Old Orochi was hoppin' around the Celestial Plains like a big playground,
When suddenly Nameless Man burst from the spot, and hit Orochi with a big ol' pot.
Orochi got ticked and began to attack, but didn't expect to be blocked by Rao,
Who proceeded to open up a can of paper-fu, when Samurai Dandy came out of the blue
And he beat up ol' Ninetails-as-Rao, then they both got hurt by Madame Fawn somehow,
But before she could make it back to her creepy cave, a dead Celestial popped out of its grave.
Took a large exorcism slip out from under its wings, and blew Madame Fawn up with a comical ping,
But they ran out of money and they ran away because Daidarabotchi came to save the daaaay.

This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny.
Brush gods, monsters, and explosions as far as the eye can see,
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be.
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny.

Orochi took a bite out of Daidarabotchi like the eight-headed monster took a bite out of me. (Wait, what?)
Then Rao came back, though all her prayer slips, she lacked, and Onigiri Sensei simply landed on her back.
Nameless man was injured and trying to get steady, when the dead Celestial came back with a machete,
But suddenly something caught his leg, as he feared; the old Mr. Orange took him out with his beard.
Then he saw Godzilla sneaking up from behind, and he reached for his glaive, which he just couldn't find
Because Nameless Man stole it, and he threw, but he missed
And Onigiri Sensei just blocked it with his fist.
Then he jumped in the air and flipped his head around
While the dead celestial launched off from the ground
Onto Daidarabotchi, but they collided in the air,
Then they both ran away from Yami's fishy-like stare.

This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny.
Brush gods, monsters, and explosions as far as the eye can see,
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be.
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny.

Fangirls sang out, and all shook a maraca.
Down from the moon, descended Ushiwaka,
Who delivered a kick with his tall stilettos
Into the crotch of Hayazo, 'cuz he tried to act ghetto,
Who fell onto the ground, wishing he had mace,
While Nameless Man changed his name to Yourface,
But Waka saw through the disguise with ease
And stabbed Nameless Man with Pillowtalk, then walked off to eat some cheese.

Then Lika the young and Kemu the old,
All Oina and their leader, Samickle, who's so cold,
Amaterasu,
Chibiterasu,
And monster slip, Tobi,
And the author, Shikibu.

Fuse,
The mailman, Ida,
Sakuya,
Fang trader, Kiba,
Kagu,
Yatsu,
Even shrine watcher, Mika.

Urashima,
And ugly Akuro,
Otohime,
Tei,
Rei,
And little Kurow
All arrived on scene out of hammerspace, and they whooped Ushiwaka and his beautiful face;
It was the bloodiest battle that Nippon ever saw, with civilians looking on in total awe.

The fight raged on for 100 years, many met their demise, but after all the tears,
The champion stood, oblivious to the trauma,
Mr. Chic in bloodstained hakama.

This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny.
Brush gods, monsters, and explosions as far as the eye can see,
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be.
This is the ultimate showdown,
(This is the ultimate showdown)
This is the ultimate showdown,
(This is the ultimate showdown)
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny.