A/N: Me and my brother were acting stupid one night and got to talking about the things Tsunade would say to Sakura if she was caught drunk. And this is what we came up with. Half the credit goes to my little bro! (thank you)
Enjoy, and have fun!
I do not own Naruto in no such way. Kishimoto is my legendary hero. . ^^
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Sakura walked into Tsunade's office, and sighed when noticing the piles and piles of paperwork stacked high on her desk. She didn't understand why she couldn't finish the paperwork. If she didn't want so much work then don't let it pile up. Finish them, and then you'll be free to do whatever. It made no sense to her but she remembered that she wasn't the Hokage.
Remembering what she was in the office for, she walked up to Tsunade's desk.
"You called me Lady Tsunade?"
Tsunade sat down the empty bottle to the desk, with her eyes half-lidded. She moved a loose strand of blonde hair from her face, and folded her arms on the desk.
"Ohhhhhh Sakura. I called called you here for one reason only. You like beer Sakura? I like beer. Apple pies are apples. Apples come from tress, and trees come from apples."
"I don't care."
Sakura rose an eyebrow.
"Okay, let's get rid of all that sake that you're hiding in that drawer."
Sakura walked around the her desk, and opened the left drawer and took all 12 bottles of sake in her arms, and walked back around the desk.
"Noooooo don't take away my babies! I wanna have babies. No wait, I wanna be a father."
"I wanna be a mother?"
"Tsunade, what- "
"Life is what?"
"Life is horrible."
Sakura coughed awkwardly. "O-kay?"
"Wings have birds."
"Tsunade, I don't understand- "
"Corns have candy! I like sake. You like sake?"
"Yeah, nobody cares. Blue is a sky."
"You mean blue is a color?"
"Yes? No? I don't know. I love you."
"Let's make hot, passionate love on the desk. No scratch that. Let's do it on the floor. You mind doing it on the floor?"
"Yeah, probably not. Give my babies back! I need them to breathe!"
"How are you breathing now?"
"Yeah but I'm barely making it! Jiraiya's sexy."
"Do you think he's sexy? No? Okay. Wait- no scratch that. I'm pregnant."
"TSUNADE!? SNAP OUT OF IT!"
"My water just broke."
'I need a new job.'
A/N: I hope you spontaneous readers enjoyed this little one-shot I made. I may write another chapter, but it all depends on if you guys liked it enough for me to continue on with the randomness. :)
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