Disclaimer; I don't own the Hunger Games because, well, I'm not that original, but enjoy the fanfiction.
When light came fluttering into my eyes I knew it was muted and much brighter if I turned away from the warmth that was blocking out the rays of the sun. I sighed softly and without thinking pressed closer to wall of warmth next to me not expecting it to groan or shift, but it did and that's when I realized I really caused a change.
A change that I couldn't fix or go back on, I made a change, a choice, and now I'd have to deal with the consequences, whatever they may be.
Nonetheless I drew in a sharp breath and jerked backward letting the morning sun sear into my eyes jumbling my thoughts more than the smell of alcohol, or the sight of dirty blonde hair sprawled across my pillows, or the light snores that sounded almost familiar and oddly comforting. His eyes cracked open at my sudden movement and I watched as something like worry flooded his features.
"Sweetheart?" He croaked in a gravely morning voice that sent pinpricks of, something I couldn't quite name, down my spine.
My eyes watered upon seeing how red his eyes were and the worry lines forming on his face. Was this all I could do to the people I love? Kill them, be it slowly or quickly, or worry them?
My shoulders shook with quiet sobs and I fell against Haymitch as he wrapped his arms around my still weak body. He was bewildered. I could see it in his eyes. I wasn't one for emotions and neither was he, yet here we were with me bawling my eyes out and him attempting to quiet me.
It was ironic. We all have our own problems and we all try to ignore them. Whether we use the bottle or hide behind excuses, it never solves anything. Our problems remain. We stay broken and silent. Some of us try to solve other's problems, but you can't solve anyone's other than your own. It doesn't work that way. That's why it's called personal problems. But we always want someone else to prove us wrong in our thinking, to come along and solve our problems, lessen our pain and renew our hope, but what do you do when you're both broken? When you're both lost and in need of someone else? Can we really deal with all of these problems under one roof? Can we face each other's demons and be strong for one another…?
I opened up my eyes and looked into his. I still didn't understand that gleam, but I knew it was important and that the day it disappeared was a day I would dread. I would become a thing of the past and for some reason that scared me. It caused my stomach to flop and the room to spin. Or maybe that was just from the exertion it took to sit up on my own. It always had taken awhile for the reality of things to catch up to me.
"Sweetheart…" He whispered holding my chin between his fingers as he searched my eyes. They were watery and pained, but seemed to hold whatever it was he was looking for. A small smile slipped onto his lips.
"Katniss… You're trying again." He said breathlessly something vaguely happy and relieved in his baritone. I just let out a whimper and decided to try out my voice.
"Can we… jus' lay 'ere?" I asked brokenly with my underused and scratchy voice. He nodded laying me down, but getting up causing an awkward sinking feeling to arise in my chest.
I watched him closely only to find he was shutting the curtains and grabbing another slightly thicker blanket before climbing back into the bed. He slightly rearranged the setup of my bed before pulling the covers over us. I drew closer to him and with my frail body next to his hearty one I could tell just how close I was to succeeding in my latest quest. I fell asleep with the thought of it in my head and I couldn't help feeling a little happy that I hadn't…