Author's Note: Has this been done before? I don't even know... It seems like a natural connection for a crossover! I had so much fun writing this, you would not believe...
WARNINGS: AU, spoilers for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and Doctor Who up to series 6.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the property of JK Rowling, Bloomsbury, Warner Brothers and other associated parties. Doctor Who is the property of the BBC and other associated parties. I don't own this. Please support the official releases.
Summary: When it came to cleaning up the Department of Mysteries after Voldemort's failed attempt on the acquisition of a certain prophecy, Ministry officials were saddened to find that every single Time Turner had been destroyed beyond repair. They were perplexed, however, at the fez sitting innocently atop the mess.
By Payce D. Elui
"What's that?" The Doctor's head popped through a break in floor of the TARDIS' panelling to peer curiously around the main deck of the control room.
"What's what?" Amy asked, looking up from her drink. Where Amy was, Rory was never too far behind, and the man popped out from one of the many rooms off of the control room (the kitchen, the kitchen, the Doctor reminded himself) with two drinks of his own. He plopped down on the deckchair beside his wife, hand outstretched in the Doctor's direction.
The proffered beverage was snatched from his hand, the Doctor having made his way out from below deck and waving around wildly as he looked for the source of the disturbance.
"Now, now, Rory, wonderful as a drink is at a time like this-" he took a sip, smacked his lips and set it down haphazardly on one of the TARDIS' shelves, "-and I mean wonderful, Rory, really; if being a nurse doesn't work out, you can always venture down the dark path of drink innovation- I call it a dark path because it's more dangerous than it looks- I should know. What made you choose such a... tropical blend? But, oh, we're getting distracted again- as I was say-"
"You promised us somewhere hot for our honeymoon, Doctor," Amy cut in, brow raised.
"You've already had your honeymoon. Twice!"
Amy was not imagining the pout on the childish man's face. Heartless as she was, she waved him off, unperturbed. "You know what I mean. Don't look at me like that."
"Now, now, Pond, you're being unreasonable-"
"Don't you 'Pond' me, Doctor, I'm your mother-in-law now." She crossed her arms, a smug expression flitting over her face as her drink tipped dangerously in her grasp.
Rory snorted into his glass. The Doctor hadn't known whether to look incredulous or horrified- the 'mother-in-law card', which Amy had been wont to pulling out more and more as of recently, seemed to warrant both, and the Doctor settled his expression accordingly, floundering for words.
"I could get used to this," Rory murmured.
"It never gets old!"
"Anyway," the Doctor cut in, having recovered keen to forget the episode. He swung back to the controls of his ship; head held high and drink in hand, "as I was saying..."
He neared a rarely used screen, nose almost pressed right up against it, his eyebrows drawing up.
"Why are you beeping?"
"The TARDIS always beeps, Doctor. And hums and thrums and creaks."
It was true, the TARDIS was rarely- if ever- silent. That was the way the Doctor liked her. But this, this was something new. Pond and Pond had joined him now, coming up right behind him and studying the screen with just as much scrutiny as he. But they didn't know what they were looking for; he supposed this would double as a learning experience for them.
"This is a different beeping, Pond. More thooweep than beep. You see?" He turned to grin at her before reaching out to press an innocuously placed orange button. "Keep up!"
The TARDIS lurched.
Thooweep, thooweep, thooweep. The beeping grew steadily louder.
The Doctor's brow drew down as co-ordinates and dates and species data flashed across the screen in irregular intervals.
"What is it?"
"Humans. Oh, of course it's humans; it always is, isn't it? Humans using time travel technologies. That's not right; humans aren't allowed to use time travel technology, not yet. Not for a long time- 'til the 48th century at least, and not to this scale." The Doctor's brow was drawing up again, eyebrows in danger of disappearing into his hairline.
"Ongoing use in London from the 1800's," he muttered, pulling another screen from behind the first. He gave it a last cursory look before heading back to the TARDIS' central controls, leaning over another monitor. "Jack? No, can't be Jack, I put an end to his jumping... Not Torchwood, either... Time fluxes were concentrated to a small area of northern Scotland in the year 1993 from September 'til... June? September 'til June? Why September 'til June? Why not July? I like July. I like August even more. Why not August?"
"Schools run from September 'til June, Doctor," Rory said. "Maybe it's not as random as you think?"
"Schools? So you're telling me that you think that a child in a school was time travelling every day in the year 1993?" He frowned again, glaring at the screen which seemed to yield no answers.
"...Just a thought."
The Doctor scrutinised the screen once again before his eyes brightened in recognition and he clapped. "And an excellent one at that! Good Rory, clever Rory! Of course! I know who we're dealing with! Come to think of it, Ponds, Amy should really have been my first clue."
"Time travelling Scots!" the Doctor declared, pulling a lever and sending the TARDIS to lock onto the biggest concentration of whatever contraption the humans were using to travel time. "Well... I suppose they're not all Scots, that's not being fair. The books showed that well enough."
"So, I suppose we're dealing with Time Twisters, then. No, no, Time Turners, that's it. Tricky things, Time Turners."
"I've heard that before," Amy said. "Where have I heard that?"
The Doctor designed not to reply right away, instead jaunting down the stairs to reach into the cupboard beneath them and pulling out a stack of books. Pelting back up the stairs, he dropped them on a counter-top, before racing back to his controls. Not soon enough- the TARDIS tipped on edge and Amy shrieked as the books leapt at her in the momentary confusion while she scrambled for a hold. She glared at the offending objects for the whole of a split second before turning back to the Doctor with wide eyes.
"You're joking, aren't you? Tell me you're joking."
The Doctor winked.
"Harry Potter's not real, Doctor. He's a fictional character. I should know- I waited for my Hogwarts letter almost as long as I waited for you!"
"Letter? Why would you get a letter? You're a moogle, moogles don't get letters."
"Muggles, Doctor. But that's besides the p-"
"Muggles? Ah yes, muggles, that's the word. I haven't read the books in a while, busy you see, and I'm terribly under-acquainted with their culture, they don't seem to like outsiders much, and-" he leaned over, conspiracy hanging over his shoulders like a heavy shroud, "-between you and me, they're terribly... well, boring."
"...Boring?" Amy repeated faintly.
"Well, yes. They... well, bring a wizard on board and what happens? 'It's wonderful, it's amazing, it's bigger on the inside?' No, no, no, it's 'my playhouse does that too.'" The Doctor sniffed. "Well my TARDIS travels through time and space! Ha!"
The TARDIS whistled comfortingly and the Doctor patted the dashboard in thanks.
"You've actually lost it, haven't you? Rory, he's-"
"No, no, Pond, I'm as sane as I ever was. Very, very sane." At her look of disbelief and her instance on her husband's medical opinion, he ushered her away. "Take a seat, you'll see eventually!"
The fiery redhead pursed her lips before turning on her heel, grabbing her abandoned deckchair and retreating to the other end of the room. Rory eyed the books scattered on the floor with a sigh before bending to pick them up, putting them somewhere where they wouldn't be trodden on. Or in danger of assaulting his wife again.
"So..." He said, turning back to the Doctor. He cleared his throat. "You keep Harry Potter in the... cupboard under the stairs?"
The Doctor beamed. "I was hoping you'd catch onto that! Witty, isn't it?"
Rory's mouth opened, closed, opened again. Thinking better of it, he shook his head and turned to go join his wife.
† † †
The TARIS groaned.
"So... Harry Potter is real, then." It was a statement not a question, and the Doctor looked up at Amy's sombre tone.
"What about other 'fictional' things? Lord of the Rings? Eragon? ...Twilight?"
"Hm... elements of them existed in some form. Hobbits, for example, very hospitable people, Hobbits. Dragons exist too, but they're pretty closely regulated in your time. Notoriously moody, though. Vampires, certainly, but... they aren't like they're depicted in those books. A lot more..." he wiggled his fingers as his lips curled up, "...teeth. No other 'fantasy' book comes as close to being a reality than Harry Potter. Brilliant, really." The Doctor flitted from control to control as he talked. He was like that; never one to stay in one place for long.
"But why only that one?"
"Humans are brilliant, Pond." The Doctor enunciated his point with a flail of an arm as he turned to face her. "Across the stars, human imagination is... not unrivalled- given the billions of life-forms out there, that would be impossible- but it shines. And Ms. Rowling, lovely woman that she is... she's special. Very special. I saved the world with her once, you know? Well, with her words. And Martha. Lovely, Martha. But... oh, back to Ms. Rowling. She's what she herself would call a- a seer. She didn't have enough magic to go to the school, didn't have enough magic to be picked up by a register, and so she went unnoticed, but that spark she had, that tiny, tiny, tiny spark- it was enough- enough to dream. Enough to write about."
He ran his fingers over the spine of one of her books, a smile creeping across his face.
"Of course, she took artistic liberties- the books are not completely accurate, but they were never meant to be a historical record- she didn't know that what she was writing about was real. That's what makes it so fantastic! By the time the magical world got a hold of what was going on, it was too late. Billions of books had been published, and you'd be hard pressed to find someone on earth who didn't know of them. And then when other civilisations made contact with Earth, the story continued across time and space. Far too big for even the magical community to put a lid on, but in the end they didn't have to- her books made it even easier for Witches and Wizards to walk unnoticed in the world."
"How does that even work?"
"Never seen someone dressed not quite right? Never seen something that you just couldn't explain?" At Amy's look of consternation, the Doctor grinned. "Try as they might, a lot of Wizards can't quite understand fashion, not like you and me-" he ignored her pointed look at his bowtie- bowties were cool- and carried on. "-her books made the extraordinary a lot more ordinary, made people accept a lot more than they usually would because of the need to hold onto that spark, and the magical world let it go. They had no choice, but it made no difference. No more problems for Ms. Rowling there!"
"Well if that's the case, why are we going after the Time Turners, then?" Rory cut in. "They were all destroyed anyway, weren't they? In the books, I mean."
"As I said- the books are not historically accurate. So I'll have to deal with the Time Turners myself, I'm afraid." The TARDIS shuddered. "1996. And we're here!"
† † †
"I can't believe we're actually going to meet Harry Potter!" At Rory's slow nod, her stare grew in intensity. "This is exciting. Why aren't you more excited about this?"
Rory shrugged. "When it comes to the Doctor, life's a lot less surprising."
Amy waved a hand in front of her husband's face. "Harry Potter, Rory."
He reached for her hand and brought it down to her side. "I know." A smile bloomed upon his face. "It is cool. Just a little bit."
"That's the spirit." Amy grabbed her coat and turned to the door, dragging Rory along behind her. "Come on, Doctor, what are you waiting for? Let's go!"
"Ah, yes, about that..." He clapped, but the peppiness of his voice and the tautness of his body language were polar opposites. The man was looking anywhere but at them, and Amy felt apprehension draw in her gut.
"You can't come." There, he had said it. And now to await the explosion. Those who called him the 'oncoming storm' obviously hadn't met his mother in law.
"What do you-"
"You can't interfere here, it's a fixed point! I'm just here for the Time Twisters, and you've read the books, you know how dangerous it is out there right now. I can't put you in the middle of all that, and you can't change fixed points." When Amy looked set to continue arguing, the Doctor shook his head. "That was different. You know it was." A hand passed through his hair. "You need to stay in the TARDIS, I'll only be gone a few moments."
"You tell us about all this and you're making us stay here? ...You brought us here in the middle of the raid at the ministry? What were you thinking, Doctor?"
"This particular moment is the only time the Department of Mysteries is empty, thanks to some string pulling by Mr. Tom Riddle. So this is when it'll have to be. Stay here, Ponds, I'll need someone to open the door for me when I get back." The grim gleam in his eyes was enough to let them know he wasn't joking.
Still, if looks could kill, the Doctor would have used up all of his regenerations with the one glare Amy was trying to incinerate him with.
"Don't give me that look; it's for your own safety."
"And what of yours?"
"I'll be fine, Pond. I always am. Besides, I've got this!" He shielded the red fez he'd just procured from a cupboard from the heat of her stare. Just because he was immune from her fury, didn't mean it was. River had to have inherited her hat-destroying tendencies from somewhere...
He rather liked his fez, it would pain him if it were destroyed like the last one.
"Didn't River blow that thing to smithereens?"
"I'm the Doctor, Amy," he huffed, "I always have a spare." He plopped the fez on his head, walking to the door. "Did you know that the fez is considered a sign of peace across sixteen galaxies?"
"Not on earth, it isn't." Amy strode forward to join him and the Doctor held an arm out. There was a frown on his face, and Amy was struck by how out of place it seemed.
"Don't make me lock you two in. I mean it this time."
She stopped short.
"Stay here. You can watch what's going on on those-" he pointed at a set of screens above the main controls. "But you stay in here."
The door to the TARDIS shut with a click.
† † †
"We're going after him, aren't we?"
"Do you even have to ask? Honestly, Rory."
† † †
Doors, doors, doors, doors. Twelve of them, to be precise. Of course, two of those doors differed from the others in the room, marked by a fiery "X"; the Doctor counted a grand total of two of those. Closing the door to the TARDIS with a snap, what little light the interior had been projecting was locked back inside, and the Doctor was thrown into an eerie inky smog, the glossy black of the floor almost seeming to ripple under the light of the blue flames upheld in torch brackets between each exit. A heavy silence fell.
"Right then. Time Twisters." The TARDIS hadn't given him an exact location; just as it had always done, it had taken him where he needed to be. He'd have to find the magical community's stash himself. "Best start with the doors that have already been marked. That was I won't muddle through them twice."
The first door opened to what looked like an old courtroom, stone benches slowly descending from the door, lowering into a deep pit. There was an arch raised on the platform in the middle, an arch that looked older than he was, the tattered back veil fluttering despite the lack of fresh air being pumped into the room. Ineligible whispers caressed his ears as his eyes locked onto it, an the Doctor's head canted to the side as he felt the magic begin to reel him in like a fish on a hook. The was someone behind the veil- someone that he knew very dearly. He could feel it.
He dropped onto a lower bench. And then lower again. Yes, someone was behind the veil, despite him being able to see clear though it. They were calling to him, urging him to come through...
The door slammed, breaking the Doctor from his reverie. His feet felt heavy, and the Doctor mentally shook himself free. It took conscious effort to keep himself from shuffling increasingly forward, and he slowly backed out of the space. This was not what he was looking for, not yet.
The Department of Mysteries. He really should have noted the plural of 'mystery' when it came to this magical department's name. There was more than one mystery at work here, more than this community should possibly be dabbling with.
His back hit the closed door, and his fingers scrabbled to the handless edge as he pried it open. Sending one last cursory look at the archway, he eased the door shut. It had been his intention to make his way to the next door, the fiery 'x' marking it out proudly from the rest. As soon as the door clicked shut, however, the room seemed to tilt, sending the doors whirring in a fast spin. The flaming signs on the two doors were a bright neon line against the gloom of the rest of the room, so vivid that there were glowing strips splayed against his lids when he closed them. The room stopped spinning, and the doctor frowned, as his two glowing doors were in a completely different positions than they had been mere seconds before. His lips pursed.
"See, this is what happens when I try to be logical. Well then." Completely ignoring the marked doors, the Doctor picked a door at random, and pushed.
† † †
The door to the TARDIS clicked shut behind them, and Rory and Amy's world was illuminated a gloomy blue. There were a lot of doors.
"We're in the Department of Mysteries!"
"Yes, I can s- well I can't see that, really, because it's so dark, but I-"
"I understand Rory."
It was dark.
"Still think this is a good idea?"
"Yep." Amy strode forward. "Can't be that hard to find him. Follow me." Reaching for the handle of the first door she came to, she pushed, expecting it to open. It didn't, and she drew short, Rory bumping into her a second later.
"Sorry." He stepped back. "...Still think this is a great idea?"
And that was when all hell broke loose.
† † †
It was a muffled bellow, but in the silence of the time room, it was a noise that rang like a bell.
The Doctor rushed to put the last of the time contraptions into the wheeled trolley he'd procured. Finding that had been hard enough. He gave a weary glance at the final item. A great big bell-jar in which a jewel of an egg was hatching and unhatching, forwards and backwards in time itself. It looked heavy, and he feared his time in the room was slowly coming to an end. He still had not a clue on how to move the bell-jar. Not when trying to lift it had caused his regeneration energy to swirl fiercely as his arms had slipped right through the 'glass'. That was not something he'd want to experience again. He frowned, considering the giant jar once again.
That was when Amy and Rory decided to burst into the room. The Doctor gaped.
"Ponds! I thought I told you-" he stopped. "No, nevermind. I should definitely know better by now. Don't look at me like that, Amelia. Help me shift this, quick! Don't touch the glass!"
They frowned at his odd request, but complied all the same. They struggled. It didn't move. And then-
"Doctor. There's wheels on the bottom of this."
The Doctor looked down at the stand. Lo and behold... "...I knew that."
A door on the other end of the room bust open, and a number of teenaged witches and wizards trooped in in a flurry.
"Celloportus!" gasped the witch with bushy hair. The door they'd come through sealed with an odd sort of squelch. They were whispering harshly between themselves.
"I don't think they've seen us yet, Doctor," Rory mumbled. "We should..."
And then they turned around.
The Doctor and his companions stilled as a number of wands were thrust in their direction. And then-
"Oh my God, it's Harry Potter." – Amy.
"Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, and Luna! Wonderful to meet you- I'm the Doctor and this is Amy and Rory. They're charmed, I'm sure. Don't mind us, we'll be just on our way- kinda in a hurry, you see!" the Doctor beamed, holding his hands up disarmingly.
Harry Potter (he even had the scar!), stormed forward, wand still held firmly but a bewildered expression now beginning to form on his face. "Who- are you Death Eaters?"
"You could stand to sound a little more convinced of that, Doctor," Amy muttered.
"Harry, mate," the redhead- Ron- said, stepping forward, voice low. "I don't think... a Death Eater would be caught dressed like that on a raid. Just look at what they're wearing." His nose wrinkled. "Even I know no-one wears bowties anymore."
Amy snickered as the Doctor drew himself up to full height. "Now listen here-"
The other teenagers were moving forward now- there were six of them, each as distinguished as Amy had remembered reading them. Dumbledore's Army! Amy's inner child squealed.
"Harry, I don't think they're Death Eaters... Are you Ministry workers? Listen, please," Hermione said quickly, "we know we shouldn't be here- but there's Death Eaters here- in that room behind us- we need your help. Can you contact anyone? Do you know the way out? Please!"
The Doctor mentally scrambled for a plausible excuse for their presence. He floundered for a moment. And then took another moment just because he could.
"I don't think they work with the Ministry, Hermione," said Luna, tilting her head.
"Your friend would be right, there," the Doctor admitted, lowering his hands. And then looking pained, he sighed. "We don't work here, and we really can't help you. I'm sorry."
"But then, who...?" Hermione trailed off as she took in their attire, guilty faces, and the trolley laden with Time Turners. "Are you stealing from the Ministry of Magic?" she suddenly burst out, looking appalled. Her wand was raised again.
"Now, now, there's a perfectly good expla-"
"Oh, come on!" Amy suddenly cut in. She pointed at Harry, who still clutched a prophecy tightly in his hand. "We're all stealing from the Ministry of Magic!"
"Amy!" Rory cried out, pulling his wife back. "They have wands!"
Harry flushed. "That's different." He scrutinised them for a moment, brows drawing close in confusion. "Why aren't you pulling out your wands?"
"I think they're muggles, Harry," Luna piped in, calm as could be.
The Doctor grinned. "Hi, there."
"Check that-! Alohomora!" came a muffled voice from behind the recently sealed door, and the teenagers paled.
"Move!" Harry hissed, and as one, they dived under the desks lining one half of the room. Rory pulled Amy and the Doctor behind the trolley.
The Death Eaters were scouting the room now, steadily growing closer with each step. "Fiddlesticks," the Doctor said again. Rory clamped his hand over the Time Lord's mouth. Too late.
"Behind that trolley, I heard something!"
"EXPELLIARMUS!" a cacophony of teenaged voices suddenly cried out- it seemed that Harry and his friends had deigned not to let the Death Eaters find the Doctor or his 'muggle' companions, pointing themselves out as targets instead, and the Doctor felt sadness pull at his heartstrings when he realised that he still wouldn't be able to help them.
The Death Eaters were moving towards the desks, and the air was thick with spells flying left and right. By all accounts, the Doctor could have left right then, taking his trolleys with him, but... Maybe he'd help them a little. Just not in the conventional way. He pulled out his screwdriver, and pointed it at the glass covering the (recently emptied) display cabinets lining the walls.
The glass exploded, causing three of the men to cry out as they were showered in shallow cuts and a second later the teenagers were throwing a medley of spells once again.
"Doctor, you said no interfering! I really think we need to go-"
"Right you are, Rory. Come along, Ponds! Push!"
The three made a dash for the door, shoulders hunched against the goods in hand as the trolleys glided in front of them. Amy and Rory took the lead, the trolley filled with time-turners rattling over the now glass-covered ground, and were out the door. The Doctor was out a second later, only to stumble to a stop as the Ponds were waiting outside.
"Yes, yes, it's all well and good stopping her for a chat," the Doctor said, shooing them along, "but we really should still be running!" They took off once again. They were almost at the TARDIS, its blue doors just in sight-
A Death Eater was flung out of the door they'd just come through, and Rory pulled his trolley back just fast enough to stop it being overturned. He let out a breath in relief. That didn't half the troop of teenagers pelting out of the door as fast as they could. In the darkness, Neville stumbled, tripping over the Doctor's feet and hitting Rory's trolley at full force. It teetered before coming back to halt, and there was a tinkle of broken glass as a few of the artefacts cracked.
The Doctor stared in horror.
"S-Sorry." Neville coughed, getting to his feet. "But if you don't have wands- if you're really muggles, then you need to run- quickly, they're coming! Luna! Ginny!" His wand was back in hand as he turned to jog back to the room in search of their other friends.
"My Time Twisters..."
"Doctor!" Amy roared, as more curses were flung out of the door and they were forced to dive to the side. "You've still got that big thing, now-"
Another Death Eater was blasted through the door and the Doctor drew his stand back in defiance. The cloaked man soared overhead, narrowly missing the bell jar, and the Doctor crowed. "Ha!"
Then he got up. His wand waved wildly between the three of them, finally settling on Amy.
"If it isn't the little bloodtraitor!" He spat.
Amy glanced back, confused. What...? She didn't miss the fact that she had been insulted, however. "At least I'm not a wearing a dress!"
"Amy!" Rory tacked the robed man across the room.
He flew head-first into the bell-jar, which skidded across the floor in the direction of the TARDIS. The glass didn't explode- no, it wasn't really 'glass' to begin with, but the man moaned, his head shrinking until he was not really a man at all, but a half-figure, with the body of the man he once had been, and a baby's head attached at his shoulders.
"What on earth?"
The Doctor stared.
The baby- it's head, at least, was crying as it expanded back into the form it had been moment before, teeth falling out, growing again, and hair lengthening and thinning. He started shrinking once again.
Hermione skidded out of the still open door. "Ron, Harry! Come o-oof!" She'd tripped over the fallen Death Eater's body. "What...?" She struggled to her feet, wand clutched tightly in hand, and pointed at the still prone body. And then she saw the head. Her eyes widened. "...Time?"
The Doctor took in the form of the time-addled man in the bell jar. Oh, that Death Eater. He didn't approve of what they did one whit, but to leave the man like that... He raised his sonic screwdriver to the jewel-like egg inside, which had remained untouched so far. "Sorry."
The screwdriver screeched, and the egg exploded. The man's transformation stopped midway as sand pulsed out in every direction, his face stuck as that of a five or six year old child. He was crying.
Ron, Luna, Ginny, Neville and Harry bolted out of the Time Room.
Reunited with Hermione, they ignored the disabled Death Eater and took off into another room. "What are you still doing here, 'Doctor'!? Get away from that box and look for an exit! MOVE!"
"Doctor, we really have to go." Rory called, pulling Amy back towards the TARDIS.
"Coming... Ponds." Giving one last regretful look at ruined bell-jar, the Doctor turned on his heel, running full pelt towards his ship. Amy and Rory, their trolley in tow, were just ahead of him. And then the sealed door was blown off its hinges with an almighty bang! A woman cackled. It was a foul sound.
"STUPEFY!" Harry and co. were back again, having found that yet another door they'd tried had not led to the exit.
Someone was blasted into the trolley, which was knocked clear from Rory's hands. It landed back on the floor with a resounding crunch, as sand and glass sprayed the dark floor.
Would it simply stop both his hearts, or just one of them? He didn't fancy the chance to find out. The Doctor ducked away from the green light that raced towards him, and it narrowly missed, knocking his fez off instead.
"WOULD YOU BLOODY WELL RUN, YOU PILLOCK!" Harry suddenly roared.
"I'll have you know I resent that!"
Amy and Rory had tumbled into the sanctuary of the TARDIS, and the Doctor leapt in after them, slamming the door shut.
"Not a single time twister!" The Doctor grumbled, struggling to untangle himself from his companions. "And I lost my fez too. Again! 'Pillock', indeed. Oh, what a miserable outing this was." He opened the door just a crack, and peered out. A red jet of light slammed into the panelling just shy of his eyes, and he shut the door again as with a snap.
"We need to leave."
"The Order will be here soon- they'll be fine, Amy. Everything will be fine. Some things need to happen. It didn't turn out quite like I'd hoped, but... I suppose all the Time Twisters are gone now." He pulled a lever, and a whooshing sound filled the air. "There we go, sexy, out of the path of any nasty killing curses!" He grumbled some more, bemoaning his bad luck.
"Ah... about that, Doctor..."
"Which is a shame- they really were brilliant, and I'd have liked to see how they worked, but..."
"We were so close-!"
A single time-turner dangled from a golden thread between Amy's fingers. The Doctor's mouth flopped open.
"Pond! You are brilliant!"
He reached for it, but she pulled it out of his reach. "Ah-ah-ah. You'll take us on our honeymoon?"
The Doctor's face fell. "I- I... Pond!"
She grinned wickedly back at him, waving the time-turner as she danced out of his range. She was still freakishly immune to his sudden pout, which was back in full force. Drat.
"Fine, fine." The Doctor shook his head in defeat. "You win this time. I will be avenged, Amelia! ...Where were you thinking?"
"I've always wanted to go to New York. What do you think, Rory?"
"Sounds good to me."
"I can offer you the whole of time and space and you choose New York? It's not even hot! ...Humans."
† † †