*Weeee... n.n My third fanfic... AND IT'S A COMEDY. :D -does the crazy "third fanfic" dance- ROFL.. anyway, I still do NOT ow Weiss Kruez.. ; oo; Enjoy.*

/ / = thoughts o.o;

Crawford and the Wish of DOOM

*; Corny azz title.. XD*

Crawford was seated at the dining room table, his legs crossed and arms folded over his chest. He raised a brow and watched as Schuldich came out of the kitchen, a huge black and white chocolate cake in his hands. "Did it really have to be that big?" He asked with the upmost interest... sort of.

"Well, it IS Farfarello's birthday... or so he said. Not like we know but I figured 'Hell, why not? Everyone else has birthdays..' You, know? So... whatever. I baked a cake for him regardless. Candles and all." He smirked and set the cake on the center of the table. Seconds afterwards he struck a match and lit every one of the... really huge amount of candles. Well, he didn't count them.. he bought five boxes of... some amounts of black candles and just threw them all on.

Farfarello was sitting at the oposite end of the table, drool dripping out of his mouth, "Fire hurts God... fire hurts God..." He chanted this for an unfathomable [] Wow. o.o;;; Big word [] amount of time before he leaned over the table and blew his candles out. He snicked as he made his wish... then dug his face into cake because, well... ruining cakes hurts God.

Nagi slapped his forehead, how could Farf even do that? It was disgusting. /You freaking PIG, Farfarello. I hope you get food poisening and DIE./

/Food poisening hurts God... GOD WILL CRY IF I DIE. Fooooooddd pooooiiissseeeennninnnggg../

/Ugh...what did you wish for, anyway?/

/Farfie never tell... CAUSE NOT TELLING HURTS GOD./

/Right, okay./ Nagi raised a brow and stared at the Irishman who had dug his face into the cake. He could just faintly make out a little river of drool making it's way from the impounded cake to the table. His eyes went wide as he followed it's trail with his gaze... It was running off the table and into his lap. "DAMN YOU, FARFARELLO! KEEP YOUR DAMN DROOL IN YOUR MOUTH AND OFF OF MY PANTS." He slammed his fists on the table and stood up. "IT MADE ME LOOK LIKE I PISSED MYSELF, YOU DUMB FUCK!!! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU GOD DAMNED MANWHORE!! YOU PIECE OF SHIT!! I SWEAR!!"

Schuldich blinked in confusion then pointed and laughed at the boy who wasn't having a good day, it seemed. Just then there was a bright light in which Crawford (who wasn't paying any mind to what was going on) was engulfed in. There was a flash... and the light disappeared, leaving Crawford in the chair.. dressed in a pink body suit and tutu and big faerie wings... with pink bows in his hair.

Crawford's eyes narrowed in annoyance and he, too, stood up before noticing what he was wearing, "You damn idiots better stop playing with the damn lights before I TURN THE ELECTRICITY OFF."

Nagi and Schuldich both looked at him... and broke out in fits of laughter (while pointing, of course). Crawford, confused by all this, looked down at what he had been wearing, "HOLY SHIT. WHAT THE HELL?!"

"Hehehe," Farfarello snickered, "Pixie Crawford hurts God." He lifted his cake encrusted head from the cake and laughed "HURT GOD! HURT GOD!"

"....I knew we should have NEVER let you have a birthday... I'M GOING TO *KILL* YOU." Crawfords distorted face got even more distorted as he made his way over to Farfarello, tutu and all. Farfarello blinked as he watched the American pause.

"Wait.." Crawford said, "I have to fix something..." A hand went behind him and he (ironically.. ;) started pulling his bunched up panty-hose from his rear (for lack of better words.. ;). "Damn...panty hose... Anyw--"

Before he continued he felt some cake hit his face... and slide off his chin and onto the floor. He raised an index finger into the air and said (with a BIG, godly voice...) "I *SHALL* KILL YOU FOR THAT, FARFARELLO!" He turned around, those cool eyes searching for something to throw in return.. Ah, yes, right on the floor was a Chinese vase. He bent over to pick it up... only to have that action returned with a hand slapping his rear and a little pinch.

Schuldich snickered as he the proceeded to pull the others pink suit up (man..if Crawford thought he had a wedgie before... he's *really* going to have one now..) as far as it would go. "Nice ass, Braddy-pie... as if I hadn't already known.." He snickered once more and backed away from him in a rushed maner.

Nagi's eyes went wide as he watched the two and then his cheeks flushed bright red as he saw the Americans rear. He passed out.

"SCHULDICH!" Crawford dropped the vase and yelled before he straighted up and threw his hand in the German's way in attempt to smack him while he tried turning around. He failed miserably; his panty hose got caught on a leg of one of the chairs and he tripped and fell into the table. His face landed in the cake... He then happily sighed inwardly before he heard the table crack... and then snap. He fell to the floor along with the table.

"HURT GOD HURT GOD HURT GOD!!!!!!!!" Farfarello was now twitching uncontrollably and smashing his head into a wall while babbling "Nakie Crawford.. Nakie Crawford. ...Hurt God hurt God."

And then there was another flash and Crawford (who had managed to get up and start strangling Schuldich) was engulfed in yet another light... which soon disappeared and left a *really* nakie Crawford.

Schuldich snickered as he realized his friend was now naked, "Yeah, that looks REALLY good on you." He winked and coughed before trying to regain air.

Crawford was still strangling Schuldich when Nagi got up... and was ignoring what the German said.

Nagi blinked, took one look at Crawford.. and his jaw dropped. He pointed at him, raised his free hand to his mouth.. and spoke (;; heh..) "OH MY *GOD*!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!" ... and then he passed back out.

Crawford blinked and glanced at Nagi as the boy passed out. He.. thought he felt a breeze... and so he looked down. There was a blood curdling scream that followed.

Schuldich then snickered and dragged the American upstairs and into his bedroom where he ravished the hell out of him for hours on end.

*XDXDXD Funny? x.o; Please review. XD*