decided to cave into his snooper tendencies and rifle through the bags, looking at Tooth's purchases from while she was human. He found various shirts, skirts, shoes, and a beautiful black and gold necklace, but one thing he found made him stop, golden eyes widening in a severe state of shock.
A pair of leopard print silk panties hung from his hands, and the Sandman felt a blush rise to his face at the clothing article. What would Tooth want with these? She wasn't even human often enough to really wear them, but here they were, in his hands, causing his brain to go into fits that would surely evolve into a full out aneurism.
"One sec guys," a familiar female voice called from the hallway "I gotta get the camera from my room!"
Sandy felt his heart clench in fear as he panicked, Tooth was on her way there, and would arrive at any moment! Opening the window, the Golden man flew out of the castle, and sought the closest open window. Re-entering through the portal into what he discovered was Pitch's room, the dream weaver looked down and let out a silent scream as he realized he had not dropped Tooth's panties. Throwing them onto the Boogeyman's bed, Sandy flew from the room, slamming the door behind him only to find an irate Tooth muttering in her room.
"What…how…where are they?!" she whined.
Turning around the fairy caught a glimpse of the Sandman's retreating back "Sandy!" she called "Someone has been going through my bags, and something has gone missing, have you seen anyone in or near my room recently?"
Sandy struggled to school his features into careful neutrality, and shook his head violently.
"Right," Tooth tapped a finger to her lips before brightening "I just heard Pitch's door close recently, I bet he's there right now I'll ask him if he's seen anything."
Whirling around, the Tooth Fairy flew down the hall towards Pitch's bedchamber, causing Sandy to grab his head in sheer and utter panic, and scrunched his eyes shut as he waited for the inevitable explosion, and indeed it came in a spectacular manner.
"PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!" a shriek echoed throughout the workshop, causing any and all work to cease as the many residents of the Pole paused and gape in shock at the furious scream of the fairy.
"Oh dear God," Pitch mumbled, his topaz eyes widening with fear.
"Pitch," Jack whispered, placing a consolatory hand on the Boogeyman's shoulder "I don't know what you did, but it might be a good idea to run…like, now."
"No kiddin' mate," Bunny murmured with a frightened shiver "I've only seen the Sheila get like that a handful of times in my life as a Guardian, and I tell ya…it ain't pretty."
"But that's the thing," Pitch croaked in a frazzled tone "I don't know what I did! This past week has been nonstop false alarms, constantly getting blamed for things I have never done, and now I believe this will probably be the worst one yet."
North, Jack, and Bunny winced, each recollecting the circumstances where they foisted the blame onto the (shockingly) innocent Boogeyman, however any other forms of self reflection were halted as they decided to go find out what the Fairy was screaming about. Hesitantly the group made their way up the stairs and down the hall where Tooth was still fuming. Stepping through the door, Pitch was grabbed by an extremely angry fairy, her lavender eyes burning with violet fire.
"YOU!" she screeched.
"..WHAT..?!" Pitch yelped "What did I do?!"
"You stole…them?" Tooth spat "I mean, sure I bought them when we were together, but I told you not to look when they scanned them and I paid the cashier. How perverted can you get?!"
"What did he steal that you bought together?" Jack wondered, drawing the fairy's eyes to the doorway only to find her jaw dropping in shock and an intense blush set her face aflame as she saw that the other Guardians were also there watching the show.
"N-N-Nothing!" She stammered.
"If it's nothin'," Bunny put in with a casual shrug "why do ya look like yer gonna kill him?"
"B-Because…" The fairy struggled to come to a sensible conclusion without revealing the item Pitch had stolen.
"Actually," Pitch croaked from lack of oxygen due to Tooth holding his collar so tightly "I wouldn't mind knowing what it is you think I stole."
"You…what?" Toothiana hissed.
"I have no idea of what you claim I did," Pitch whined.
"You took these!" Tooth burst, forgetting her audience and showing Pitch the underwear.
Pitch grey face turned an even lighter shade of pale, and a blush dusted his cheeks as he gazed on them "…Oh…"
"Pitch…" Jack shook his head, one hand running through snowy locks "that's just low man."
"I can't even…I mean…REALLY?!" Bunny stammered.
Tooth looked down, realizing that her emotional outburst had revealed her dreaded secret, and even shoved it under the nose of the one she had originally asked not to look when she had bought them "…uh…" quickly releasing Pitch, she hid them behind her back and cleared her throat, struggling to regain her earlier irate form "D-Do you deny it?"
"Deny it?" Pitch felt one eye twitch as he began to hyperventilate, the events of the past week snowballing and landing square on his shoulders, causing the man's already fragile countenance to snap "All week I've been denying my involvement in a number of things and now THIS?! Of course I deny it!"
"Then how do you explain them being in YOUR bedroom?!" the female yelled.
"I DON'T KNOW!"
With a muttered angry snarl Pitch whirled around, and stomped out of the room leaving the group speechless.
Traveling in his shadows, the Boogeyman made his way to the kitchen, to what he knew would be his only escape, death via Hostess cream filled cupcakes.
Opening the cabinet, the dark specter yanked the box down from the shelf and slammed the cabinet shut with more force than was necessary. Throwing the box on the table, the man slumped into one of the chairs and dumped the entire box's contents onto the wood surface. Grabbing a chocolate cupcake, Pitch unwrapped it and shoved the whole thing in his mouth, chewing miserably.
"If I'm going to be blamed for something," he mumbled through cream filling and cupcake "I might as well actually be the one who did it!"
Grabbing another cupcake, Pitch unwrapped it, and toasted the man on the moon "Here's to being bad…for absolutely no understandable reason."
"Ya know," Bunny chuckled behind him "ya don't have ta stuff yerself with cupcakes."
"Why not?" Pitch said sticking tongue out petulantly before licking all the cream filling out of his current cupcake "We're in a state of truce, it isn't like I can attack you."
"So ya come down here, and gorge yerself on sweets?" the rabbit asked as one amused eyebrow lifted.
"It makes the pain more bearable," Pitch groused, licking his thumb free of cream and grabbing another cupcake "I get blamed for everything, even the houses that still believe in me. They don't fear the Boogeyman, they use me as a scapegoat. I have been accused of everything from stealing socks, to rearranging furniture!"
Bunny nodded with a sympathetic grunt, but was suddenly shoved aside by the other Guardians as they entered the kitchen and sat around the table. Tooth was particularly hesitant as she approached the Boogeyman and tugged gently on his robed arm "…Pitch…" she said softly.
"Go away," Pitch muttered his bottom lip sticking out in a distinct pout as he grabbed yet another cupcake "I don't wish to talk to you."
"Pitch listen to me," Tooth tried again, her Arabian silk eyes large and pleading for forgiveness.
"Why, you didn't listen to me?" the Boogeyman sighed taking a bite of fudge frosting.
"I know, and I'm sorry, I should have instead of jumping to conclusions."
Pitch paused, the hand holding his cupcake drifting back to the table "Do you mean it?"
"Yes," the fairy smiled gently.
"What changed your mind?" the specter asked.
"Well," Tooth gave a sly smile "Jack, Bunny, and North admitted that they were very mean to you this week, and let you take the credit for some things that they were actually responsible for."
"So you believe me that I didn't do it?"
"Yes!" Tooth exclaimed "I mean, you've shown you're not the type to do that kind of thing, and it was probably just the elves who did it."
"The elves?" Pitch asked incredulously.
"Yeah, the elves," Jack nodded vigorously "I mean, we all know they're troublemakers."
"I don't know-…" the dark man paused suddenly noticing Sandy twiddling his fingers and whistling silently "Sandy…was it you?"
"What, SANDY?!" Tooth laughed out loud "It couldn't be him…right?"
Turning around, Tooth gave the golden man a hard stare, noticing the nervous fidgeting and panicked glances, and her jaw once again dropped in shock as he finally flew up and made a mad dash for the door.
Ok, I know, not my best, but what do you think?
Let me know!