I wanted implied Sebastian/Ciel rambling. I wrote Sebastian/Ciel rambling. I have nothing more to say, except for I don't own it, so please don't sue me XD
A wish, a cry, a plea, a promise.
These are the things that bind Sebastian Michaelis to Ciel Phantomhive. Between a child that teetered on the edge of darkness, and a man that lost his light long ago. There's a certain hunger to both of them, burning desires that cannot truly be fulfilled.
When Sebastian holds him, the gaping void inside of him subsides some small degree. When he cradles him close, he almost (almost) feels human. But the moment he loses that touch, that coldness, returns, and he feels the chasm inside him again.
When Ciel is held, he is comforted. He can close his eyes, and pretend it is his father holding him. Sometimes, on dark, lonely nights with no moon, he would spend hours letting Sebastian hold him, talking to him about everything and yet nothing in particular. Just to hear another voice.
Sebastian cradles him after he falls asleep, stroking his soft, blue hair and crooning softly in his ear. It feels so human, so weak, and yet Sebastian has no intention of stopping. He supposes he can't quite get rid of this one last tiny shred of humanity that lingered in the chasm where his heart should be.
Besides, those rare moments where the child would call for him in his sleep, his voice so soft and desperate, were more than worth any nagging feeling in his mind.
"I'm here, young Master."
Too loud. Everything's too loud.
Ciel buries his head in his pillow, trying to soothe the horrid throbbing inside his head.
He had lessons to do with Sebastian in just a few minutes. Then he had to review his sales and profits from the last month, Lizzy was coming over in the afternoon...
A sound suspiciously like breaking glass shatters his eardrums, Bard starts shouting, Mey-Rin is apologizing profusely, Finny is crying, and god damn it, that's enough!
He storms out of his room and marches downstairs, his pounding temples reaching an ever more painful crescendo. Broken glass and water crunch and
splash under his shoes, grating against his ears.
"That's ENOUGH!" Ciel screams, brimming with frustration. "I want it quiet, do you understand me?! That's an order, all of you!"
The three of them fall silent instantly, withering under his burning glare.
Sebastian comes in the room, bringing the smell of whatever he was preparing for that afternoon.
Suddenly, Ciel feels nauseous.
"Young Master, are you alright?"
Sebastian takes a step backward under the harsh, passionate command.
"Not another word, any of you! I don't want-"
But he never does get to say what he doesn't want, because right then, he sways where he stands and plummets forward.
Before any of the others can do any more than yelp, Sebastian springs forward and takes Ciel in his arms, sweeping him up before he can hit the ground.
"Oh dear! Young Master, what's wrong?" Mey-Rin and Finny cry in unison, but Sebastian hushes them sharply.
"I'll be taking the Young Master to bed now. Get this mess cleaned up and get back to work at once."
Though his voice is perfectly calm and level, there is a dangerous glint in Sebastian's eyes that the servants know to fear. Immediately, Mey-Rin scurries off to get a broom, Finny rushes back to the garden, and Bard retreats to the kitchen.
Sebastian returns Ciel to his room and sets him on the bed. He tugs the glove off his right hand with his teeth, and sets it on Ciel's forehead.
Young Master seems to be running a fever. So that's why he's so ill-tempered. I wish he would have told me earlier.
Cold beads of sweat are gathering on Ciel's skin, his cheeks bright read, his breath unsteady.
He brushes the boy's hair out of his face, and sits on the end of the bed for a small eternity.
After a time, Ciel half-opens his uncovered eye, raising his head from the pillow looking around the dark room.
"I drew the curtains and closed the door for you, Young Master. And I assure you the others will remain quiet."
Sebastian's deep voice is quiet and soothing on Ciel's frayed nerves. His hand is soft and cool against his face. He falls back against the pillow with a heavy sigh.
"You gave me quite a scare, young Master. Are you alright?" Sebastian asked.
Ciel slaps his hand away.
"I'm fine. I just have a headache."
Sebastian frowns, dark brow knitting together.
He takes Ciel's chin in his long, slender fingers and pulls his face in close.
"Young Master...you shouldn't be so stubborn. It's alright to show weakness every once in awhile. You're only human."
Ciel opens his mouth to retort, but all he manages is a tiny whimper.
Sebastian raised an eyebrow.
"What hurts, young master?"
"My head...my whole body...it hurts..."
Sebastian beckons for Ciel to come in closer. Ciel crawls over and lays his head in Sebastian's lap. He lets him stroke his hair like he's so fond of doing,
and mutter reassuring nothings to him.
I shouldn't be comforted by a demon. Sebastian should frighten me. But...but I'm not afraid.
He feels nice.
Sebastian hums a lullaby in the wrong key, rocking back and forth gently. His voice vibrates in his chest, lulling the child into a stupor.
Ciel's eyelid flutters shut, lashes brushing his fever-flushed cheek.
"Stay with me..." he murmurs, barely more than warm air on Sebastian's stomach.
Sebastian pulls Ciel's tiny body close to him, strong arms wrapping around the frail boy. This urge to protect...this urge to care for...it's completely new to him.
"...I'm here, young Master."
Elizabeth makes herself at home on Ciel's shoulder, huddling up on the picnic blanket to keep her dress from getting dirty.
The air was warm, and the sun was smiling down on the quiet afternoon. Finny and Bard were splashing in the creek nearby, while Mey-Rin cheered them on. Ciel looked on with a perfectly composed face.
"Would you like one, Young Master?"
Sebastian held a large, deep red apple in his outstretched hand, almost the same color as his auburn eyes.
Ciel regarded his eyes, and then the apple, for a few minutes. Then, he took the apple from Sebastian's left hand, examining it critically.
"Now, young Master, I would never poison you. It won't kill you if you eat it."
The boy stared at the apple for another little while, then sunk his teeth deep into the crisp flesh, its warm, sour juices exploding inside his mouth. He chews it carefully, regarding the chasm left in the crimson fruit, start white in contrast.
He takes another bite. This time it is sweet.
A wish, a cry, a plea, a promise. These are the things which bind the demon Sebastian to the tiny Earl of Phantomhive. But sometimes, they pretend their bond is a little more than that.
Thanks for reading my random rambling through :) I'd love any reviews you may want to toss my way :)