A/N: First Glee fanfic, so first Kurtofsky fanfic. Please tell me what you think! (see bottom note for details and trigger warnings on story)
The simple question broke through the fragile, uncomfortable silence roughly, leaving jagged edges in its wake. Mourning the loss of silence and dreading yet another argument with his fiance, Dave reluctantly turned away from the window.
"What about them?"
"Oh, honestly, David?" Kurt rolled his eyes. His fingers- his beautiful, pale fingers that hadn't touched him with love in weeks, thought Dave sadly -were wrapped around the steering wheel with a tight, white-knuckled grip. "For dinner. Do you want to pick up some Chinese for dinner?"
A wave of embarrassment washed over Dave followed shortly by a wave of anger at being embarrassed. For God's sake, Kurt was his fiance. He should be able to make a little mistake without the endgame being him feeling like an idiot. He hated feeling like an idiot especially since he always lashed out at the nearest person. Which, lately, had only been Kurt. Kurt, his fiance, who kept making him feel like an idiot.
So, true to form, he lashed out. "Oh, we're going to eat dinner together again? This is a surprise."
Kurt's breathing hitched roughly and his eyes slipped shut in pain for just a short moment. He brushed trembling fingers through his bangs as he sighed. "I'm sorry, David. You're right. We haven't spent much time together in a while."
Dave snorted and turned back to the window. "Try weeks. Hell, the last time I even saw you was at that showcase thing you had last Saturday. Saturday, Kurt. Today is Thursday. I'd forget we even live together if it wasn't for the other side of the bed being warm when I get up in the morning. Or, y'know, the fact that you're constantly bitching about closet space."
"David. . ." Kurt choked out. His glasz eyes were wet with a sheen of tears that he refused to let fall. He was so tired of crying over his relationship with his fiance. He was tired of the silence and the fighting. He was tired of feeling cold and knowing it was because the heat of his and Dave's relationship- the passion that brought them together in the first place- was dying. He was just so fucking tired.
Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Dave shaking his head sharply. "Don't," the other man said, not turning away from the window this time. "Just. . .don't, Kurt."
Besides the sad little sigh that Kurt let out in response, the rest of the car ride passed in silence. The kind of silence that was cold and hollow. The kind of silence that signaled the end.
Dinner couldn't have started off any more uncomfortable and awkward than it did. A once happy, passionate couple who, in the past, would've been in the same seat nearly on top of each other, sat across the table from each other resolutely looking anywhere but at the other.
Kurt snapped his head up from where he was staring at the wood grain in the table and looked at the waiter. The man was older but still gave off an air of gentle mysticism. And he was looking at Kurt and Dave with a strange wide smile on his face. Kurt couldn't help but feel cautious and on edge. Fortunately, Dave didn't seem to think anything was wrong.
"Yes," he said, turning to look fully at the waiter. "If we could just get some spring rolls, sweet and sour chicken with noodles, orange chicken with vegetable fried rice, that'd be great thanks."
The waiter nodded, still with that creepy smile on his face. He turned to walk off but Dave stopped him before he could get too far.
"Oh! And some egg drop soup?" Dave waited for the man to nod before he smiled in appreciation. "Thanks."
Stunned, Kurt watched as the waiter went away before turning to look at Dave who in turn was looking at him with raised eyebrows. He flushed and focused his eyes on his hands, picking at his nails as he spoke quietly, "You remembered."
"The soup," Kurt clarified. "You remembered to order a soup you hate just because I told you one time, nearly two years ago, that I couldn't eat Chinese without it."
Dave shrugged. "Well, yeah, Kurt. I mean, I may not know what's been up with you lately but, Jesus. Just because we're going through a rough patch right now doesn't mean I'm going to ignore all the good times that have happened between us."
Kurt gasped and looked up at his fiance for the first time in a long time. "Is that all this is? A rough patch?"
". . .yes?" Dave stared back at Kurt, confused. "Kurt, baby, I love you. And things might be a little tough but we'll work through this."
The tears were too much to hold back now. Quiet and slow, they dripped down Kurt's cheeks as he grinned at Dave tentatively. "You mean that?"
"Yes! What did you think was going on?"
"I thought you were going to leave me," Kurt admitted quietly, his face burning with shame at the assumption.
Dave stared at him incredulously. Blinking furiously, he tried to get his thoughts in order but all he could get out was "Kurt! What-?"
Wiping his eyes, Kurt shrugged as if he didn't really care how Dave would take what he was about to say but it was clear from his strained smile that that wasn't the truth. "I'm sorry, David, I should have trusted you. It's just that Rachel said-"
"Wait," Dave lifted a hand, cutting Kurt off. "Rachel? What does she have to do with us?"
Glasz eyes flashed as Kurt looked up at his fiance in disbelief. "You don't know?" he asked in a quiet voice.
"How would I know?" Dave shot back gently, quirking an eyebrow. "We don't ever talk anymore. We hardly see each other. The only reason I even made it to your showcase last week is because some girl from your office e-mailed me. So please. Can you just cut the crap and tell me what's going on with Rachel?"
Kurt sighed shakily. How could he say this carefully enough to where David wouldn't cause a scene? Now that he was sure David still loved him, he knew that the older man would be angry when he learned what Rachel- as well as many other old friends- had been telling Kurt for the past few months.
Across the table, Dave could see the conflicting thoughts fighting for control on Kurt's face. The younger man was clearly scared and worried about something. Steeling himself, Dave reached a hand out and laid it over Kurt's on the table. Kurt looked up and smiled weakly when Dave squeezed.
"Kurt. . ." Dave started but was cut off by the return of their waiter. He watched silently as the still grinning creep set down their food and walked off. Shaking his head, he turned back to his fiance and started again. "Kurt, just talk to me. It'll be okay."
Nodding, Kurt took a shaky breath and tightened his fingers around Dave's. "You remember when you proposed to me? How you told me you loved me and wanted to be with me forever, even if we never told anyone?"
Dave tilted his head in agreement. Due to the history between him and Kurt, they had decided not to tell anyone when they got together. They dated for nearly a year before Dave decided he wanted Kurt forever, regardless of how many people knew, and he proposed. But then. . .
"But I decided that since we were getting married, we should go ahead and tell people. What's better than having all your old friends at your wedding, right?" Kurt shook his head. "That was stupid. I knew deep down how everyone was going to react but I told them anyway because I was hoping someone would be happy for us. I thought that since I hardly ever saw most of these people, they wouldn't really care. But you know they did."
"I know," Dave agreed. He remembered the early days of their engagement when their phones rang all the time with numbers they barely even recognized anymore. Friends from high school, people whose names were only vague memories, took the time to call just to give their objections to the marriage. Hell, Rachel herself even made a special trip to Chicago just for the chance to protest at their door. The few people that had supported them included only Kurt's dad, his stepmother, Finn, and Dave's parents. Dave frowned.
"You know," Kurt repeated softly, staring intently at their entwined hands. "But you only know what they've done or said in front of you. You don't know that for the past six weeks, Rachel's been leaving voicemails on my phone and messages at the office about-" He cut off suddenly, his voice week with sadness.
Rubbing his thumb over the back of Kurt's hand, Dave watched as the other man shivered and seemingly pulled strength from their light connection. "About what? Tell me, Kurt."
Instead of looking at Dave, Kurt kept his gaze down and locked on their hands. "About how you could never really want to marry me. At least, not for love. The only reason you would possibly ever marry me is to humiliate me or so you could have me as your slave or whatever."
"Really?" Dave said flippantly, trying to lighten the mood at least a little. "Not even just for sex?"
Kurt lost what little color was still left in his face and closed his eyes in pain. "No," he choked out. "Why would you possibly marry me for sex when you're not gay?"
"Um," Dave blinked slowly. "Kurt, baby, I'm pretty sure you know for a fact that I am gay."
Shaking his head, Kurt pulled his hand out from under Dave's and picked up his fork to eat, prompting Dave to follow his lead. "You're not because you weren't in high school. And if you think you are now it's just because of something I must have done and wouldn't I feel better if I just admitted it and ended this whole charade?"
"Charade? Kurt, please tell me Rachel never said that!"
"She did," the younger man confirmed. "She said all of it and much more. Multiple times."
"No," Dave denied, his knuckles turning white from the tight grip he had on his chopsticks. "She wouldn't because she is nice."
Kurt let out a harsh, sharp laugh that caused a few of the other diners to look at him in alarm. "Yes, she did, David. Because Rachel Berry is not nice and she never has been. If she was nice, she wouldn't tell me that I should be thankful you're not gay that way I'd never feel the crushing disappointment of you refusing to sleep with me because I'm not attractive."
A loud, wet thunk made Kurt lift his head and he stared at Dave frantically trying to mop up water from where he dropped his glass.
"Not attractive?!" Dave spit out, gazing at Kurt in a strange mix of questioning and anger. "Kurt, please tell me you don't believe that."
Kurt shrugged. "I wouldn't if she was the only, or even just the first, person to tell me that. But she's not. I'm not attractive, David. I'm predatory, my 'sexy faces' look like I have gas pains, I have a 'hard luck case of the gay-face', and the only way I could look any more like a girl would be if I showed of the vagina that I must have as no real man with a dick would wear the clothes I do."
"I don't know where that last one came from," Dave admitted in a quiet, angry voice. "But I have a good idea of who said the other ones."
"It's not a big deal," Kurt said, waving his hand dismissively.
"Yes, it is, Kurt. You're not predatory; you were a fifteen year old with a crush on the quarterback. You weren't the only one. Finn just wanted you to be careful with Sam; he didn't mean to hurt you," Dave reclaimed Kurt's hands with his own and held onto them gently. "Blaine doesn't know sexy. How could he when he walks around dressed like a blind geriatric? And you know that insults are the only way Sebastian knows how to communicate."
"So?" Dave repeated. "So I'm the one marrying you, Kurt. I mean, I would anyway because I love you and you're just that awesome but your sexiness is a definite perk. Say it. Say 'I'm sexy.'"
"I'm sexy," Kurt reiterated dryly.
Even though sarcasm dripped off his husband-to-be's voice like acid, Dave still couldn't hold back a shiver at Kurt's words. Well, it had been a while. . .
"You're damn right you are," Dave affirmed, voice dropping low. He watched as Kurt's eyes widened in surprise and pleasure. On a whim, he decided to push his luck. "You are so sexy, Kurt. Don't you know that? Don't you know how much you turn me on?"
"David!" Kurt hissed, color bursting across his cheeks. He tried to pull his hands away but Dave held tightly and began to caress them softly as he continued to speak.
"Mm, like right now," He growled quietly. "Looking at you all flushed and embarrassed. It's exciting."
"David, please," Kurt whispered, his throat suddenly very dry. He hadn't heard David speak to him like this in weeks. And he was right- it was exciting.
"Please what, baby?" Dave prompted, sweetness coating the arousal that was running through his voice.
"S-stop!" Kurt gasped, his fingers tingling from Dave's light touches. His hands had always been more sensitive than normal and Dave had always taken advantage of that when he could. Apparently that included manipulating him in a crowded restaurant after weeks of no touching.
Dave shook his head, hazel eyes glinting wickedly. He tangled his thick, square fingers with Kurt's thin, slim ones and pushed his thumbs into Kurt's palms, rubbing gently.
"Daaavid," Kurt moaned quietly, shifting uncomfortably on the hard plastic seat. Despite the discomfort in his legs, all he could focus on was the sharp jolts of hot pleasure going straight from his fingertips to his cock. Little tremors shook his hands where they where trapped in Dave's grip.
"Mm, baby," Dave whispered hotly as he leaned forward and stared into Kurt's eyes. "You look so good falling apart in front of me. It's been so long- I'd almost forgotten."
He brought Kurt's left hand- for some reason the more sensitive one- up to his mouth and slowly kissed to tip of each finger. He was careful, of course, making sure that each kiss was short and sweet and that there was no chance of his tongue accidentally slipping out and running over each ridge of Kurt's arched fingerprints.
"P-please. Please, David. I can't handle much more of this," Kurt confessed quietly as he tried once again to pull his hands away from David. This time, however, he was successful.
"Alright," Dave sighed regretfully before sitting back in the booth and staring at Kurt happily.
The other man was busy carefully laying his hands on the table in such a way that they wouldn't be stimulated. Taking deep breaths, Kurt tried to calm down but was finding it difficult since Dave was still staring at him intently. "You can't do that."
"Do what?" Dave asked innocently.
Flushing hotly again, Kurt leaned forward and hissed, "That."
"Honestly, Kurt, I don't know what you're talking about. What can I not do?"
Kurt grit his teeth in annoyance and residual arousal before giving up. "You can't molest my hands with the intention of making me come in my pants!" he whispered furiously, his ears continuously reddening as he spoke. "Especially in a public place!"
"Oh, is that what I was doing?" Dave looked at Kurt through his lashes. "Well, just to be clear, your objections are to the coming in your pants and being in public?"
"Yes, of course."
Suddenly, Dave leaned over the table, getting as close to Kurt as possible. His eyes flashed with lust as he said, "Then how about we go home and get you naked?"
Kurt jumped up from the table and glared as he pulled out his wallet and tossed some cash down. He wasn't sure how much it was and he didn't particularly care at this moment.
"What're you doing?" Dave queried in alarm.
"We are leaving," Kurt answered, pulling the other man up and leading him to the door. "Now!"
Laughing, Dave followed Kurt out the door, a smug sort of grin spreading across his face. Both men were so focused that they didn't take a second glance at the waiter, who was standing by the exit still smiling.
"Good luck to you both, Kurt Hummel and Dave Karofsky," the worker murmured quietly, watching the couple leave in a haze of refreshed happiness and arousal. "May you have more luck the second time."
Soft thumps and light thuds echoed around the nearly bare apartment. Every time Kurt stumbled over Dave's slow-moving form or Dave couldn't help himself and pressed Kurt up against the wall, another quiet sound vibrated across the still air. It was like touching your tongue to a battery, the sharp shaking that crackled across the air between the two men. At the moment, Dave was pressing Kurt into the wall by their bedroom door with his hands on the smaller man's hips and his mouth on his neck yet it felt as if every inch of their bodies were pressed together, touching.
Kurt whimpered, arching into Dave's strong body. "David," he gasped, tugging on short, curly hair to make sure the other man was listening. When he heard a deep, manly grunt, he continued. "I'm so happy- so so happy that you're not going to leave me."
"Never," Dave promised, pressing hot kisses up Kurt's long, pale neck. "Never leave you. Too perfect, too special."
Sudden tears sprang to Kurt's eyes. Giddiness washed over him overwhelmingly as he breathed out a soft, "I love you, David."
Dave kissed Kurt's cheek tenderly before pulling back to look into his fiance's gorgeous eyes. "God, Kurt, I love you, too. So much, baby."
And they kissed.
Soft, thin lips pressing against rougher, fuller lips; slick tongues sliding against each other. Kurt tensed in uncertainty as he was overwhelmed by the feeling of suddenly being very small. Foreign yet familiar callused hands grasped his face roughly and the kiss took a turn into too harsh.
He jerked back to ask just what the Hell Dave thought he was doing but stopped abruptly at the sight in front of him.
"David?!" Kurt squeaked out, tiny hands raising to cover his own mouth to keep the high, clear voice he hadn't used in almost a decade from making another sound.
Dave stared in astonishment before lifting his own hands to feel his face. He winced in discomfort and surprise as they grazed over the soft, rounded cheeks of his sixteen year old body.
Just like the last time they where in this locker room together, Dave let out a tortured whimper before slamming his fists into a locker and then storming out. And just like last time, Kurt stared- in shock and no small amount of fear- at the spot Dave had been standing just moments before.
"David. . ."
A/N: THIS STORY IS AU/FANTASY. As it goes on, many canon things/people will be altered (such as the bullying [obvs.], the meeting with Blaine, Kurt transferring, etc.) and some new things will be introduced. The goal is to explore the parts of Kurt and Dave's relationship that they were holding back from each other and themselves. It'll also take a look at their relationships with everyone else.
BE WARNED: story will touch on self-harm, self-destructive behaviors, and suicide. may also be slight discussion on abuse of the mental/emotional kind.
I hope you'll stick through this with me. Please review.