I really wanna finish this story. This story will be a starting point to multiple other crossovers. Ever since playing Bioshock: Infinite, I really wanted to write a self-insert there, or a crossover, whatever.

Ok, here's where I catch a snag. I never really download the DLC's and usually wait until the game of the year edition comes out so I only have to buy the thing once. Did a DA2 game of the year or legendary edition come out? Because I've never come across one and I have never played the DLC's.

I'm sorry if you guys want to see Sebastian in here, but I don't know his character. Watching YouTube videos or reading his character up isn't the same as playing with him in the game. If I try to put him in here, I'll just yuck up his character.

And, I'm sorry as well for updating so late. Exams kicked my ass these last few weeks and my brain powers were focused on passing my courses. I'm really trying to crank these babies out but long bouts of inactivity really suck away inspiration and shit.

Also Game of Thrones, that shit will drag you into its awesome.

I desperately needed the internet.

Not because of anything trivial like checking my email, or logging into Facebook or 9gagging. No, I needed the internet because I can't fucking remember what happens next after Hawke accepts to collect fifty gold sovereigns to become a partner in the Expedition. I can't remember what mission they have to go on to meet this companion or what we need to do to earn their loyalty…

… Ok, so maybe I'd like to check on Facebook, 9gag and YouTube as well… I'd also like to check if any video games that got released while I was here.

I wish I had the chance to print out the entire Dragon Age wiki before coming here, which would have helped me a lot! Maybe I can ask Manah for an inter-dimensional laptop with a fast internet connection? Why not, right? How did the other self-insert authors deal with this anyway? Memorizing every event in the game they were thrust into. I mean, I can remember the most important events in a game, but not everything!

I was forced out of my inner monologue when amethyst coloured eyes locked on my own brown ones. Sin Kaiser was looking at me with a raised platinum eyebrow. The Dalish elf was usually quiet and even with me she only spoke when she needed to. Today she wore light plated armour with red leather covering the sections of her body not protected by armour. Two daggers were sheathed at her hips as well as her back, each pair a different design.

"What?" I asked her after taking in her appearance. Sin took her time to shift to her other foot before replying to my question.

"There have been a few developments," She said before tossing a sealed scroll on top of my desk. The action caused a few loose articles of paper to fly off which in turn made me scowl. I hated paperwork more than anything else! And messed up paper work which I meticulously sorted and piled was the worst kind! But the elf seemed to not have noticed my souring mood when she began her report, "The Hawkes have been tackling jobs all over the city; from simple odd jobs to bounty hunting. Whatever they needed to do to get the gold needed for the expedition I suppose." While she spoke, I snapped off the seal before unrolling the scroll. It was an account, a very detailed account, of the Hawkes activities for the past few weeks. Timetables of their daily activities were written on the piece of paper. Whoever the scout was spared nothing of his or her observations. It was like I was reading a story with how well written it was.

"Who wrote this?" I asked as I used my right hand to dig through the right hand drawer of my desk.

"One of our newest recruits did. I have to say I was impressed myself with how well he did this report." Sin easily caught the bag of coins I tossed her way. She jiggled the bag a bit before raising a brow again.

"Effort needs to be rewarded its due. A dozen sovereigns for whoever did this," I said simply before shooing her out of my office so I could read the report in private.


During one of my skirmishes with another mercenary group that tried to take me out, I found out a rather disturbing, or interesting, feature to my power.

Now, usually I go for the long ranged opponents before anything else. That meant I kill the mages and rogues first. Rogues were an especially annoying bunch. Each one could find that small chink in your armour and exploit it for all it was worth. And the rogues with Bows were fucking snipers here. Thank the divines that I always commission new and stronger armour anytime I could. If I hadn't, then the arrow that struck my metal neck brace would have spelled my death.

Sorry, Got off track there for a second. What was I saying again?

Oh, right, and interesting feature I found out about my shadow magic was that prolonged exposure to intense heat solidifies the things. I only found out about this recently because I usually kill the caster before they could push me in a corner. But this time I found myself tested as one of the mage's from the group that tried to kill me went full flamethrower with his staff. On instinct, I created a barrier between us and held the fucker off as my guys killed everyone else.

After one finally think it best to stab the guy in the throat, I stop sustaining the shadow wall, only to find out that the thing actually crystalized! Like, holy shit what was that about right? I took back the 7 foot tall and 7 foot wide shadow wall back to base and asked Sun Downer to look at the thing and check if there was anything special about it.

Solidified darkness, I wonder what I could use it for?

Anyways, Sun Downer said that it would take him the better part of the week to figure this stuff out. So I guess I should find the Hawkes and help them raise the required gold to become a partner in the expedition.

I wonder who they went for first. Anders would be the most logical for me since we need his Grey Warden skills and maps of the Deep Roads.

So first stop today would be… that Ferelden relief area right? The one in Low town methinks.


Oh, it's called Lirene's Ferelden Imports! Don't I feel a bit silly now?

Also, good thing I decided to go here post haste because I can see Hawke, Bethany, and Varric and… wait is that Merrill? They went to Sundermount without me, what? Dick-move, Marian. I wanted to see Flemeth one more time damn it!

Carver is nowhere to be seen so he was either back in their manse or doing something else. I follow them into the building and find that the place was full of people. They were refugees by the looks of them, all dirty and hungry looking. Makes me sad just looking at them… Hawke and the gang are somehow at the front of the shop already while I try to manoeuvre around all these people.

"If you've got coin to spare, we won't turn it down. Donations go in the box up front." A woman, probably Lirene, said to Hawke as she did five other things at the same time. I guess you have to be able to multi-task to be able to help all these people. "Anything else you need?"

"I hear you know where I can find a Fereldan Grey Warden." The slight narrowing of the shopkeepers eyes give her away instantly and I wonder if Hawke saw it as well. This gal was about to lie.

"Only Fereldan Grey Warden I've heard of is sitting on the throne… We're out of the Blight's path now. Why would you need a Grey Warden?"

"The Healer was one of them, wasn't he, a Warden?" A female refugee standing beside me said aloud. Lirene gave the girl the stink eye before sighing in frustration.

"Well, he's not now. And busy enough without answering fool questions about it."

"Who are you protecting?"

"You see what our people face in Kirkwall. They have no jobs, no homes. Most can barely buy bread. This healer, he serves them without thought for coin. He's closed their wounds, delivered their children."

"He sounds very busy. We won't be any trouble, we promise," Merrill says. She sounds super cute by the way and not too bad on the eyes either. She had that petite thing going on for her that I could appreciate.

"He's a good man. I won't lose him to the blighted Templars," Lirene says.

"You mean he's a mage?" That was Bethany who was asking by the way. She was still wearing the special gloves I gave her that hid her staff, which was good. She wore armour plates over her usual attire now though. Her hair wasn't flowing in the wind anymore since she decided to tie it up in a short ponytail. Marian had no problem with that since her hair was cut boyish-short-but-still-hot-for-her-kind-of-way.

"Would I stick my neck out for some purveyor of hen's bane and leeches?"

"We would never turn someone over to the Templars, Mistress. Never," Bethany says.

"He doesn't want to be locked in the Gallows just for using the gifts the Maker gave him."

"Your healer is in no danger from us,"

"No mage should be persecuted because of a gift given to them at birth," Bethany says with conviction. It was good to know that my lessons of appreciating her powers stuck till now.

"I suppose it isn't my secret to keep. Anders has certainly been free enough with his services. Refugees in Dark town know to find the healer, look for the lit lantern. If you have need enough, Anders will be within," Lirene says. I guess that's my queue to announce my presence.


All of them, and I mean everyone in the building just stops and looks at me. Lirene's eyes actually widen a bit as if she didn't believe that she missed seeing a fully armoured six foot tall individual walk into her establishment. I bet it's also because she recognizes who I was. In fact, everyone recognizes me since I wear the same set of armour everywhere I go. The Didact's armour is both intimidating and bad ass, remember?

"Vas, what are you doing here?" That was Marian asking, a slight quirk to her lips and a raised eyebrow. Was my greeting funny or was she not just expecting it from someone like me? Whatevs

"Got bored in the office and decided to hook up with you guys. Sup Varric, how's it hanging?"

"Uhm, it's a good day to you to?" Ha, confused the dwarf. The only people who were happy, or interested, to see me were Bethany and Merrill. Bethany was my best bud so of course she'd be happy to see me. Merrill looks like a child who just discovered a new toy, with eyes shining and a smile so full of pure innocence it was blinding.

"And here I thought you were too busy with controlling Thedas to visit your lowly friends?" She gave me a quick hug and so did Marian. I bumped fists with Varric, after teaching him how to and the purpose behind it, and rubbed Merrill's head lie you would a kid's.

"A dictator always has time to visit the people he had to step on to get to the top! How's it going trouble makers? Any luck with the whole expedition thing?"

"We've got the money and then some, all we really need now is the maps as well as a guide to the Deep Roads. The damned place is a maze of Darkspawn and other such nasty's." So did Marian meet with the other companions already or something? I really need to stay with these guys more often lest I miss the whole fucking game since I'm busy trying to take over the whole world. Why am I doing this anyway, why am I expanding? What's the significance of my actions? What the fuck?

Probably because there wasn't any internet to occupy my time anymore…

"So you're looking for Anders, the Grey Warden in Dark town right; the mage helping anyone for free?" I had to wait through another moment of all their eyes widening before asking the obligatory question. Although Merrill's eyes widened in joy rather than shock though, cutie. "Guys, you forget that I have my people scattered throughout the whole world! Of course I'll know things like that! Information is power and all that!"

"Why in the maker's name didn't you tell us about it then? We've been running around Kirkwall for weeks trying to find a lead about any Grey Warden in the city!"

"You didn't ask! How was I supposed to know what you guys were up to?"

"I thought were supposed to know things like this! You just said a few seconds ago you had your soldiers all over the city keeping tabs on everything!"

"What, and spy on my friends? I don't want to butt into your privacy! That would be an asshole move in my part!"

"It's not butting into someone's privacy if it ends up helping your friends in the end!"

"You're just turned on by how much power I have and projecting your sexual tension on to me!" No idea where that came from but that did shut everyone up in the building. Marian's mouth closed so quickly that her teeth actually clicked together. Bethany looks embarrassed as well, blushing up so hard that her face was as red as an apple. Varric was trying to hold back his laughter at the whole thing. Merrill had both hands over her mouth as if she was scandalized or something, again pretty cute.

"Now then, can I show you where this Grey Warden is now before things get more awkward or should I just go back to the office?"

"Ooh, I like him. He's like a box of surprises, never knowing what to expect when you open it!" I looked at Merrill for a heartbeat before hugging her.

"You are just too darned cute!" She is… she is very cute. Bioware didn't do her real life cuteness any justice.


As expected, again, the people who overheard us talking about Anders meet us outside. They weren't fully armoured and their weapons were in poor condition and none of them looked like they got into any real fights or battles in their lives. I actually felt sorry for these guys, desperate enough to lay down their lives like this. Once they saw us, they drew their knives, daggers and swords.

"We heard you asking about the healer! We know what happens to mages in this town. And it ain't gonna happen to him."

"I'm as Ferelden as you are. We won't harm the healer."

The leader looked shocked for a bit, before he turned to look at his companions who all looked unsure now. Fereldan? But... you, your clothes... I figured you for a Kirkwaller. Sorry. Maker bless the rule of our King Alistair." As simple as that the whole group left, all twelve of the rag tag group.

Note to self, send some gold and some men to help these refugees. As evil as I'm becoming, I can't let these people suffer like this! I have the power and resources to make their lives better so why shouldn't I?

Should I?

Shouldn't I?

I shouldn't

I should

I should


"The refugees live here? It's almost enough to make me grateful for uncle Gamlen," Bethany says as she tries to fight off the smell with a covered hand.

I always hated Dark town. It smelled really bad and I get ornery when one of my senses gets bombarded with something bad. The smell of piss and shit and other unmentionable things that fucking move by their own, it was like one of those haunted house attractions you'd find in theme parks every so often. You didn't know if a giant spider would jump out or a guy with a knife would stab you in the back.

Very exciting, believe me.

Of course, the guys with knives were smart enough not to mess with five fully armed and hyper-lethal individuals. But there were idiots that were prime exceptions to the rule, like the Carta thugs and mercenaries roaming the sewers looking for easy prey. They came at us in a rush, maybe twenty heavily armed thugs running down a narrow corridor. The Hawkes, Varric and Merrill were about to unleash hell on them when I just snapped my fingers and the shadows on both side of the corridors exploded outwards into spikes and skewering all the baddies.

"Don't have all day gents, follow me please."

We made our way down the stairs, up another and then sideways as we approached the corner of Dark town where Anders' Clinic was located in. The whole underground town was ten times bigger than the one you explore in the game and the whole thing was divided by levels. The deeper you go in Dark town the worse it will get. Luckily Anders was located between levels two and three, not the most dangerous area in Dark town but deep enough for the Templars to not poke their noses in.


"Huh? Oh... Hawke, haven't seen you since Meeran hired me for that Red Iron job. Been a while, Heard you're going on some expedition into the Deep Roads, and right into Darkspawn territory. Sure that's wise?"

"We can't all make a living in the Undercity,"

"Just watch your back, that's all I'm saying. Say... you still in the market for some poisons? The Red Iron's been scarce, and business has been a little slow. You find any reagents and want me to whip you up something, just let me know. In fact, since you're an old friend, here's a recipe, my speciality. Everyone needs an edge sometimes, right?"

FYI, I kinda hate Anders after what he did to spark the fight between Mages and Templars. I would have approved if he didn't involve innocent people in the disaster he pulled off in the Chantry.

"I have made this place a sanctum of healing and salvation. Why do you threaten it?" Apparently the mage was ready for us. He had his staff in hand and was radiating power like crazy. Hopefully the idiot would burn himself out but that was just wishful thinking.

"We're just here to talk." Marian said as she raised both hands defensively.

Sadly I kinda zoned out during the conversation since my burning hate for Anders was clouding my thinking process and… I don't understand what happened next really.

One moment I was watching Marian and Bethany talk to Anders and the next thing you know I was holding down by the head with my foot and my great sword poised to cut his head off. Everyone was freaking out, telling me to let the only guy who knew the Deep Roads go because if he was dead then the expedition would be bust.

But why am I following the flow of things till now? I thought I set a goal to change things, mix them up and the like? Make things easier to manipulate and all that? I mean I could lead the expedition myself, right? With my power, probably a God Mode cheat, and the ability to not stay dead I could just wing it right? Fuck everything else and carve my own path.

I look down at Anders and then back to Hawke and the rest of the group. I look to my sword and then back down to Anders.

In the Immortal words of Heath Ledger's Joker:

"Introduce a little Anarchy and upset the established order, right? Sure why not!"

I swing down.


But the question is; did I do it?

I'm going to be honest with you guys. I won't be able to stay with the weekly updates but I'll try to make a regular schedule. Maybe every three weeks perhaps to a month. As I said before, I want to finish this to pave the way to other crossovers.