Disclaimer: I don't own Sherlock or the royal family or anything.
Author's note: Please review! Thank you! Oh, and I edited the last two chapters. I had to change Sherlock and John's ages due to the fact that John would have had to be older to have achieved his medical qualifications and army captain stuff. So they met at twenty eight, had Hamish at thirty. And are now thirty two.
"Sherlock!" The Queen smiled and stood up. She walked to him with grace, she looked younger in person.
"Auntie." Sherlock smiled politely as she embraced him. He hugged her back and she pulled away and said "You look so well!"
"I am." He nodded.
"I am glad." She nodded then turned to look at John and Hamish.
"This is my husband, John, and our son, Hamish." Sherlock gestured to them with pride in his voice.
"What a lovely family you have. Nice to meet you." She smiled "Please call me Auntie Lizzie when in informal situations." She said.
"Thank you." John nodded "Nice to meet you too."
"I wish I could have been at your wedding!" she said.
"It was a very small ceremony, Auntie. Just John, me, our landlady, and a close friend. Mycroft insisted on coming too." Sherlock explained.
"Oh, well it sounds like it was an enjoyable day." She said kindly.
"It was good." Sherlock said.
"Now, who is this?" she asked, looking down at Hamish who now was just looking around the room.
"Say hello, Misha." John called out to his son.
"'Misha'?" Prince Phillip, the Queens husband, queried with a raised eyebrow.
"His nickname." Sherlock dismissed it.
"Hello!" Hamish gave Elizabeth a wave.
"He's very sweet. Goodness, he looks like you did at his age, Sherlock. Except his eyes and hair, which I see he got from you, Doctor Watson." She said.
"Please, call me John." John said automatically and lifted Hamish off the floor to sit on his hip.
"Stamp!" Hamish shouted loudly.
John smiled awkwardly "Sorry, he first knows you as the lady on the stamp, which was before Sherlock told me he was related to you."
"Oh, Sherlock!" she said with fond complaint.
"I forgot to tell him. It's quite alright, John understands." Sherlock shrugged.
"Ma'am, lunch is served." A butler said after knocking and entering.
"Thank you. Now, come along!" she said.
They all stood up and went to a dining room.
"Do you have a high chair for Hamish?" Sherlock asked as everyone else except him and his husband and son sat down.
"Of course." Phillip said as a butler brought in a high chair.
Sherlock and John's seats were half way down the table and the high chair was placed right at the end.
"Excuse me, can you put it beside us please?" John asked.
"Oh." The butler frowned and looked towards the queen. Just then a woman entered.
"This is the nanny." Charles explained.
"Oh, no we won't be needing a nanny." John frowned.
"It's not an inconvenience, it's her job, John." Camilla said.
John held Hamish tighter.
"We won't be needing you." Sherlock said straight to the nanny.
"But I am here to look after your son." She said.
"We look after our son, as he is our son." Sherlock said shortly and went to the end of the table, lifting the high chair up and carrying it to the spot between his and John's seat.
"Sherlock! You are making a scene!" Elizabeth said unhappily.
"No, you are all making a fuss over nothing." Sherlock said.
"Sirs, I am here to feed, change, bathe, and give your son what he needs." The nanny said, coming forward with her arms outstretched as if to take Hamish.
Hamish started gripping onto John tighter "No. We feed him, change him, bathe him, and give him everything he needs and more. We are his parents." John said.
"Doctor Watson, you're part of the family now, you don't need to do that anymore." Charles said.
"Right, come along John." Sherlock said, and started guiding him out of the room.
"Sherlock Holmes, stop where you are." Elizabeth said standing "What are you doing?"
"We. Are leaving." Sherlock said, turning back.
"Why?" she asked.
"You will not tell us how to look after our son. John and I are Hamish's parents; we do not want or need a nanny. We will not be told how to be parents by someone who doesn't have any children and has no business sticking her nose in." Sherlock gestured to the woman, who blushed "Hamish is our son. And in our family that means he is in our care. It is not an obligation to look after him, it is more, we want to look after him, we enjoy looking after him. He is our baby." Sherlock said.
"Alright, alright. You can look after him on your own then. Just sit back down. You can go." Elizabeth said the last thing to the nanny, who curtsied and left.
John sighed and sat Hamish in the high chair and the husbands took their seats.
"Thank you for the offer though." John said quietly.
"That's quite alright." Elizabeth smiled politely.
"I never understood the whole nanny thing anyway." Sherlock said. "Well, I did. But since we've had Hamish I haven't wanted anyone but us two to look after him. How could anyone want to let other people parent their children?" he frowned.
"I had an au pair for a year." John commented.
"How old were you?" Sherlock queried.
"Ohh, about ten, I think. Harry was thirteen so the woman, can't remember her name, was more there for me. Our parents were having a busy year at work, having to sometimes move around the place a little." John said.
"Did you like her?" Sherlock asked.
"She was nice. My parents are good judges of character, that's why they like you, they really looked. Anyway, she was alright, but one night I had a nightmare, my parents were in Wales, and she couldn't calm me down. In the end dad had to drive down. I remember seeing him get out of the car. I was out the front door with no shoes or socks on and just ran into his arms." John said.
"You were a cute child." Sherlock smirked.
"Hey!" John protested.
"I've seen pictures; do not try to deny it." Sherlock smiled triumphantly.
"I cute!" Hamish shouted.
"Yes you are. But you can also be a little rascal!" John smiled and gave him a little tickle.
"Ahh, food is here." Harry smiled as the food was served.
"Is this alright for the baby?" a waiter asked, showing John and Sherlock the plate of food.
"That's just fine, thank you." Sherlock nodded.
The man put the plate down in front of Hamish and the children's cutlery too.
Hamish grabbed a sandwich and put it straight in his mouth.
John and Sherlock tucked in too, but kept an eye on Hamish, checking he was eating properly.
"Sherlock, we haven't seen you in quite a while. You haven't met Katharine." Charles said.
"I haven't." Sherlock nodded and looked over to the woman. It had been announced a few weeks ago that she was pregnant, she wasn't showing yet, but she looked happy.
"Congratulations on the baby." John said with a smile to Kate.
"Thank you. We're really excited." She said, taking William's hand "Though, I suppose you know the feeling." She added, nodding to Hamish.
"Oh yes. You just wait till you show! And when you can feel him or her kick." John grinned.
"I thought the kicking and hitting wasn't that pleasant." Sherlock frowned "He kept you up most of the night."
"Well, it was tiring, but it was nice to feel him there and moving. You liked feeling him moving too." John smiled.
"That I did." Sherlock nodded.
"How old is Hamish now?" Kate queried.
"He turned two a few weeks ago." Sherlock answered.
"I two!" Hamish told everyone as he waved a piece of cucumber about.
Everyone seemed to find the boy adorable.
"And are you enjoying your lunch, little one?" Charles asked.
Hamish said "Yes! Daddy, I wan' apple." he turned to John.
"Maybe you can have one later, you've got some lovely food on your plate there, darling." John pointed at the food.
Hamish frowned curiously and picked up a sandwich. He put it in his mouth and chewed then made an unpleased sound. Sherlock, with his quick reflexes, put his hand in front of Hamish's mouth and Hamish spat the chewed sandwiches out onto it. Sherlock helped Hamish get any more little bits of the sandwich out with his finger. John gave the boy a little bit of water from his glass and Hamish said "Din' like dat."
Harry chuckled "He's a funny guy."
"Who you?" Hamish asked and pointed at Harry while Sherlock put his son's spat out food in his napkin.
"I'm Harry." Harry said.
"I have a Harry!" Hamish said excitedly.
"Really?" Harry asked.
"My auntie Harry!" Hamish smiled.
"My sister." John explained.
"Harry?" Harry asked again.
"Short for Harriet. She never liked that name though; she shortened it when she was about eight." John elaborated.
"Ah." Harry nodded in understanding.
"You must feel like we're bombarding you with questions." Camilla said.
John huffed a laugh but said "Don't worry about it."
"Papa!" Hamish said and tried to lean over to Sherlock.
"Hmm?" Sherlock asked, looking down at Hamish.
"Shh, secat!" Hamish said, referring to the word 'secret'.
"Oh, a secret?" Sherlock raised an eyebrow and bent down so his ear was just beside Hamish's mouth for him to whisper into.
Hamish took a breath and then blew a raspberry onto Sherlock's ear.
John, Harry, William, and Kate laughed. Sherlock wiped his ear and said "You little rascal!" and blew a raspberry on Hamish's neck. The toddler was in hysterical laugher, as was John.
Sherlock soon stopped and ruffled Hamish's hair.
"'Gain!" Hamish demanded.
"Enough now, Misha." Sherlock said gently.
Once lunch was over they all went to a living room with very comfortable sofas.
Hamish was sat on the floor with one of Elizabeth's corgis. He was petting it and trying to get it to run around but the dog had been so well trained it was quite calm.
About half an hour into chatter Hamish was toddling and he tripped and fell over. John was quickly up and picking him up gently.
"Alright." He said as Hamish cried into his shoulder "Where does it hurt, poppet?" he asked.
"Knees!" Hamish said loudly.
John sat Hamish on Sherlock's lap and knelt before them. He rolled Hamish's trousers up and found his knees to be a little bit red.
"Just a little bit sore." John said and kissed them gently to make them better.
"I think it's someone's nap time." Sherlock commented.
"No!" Hamish protested.
"Yes, Hay." John said.
"I'll take him. I know the way around here." Sherlock said, standing as John did too.
"You're staying in the normal room, Sherlock." Elizabeth said.
"I know." Sherlock stated.
"Have a nice sleep." John said and kissed Hamish's cheek.
Sherlock carried Hamish out and went up to his and John's room. He found a cot at the end of their bed and lay Hamish down gently, he closed the curtains so it was dim in the room and kissed Hamish goodnight.
When he started walking away Hamish started crying so Sherlock went back, sat at the end of the big four-poster bed, and gently took Hamish's little hand through the cot bars.
"It's alright, I'm here. Have a nice sleep." Sherlock said.
Hamish put his thumb in his mouth, and despite his original protests, he seemed very quiet because after a few mumbles he fell asleep.
Sherlock smiled and left Hamish to sleep after getting the baby-monitor out of his bag and plugging it in.
He went back to the living room area and plugged in the other monitor then went to sit beside John.
"Was he alright?" John asked, wrapping an arm around Sherlock's waist.
"He's fine. Went straight to sleep." Sherlock said.
"Good." John nodded and rested his head on Sherlock's shoulder.
"Are you alright, John?" William asked.
"I'm fine." John smiled tiredly "Just a little bit tired."
"You can have a nap too, if you want." Sherlock said.
"I don't want to be rude." John said.
"Oh no, it's not rude. We understand, running around after a toddler can't be easy." Elizabeth said.
"Are you sure?" John asked.
"Quite sure." Elizabeth smiled.
"I'll show you to our room." Sherlock said, standing and pulling John after him once they were up.
They got to their room and John said "I'll get up when he wakes up. Have fun with your family." as he got into bed.
"If I did that I'd be in this room with you." Sherlock said.
"That's a lovely thing of you to say, for me. But they are your family too, they all seem very nice." John said.
"Appearances, John. Nothing more. You are my family. Just you and Hamish. They are… relatives." Sherlock said and bent over to give John a kiss.
"Can I stay with you?" Sherlock asked suddenly, drawing away.
"Of course, if you want. But I think you'll get a bit bored." John said "All I'll be doing is sleeping."
"That's okay. I can watch you!" Sherlock smiled.
"Sherlock Holmes, you are not staring at me while I sleep again! Just… go downstairs and spend some time with your relatives." John said.
Sherlock huffed "Fine. Sleep well, John." He kissed John one more time, went over and checked on Hamish, then left.
The royal family sat in silence. They had heard the conversation between Sherlock and John on the baby monitor. Sherlock soon entered and sat down then said "Why are you so quiet?"
Suddenly John's voice came through the monitor "Sherlock, if you're there, we left the monitor on. You can unplug it, I can hear Hamish if he cries now."
Sherlock unplugged the monitor and sat back down then said "Oh. You heard what I said." he stated.
"You don't consider us your family?" Charles asked.
"No." Sherlock said.
"Sherlock, we watched and helped raise you alongside your parents." Elizabeth frowned.
"The nannies and my parents raised me, you simply watched, but you have too many obligations to focus on everyone. And you haven't been there when I actually needed someone. I brought shame onto you. John… John has never been ashamed of me. He loves me. He has supported me from the day he met me. The day he met me. Whatever I've done, he's been there. Sure, he's not always happy with my rudeness to others, but he is there and he isn't ashamed of me. Family is love, not blood. You are my relatives, that is all." Sherlock stated.
"Sherlock, think of what the public would have thought!" Phillip exclaimed.
"Your drugged up royal. A press field day. I understand." Sherlock said.
"Sherlock…" Elizabeth sighed.
"I came here because I had to. Now, let us move on. When are my mother, father, and Mycroft going to get here?" Sherlock asked "I presume others are coming."
"Sherlock." Sherlock turned towards the door when he heard his brother's voice "I trust you have already insulted half the people here." Mycroft said.
"Good to see you, brother dear." Sherlock said.
Just after Sherlock and John had met the brothers had reconciled and were on much better terms.
"Likewise. And good afternoon to you all." Mycroft said to the room with a slight nod, he entered and sat beside Sherlock gracefully.
"Mycroft! Just on time!" Elizabeth smiled.
"Of course." Mycroft nodded "Where are John and Hamish?" he asked.
"Bed. Hamish is having his nap and John's joined him, he didn't sleep well last night." Sherlock said.
"Ah. Well, I look forward for when they wake. Mummy and father will be here tomorrow morning in case you wondered." Mycroft commented.
"Okay. Oh, and when will Lestrade be here? I assume you invited your boyfriend. And I see you had a quick shag only… half an hour ago." Sherlock looked Mycroft up and down.
Mycroft stared at Sherlock while Elizabeth gasped and Charles said "Sherlock!"
Mycroft sniffed and said "Sherlock, I will-"Sherlock cut Mycroft off.
"You will what? Don't bore me with empty threats, when mummy arrives tomorrow she'll take my side. I'm her baby." Sherlock said smugly.
Mycroft sighed and said "I informed Gregory just this afternoon, he's glad for a few days off work, so yes, he will be coming. Sadly he is finishing clearing up the mess of paperwork you left after you and John jumped into the Thames last week."
"What happened?" Kate asked, leaning forward with interest.
"John and I didn't have an option. It was jump or get beheaded by a psychopath with a liking for medieval methods." Sherlock said.
"Anyway, he will be here for dinner. Oh, and Sherlock, is Hamish off the bottle yet?" Mycroft asked, clearly trying to show Sherlock up.
"Mycroft, firstly, that isn't embarrassing. He's two years old. Secondly, no he is not. He likes the comfort." Sherlock said.
"Boys, can you, for five minutes, go without teasing each other?" Phillip asked.
"Doubt it." William said and Harry laughed.
About an hour later John and Hamish walked into the living room. John had a bottle of milk in his hand and Hamish holding his other hand and toddling in.
"Hello, sweetheart!" Sherlock smiled and reached his hands out. Hamish said "Papa! I wake and daddy was dere!"
"I know! He was tired too!" Sherlock smiled and sat his son on his lap.
"I woke up just before he did." John said, sitting on the other side of Sherlock and passing his husband the bottle "Hello, Mycroft." John greeted.
"Afternoon, John." Mycroft nodded and Hamish said "My!" loudly.
Mycroft smiled at him "Hello, dear nephew, did you have a nice sleep?"
Hamish nodded and when he spotted his bottle he went "Mmm." And reorganised how he sat. He, with Sherlock's help, soon sat cradled in Sherlock's arms, his head resting on the crook of Sherlock's elbow, Sherlock held the bottle but Hamish had one hand on it as he sucked on the teat contently, making content sounds every few seconds.
"Isn't he a bit too old to do that?" Camilla asked with a rather judging look on her face.
"No. He likes being fed like this." Sherlock said.
"Shall we go out to the gardens once he has finished?" Elizabeth suggested.
"Hamish will enjoy that." John commented while everyone nodded.
Author's note: More to come as soon as possible! And remember, this is all made up, I am not judging the royals' parenting methods.