DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fifty Shades Trilogy. Just this story. And NOT a professional writer. Just sharing my first ff.
A/N:Hello! I know.. Nine days. Damn it. Forgive my lazy ass. Maybe hire a dom to spank me? LOL kidding. But seriously, I was just recharging my 'demonizing powers' Ha-Ha-ha! God, that review made me laugh so hard.
Thank you for all the reviews last chapter. Eva (LittlePinkLady69), wrote the longest review ever and she nailed it. If you have questions about the timeline of the story, go read it. Her review just sums up everything.
I'm just glad that I have such wonderful readers/supporters. And smart ones too. And I love you all for that!
I would like to welcome the new followers, favorites and Guest readers! HELLO GUYS!
And one quick shout out to Anisurnois author of The Master's Muse. If you haven't read it, then go check it! Best story ever.
Reviews are always appreciated. THANK YOU SO MUCH ALL FOR READING AND SUPPORTING SS!
Sorry for the errors. xx
If he got me speechless after placing my hand to his wildly beating heart, now I didn't know how to describe the state that I was in after hearing those words he'd just said about being my first dance-no-matter-what.
Oh my. I have never heard those words being said to me. Not even Christian, if I remember correctly. Looking into his soulful eyes, I knew he was serious about it, even if he said it in a playful tone, his intense light blue orbs was saying otherwise.
"Gavin, I want to be your first dance too but I'm afraid we can't just leave here without telling them."
"Why not? Seems like a great plan for me." he said in a seductive voice as he pulled my body closer to his.
"Hmm. Kidnapping a lady in the middle of a masquerade ball... Are you turning into a rogue cop now, Officer Boyle?" I said tapping the tip of his nose while he played with my curls.
"Who wouldn't want to? You look stunning in this dress. Though I'd prefer you naked and open for me, I would like to see more of this sight of you so beautiful and sexy as hell but yet you still carry that innocent aura and it's driving me crazy." His eyes turned soft then darker as he gazed from my lips, to my nose then back to my eyes. "I'm afraid you are close in giving me a permanent hard on, my lady." He added whispering it to my ear.
I raised an eyebrow at him and made a bold move by cupping his erection.
He was definitely hard. Good gracious, Steele. Give the man some relief!
He gave me a naughty smile that just made him too cute and sexy at the same time. Geez. "So, you found and felt the evidence," he pushed himself into my touch, "can I execute my perfect plan now and take you away with me? I will take you to the world of my sweet fantasies. And I'm sure you won't ever want to leave." His smile widened and winked at me.
I giggled and gave his erection a light squeeze. His eyes turned a shade darker and was now replaced by pure wanton desire. "Behave yourself knight or you won't get to see those fantasies come true. Ever."
He pursed his lips, not liking where his 'kidnap Ana' plan was going. "But I don't want to give up that first dance, Ana. If I knew there was that kind of Auction, I would have driven here faster and earlier." He said looking away.
"Hey." I cupped his stubbly cheek, getting his eyes back to mine. "If we took off, Christian will go thermonuclear. I'm sure he will panic that someone might have taken me for real. I swear, he could go over the top. Kate and the Greys will get worried too."
He just stared at me for a bit then sighed heavily. "Alright, I understand."
Ever since the night that I have finally realized this strong feeling that I have for him, I couldn't seem to take it when he looked so sad and defeated just like now. I thought that the first dance wasn't that important but with the determined look in his eyes said otherwise. He didn't want to lose to Christian. I was actually impressed with his plan, because instead of 'buying' me, that he didn't want to, he'd rather take me away from here. Geez, such a caveman. I got used with Christian lavishing me with all he got. Though it never felt that he was actually 'buying' me with all the money he had, it just felt so nice that Gavin was different. Very different.
After I learned from Melissa that Gavin wasn't just cop with the usual 'cop bank account', he'd never flaunted his money to me. Yes, he was always the one to pay whenever we eat outside but it was only cheap ones and he'd never brought me to any high-class restaurants because he'd rather cook for me and Ted. Aside from the hospital bill from last week, he never tried to pay for anything that I could pay for myself.
He pulled out from our embrace to composed himself and tried to fix his bow tie. I could tell that he was avoiding my eyes because he was hiding his disappointment. I didn't know if I should laugh or not because he looked like a 5 year-old boy who didn't get his Christmas wish from his parents.
"Here let me." I tapped his hand away and surprised him when I snaked my arms around his neck and pulled myself closer to him. "I didn't say you can't have the first dance, Officer." He frowned at me. "We still have few more minutes, come I'll show you something." I tugged his hand quickly before he could ask where.
"Ana! Where have you been? The first dance is about to start-" Kate stopped when she noticed that I wasn't alone.
"Good evening, Kate. I must say you look so lovely tonight." Gavin said, giving her his panty-melting smile.
I could tell Kate was caught off guard because it took her few seconds to recognize the sexy man behind me. "Gavin? You made it! Wow, looking hot in a tux, Officer. Elliot did a good job." She smiled at her husband first then turned to me and whispered, "you're a lucky bitch, Steele. He looks so yummy! A quickie?"
My eyes widened at that and thank god the guys didn't hear it. "Kate!" I scolded her and the witch just gave me a naughty smile that said 'I know you, Steele'.
"That I did, babe. It wasn't that easy to make a cop wear a tux you know." Elliot shook Gavin's hand and winked at me that made me blush a little.
"I would never get used to this, it's just so..." He didn't finish after I gave him a stern look because there was his hand again fixing his bow tie.
Gavin was the only man I've met with a huge dislike in wearing formal clothes. Well, he's a cop Steele. What do you expect? But seeing him here at the Gala, in a tux if I may add, just made my heart swell with happiness. Despite of his refusal before, he was here. For me. I could tell that he was really uncomfortable with his bow tie because he couldn't keep his hand from fixing it every minute.
"Don't worry, Gavin my man. Ana has this secret fetish with a man in a bow tie, only." Elliot whispered to him the last word but it was loud enough for me and Kate to hear it.
My face turned red as I gaped in shocked with what Elliot said. Gavin laughed while Kate smacked her husband's arm scolding him and telling to behave himself. Elliot mouthed 'sorry' to me and I just shook my head at him with a small smile on my lips. Geez, I could have smacked him myself if he'd said that out loud.
Then I just remembered Grace and the others. I glanced around and saw Mia with the blond guy that she was talking with just before the dinner. Looked like he won the bid for her. I wonder if they were an item and where was Ethan? Grace and Carrick were already positioned out front to lead the first dance and I also saw Mr. and Mrs Trevelyan just behind them. And as I was just about to turn around, I suddenly felt this familiar feeling of being watched.
There he was, sans the black mask, approaching us slowly. I noticed all women automatically turned their heads as Christian walked gracefully towards me. Breathe, Steele. Everyone is watching, including Gavin. So just play it cool.
"Anastasia." He offered me his hand. I turned to look at Gavin who was now on the side to make way for the couples for the first dance. His eyes were focused on Christian and I but when his eyes met mine, he gave me a small smile and nodded.
I looked back to Christian then to his hand. Just one song. I told myself. This couldn't be that bad. The only concern I have right now was Gavin. I knew this wasn't easy for him.
I took a deep breath before taking Christian's hand. It was the same warm hand that used to hold me before. That warm hand that used to make me feel safe and protected. That warm hand that made me feel all the sensual things in the past. But after that painful sight in his office, all I could think about this hand now was how he used that whip to beat his sub. I closed my eyes as we took our position for the dance.
Stop it Steele. Just try to concentrate on how to get through this.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the First Dance Auction, are you ready?" I heard the MC said through the mic. "Then we shall begin."
I opened my eyes as the band started playing 'The Way You Look Tonight'. Christian's piercing grey eyes were just focused on me. His hands were secured on my waist while I kept my hands in between us. He didn't seem to mind because he was just silent but not taking his eyes off me. The distance between our body wasn't that close enough like the usual when we dance together.
I looked down to his lips, disconnecting our gazes. I was feeling more uncomfortable with him being silent like this. I didn't even know what to say. He was acting not his usual self. He didn't even glare at Gavin, or did he even look at him? I didn't notice it but still, he was too silent for my liking. Was this a good sign or what?
"Christian." I started, breaking the silence. "I would like to thank you for... uhm... bidding on me the last minute. I certainly didn't want that Anthony Richards to win the first dance."
"I didn't get the first dance too." Finally, I heard him say. Wait a minute, what?
I looked up at him and frowned. "What do you mean? You're-"
"I saw you dancing... with him."
"I came to get you because it was almost time for the first dance. Then I found you on the patio, in his arms dancing without music." He said with a blank expression.
He saw us. Why didn't we notice him?
When I took Gavin around to find a place where we could have our own first dance, we ended up on the patio, on the side of the house. I remembered Kate telling me about this area being prepared for some guest who would propose to his girlfriend tonight. The patio was filled with colorful candle lights. The marquee was at the far side of the huge property of the Greys so it was just the two of us. Gavin suddenly grabbed me by the waist. My arms automatically made their way around his neck as I looked him in his light blue eyes. I waited for him to start the slow dance but after a minute he was still standing straight like he was waiting for me to do something. When I asked why he wasn't moving, he blurted out that he didn't know how to dance. Even though part of me found it a bit funny because I actually thought he could dance because he was so determined to do it just a while ago, I couldn't because bigger part of me found it still sweet that he was trying. Yes of course, he was a cop. He didn't like events or any formal gathering. He was the typical guy who does manly things. And surely dancing was not included on the list.
He wasn't Christian.
I pulled him for a brief kiss and took the lead. Good thing he was a fast learner because it didn't take long and we were both swaying to a quiet dance. It was like my body was in tuned with his and so did his with mine. He surprised me when he started singing 'Grow Old With You'. I felt my eyes watered hearing him sing for me. He voiced out, not just once or twice but a hundred times, his dislike of singing. He said that he had an awful voice and swore he would never be convinced to sing in front of anyone. Even though he didn't have a voice of a singer, like Christian and it wasn't even that awful, it was perfect for me. He was perfect for me. After he finished the song, he tried to apologize but even before he could say a word, I sealed his lips with mine.
It was fast but a sweet dance. And I never thought that would see us it was a very quiet area with no one around.
"Christian, I... I-"
For the first time tonight, Christian looked me straight in the eyes with that same exact expression from the last time we danced together. It was during our vacation in Hawaii, after I decided to give him another chance to fix our marriage, we went away for a week to spend some quality time together with our son. He surprised me with a very romantic candlelit dinner that he prepared himself. That last dance we had was sensually slow and we ended up making love even before we could eat.
"You look so beautiful tonight." I felt his hands tightened around my waist. "Breathtaking as ever. You'll always be the most beautiful woman in my eyes, Anastasia."
I just looked away and kept silent because I didn't know what to say. It seemed like he didn't want to talk about what he saw..
'Cause I love you ... just the way you look tonight.
"I'm flying to India on Monday night." Christian muttered a moment later. "This new merger with an Indian company will take weeks or maybe months and I will personally work on it." Oh, so he was going away? "Ross was supposed to deal with this but since I knew it would take longer than the usual deals, I decided to go instead of her."
"I hope everything will go well the merger then." I said quietly.
"I hope so too. That's why I went here tonight. If it's alright with you, I would like to spend time with Ted before I go."
"Of course, you can. He's here with me." I said sincerely. If he was going to stay long in India, he would surely miss Ted. And who I was to refuse a father who would like to spend time with his son, right?
He nodded. "Are you staying at Kate and Elliot's?" He asked but I was sure he already knew. "Sawyer will pick him up tomorrow at 7."
"Yes, we're staying at Kate's. Alright then, I will ready his backpack just in case."
"Thank you." He said softly and we fell silent again after that until the end of the song.
Lovely ... never, ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it'
'cause I love you ... just the way you look tonight.
Being this close to Christian again made me remember how warm and good it felt to be in his arms. How his body could make me go crazy with desire for him. How his sexy scent could make me drool over him. How his hands could make me shiver with want and anticipation of what he could do once we were left alone in our own sanctuary. But I couldn't separate those good memories with the tainted vision of him with another woman. It was like an automatic scene that would fill my mind and would cover up my sensual feelings for him. My love for him.
But as surprising as it seemed, he was behaving tonight. I didn't think he could be this civil in front of Gavin. Maybe because his family was just around? Or that all eyes were on us tonight?
I felt his hands loosened from its grip to my waist. But when I was about to pull away from our close position, he pulled me back to his body and whispered to my ear, "You own my heart and soul. There will be no one else. I love you and always will." Then with one last look in my eyes, he turned around and walked away.
I was still staring at Christian's retreating back when I felt Gavin's arms around me.
"Hey." He said again as he tilted my chin up.
"Are you alright?" His eyes roamed around my face like he was searching for something. You're an open book, Steele. Your face says it all.
I nodded and swallowed twice. I didn't know why but I suddenly felt cold after Christian walked away. His voice was different when he said he will always love me. It was like a voice of acceptance. I wasn't sure but if felt like he just said goodbye.
I just hope that that trip to India would help him think about what really happened between us. That we were both hurt of that mistake that he did. That no matter how many 'sorrys' and 'I love yous', those words would never be enough to forgive and forget the past. The first time, I accepted it and was willing to start a new with him. But the second time? That's a different story.
Well, at least he is showing that he can change right, Steele?
"Do you still want to dance or do you want a drink and sit down for a bit?" Gavin asked with concern written all over his face.
"No, let's drink later. Dance first. We have music now." I said and wrapped my arms around his neck.
"Yeah, much better than my awful voice." He muttered more to himself.
"Hey, I love it. I love your voice. It was the sweetest thing you have ever done."
"Really?" He whispered, not quite believing what I've just said. Oh Gavin.
"Yes. You told me you hate singing but you sang for me. Thank you." I said, as I rested my head at the crook of his neck.
I felt him relaxed and tightened his hold on me. "You know I'll do anything for you."
We stayed for two more songs and then decided to get something to drink. Gavin didn't ask what Christian and I talked about. It was one of the things I love about him, he didn't pry. He never demanded me to share everything to him.
I saw Richards eyeing us from the side. I quickly told Gavin about what happened before he got here. His demeanor change into protective cop mode. When Richards tried to approach me, Gavin stepped in front of me and warned Richards that he wouldn't think twice of breaking his neck if he came close near ten feet from me. The black haired man's scared expression was too funny to describe. He quickly disappeared and I gave Gavin a thank you kiss for his amazing scare tactics.
Gavin met Carrick when we stopped by the table of the Greys. Carrick welcomed him politely and shook his hand. Grace seemed surprise to see him since I told her he wasn't coming but after he and Elliot explained their plan to surprise me, she smiled and told him to have a great time for the rest of the night. Mr. and Mrs. Trevelyan left already after the first dance. Gavin looked really uncomfortable around the Greys but thank god for Elliot, I knew Gavin wouldn't stick around if he wasn't here or if they didn't get along. Then Ethan came out of nowhere and introduced himself to Gavin. He looked deadly serious when he told Gavin that he would kill if he ever get to see me hurt and crying again because of a man. Gavin shook his hand and agreed about killing someone if they ever saw me hurt. Ethan seemed to be amused and impressed by Gavin's bravery because after a few drinks they were all laughing like old friends.
Mia was the last one to meet Gavin. She literally stared at him for whole 2 minutes. The first question that came out from her was 'Are you James Bond slash Greek God?'. We all laughed at that and I couldn't believe again that like Kate, Mia was openly ogling Gavin. She totally forgot about the blond guy she was just dancing with before she met my Mr. Boxers. She immediately invited us to her new restaurant opening next month.
Geez, what's with Gavin and the ladies?
"Ana, did you see Christian? Or did he tell you where he is going after the first dance? I was trying to find him but he seemed to just disappear." Graced asked after pulling me to the side.
"I'm afraid he didn't. We just had a small talk about him and Teddy's father and son day tomorrow before he leaves for India. And after that he just went somewhere."
"He's leaving for India? When?" She frowned.
"He said his flight will be on Monday night."
"I see. Thank you, dear. Maybe he left already. That boy, I will just try call him."
Kate and I decided to check on Teddy and Ava inside the house. We found the kids asleep on the sofa in the living room. They looked so cute because even if they were tangled up and the uncomfortable position they were in, they didn't seem to mind and both looked so peaceful that not even a bomb explosion could wake them up.
When we got back to the marquee, I saw Gavin talking to a blonde woman wearing a red glossy gown. Though I couldn't see her face that much, it was clear that she knew him because she was touching his arm. Gavin, on the other hand, was clearly avoiding her touches and was looking very uncomfortable. Who is that woman?
"Steele, who is that?" Kate asked inquisitively.
"I have no idea." I answered back still watching as Gavin nodded goodbye to the woman. To my surprise, she waved at my direction and smiled before she walked away. What the hell? Does she know me?
"Gavin," I called out as soon as he reached us.
"Ana." He laced our fingers together and pulled me closer to him.
I kept a straight face because I had a bad feeling about that woman in red, bad news was radiating from her long blonde hair. Keep an open mind, Steele. Ask him first.
"Who are you talking with? The woman in red."
"That's Jane. An old friend. She's here with her husband Rick."Oh, a married woman. I sighed mentally in relief.
"I see." But there was still something off about her and Gavin's anxious face confirmed that there was something else.
He seemed to notice that I wanted more info about her. "I'll tell you more later." He said giving me a kiss in the forehead.
After the fireworks, we decided to call it a night and go back to Kate and Elliot's place. Since Teddy and Ava were already asleep we just made quick goodbye to the Greys. Kate and Elliot would be staying overnight in Bellevue with Ava. I raised an eyebrow at Kate because it was so obvious that they just decided to stay and left the house to ourselves the whole night. Elliot reasoned that they do always stay after the gala every year. Yes, he was right though. Christian and I did the same too when we were still together. But the glint in his eyes gave his intention away.
"Hey, let's head first to the hotel to get my things and check out. Then we'll go back to Kate and Elliot's." He said absentmindedly. It was clear that there was something bothering him.
"Okay." I answered quietly. Teddy was still peacefully sleeping in the back seat and if I start a conversation it might wake him up but I couldn't hold my curiosity any longer so I asked again, "so, who's the woman in red?"
"Jane is an ex-girlfriend." He made a quick glance at me and added, "She turned down my marriage proposal five years ago."