Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Just a fun little Destiel I wrote. I usually don't write happy Destiels, but I decided to try this time. Hope you like it!
Rated Kplus for strong language.
Dean woke feeling slightly uneasy. His first reaction was to look over to Sam—because what would make Dean worry in his sleep other than his brother?—but Sam was sleeping soundly in the next bed over. Dean sat up quickly, gun in his hand and aimed without having to consciously think about it.
Then Dean huffed in relief, because the presence he had felt near him was Castiel.
"Do you have to do that?" Dean muttered.
"No. I could stop," Castiel replied.
Dean sighed, and then shook his head. "It might sound stupid, but the thought that you're watching out for me while I'm asleep is kind of comforting."
"That isn't stupid. I keep you safe when you can't do it yourself. Everyone needs someone to do that for them."
Dean gazed at Castiel for a quiet moment. "Then who does that for you?" he asked.
"I'm an angel. I don't need protection."
Dean smiled a little. "We both know that isn't true."
"I can take care of myself."
"Yeah, and I can take care of myself too. That isn't really the point, is it? The point is, it makes us feel better to know there's someone that will always be there."
"So what are you here for?" Dean asked. "You didn't just come to watch me sleep, did you? That'd be creepy."
"I wanted to take you somewhere."
Dean immediately looked to Sam.
"He'll be safe," Castiel said. "I would never let anything happen to Sam, you know that."
Dean smiled gratefully at Cas' sentiment towards Sam and stood up. "Where're we going then?"
Castiel, instead of responding, walked towards the motel door and went outside. Dean followed without hesitation. When he got outside, Cas was just standing there, looking at the sky.
"What're you—" Dean was able to say before Castiel grabbed him around the waist and sprang up from the ground. "Holy crap!" Dean howled before he had the sense not to yell in the middle of the night. They landed a few seconds later on the roof of the motel. "You can actually fly with your wings?" he asked, sounding frantic still. Castiel sat down with his knees tucked in, so Dean did the same.
"Of course. Why wouldn't I be able to fly with wings?"
"But I've never seen you do it before."
Castiel just shrugged, then reached down and picked something up. He had three or four feathers in his hand. They were bright white, almost seeming to glow in the inky night. "You pulled some out," Castiel said.
"Wait, are those your feathers?" Dean asked.
"But your wings aren't actually there, are they?"
"Yes they are. You just can't see them."
Dean gazed at the feathers for a few moments. They were actually kind of beautiful. He found that he was smiling vacantly at them. Castiel looked up and noticed.
"Do you want them?" Cas asked.
Dean shook his head to clear it and met Castiel's clear blue gaze. It made his throat feel dry—even after seeing those eyes so many times, they still startled him a little. "That's okay," Dean muttered, looking at his feet.
Castiel scooted closer to Dean. "Here," he said, holding the feathers out. Dean looked over to them, feeling silly for wanting them so badly, but then gave in and took them. They were even more amazing to touch than they were to look at. They were like velvet and silk at the same time, and somehow made him feel lighter, like some invisible worries that always sat on his shoulders were temporarily lifted.
"They can be used for spells," Castiel said, "and rituals."
Dean looked over to Cas. "I'm not letting anyone use these for anything," he replied. Cas met his eyes and they were caught staring at each other. "So why did we come up here?" Dean asked, idly letting his fingers graze the feathers in his hand.
"To get away," Castiel said.
"No. From everything. Even as you sleep, you look uneasy."
"Going up on a roof won't make my life any safer."
Castiel nodded. "I know. But maybe you can ignore it for a little bit. I don't think I've seen you relax since the day we met."
Dean shrugged. "It's hard to relax when there's some son of a bitch or another ready to kill you all the time."
"Dean," Castiel said, his voice suddenly filled with passion. It made Dean glance back over and get caught in the angel's eyes again. His lips parted as he tried to breathe normally. "I would never let anyone kill you. That's why I'm here, watching over you. To keep you safe."
"A guardian angel," Dean said, only half meaning to say it out loud.
"Exactly. I'm always watching over you."
"When you don't have other angel duties to attend to."
"No," Castiel said a little sharply. "Always. Even when I'm elsewhere, doing what I need to do, I'm watching you."
Dean felt a small smile find his lips as he kept looking at Castiel. His guardian angel. Dean was going to make a joke, about how he didn't know whether to be thankful or creeped out, but the words died in his throat as Castiel continued to look at him with nearly tangible intensity. Suddenly Dean wished he could watch over Castiel too, but he was only human. He couldn't be in two places at once. Sometimes he didn't have time to think about Castiel at all, with all the things constantly happening in his life.
But it was moments like this when those things really didn't matter. While he caressed Castiel's feathers with his fingers and caressed Castiel's face with his eyes, he could almost forget about everything else. Dean found himself absently reaching out, though he wasn't sure exactly what he was reaching for. Then his hand found its destination, which ended up being Castiel's palm. Cas' hand slid a few inches until his hand was directly under Dean's, and then he let their fingers intertwine. Dean squeezed Castiel's hand tight, as if Cas might float away if Dean loosened his grip even a little. Instead of wincing at Dean's overly-zealous grip, Castiel grasped Dean's knuckles just as tightly back, as if Castiel had the same fears that Dean did—that if either of them let go, the other might be taken from them.
"And yes, I guess that makes me 'creepy'," Castiel added.
Dean smiled a little, then leaned over and kissed Cas on the cheek. Castiel turned, his eyes a little wide. Dean wasn't the type to initiate things like that. "Honestly… the thought that you're watching me all the time makes me feel a lot better. About everything."
"Good. Because I'm not going to stop. I was lying when I said I would. The second I stop paying attention will be the moment when you need an angel most. If I don't look for one minute, the next you'll be gone," he finished solemnly.
Dean wanted to promise Castiel that everything was going to be okay, that Dean wouldn't leave Castiel alone, but he knew he couldn't honestly promise that. Dean had been living on borrowed time since before he even met Cas. Any moment could be his last.
So all he could do was hope that having an angel watching over him was enough to keep him alive. Because Dean had forgotten the point of being alive at all until he fell in love with Cas.
Fell in love. Dean had never said those words before, not even in his head, but it was stupid to avoid them. It was so obvious that it was painful sometimes.
Dean's inner-dialogue made him feel more sentimental than usual, so he lay down on the roof and held his arms out for Castiel to lay with him. Castiel's lips just barely flicked up—this was the angel's version of a smile. Dean wound his arms around Castiel and was surprised to find that he could feel the wings against his arm. It was in a weird sort of way, like they were only half there, but he felt the silky feathers beneath his fingers. He allowed his fingertips to lightly stroke the wings and Castiel's eyelids fluttered closed as if the touch were extremely pleasurable.
"I've never felt these before," Dean said. He'd stood behind Castiel before, even cuddled with him once or twice, but he couldn't recall ever feeling wings.
"I'm letting you feel them," Castiel said, his voice even huskier than usual. "They're a little… sensitive. I usually don't let anyone touch them."
"I could stop," Dean said.
"Don't," Castiel replied, eyes still closed, and Dean smiled and continued to gently sweep his fingertips against the feathers.
"Did it hurt when I pulled some out?" Dean asked.
"Yes," Castiel said quietly. "But I don't mind hurting for your sake."
The words made Dean smile. He didn't want Castiel to hurt for him, but knowing that someone other than his brother was willing made him a little happy. Everyone Dean had ever loved was dead, but even through everything he and Cas had been through, here Castiel was, leaning into his chest. He was breathing deeply, as if he might fall asleep. Cas nuzzled his face into Dean's neck and Dean embraced him more tightly. Dean suddenly felt tired, only just remembering that Castiel had woken him in the middle of the night. Dean let his eyes droop shut.
Dean woke with the sun in his eyes. The first thing he did was hold up his left hand, in which Castiel's feathers that Dean had pulled out on accident were still sitting. In the light, they were still white, but with a silver and gold sheen shining in the sunlight.
Then he glanced over at Castiel, who seemed to be asleep. He wasn't sure angels actually needed to sleep, but Cas looked so peaceful this way. And the best thing about it was that Castiel was still there. In Dean's life, all the good things seemed to leave. All he had left was Sam, which he was grateful for, but sometimes someone needed more than one thing to hold on to. But Cas was pressed to Dean's side, showing that maybe not every good thing in life disappeared in the darkness.
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