The characters of Sam and Dean Winchester do not belong to me; they belong to the creator of supernatural which you know isn't me.
The characters of Tansy and James Winchester however do belong to me so please do not use them without my permission.
As usual I am only using the characters for my own entertainment purposes not for anything else
Here's chapter thirteen!
This is the chapter when the brother's finally have it out with each other. The argument has been brewing for a while between them and now its erupted! It's a good thing though, now some of the issues they have with each other are out in the air they can actually begin to work towards mending the problems. It's something which I wish had happened in the series!
Anyway please enjoy!
When Sam left for Stanford it never occurred to him that life would go on without him, now his brother is back, needing his help in locating their father but he isn't alone. Sam needs to figure out where he stands now and decide once and for all whether he is a Winchester of not.
Sometimes a talk is needed whether you want it or not…
Dean Winchester/Tansy Winchester (OFC), Sam Winchester/Jessica Moore and Troy Squire/Amy Hein
Romance for this chapter
Dean Winchester / Tansy Winchester (OFC) and Sam Winchester / Jessica Moore
1st November 2005
Sam Winchester's Point of View
It was already dark by the time Sam and Dean had dropped off Tansy and James at the motel they had decided to stay at for the night, and driven the twenty minutes it took to reach the Sylvania Bridge from the main centre of Jericho.
The whole place looked completely different in the falling darkness.
Troy's abandoned car had been towed away; no doubt to the nearest CSI lab so countless tests could be performed on it to see whether there was something which had been initially missed. The activity from earlier had dispersed, the police and FBI agents no doubt heading back to the station or to get some food to discuss the case and try and piece together a believable theory which could cover all the missing men in the area.
Sam almost pitied them, knowing already that they were all wasting their time. Even if they did happen to stumble across the correct theory that something supernatural was causing all the deaths they still wouldn't have believed it, laughing the theory off as insane.
He was fairly surprised that the sheriff hadn't kept a unit of men behind the secure the area in case any potential suspects they might have had came back to the scene of the crime but he figured that they didn't have the necessary man power to do that.
It was literally as though nothing had happened at the bridge at all.
Dean parked the impala at the end of the bridge and peered through the windscreen with a thoughtful expression on his face, his eyes lingered on the structure of the bridge, remaining on certain areas before he turned away from it, tilting his head to the side so he could look at Sam instead.
"Let's just get this over and done with" he suggested with a crooked smile on his face. "I don't know about you Sammy but I could just about kill for a hot shower with good water pressure and a cup of freshly brewed coffee right about now. We can have a look around here and see whether we see anything which might point to whether this Constance chick is our supernatural girl, and then we'll head back to the motel, get you a motel room and meet back up with Tansy and try and figure out what our next step is."
"Sounds as good a plan as any" Sam agreed.
"Of course it is, I came up with it" Dean replied, flashing a wide grin at Sam before he exited the car, slamming the door closed behind him. Sam rolled his eyes, a slight smile coming to his face as he followed Dean out of the car, shivering in the sudden cold air. He shoved his hands into his pockets and walked to the front of the car, standing next to Dean and looking around the deserted bridge carefully. He had a bad feeling about this suddenly. He nervously licked his lips, glancing behind him to the empty road at the back of them before he glanced at Dean "Let's check it out" Dean remarked quietly, heading away from the car and down the bridge towards the middle where he veered off to the left, peering over the side of the bridge.
Sam followed Dean, coming to a stop beside him and glanced over the side with a nervous look. The sight of the rushing water beneath them was making him feel queasy. Just how desperate must Constance Welch have been to willingly throw her self off of the bridge in the middle of the night? She must have known when she did it that she had little to no chance of surviving the initial fall and yet something had driven her to do it anyway. Sam couldn't understand what that could have been. He wondered briefly whether she had been possessed but there had been nothing in the article they had read which would have supported that theory. According to the neighbours who had seen her that day she had been completely normal if slightly quiet.
He turned his head, watching as Dean leaned forward, one hand lightly gripping the cool metal as his eyes moved rapidly about, Sam wondered briefly what Dean was seeing, his brother had always been scarily observant when it came to both people and crime scenes, often picking up on things which other people didn't. He even picked up on things which Sam him self had missed out on.
"What are you thinking?" Sam asked, breaking the silence between them. Dean breathed out noisily and shrugged.
"I'm thinking that where we are now must have been where Constance took the swan dive from" he remarked casually, his eyes skirting the bridge thoughtfully before they focused on Sam.
"What makes you say that exactly? Why here? Why not further down?" Sam asked curiously. Dean shrugged, taking his hand from his pocket so he could indicate the bridge around them.
"Here or directly opposite are the only two places which would make any sort of sense" Dean stated simply. "Think about it, Constance clearly felt she had nothing to lose, she clearly didn't want to live, maybe she went insane when she discovered her dead kids or maybe she killed them herself and couldn't deal with the guilt of it all. She came down to this bridge with one goal. To die. If she had jumped nearer to the ends of the bridge then she could easily have misjudged the jump or the weather conditions. One strong gust of wind and she would have hit that bank hard. It would have fucking hurt like hell and she would probably have broken near enough every bone in her body but there's enough plant life down there that her fall would have been cushioned enough. She would have survived and she would have had to confront her husband and deal with the consequences of what she might have done. Someone who walks five miles isn't going to screw up at the last hurdle. The only way she could have been definitely sure that she would die is to jump from the middle. There would be no bank to save her regardless of the wind. She would die for certain, if the impact of the fall didn't kill her then the drowning definitely would have."
Sam laughed, shaking his head in disbelief.
"You sound like a flipping episode of CSI or something Dean, you been watching them in your spare time again, taking notes?" he commented with a laugh.
"Hey, I'll have you know Sammy that I'm much more then just a pretty face, don't tell me you actually thought that you were the only Winchester with a brain in their head?" Dean asked lightly, looking amused by Sam's comment. Sam shrugged
"You never showed it when you were younger" Sam pointed out. "You acted as though you were dumb" Dean snorted.
"Did I?" he replied "Or did I just not bother to show you and Dad what went on inside my head because you both had already made your minds up?" he asked. Sam stared at him for a moment before he sighed and changed the subject. One day he and Dean were going to have to sit down just the two of them and have a seriously long chat about everything which had happened during their four years apart. Sam was getting the feeling that there was more to his brother's story other then getting married and having a child.
"So do you think that Dad would have made it this far before he disappeared to wherever it is he's gone to?" he asked, looking over at Dean. "I just don't get how he could skip out in the middle of a job after everything he said to us about it all. This boy Troy is dead because Dad didn't close the deal on this hunt. He should be alive right now, you should be at home and I should be at Stanford." Dean frowned at his words, quickly glancing over at him before he spoke.
"We've got to assume that he did" Dean replied. "I mean think about it Sam, we've only been in this town for what five hours or so and we've already gotten far enough to know what we're after or at least to have a pretty damn good idea about it. Dad was here for three days as far as we know. He would have known exactly what he was after and how to dispose of the thing. Something happened to him here which sent him running, whether it was something he saw or a call he received I don't know but it must have been pretty damn important for him to do this."
"What though?" Sam demanded.
"I don't know Sam. You never know though maybe the Winchester luck will change and we'll catch a lucky break for once. I'm with you though; I don't get what the hell he was thinking"
Sam shot Dean a quick glance, his eyebrow rising when he realised that Dean had come close to criticising their father's actions in front of him. Normally Dean would have been making excuses for him but perhaps the time for that had passed.
Dean pushed him self away from the side and began walking towards the end of the bridge, moving his head side to side clearly searching for something to indicate what exactly Constance Welch had become after her death. Was she a spirit or was she something more then that? Hell they weren't even sure whether she was the person who they were looking for yet. There was always a chance, however unlikely it was that Constance's suicide merely coincided with the first missing man and wasn't in fact related to it at all.
"You coming Sam?" Dean called back over his shoulder. Sam stared after his brother for a moment still finding it hard to believe in his mind that the calm individual who was walking away from him was still the same hot tempered, act first and think later, older brother who Sam had grown up idolising and trying to copy. There was still a great deal of the old Dean in Sam as far as he could see but he certainly wasn't the same. This new Dean was someone who Sam could see him self respecting and actually building a healthy relationship with.
He pushed the thought away from his head and hurried down the bridge after his brother.
"Okay so what exactly are we planning to do now then?" Sam asked curiously. "I think we both agree that Dad isn't in Jericho anymore otherwise we would have ran into him by now so it's clearly not gonna be as simple as we had hoped it was gonna be." Dean shrugged, looking back at Sam with a smile.
"Understatement of the year right there Sammy" he teased lightly before he sighed. "It's pretty simple. We're gonna have to keep digging until we find out exactly where Dad has gone to. There's ways of finding out if you have the right connections. We just aren't gonna find him as quickly as we thought we would but you know if he is out there then we'll find him. He can't hide forever."
Sam stopped dead in his tracks, staring at Dean's back as his brother continued to walk towards the end of the bridge with a growing sense of dread in the pit of his stomach. The same feeling he always got when he realised that he and Dean were about to argue with each other. He took a deep breath and spoke.
"Dean" he stated loudly. "I told you before I even agreed to this whole rescue mission thing that I had to be back in Stanford for Monday morning, you agreed to it" he said. Dean stopped and turned round to face him, a look of puzzlement on his face as he took a few steps forward towards Sam, his eyes searching Sam's in the growing darkness.
"Yeah I know Sam, you've got to be back for the big law scholarship interview bright and early Monday morning" he replied slowly, an undercurrent of confusion to his voice as he raised a questioning eyebrow at Sam.
"Exactly so I can't stay on with you to look for Dad. I'm sorry and everything but that's the way things are now. I'm going to do this interview. I told you-"
"Sam I know" Dean interrupted with a roll of his eyes. "Trust me when I say I haven't forgotten about it all. I told you I would have you back on Monday morning by nine and I will have you back on Monday morning by nine. I don't break my promises; you should know that by now."
"Yeah but you said we-"
"I was talking about me and Tansy Sam" Dean said, looking at Sam with a half amused, half pitying look. "That was the we I was talking about, not the you and me we. We shall drop you back at Stanford like I said and then we'll stick around for dinner like we promised Jess because you know it clearly means a lot to her and then we'll come back here and search for clues for Dad before we head home."
"Oh" Sam said, feeling suddenly deflated. Dean breathed out noisily, raising his eyes to the sky as he took a few more steps forward so he was in front of Sam.
"Look I get it ok, I know how much getting this scholarship and acing the interview means to you Sam. I get it that you have this whole big plan in your head about how you want your life to be now. You want to be a lawyer and earn money. You want to marry Jess and probably eventually be a father. You want the whole white picket fenced house and the normal lifestyle you've always wanted. I mean that is your plan isn't it?" he asked "I'll be the first to admit that I can be a bastard at times Sam, but I'm not that big a bastard that I would sabotage this for you. If you want it then you go for it, end of" he said simply..
"There's nothing wrong with wanting it" Sam responded, feeling off balanced by the whole conversation. Every time he spoke to his brother now it left him feeling confused. Dean would simply respond in a way that Sam never expected him to. The old Dean would have blasted Sam for wanting a normal life, not encourage him to go and get it. "I mean why shouldn't I want that? It's what you did isn't it? You settled down the minute I was out of the picture at University, how do you think that makes me feel? I feel like I was the only thing holding you back from this perfect life you wanted. The minute I was gone you married a woman who you tell me was your apparent childhood sweetheart, a childhood sweetheart I knew nothing about even though I was with you all the time. Then you go and have a child with her and you build a life with her which doesn't include me a great deal. I mean hell Dean, you even own a house, it's not even a house is it? It's your home. That's what you call it. You said we'll head home. Home used to be where me and Dad were to you and now it's a building. You have a job which pays you, you probably have friends and neighbours and a place you're settled at. If you can have a life like that then why can't I?" Sam asked, his words rushing together in his haste to get them out.
There was a long silence.
"Sam" Dean said softly. "Has it ever occurred to you that not everything is about you?" he asked, holding his hand up when Sam when to interrupt. "No you've had your say, now I think its time you listen to me since you've clearly got to get all this bullshit out of your system. It was your choice to leave to go to University, a choice you made completely by your self because you clearly didn't trust me enough to discuss it with me. What did you think I would do? Tell Dad about your plans? You left that day, you made the choice to cut all contact with us, you not me."
"That was because-"
"I'm sure you have several reasons Sam, reasons which make sense to you, perhaps some of them would even make sense to me but what it comes down to is that you left and you're pissed off that life went on without you. What did you think would happen? We would sit around and wait for you to return to us eventually. That's not the way real life works Sam. It doesn't stop because one person wants it to. I never wanted you to leave the way you did but I would never have stood in your way. If you had told me you wanted to go then I would have told you to get on with it and stop bitching around, but you never even gave me that opportunity, and then you stopped taking my calls and that's when I realised that if you were getting on with your life then it was about time I did as well."
"Never what Sam?" Dean demanded "Expected this to happen? Wanted it to happen? Neither of those things matter anymore because it did happen. You seem to believe that I'm holding onto all this residual anger towards you but I don't, if anything I'm thankful because if you hadn't of gone to University then I wouldn't have met up with Tansy and realised she's the one, the same way that she had always been the one for me."
"I am not Dad Sam and you need to remember that, I have not once ridiculed you for your plan or told you not to do it so enough ok, just enough of the snide comments and the bitterness and everything else. I'm your brother and that's it as far as I'm concerned, I'm here if you need me end of but I'm tired of listening to you whine about a decision which you made. Its time to accept it Sam and move the hell on."
"I didn't mean it like that Dean" Sam said, "I know it was my decision and that yeah I handled things badly with you and Dad, especially with you. It's just-" his voice trailed off for a moment.
"Just what?" Dean asked curiously.
"Just that I didn't expect things to change so much between us, you're different and I didn't expect it" Dean laughed.
"It's called being a husband and a father Sam; I didn't have any choice but to grow up." He licked his lips before speaking again. "There is one thing which I am curious about Sam."
"What's that?" Sam asked hesitantly. Dean paused for a moment before he began speaking.
"Are you actually being trueful and I don't just mean to Jess but to yourself as well. I mean come on Sammy, look how easy it's been for you to settle back into the routine of Hunting, you didn't even falter even though it's been four years since you last did this. I'm not trying to tell you have to do your things in your life but it seems to me that you're never gonna be happy if you don't accept the fact that a part of you is a Hunter, there's no off switch to it, trust me on that one. You can distance your self from the life and the people in it all you want but it's always gonna be in you ready to rear up and decapitate some supernatural bitches." He said. "I mean have you actually told Jess the truth about us both? About who we are and what we've done in our childhood? Or does Jess really believe that you're just some normal dude from somewhere with a dysfunctional family who rarely talk about? Because we aren't normal, we never have been and we never will be. It seems that it's the Winchester curse."
Sam took a step towards Dean so that there was little gap between them, his hand curling into a fist at his side as he stared angrily into his brother's serious face.
"I haven't told her a damn thing about any of it and you know what Dean I'm not gonna either. Jess doesn't need to know the things that we've done or who we are or what you and your wife still do." Dean raised an eyebrow with a look of disbelief on his face.
"Well that sounds a nice and healthy way to have a relationship with someone Sam. Dude you can't base an entire relationship on a pack of lies because you know what, the more you lie and hide things the more likely they are to come out and then what will you do. There's a chance that Jess would merely shrug her shoulders if she found out about the supernatural but even I can tell that being lied to is a complete deal breaker for her. She finds out you've laid and you'll lose the best thing that happened to you Sam. You can stand there and bring up me and Tansy and how we've made it work and you can bitch about how if I've managed to have it then you should as well but you can't compare the two situations at all and you'll be an idiot if you try to and you aren't an idiot, a fucking annoying know it all little brother yes, but certainly not an idiot."
"And what makes you so different from me then?" Sam demanded sullenly.
"Because I took the high road for once. I have never once lied about who I am and what I've done in my past to my wife. I took advice from someone I cared about and realised that the only way to make it work with Tansy was to tell her to truth about everything, I was lucky that she was a Hunter her self but trust me when I say she was still horrified about some of the things we've done. There's not one thing about me that Tansy doesn't know. She knows the good stuff, the bad stuff and the stuff which should have sent her running but she still chose to remain with me and to marry me regardless of it all. She still believed and respected me enough to have our child. If you ask Jess to marry you when she doesn't know a damn thing about what's out there, what could be hunting her because of her connection to you and who the hell you truly are, then that's just wrong. You know that, I know you do or you would have asked her to marry you already and if you don't think that it's wrong then-"Dean's voice trailed off as he shook his head again.
"Then what?" Sam demanded when the silence between them threatened to continue, Dean shrugged looking up from the ground to meet his eyes.
"Then I didn't help raise you as well as I thought I had" he answered quietly, searching Sam's eyes for a moment before he turned and began walking back down the bridge, his voice carrying back to Sam on the cold still air as he continued to speak. "You can pretend all you want Sammy that you are normal but one day, for whatever reason you'll have to face up to who you really are deep down beneath all the layers of bullshit you've got going on at the moment."
"And who is that exactly Dean? Go on; tell me since you seem to know so much about me. Who exactly am I?"
"You're always going to be one of us Sam" Dean responded with a sigh, not bothering to look back at Sam. "You're a trained hunter of the supernatural, it doesn't really matter whether you want to be or not or whether you build a new life for yourself. That is what you're always going to be when push comes to shove."
"No" Sam said, coming to life. He hurried after Dean, passing him and stopping in front of him, blocking his path so the older man had no choice but to stop walking as well. "You're right about most things you've said, I'll give you that but you're wrong about this Dean. I'm not like you. I'm not going to stand back and allowing Hunting to take over my life and ruin it the same way it has ruined nearly every other Hunter's life. I'm better then this life style. I can be more then a Hunter."
"Perhaps you are better then this Sam" Dean responded quietly, running a hand through his hair. "Perhaps I'm better then this life style but what everything comes down to Sam is the simple fact that both of have a responsibility-"
"A responsibility to who Dean?" Sam demanded, mirroring his brother's action as he dragged his own hand through his hair. "A responsibility to Dad? Come on Dean; let's put it into perspective since we're having this heart to heart with each other. Dad is the man who happily abandoned us countless of times during our childhood so he could go off and Hunt yet another supernatural creature. Our father is the man who left his young son solely responsible for his other son. When are you gonna realise Dean that Dad robbed you of your childhood, he made you grow up too quickly, he made you sacrifice things that no child should have to sacrifice, and you still somehow feel as though you owe him something when the truth is that neither of us owe him anything, not when you actually think back to everything we went through in the name of his crusade. If he had actually been a decent father to us then we would have left us behind at Bobby Singer's place when he decided he had to hunt. We could have had a life there, a happy and stable one. We could have had real friends and a real chance at dating. We could have had some normal sort of life. We could have stayed in one place continuously and gone to one school and actually gained a proper education. I don't for one moment believe that you were any happier then I was growing up when it came to having to constantly move around and join a brand new school every month or so. I mean hell Dean is there one state in America left where we haven't gone to school in?
"Sam-" Dean said lowly, a warning tone coming to his voice which Sam ignored as he carried on speaking, the words erupting from his mouth as though a barrier had gone down in his brain.
"Do we have a responsibility towards Mum? Hell Dean if it wasn't for pictures I wouldn't even know what she looked like, if it hadn't have been for you telling me stories about her when I was younger then I would never have known what she was like because Dad never spoke about her. Every time we mentioned her he would grab a bottle of drink and down it. Beside you were what four when she died? How reliable are your actual memories of her anyway? What damn difference is it going to make if and when we finally get the thing which killed her? Do you think Dad is suddenly going to stop drinking and revert to a normal decent human being? Mum is gone Dean, she died and its about time that you face up to the fact that it doesn't matter what you do, she is never coming back to us."
Sam didn't have time to react as Dean leapt forward, grabbing him by his zipped top and slamming him hard against the metal support structure causing the air to erupt from his lungs in a gasp. Dean's hands gripped the material tightly as he glared into Sam's eyes, anger and disappointment burning in the green orbs. There was a heavy tense silence before Dean spoke, his voice quiet and deadly in a way which sent a shiver down Sam's spine.
"Don't ever talk about her that way again Sam."
Sam slumped back as Dean let go of him as though he couldn't bear to touch him and turned away from him, shoving his hands into his jacket pocket and walking away. The conversation clearly finished in his mind.
Sam reached up and a ran a hand over his mouth, cursing him self inside as he realised he had gone too far and managed to fuck things up with Dean once again just when they were beginning to get back on track. He just didn't understand it; it used to be so easy for him to talk to Dean about anything. He used to be able to tell from a single glance how Dean would react to something. Now however Sam felt as though he was constantly putting his foot in it. Tansy's words about getting to know the new Dean came back to haunt him making him wonder for the first time whether she was actually right. Did he actually know anything about the new Dean? Clearly treating him the same way he had treated him before wasn't going to work anymore. He would have to actually take his sister in laws advice and get to know the new Dean. Four years had been an incredibly long gap, a gap he would have to try and bridge.
"Sam? You might wanna take a look at this" Dean called out, the anger gone from his voice. Sam glanced up at him, turning to follow his brother's gaze. Constance Welch was standing on the metal railings just ahead of them, in the exact spot Dean said she would have jumped from, her body and face turned towards them clearly watching them. Sam came to Dean's side, the argument forgotten from his mind as he watched Constance look away from them and throw her self from the bridge towards the raging waters beneath them.
Sam made a sound of shock, breaking into a sprint, his heart pounding in his chest as he peered over the side of the bridge. She was gone.
"Where the hell did she go?" Dean demanded, skidding to a stop beside him and looking into the river, his eyes searching for any sign that she might still be in the water.
"I don't know" Sam responded.
He frowned, straightening his body into a standing position when he heard the familiar sound of the impala's engine purring in the silent air. He glanced at Dean with a questioning look which his brother ignored, instead turning to stare at his car, his eyes squinting in the bright beams from the head lights.
"What the-"Dean said, his voice trailing off in disbelief.
"Dude who exactly is driving your car? Did you leave the keys in the ignition or something?" Sam demanded. Dean shook his head slowly, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the keys, jangling them in front of Sam's face. Sam stared at them, eyes wide before he looked back towards the possessed car just as it jerked forward, coming to life and heading straight for them. "Dean? Fuck go, go, go" Sam yelled, turning and running in the opposite direction from the car aware of Dean running beside him, swearing under his breath about what he was going to do to the Bitch who had his car.
Sam risked a quick look back and swore; the car had picked up speed and clearly had no intention of stopping until it had mowed them down. He veered to the left, reaching the barrier and threw his body over the edge, hand reaching out and grabbing the railing, nearly dislocating his shoulder.
Biting down on his lip, he grunted in pain, slowly pulling him self back up. The impala was on the other side of the railings, still and silent and clearly not possessed anymore. Sam breathed out and glanced around him, his eyes widening when he realised his brother was no where in sight.
Sam's gaze fell to the water and his breath caught in his throat.
Writing that argument has seriously taken it out of me! Still it all needed to be said, as I said before now its out in the open they can both begin to deal with it.
Thanks for reading