So this is written from a prompt, which is at the end of the story.
Dearest Dana, I know how much you love AUs, but your prompt put me in a bit of a pickle. I climbed inside a giant pickle and am now writing this. Now I really want pickles.
"Rose! Come see, this is fantastic!" The Doctor hollered, Rose assumed from the control room. She just smirked and tried to make her presence less obvious. It was the Doctor's idea to play hide and seek, turns out he's not particularly good at it, especially when the TARDIS is on her side. "This is ridiculous! You're my TARDIS, you should be helping me!" he shouted in exasperation. The TARDIS sort of hummed in response.
Nine minutes passed before she heard his voice again. "I give up! Rose you win okay?", Rose chuckled and slowly made her way to the control room, where she found the Doctor sitting on the small seat, long denim clad legs stretched out in from of him, his leather jacket draped over the back rest. She paused to take in the look of well, him. He looked up when her foots steps no longer echoed through the room. Rose met his eyes and smiled widely at him and half skipped over to take a seat beside him.
"I win, eh? What does that mean?" Rose asked, tucking on leg under herself and turned to face him.
"Means anything you want it to mean really." Rose leaned back and thought about what he meant by that. The Doctor got up and began to get the TARDIS ready to go, Rose watched him as he went about the motions. He finished and looked up and over at her. "Well? Any ideas, what do you want for your win?" Rose stared hard into his eyes.
"You are going to take me back to Earth, you are then going to go buy orange juice." He was about to respond when she cut him off, " I've been craving orange juice for a week now and you," she pointed accusingly at him, "have kept putting it off. Always mumbling about milk. We've got enough bloody milk!... Do you have something in particular against orange juice?"
"Of course milk! We can get that while we're there too, good thinking Rose." She groaned. "Milk deserves to be mumbled about, shouted about, even sung about! The whole universe and only Earth has the animals for it! That is just ridiculous. Okay Rose Tyler, I will get your orange juice if you promise to try some banana juice!" Rose scrunched up her face.
"Hey! No, I won therefore you do not get to negotiate with my terms. I still can't believe you even have banana juice, it looks like a giant glass of-" she stopped herself and looked down, biting her lip. Her body slowly started shaking with the force of her silenced giggles. The Doctor straightened, crossing his arms, eyebrows knitting together.
"I just-" she managed to say, the rest tumbled out in one breath "- remembered something Jack said last time he was here and you were just sitting there looking so very pleased with your glass of banana juice."
"It's very difficult to be displeased with a glass of banana juice, bananas are good." Rose's giggles were becoming much more audible. Red faced with a giant grin on her face, she looked up to meet his gaze again. She composed her face as much as she could into a look of seriousness.
"Doctor," she said slowly. He rolled his eyes a bit.
"Yes, Rose?" her mask cracked and she started turning red again trying to supress the laughter, fanning herself with her hand, she looked back into his eyes.
"Jack umm, well he wanted, and me to say, so , this- Doctor, what does Time Lord semen taste like?" Her composure finally fell apart with the bewildered look in his face. Rose sank to the floor; hold her abdomen, her laughter turned into the silent wheezing kind. The Doctor took it all in and started laughing along with her, slowly sliding down the support he was leaning against until he was sprawled on the floor beside her.
After about ten minutes their mirth died down, mostly.
"So, what did you tell him?" The Doctor asked, turning his head to look at her. She smiled up at him, tongue peeking through her teeth.
"Well I told him the truth; I said 'I don't know about all Time Lords, but that one over here, his tastes like bananas." She started chuckling again, "you should've seen the look on his face. He believed me! Bananas, can you imagine!" The Doctor reached over and took her hand, giving it an affectionate squeeze. "Oh but the best bit Doctor, was his reply. He just looked back over at you, shrugged and said 'Not surprinsg.'". They started chuckling once more.
Rose rolled over into the Doctor's side, propped her head on his chest, making her fingers march around his abdomen. "But Doctor, I can tell you this now, if your semen ever starts to taste like bananas, I will be surprised." She smiled and buried her face into his chest, placing gentle kisses over both heart. "Don't forget about my orange juice." She mumbled.
"Oh no of course not!" He got up as quickly as he could without totally throwing Rose off of him. "Now where are we going to go, Earth? Nah, do that all the time. Let's go somewhere else. There's one planet, ooh you'll like it there Rose!, and they have these fruits, that look like kiwis, but when you peel the skin off you've got an orange! Just shaped like a kiwi. We'll make our very own orange juice Rose Tyler! It will be fantastic! Mmm yes homemade orange juice for my Rose. Only down side is we'll have to gather them ourselves. We're going to have to stand in front of the end of a slope, the 'oranges' roll down the slope and right into our awaiting bags. Timing's the key though; the ground does have a tendency of opening up. Don't want to be falling down there. Oh no no no… To the planet of the rolling fruit!" With one final tweak to the controls the Doctor bent and helped Rose to her feet. "Race you to the pool?"
"You're on!" Rose started taking of her clothes, significantly distracting the Doctor who was about to bolt. "HA! I've been wearing my bathing suit under everything since the last time. I came prepared to this party!" With that she ran off. The Doctor quickly regained composure and ran after her. "Rose! That's not fair!" Her delighted cackles resonated through the corridor.
"All's fair in love and war!"
"Oh I'll show you fair, Rose Tyler." With that he jumped into the pool.
Those were the last coherent words either of them said for a while.
Hello my beautiful readers! Okay, so I typed this out as quick as I could. I'm falling asleep as I'm typing this so forgive me for spelling/grammar/tense contingency usage.
There were a couple other versions I had in my head, this one seems like the most amusing and just fluffy out of all of them.
Prompt from Dana: Nine/Rose, include the line "What does time lord semen taste like?" somewhere, and somehow incorporate orange juice because why not.
Dana if you didn't like this at all then I'm going to jump off a cliff and fly into the sun.
Please review. Press that sexy review button you sexy beast you.