Authoresses' note: I'm a new writer and my first attempt at bwen. It's a one shot, cause I'm not really sure about the characterization. This ficlet may not be anatomically correct (I'm no doc). And also, I'm basically writing this to show my support in pregnancy awareness week.
I do not own Ben 10, only the plot.
Medical reports have an uncanny way of making emotional things restrained. Ben read and reread the report. 'Miscarriage' it simply stated. He blinked a few times and looked at the red-head curled up in their bed.
'Why dint she tell me about it?' he thought.
The answer quickly drew over him; he wasn't very supportive of a new member in the numerous conversations they had regarding family.
Nearly four months ago
"Aright, fine. You don't want a child. But, just tell me why... why you don't want one." Gwen said, her voice slightly rising.
"I don't have a reason. I just don't want one." his voice as calm as ever. Hearing this she nearly shouted "that's not good enough for me."
"Well, too bad. That's the only reason you're going to get." he said with a voice like ice, pushing Gwendolyn to her limit.
She wanted to snap. To shout. To scream at him. To pack her bags and dissolve their marriage. But she, as well as him, knew she wouldn't. She couldn't. She loved him too much. He, despite all his faults and flaws, was everything to her. Without him she would be lost. Completely and utterly , she stood there, like a girl who lost her favorite doll, sighed and after a moment withdrew.
And as always, once the long and uncomfortable minutes has passed, he would confront her and apologies as he made advanced towards her.
And as always, after her initial declines, she would give in. she always did. As though it was choreographed.
In a way, it was. Whenever they couldn't see eye to eye on a topic and communication failed between them. This is what they resorted to. His movements gently persuading her into accepting his decisions. His body would cajole hers in such a manner that she would soon forget what she wanted. In fact, as he looms over her, she would forget herself and be a part of him.
But, sometimes- like this time- even as she is consumed by the sensual mist; somewhere deep inside her, she would feel bullied.
"It's not like I don't like kids, sweetheart. I just don't want one now. We can have kids. Not now. A little later perhaps."
Between the mewing he earned; "when" she gasped
"Soon enough" he whispered into her ear and silenced her with a kiss, ending the conversation.
Remembering this incident, he thought 'the report said first trimester. So, she got pregnant after that….making this her third month…..nearly three months and she dint tell me about it' usually incidents like this would have simply upset him. But this time he felt something more than upset. Guilt. He felt guilt running in his veins as a little voice spoke in his head 'how come I didn't notice?'
Gwendolyn heard him climb into bed.
Ben slowly wrapped his arms around her. She flinched. This surprised him, he asked, "what's wrong?"
"Nothing" she sniffed
"It's fine, aright. I rather not talk about it."
After Hearing this, he kissed her neck and breathe "I know it not alright….I know you're in pain. But more importantly I know why you dint tell me. But, I"
I wanted to tell you" she spoke out "it's just I….I dint want you to freak out and-"
"And say 'no' without thinking?"
"Yeah….kinda" she sighed.
Gently the minutes ticked by. Quietly and bitterly. Before long she thought he had slept.
"I'm scared." Said a stained cracked voice. A voice so different from the one she was used to. She had a nanoseconds' trouble of placing it. "Ben" she whispered.
"I just don't want to screw up."
She turned to face him. If the voice had surprised her; then the sight shocked her, to say the least. There he was, with sad eyes and wet cheeks. Bound and broken by his own words and actions in the past. The man who had seen and held her whenever tears betrayed her; but, never have cried himself.
Except for that one time, when he had thought he had lost her forever.
"Ben" she whispered.
"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I was scared. I-"
"Its alright." she said and kissed him ever so softly. "I know you were scared. So am I."
"But Gwen, this wasn't you first."
For a second she was thrown off. And then the penny dropped. He knows about my past miscarriages.
"How did you know about those?"
"The doc told me…..that this wasn't your first D and G….and that he's worried about you."
"He told you everything?"
She sighed and rolled her eyes.
"Why dint you tell me about it?"
"Cause I knew it would happen."
She sighed again, "well….it all happened years ago…we were young, stupid and so in love…and I got pregnant for the first time." She paused.
Ben tilted his head to get a better look at her. She looked lovely as day.
"And I aborted it"
"How come I have no memory of this?"
"Because, I was 20, immature and scared as hell….also I dint tell you…or in fact… anyone….and now it's only natural that I get miscarriages…."
Ben looked at her. With pleading eyes filled with love he said "next time, please tell me about it. Cause, I wanna know about it and I wanna help you through it."
Hearing this, Gwen didn't say a word. Instead she pulled him into a warm embrace and thought, 'thank you.'
"And just for the record, I'm still so in love with you." He breathed.
First of all, thank you for reading. Oh. By the way, the D and G here refers to dilation and cleaning. [Not dolce and gabana.]
Alright…I know it's not much…but it's been in my head for some time now… thought that I should put it out there.
Got something to tell me? Reviews, thoughts, tips, tricks, whatever it is… tell me about it & I'd appreciate it.
p.s: please be kind.