A/N: That episode? Perfect.
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. I don't even need to.
She lies there for what feels like forever.
(A blissful forever, of course, but forever nevertheless).
She hears people hurrying up and down the corridors, talking quickly, discussing missions. She can't bring herself to care in the slightest.
The bed is only just big enough for the two of them so they're pushed together tightly, skin on skin, arms and legs a tangled mess underneath thin, white sheets.
(She remembers she always hated the Division beds. The mattresses were uncomfortable, the blankets were scratchy and the sheets smelt of sterilizer).
His hands are absent-mindedly tracing patterns on her stomach and she can feel the rise and fall of his chest as it's pressed against her bare back. It's weird and foreign to her, being like this. She's never really been the cuddling type.
(She supposes it comes from her time in slavery: you did the business, that was it).
Even with Nathan, she wasn't particularly fond of lying around in bed, sweet-talking and such. Yet for some, mystery reason – Sean's distinct scent, his gentle voice, his young, boy-ish features and chocolate brown eyes just spelled her to stay here with him, gazing up at the ceiling. She can feel herself starting to drift off to sleep, which probably isn't the best idea considering they're still inside Division walls.
Nikita's probably looking for her, hoping to check up on her rehabilitation and also, to inquire whether there had been any progress on her relationship with Sean during this mission. Alex can't help but chuckle quietly at that. Man, has there been progress.
'What?' he murmurs, poking her gently in the middle.
'Nothing,' she smiles, craning her neck to kiss him. His lips twitch upwards against hers and she can practically feel the happiness radiating off of him. His arms come sliding around her, pulling her closer if that's even possible (and she didn't think it was).
'I love you,' he breaths and she thinks it must've been the millionth time he's said it. Before she can even open her mouth to answer him, he's stolen another kiss. He nips at her bottom lip, causing her to giggle and weave her fingers through his dark, soft, ruffled hair.
'We should get out of here,' Alex sighs finally and the moment she says it, the mattress and pillows and sheets all suddenly seem to become infinitely more comfortable.
'We should go back to my place,' Sean suggests with a cheeky grin.
'I would,' Alex begins, 'but I've been staying with Nikita the last few weeks. With Michael staying here in medical, it's hard for her to be alone at their apartment. She's helping me get stable again too.'
'Stable?' Sean echoes, confusion painted onto his face. 'Why are you unstable?'
Realisation crashes down on her and she can almost see the words in flashing lights:
He doesn't know.
'Noone told you?' she croaks, her chest becoming tight and the bed immediately uncomfortable.
'Told me what?' Sean asks anxiously. He doesn't demand. His right hand moves to link their fingers and Alex knows instantly that she can trust him not to walk out.
'I relapsed,' she whispers.
His eyes grow wide and his entire body stiffens. 'When?' is all he stammers out.
'About a month ago,' Alex mumbles. 'I've been getting better since our last mission with Amanda when it all came out. I mean, it's been hard, seeing as we have Michael's rehabilitation to worry about too but I think we're both on our way to being ready to get back into the field.'
'Was it because of me?'
Alex is taken aback by the question, her eyes darting up to meet his heartbreakingly scared ones. She raises a gentle hand to his cheek, running her thumb over a purpling bruise there.
'You were one of the reasons,' she admits truthfully. 'But you were also one of the things that drove me to get better.'
'I figured you wouldn't want a girl who was damaged goods.'
(It's the truth. Thom knew she was an addict – that was it. Nathan knew even less. Didn't even know the first thing about her. Sean knows she has a past but it's just that: the past. Alex remembers all the times recently that she lay awake, wondering if he would take her back if he knew she'd toppled over the edge again).
Now, she's genuinely curious for what he has to say.
He doesn't say a word. Just gazes down at her with a look that sends shivers up her spine. Eventually, his silence prompts unease to grow inside her and she pushes him off of her, gently enough not to hurt his recent injuries.
'Say something!' she begs, sitting up abruptly. The sheet falls off her shoulder, resting on her knee and it's a weight that she shakes off in irritation.
'I love you,' he repeats, softer this time. 'That's all there is to say.'
Tears of frustration overflow down Alex's cheeks and she lets out an angered growl.
'What the hell is wrong with you?' she shrieks. 'I'm a mess, Sean! I'm broken! I'm a wreck! All I am good for is being in this goddamn fight! What the hell do you see in someone like me?'
Sean sits up, his face inches from hers. 'Your heart,' he replies easily. 'That's what I see in you. Since you were twelve, you've kept it boxed up and safe from harm and when you met Nikita, you slowly brought it out for the world to see. Now, it's been broken and bruised so many times that you believe that you don't deserve the love that you're willing to give to everyone else. That is what I see, Alex. That's why I love you. And I'm here because I want to prove to you what you deserve.'
'I don't have anything to give you,' Alex whispers, sniffing.
'Do you love me?'
'Yes. So much that it hurts.'
'I don't need anything else.'
Alex wishes she would stop crying but the tears are streaking down her cheeks – the tears for him that she refused to shed in front of anyone, even Nikita. The ones that had lulled her to sleep for God knows how many nights.
'Ugh,' she murmurs with a flat laugh, roughly wiping the tears from her cheeks. 'I really am a mess now.'
'Hey, hey, hey,' Sean soothes, catching her wrists in his hands. 'No you're not. You're beautiful, like always. Now come here.' He pulls her back towards him, his lips colliding with hers and she loops her arms around his neck, breaking the kiss after a few seconds to nuzzle her face in his neck.
'You know what we should do?' she says, words coming out muffled.
'Play matchmakers. Get Michael and Nikita back together.'
'I'm up for that. Rope in Birkhoff, Ryan, Sonya and Owen.'
Alex pulls away, a proper grin on her face. 'You are perfect,' she says decidedly.
Sean's face softens. 'And you need to go find Nikita. Head home. It's late.'
Alex swallows. 'Sean, please don't start treating me like I'm fragile.'
'I'm not going to,' he promises. 'I'm not saying this on your behalf, I'm saying this on Nikita's. These missions without having Michael on the field have to be hard on both of them. She'll need you.'
Alex rests her forehead on his, her breath ghosting on his lips, wanting nothing more in that moment than to stay here with him for a thousand more forevers to come.
'I love you,' he says again, softly and in barely a whisper.
She guesses that must make it a million and three times he's told her now. She's got a hell of a lot of catching up to do.
'I love you too.'
A/N: Ah, nothing warms my heart more than the sound of my OTP becoming canon. Meanwhile, reviews are nice too.