Hello everyone! So, I'm finally back home! I thought this would mean I would have more time to write but it didn't work out that way. So much has happened over this past month that I seriously had no time to do anything. I won't bore you with any of the details, don't worry. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and happy new year! Mine was pretty good. Some drama that prevented me to write until now but that's over with. So sorry for the wait again! I hope you all enjoy this chapter. My laptop isn't working that well right now so this is being written on my phone so this is another short one and if there are any errors, I'm very sorry!
Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom of the Opera
Things have been going…well, great. I'm really surprised about that. If anyone asked me months ago if I could ever actually care about Erik, let alone enjoy my time with him, I would have laughed in their face. But here I am, trying to look my best for him everyday now and want to spend all of my time with him. Well, him and Sasha. I couldn't just forget about my adorable cat. I made sure that Erik got use to her being around us. She was my rock for a while when things weren't that great around here. So, Erik would just have to deal with her.
"Why is that cat in the music room?" Erik had asked me one night before our music lesson. I had snuck her in the room and had hoped he wouldn't notice but I didn't expect it. Erik notices everything.
"Cause I didn't want her to be lonely." I said as I picked her up.
"I think she can survive a few hours." He said while giving her a distasteful look.
"She's just a baby though." I said and hugged her closer. "She'll be quiet, I promise."
Well, she was for the first hour. She started to rub against my legs while I was singing and it was pretty distracting. Erik sighed when he noticed and glared down at Sasha.
"I thought you said she wouldn't bother us." He said as I kneeled down next to her and scratched behind her ears.
"Technically I said she would be quiet." I said with a smirk.
"I should have never gotten that damn cat." He muttered. "She's just a distraction."
"No, she keeps me company." I said and he looked down at me.
"Is my company not good enough?" He asked and I almost flinched at the hurt in his voice.
"I didn't mean it like that." I said. "I obviously like spending time with you. I just like having Sasha around too. And I've always wanted a pet. Didn't you ever want one?"
"I suppose." He said and I was glad to hear a lighter tone in his voice. "When I was about five, I wanted a dog."
"A dog? You wanted a dog?" I laughed and he tilted his head.
"Why is that such a shock?" He asked and I shook my head.
"You just don't seem like a dog person." I told him. "You like your alone time and dogs are really needy. That's why I thought you would like cats better."
"I didn't like alone time back then." He explained. "My mother didn't give me any positive attention and a dog sounded nice at the time."
It always made me feel so sad when Erik talked about his childhood like that. Picturing Erik as a child practically begging for love was heartbreaking.
"What kind of dog?" I asked trying to get that image out of my mind.
"A cocker spaniel." He said and I smiled. Raoul's aunt had one and that dog was the sweetest thing. Oh...Raoul. Still can't get my mind off of him. In fact, ever since Erik and I started this weird relationship I think about Raoul so much more. I know this thing is wrong in a lot of ways. But if Raoul ever found out about this, it would kill him.
Erik being himself, noticed my sudden change in mood and asked what was wrong.
"I just...sometimes miss some things." I told him. Even though I didn't out right say anything about Raoul, I could tell he knew I was talking about him.
"Christine, if given the chance of staying or leaving...what would you choose?" He asked quietly and turned his attention back to the piano.
I bit my lip as I thought about it. What would I do? A part of me would take the chance to leave in a heartbeat. But...
"I would stay." I told him.
"You don't need to lie to spare my feelings." He said as I stood up and sat next to him on the piano bench.
"I know but I'm telling you the truth." I said and leaned up against him. "If I left, I would miss you. And I bet you'd miss me too."
"That's quite the understatement." He said and hurried his face in my hair. "So, I take it that you are happy here?"
"Mhm." I breathed. "Id be happier if you liked Sasha, though."
"She makes you happy so, I suppose I can learn to like her." He muttered and I smiled. I quickly picked Sasha up and placed her on his lap. He didn't look that pleased but I ignored it.
"Come on, just pet her!" I said after a moment and he sighed before doing as I said. "Was it that bad?"
"I suppose not." He said as Sasha purred and snuggled close to him. "I'm surprised she likes me."
"Who wouldn't like you?" I asked and he chuckled.
"I could name a few hundred people." He said and I rolled my eyes.
"Well, they don't matter." I said and he nodded.
"Only you do." He said and I smiled as he pulled me close to him.
We spent a lot of time just cuddling and kissing after that. Still nothing on the lips, though. I'm still terrified to do that but Erik seems content with what we have. I wonder how long that'll last...
Anyway, things were going really great up until one point. It was in the morning and I just woke up and was eating breakfast across from Erik when there was a knock on the front door. I dropped the spoon that was in my hand and jumped up. Erik cursed under her breath and quickly walked next to me.
"Go to your room." He said as there was another knock on the door. I stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do. "Please." He said and I nodded and ran to my room.
I sat on the edge of my bed and tried to calm myself down. Who was at the door? Would they find me? Would they take me away? Would I let them?
After about thirty minutes, I heard footsteps coming upstairs. I held my breath as I listened to the conversation outside my door.
"Khan, you are a paranoid old fart." I heard Erik say. Mr. Khan? Here? Why?
"I was suspicious. And I know your moral code is practically nonexistent." I heard Mr. Khan say.
"Your faith in me is insulting." Erik said. I stood up when I heard the voices right outside the door.
"Ms. Giry informed me that a man in a white mask was there that night Ms. Daae disappeared." Mr. Khan said.
Meg? She's talking to Mr. Khan about Erik? Is she that worried about me? I felt a pang of guilt when I thought about her. She still must be so worried and here I am, being happy with the man that stole me away.
"I don't believe white masks aren't that uncommon of a thing." Erik said. "And have you seen Ms. Daae anywhere in here?"
"Well, no." Mr. Khan said reluctantly. "But I didn't look in every room yet."
"Go right ahead." Erik said. How can he sound so calm, I thought to myself. "However, if she was here, wouldn't she be screaming out for your help right now?"
"Maybe you threatened her." Mr. Khan said.
"Khan, how much of a monster do you think I am that I would not only kidnap a girl but threaten to harm her?" Erik asked.
There was a tense silence. I guess Mr. Khan was thinking the situation over. I took this time to think my own situation over.
Christine, a voice in my head said, you can scream out for him and Mr. Khan could find you. He could take you away and you can be free. You can have your old life back and it could be like none of this ever happened! You have to hurry up and do something before he leaves!
But, then I wouldn't see Erik anymore. Everything I had with him would be gone. If I did that, it would kill him. And I'm not even sure if I could function right without Erik around anymore.
Well, maybe you won't even have a choice in the matter. Mr. Khan could just walk in here at any minute and take me away.
I stayed quiet and waited for Mr. Khan to say something.
"Erik, I'm hoping that I'm not putting too much faith in you." Mr. Khan sighed. "I haven't seen or heard anyone here so I can assume you didn't take her."
"Why, thank you." Erik said sarcastically. "This visit has been lovely but I'd appreciate it if you left. I came here to relax and your making it hard to do so."
Mr. Khan agreed to leave and I heard them both walk away from the door. I sighed and placed a hand over my quick beating heart.
It was only a moment before Erik came into my room. I expected him to look angry over the whole situation but he looked more shocks than anything.
"That was close." I said to him. "I can't believe Meg actually figured out it was you...are you okay?"
"Why...why didn't you try to leave with him?" He asked and I shuffled a little. "You had the perfect opportunity to and yet, here you are."
"Well, I wouldn't want to leave you." I told him. "I'm pretty sure we had this conversation before. Didn't you believe me when I told you I would choose to stay with you?"
"No." He said honestly. "Christine, I kidnapped you and kept you here against your will. Why would I believe you would want to stay here?"
I walked over to him and gave him a tight hug. He quickly returned the embrace.
"Just please believe me when I say I truly care about you. I would never want to hurt you and leave you." I told him.
"I don't deserve you." He sighed and pulled back.
"Of course you do." I told him. "Everyone deserves to be happy."
"Not everyone." He said.
"Well, every good person deserves to be. And don't you dare say you aren't a good person." I said as I saw him open his mouth to speak. "Because you are. Now stop being all sad and stuff. I know this whole situation was stressful." I reached up to take off his mask and he only flinched slightly. We were making progress with that at least. "So let's just relax. And please know that never in my right mind would I want to leave here."
"Mon ange." He whispered and gently kissed my forehead.
I should have been thinking about Meg and how worried she must feel. I should have been thinking about Raoul and how much pain he was in. I should have been thinking about how selfish I was being. But, all I could think about was how good it felt to be with Erik. And thinking about it now, I can't even begin to describe how horrible that makes me feel. I always prided myself in thinking that I was a selfless person and cared about those around me with all of my heart. Now I've abandoned them and gave up the chance of leaving here just so I can feel good. I'm a terrible person.
Does that mean I don't deserve to be happy?