Disclaimer: I don't own my sanity or Total Drama.
"Hello?" Chris answered his phone dreading the number that wasn't listed in his phone calling him.
"Chris?" Harold answered "Hey, it's Harold and I heard about the contract thing! Can you give me a ride to Leshawna's house?"
"I don't really have a choice." Chris groaned "I'm in front of Courtney's house right now. Do you live anywhere near her?"
"Yes, I live about 3 blocks away from her." Harold told him "You may find this hard to believe but Courtney and I don't hang out that much. You would think we would hang out more as we are the two contestants who live the closest to each other."
"No Harold, I do not find it surprising at all that Courtney does not hang out with you." Chris told Harold "I find it more surprising that Leshawna actually does."
"Oh, This would be the first time I'm going to her house." Harold told him "She has no clue that we're even coming!"
"Harold, I suggest you call Leshawna and ask her if you could come over to her house." Chris glanced at the clock in his car "Meet me on the corner and I'll come and get you. It's going for 7pm so you better hurry, I have other things to do."
Chris drove 3 blocks over to the corner and slammed the horn on his car down until Harold eventually came out of some house that Chris didn't even care about. Chris parked at least 6 houses away from Harold's actual house and that forced Harold to walk to the car which he wasn't happy about.
"Curse you for parking so far away!" Harold told Chris as he got in the passenger seat. "For the future my house is the green one with the pathway that leads to the house! We have the lawn flamingos."
"I could care less." Chris sighed "Okay, so I'm taking you to Leshawna's house and then I'm going home so let's make this quick."
"Okay Chris, So I looked Leshawna's house on Google maps and I found that she lives in Petersburg which is 3 hours away from my beloved." Harold said as he made kissy faces at his printed out Google map.
"So you expect me to drive 3 hours so you can visit Leshawna?" Chris glared at Harold "Listen, if I'm driving you 3 hours to Leshawna's house, you're staying the night at Leshawna's house!"
"You mean it?!" Harold asked "That's like a dream come true!"
"Yeah, I'm not driving your ass everywhere under the sun!" Chris informed Harold "As a matter of fact the second I get home, I'm going to call my lawyer and have my lawyer fight with Courtney's lawyer for yet the 3rd time."
"I bet you lose." Harold told him as if it were fact. Harold then stated playing with the radio stations in Chris's car. Harold couldn't pick a station at all and proceeded to do this for almost 5 minutes.
"Stop it!" Chris yelled at Harold as he made a sharp left turn.
"Do you have any gum?" Harold asked Chris "What happens if we get lost?"
"Harold, I don't like gum." Chris told him rolling his eyes "If we get lost it's your fault because I'm going where ever the fuck your stupid Google map tells me!"
"Harold, answer the phone!" Chris threw his cell phone at Harold.
"I don't know the number." Harold told him "What if it's a telemarketer?"
"Then you can talk to him on our 3 hour drive to Leshawna's house!" Chris told Harold.
"Give it to me!" Chris snatched the phone and answered it "Hello?!"
"Chris, It's Heather." Heather spoke into the phone "Listen, Courtney sent me an email saying that you have to take me anywhere I want to go."
"Yeah, so I've heard." Chris told her.
"Chris, it's dangerous to talk on the phone while driving!" Harold informed Chris who just glared.
"Is that Harold?" Heather asked Chris "Where are you taking him?!"
"Does it really matter?" Chris asked Heather
"Yes, it does!" Heather informed him "I need to go to Gwen's house. I have eggs and I wanted to throw some at her house and just take off! So, can you come and get me?"
"I'm not anywhere near Gwen's house!" Chris complained to Heather "Don't you have anything better to do Heather? Seriously, I have no clue where Leshawna lives and I'm relying on Harold with a printed Google map to get me there!"
"That's pathetic!" Heather laughed "So, my mom has a GPS and she's not using it anymore, if you come and get me then I'll give you the GPS and you won't have to get lost in a car with Harold all night! Interested?"
"Very!" Chris told her "Where do you want me to pick you up?"
"Where are you?" Heather asked him
"I am apparently in Jamestown." Chris sighed "I see a sign for Birchwood street."
"Oh! I'm about half an hour away from there!" Heather informed him "I'll meet you outside my house! I think Gwen lives about an hour from Leshawna, so we can just stop in front of Gwen's house on the way to Leshawna's and egg her house and then drop Harold off!"
"I'm not sitting in the car with Heather." Harold crossed his arms "Chris, tell her I was here first!"
"No!" Chris yelled at Harold "She has a GPS and I need it!...Heather! I'll be there as soon as I can!"
Chris hung up with Heather and drove to go pick her up hoping he didn't get lost along the way. He honestly couldn't wait to pick up Heather because she had something that would help him...a GPS!
Chris was ready to kill Harold a half an hour later when they were almost at Heather's house. Harold decided that he wanted to stop in front of someone's house and go through their recycling bin to see what kind of juice they drink. Harold also wanted to listen to some radio station broadcast where this guy was talking about different types of bacteria. Finally they made it to Heather's house without getting lost and she wasn't pleased.
"What the hell took you so long?" Heather asked as she got in the backseat of the car. "Chris, why are there red panties on the floor?!"
"Because I was in the middle of something when I got this memo that I had to play taxi driver!" Chris glared at Heather. "Ask Harold what took so long! He's the one who insisted we stop and look in recycling bins!"
"Harold, you're such a fucking weirdo!" Heather smacked him from the backseat. "Chris, we need to make sure we pull up to the side of Gwen's bedroom, I want to make sure we get her bedroom window!"
"There is no we." Chris told her "I'm not going to toss eggs at Gwen's window! If you wanted help you should have asked Courtney."
"That's not a bad idea." Heather agreed "Can we pick her up?"
"No!" Harold replied before Chris could. "I'm going to Leshawna's house."
"I don't care!" Heather told Harold "I've been planning on egging Gwen's house since I got home!"
"Then why didn't you just take your own car?" Chris sighed.
"Why would I do that when you can take me?" Heather asked him. "I'm saving so much money! You owe this to me after what you did to my million in world tour!"
Chris sighed in annoyance and continued to drive the two bickering teenagers to where ever they wanted to go. Chris was starting to think he died and this was his own personal hell. Finally after Heather showed him how to use the GPS he found his way to Gwen's house and pulled over so that Heather could egg Gwen's house.
Heather threw several Eggs at Gwen's house and aimed for her window. Everything was going well until Gwen opened the window.
"Really Heather?!" Gwen yelled "Something is seriously wrong with you!?"
"Come and say it to my face goth girl!" Heather yelled and ran into the car "She's so mad! Haha!"
Gwen came bolting out of her house and ran over to the car and Chris put the window down.
"Really Chris? You drove Heather to my house to egg it?" Gwen crossed her arms.
"I didn't really have a choice." Chris rolled his eyes at Heather "Now if you don't mind I have to go to Leshawna's house! So goodnight, Gwen."
"Wait!" Gwen got an idea "I always wanted to Egg Courtney's house! Heather do you have any extra eggs?"
"Are you implying that I should team up with you and Egg Courtney's house?" Heather smirked "I'm in!"
Gwen opened the back door to the car and hopped in and sat next to Heather as the two plotted how they were going to Egg Courtney's house while Harold listened to his stupid radio broadcast. About 45 minutes later they arrived at Leshawna's house and Chris watched Harold go up to the door and ring the bell and then look in the windows. Harold came back to the car as Chris just glared at him.
"Nobody's home." Harold told Chris "Oh well, we can try again tomorrow!"
"I just drove 3 hours to Leshawna's house and she wasn't even home?!" Chris yelled at Harold "I told you to call before we left!"
"Yeah, but at least I have Gwen." Heather laughed "Now we can go to Courtney's house and egg it!"
"Okay, Gwen you are aware that Heather egged your house, right?" Chris asked her
"Yeah." Gwen told him.
"So you're willing to go with her and Egg Courtney's house?" Chris asked her.
"Yep." Heather agreed
"Okay, So I'm telling you exactly what's going to happen!" Chris glared at the 3 of them. "I am going to take the 3 of you to Courtney's house, Okay? Once I take you there I am leaving and going home! Harold lives like 3 blocks away! The 3 of you are going to spend the night at Harold's house. I am going home and contacting my lawyers! Do we all understand each other?"
"I'm am sooo not sleeping over Harold's house." Gwen told Chris.
"Yeah, me neither." Heather agreed.
"Then stay at Courtney's as you three plot to do something else that doesn't involve me taking you there." Chris told them.
Chris drove 3 hours back to Harold's house and parked the car in front of Harold's house and looked at the clock on his car.
"It's almost 2am!" Chris told them "Here is Harold's stupid house! Everyone just go to it!"
"I thought you were taking us to Courtney's" Gwen asked Chris.
"No, I'm taking you to Harold's and then the 3 of you can decide if you want to egg Courtney's house or whatever the hell else you may come up with! She lives 3 streets over! Just ask Harold and walk!"
"I'm fine with that." Harold winked "I love having ladies over! My mom will believe I have friends!"
"Oh and Heather." Chris smirked.
"Yeah?" Heather asked.
"I'm keeping the GPS." Chris laughed as sped off as fast as he could leaving the 3 teenagers standing there.
Chris finally made it back home and passed out on his couch. He was going to call his lawyer first thing in the morning. He was too tired to do anything, that includes making it to his bed.
Okay, so it's not even that crazy yet but it's a start! Let me know what you guys think of this! I love the fact that nobody lives anywhere near each other. If I fuck up a town I'm sorry, I'm making up random towns and streets as I go and yes, there will be WAY more people in the car at a time then what I just did. I can assure you that! Oh yeah and When I type like this that person is the one on the phone taking to Chris in case you didn't pick up on that.