I have been working like a fiend, but I have been slowly working on this! In fact I have the next chapter all worked out and started too! Buckle up, here we go! :)
Content, completely and totally. She was kissing me slowly and affectionately and it dawned on me how absolutely surreal this all was. It just came over me that I was in my bed, having sex with Paige McCullers. Paige McCullers. Paige McCullers and sex.
We had known each other for so long and it was crazy to think how she used to be nothing to me but a teammate. I felt almost regretful. She was this incredible person and why had I wasted so much time not noticing, not getting here faster?
I couldn't even begin to wrap my head around what I was feeling about her and about everything that was happening. It was a lot to deal with on top of the million other things going on.
My face must have showed the many things that were running through my head because suddenly we weren't kissing and she was whispering to me.
"Emily," she whispered. "What is it?"
A look came over her, that look she gets when she's scared. Her face always conveys her emotions and that particular one always comes when she's beating herself up about something.
I brought my hand to her cheek, trying to reassure her.
"Don't," I continued. "Don't think what you're thinking. I'm not sorry. It was perfect. I just... there is so much going on. I don't want to hurt you, Paige. My life is so complicated, such a mess, and you…"
I trailed off, trying to put my jumbled thoughts and emotions into words. Looking at her and thinking about her, all I could do was smile.
"…you're so wonderful to me. For me. I just want to be good enough for you too."
As the words left my mouth, I was overcome. I was feeling so much, so fast. I didn't want to hurt her or make her feel one ounce of sadness. I wanted to cry thinking about all the damage I could do just by having her near me.
She shook her head and propped herself up, looking down at me.
"You're everything to me," she stated. "Maybe your life is complicated. Your friends, the trial, Nate…Maya…"
As she said the name I could tell she immediately regretted it. I felt a twinge of pain, not entirely for Maya, but mostly for how much using the name seemed to hurt Paige. It was just one more thing in my life that did.
"I want you," she continued. "I don't care about any of that. I just want to be here for you. Whatever you want or need. I don't know what tonight meant to you but for me, it was perfect. A dream come true."
How could someone be so perfect to me? She was saying all the right things, doing all the right things. I just wanted to cry I was so filled with emotion. Instead, I looked at her and I couldn't do anything but smile. My sweet Paige.
"You're perfect, Paige."
She started to blush like she always did whenever I expressed how I felt about her. She was always blushing and looking away like it was so impossible that what I was saying could be true. All I could do was look up at her, willing her to see what I saw. With Paige, the best thing to do was show not tell. So, I pulled her to me and kissed her. I kissed her with everything I had, trying to convey how much I wanted her.
My arousal returned in full force; I needed her again.
I started kissing down her cheek to her neck. She turned her head to the side, allowing me access to her favorite spot on her neck and to return the pleasure she was receiving she crawled on top of me. I groaned at the sudden pressure all over me. My body had gone from calm to completely turned on in record time.
Paige leaned up to me then, resting her hands on either side of my head. I looked up at her; she was so beautiful. At that moment, I knew what I wanted, knew what I needed.
"I want to taste you, Paige."
She held her breath for a moment and turned red all over. I knew she was completely caught off guard by this side of me and I loved every second of it. I was proud of myself. I wanted to make her want me as much as I wanted her. I loved making her squirm, loved to take her breath away.
I couldn't help but grin at her reaction. She was turned on and I was the cause of it. Who wouldn't feel a little proud? Paige McCullers, undone. It was a great feat.
She was so stunned that she was just staring at me now, so I started kissing her lightly on the lips and then down her jawline to her neck. Again, I kissed her in the spot I knew drove her the craziest. I started sucking on it and she moaned, letting me know just how much she enjoyed it. She was getting so wet again and I could feel it against my skin. She was rubbing into me and feeling how turned on she was the last straw. I had to have her, all of her.
I pushed her up in a sitting position, her legs wrapped around me, bringing our centers together. We both gasped. She felt so good. We fit so perfectly.
I quickly latched onto her breast and started moving my hips into her, trying to calm the want inside of me.
I knew she felt it too because as I began to rub against her, her eyes rolled back into her head and she let out this noise like the feeling was too much. It was almost a hiss like you make when something hurts. We were burning. Our body heat and the friction were almost, in the best possible way, agonizing.
Then, it occurred to me that I had once again let my lust get the better of me. She just felt so good in my mouth and pressed into my center. I had to make sure she was okay with this though. I had to make sure she wanted more too.
I choked out in a deep voice, "We can stop. Any time. Just tell me if…"
She didn't respond with words. Instead she just took my hand and put it between us, on her. She held it there and we both squealed. She was so wet.
"Jesus…" I shrieked as I felt her warmth and wetness on my fingers. I leaned forward, resting my forehead to my chest for support. "…you're so wet."
I looked up and our eyes met. I knew then we were on the same page. I was rubbing her lightly, teasing her, working her up. Then, I abruptly slipped two fingers inside of her. Her eyes snapped shut. She whimpered and wrapped her arms around my neck, bringing her mouth to my breast.
I was pushing in and out of her as she did the sexiest thing yet and started to lift up and ride my hand. I was moaning just as loudly as she was at action. She was completely letting go, shamelessly doing everything she could to fall over the edge. We were both sweating and letting noises fall freely out of our mouths as we worked together to make her come.
I felt her tense up and she clenched around my fingers inside her. She gripped me tighter and as she let go her eyes popped open and her head tilted back, letting out a full-fledged scream.
She was out of breath and gasping for air, her chest heaving. I was so pleased. All my actions had led her to a complete and total release. I just grinned at her.
I was still inside as I watched her twitch, the aftershocks flowing through her.
I pulled out and I immediately brought my fingers to my mouth, tasting her. She tasted so unbelievably good and I forgot how much I missed this. The feel, the flavor, of another girl. I was humming because I was so happy taking in Paige's unique taste. I felt her eyes on me and I was positive she was blushing.
I opened my eyes and popped my fingers out of my mouth. Paige was looking at me in disbelief, mouth hanging open. My eyebrow arched up and I was so happy and proud of myself so I playfully said, "Hi."
"Hi," She replied, gulping. "That was, um..."
She shook her head, enable to find the words and I felt myself smile even bigger causing her to roll her eyes.
"Who are you?" She asked, letting out a small chuckle.
Suddenly, I blushed. It dawned on me at that moment how uninhibited I had been. I was completely out of control and whereas I enjoyed it, it was the strangest thing.
"I don't know," I admitted. "That has never happened before. I've never been so…"
With Maya it was always delicate and slow. We took our time. I was of course attracted to her and we had passion between us, but Paige brought out something different in me. I wanted Maya physically, but not to this level. There wasn't a hunger, a need, for each other.
"Never?" She perked up, obviously proud of herself.
I felt guilty that I didn't behave this way with Maya. She never got to see this side of me. I felt awful that she didn't bring this part of me out. Paige did. All the time. Terrible things could be happening and still I was picturing us doing this, getting lost in each other physically. I lowered my head, hiding my face as I spoke.
"Paige, you make me feel… I want you. All the time. Sometimes when something bad happens, all I want to do is…this."
I looked at her now and I knew she could tell what I was feeling.
"I just want to let go of everything. I don't want to do deal with it," I finished.
She just stared back at me in disbelief.
"Emily…" She whispered. I'm sure she didn't know what to say.
Instead of talking, she pushed me back onto the mattress and positioned herself between my legs. We were both shivering, both of us completely shaken. The mood had changed and we both knew it. We wanted more and not just physically. We both needed to know it wasn't just about sex, especially after what I had said.
She looked down at me, never breaking eye contact. Paige was always hiding her face from me, looking away. I guess she couldn't deal with the intensity between us or maybe it was her insecurities. Either way, this time she didn't break eye contact. We both just stared into each other, even as she leaned down and kissed me gently.
Suddenly, she started kissing downwards, leaving a trail of kisses and licks down my chin, neck, and chest. She started moving further and further down my body. She teased my breasts and kissed down my stomach. It felt so good and my body arched up, begging for more contact.
I knew what she was doing, where she was going. Even though the thought excited me, I had to make sure she was ready.
"Paige, what are you doing? You don't have to…"
"Shh," she said quietly.
She had never done this before and I'm sure she was nervous, but she seemed so determined. She was so eager and it was sexy as hell. Just thinking about her mouth on me like that was starting to push me over the edge.
Then, suddenly, she connected with my center, slipping her tongue out of her mouth to slide it against me.
I couldn't handle it. I lifted off the bed entirely and screamed. A full, loud scream. I couldn't hold it in. I was losing it, unable to think or feel anything but pleasure. It felt better than I could have ever imagined. I was completely gone. Unable to deal with the pleasure, I reached above my head and grabbed my bed frame, bracing myself for what was about to happen.
She was holding me down as I thrashed around under her. I didn't care about anything anymore. Everything in the world had disappeared from my mind and all I knew is that I wanted her to never stop. I was arching into her more and groaning. Paige never wavered. She never stopped.
She kept going more and more, until all of a sudden she slipped two fingers inside or me.
I couldn't take it. My body was screaming and so was I. I lifted up and her mouth and hand just followed me, never stopping. It hit and I pushed against her harder to try and make the feeling last.
My brain was completely fogged over and I laid still, wiped out.
She removed herself from me and I threaded one of my hands through my hair and reached the other one out to meet hers.
As our fingers fell between each other's I opened my eyes and brought my hand to her cheek. Her hair had fallen almost completely out of its bun and was sticking out. We were both sweaty and a mess but we didn't care. How could we? We were at peace here. Together. Satisfied.
My eyes got heavy as I started to fall asleep. She got up briefly and pulled the covers out from under me and crawled back into bed and wrapped us up in them. I snuggled up next to her, my mind at ease, my body at peace.
The sun started creeping in and pulled me out of sleep just a few hours later. Paige had ended up behind me, spooning me. She kissed my neck and I saw her sneak a peak at my face over my shoulder. She leaned down to my ear and whispered, "Good morning."
I rolled over and looked up at her, smiling, genuinely happy.
"How are you?" I asked.
She pushed my hair back and responded, "Good. Very good… last night was..."
We both blushed and I couldn't help but bury my face in the mattress. Last night was so intense and we had both done things that were so sexy and intimate it was hard to look her in the eye.
"Well, that pretty much sums it up," she joked.
I looked up at her a couple of seconds later and she was deep in thought. I sat up.
"Paige? Where did you go?"
"I just remembered we have school… and a lot of other stuff. It just occurred to me that we have to go back into the world."
I sighed because I knew she was right.
"Can't we just stay here? Right where we are. Just us?"
She broke out in the most beautiful smile at the thought. She sat up and kissed me softly and then planted a kiss on my forehead.
"Trust me," she said. "This will be happening again very soon."