Well, you asked for it, so here it is! :)

Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord Of The Rings.

It was a warm summer day in Minas Tirith. Merry and Pippin were there on a brief visit for Aragorn's 93rd Birthday (which he keeps denying by the way). And, unlike their usual selves, the two hobbits were extremely bored.

"Merry! I'm bored!" whined Pippin.

"There's nothing to do!" whined Merry.

Suddenly, Merry had an idea.

"Hey Pippin?"


"Do you remember that website that Gimli and Legolas got addicted to?"


"Well, we could always try out that website."

Pippin sat bolt upright.

"That is the most brilliant idea in the history of ideas!" squealed Pippin.

"Really?" asked Merry.

"Well, the most brilliant idea since microwavable burritos, but still an awesome idea!" Pippin replied.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!"

In their excitement, they accidentally bumped into her royal naggyness, Queen Arwen.

"What are you two up to?" she asked suspiciously.

"Um, we're bored, so we're going on that website Gimli and Legolas got addicted to." replied Merry.

Arwen scoffed. "THAT stupid website? My goodness you must be bored."

She then shook her head and continued on her way.

The two hobbits bolted over to Gimli's house. Using their awesome 'ninja' skills, they somersaulted through the cat-flap, cartwheeled past the vicious tigers (which are what the cat flap is for), and ran into the computer room. Pippin immediately hopped onto a wheely-chair and spun around until he barfed.

"Ewww! Pippin!" said Merry.

Pippin looked up, his face a pale green. "Why is the world spinning so fast? Make it stop."

Merry turned to his computer and opened Internet Explorer.

"Hey, Pippin! Do you remember what the website was called again?"

Pippin, completely recovered from his wheely-chair incident, was busy stuffing giant marshmallows into his mouth.

"Wah wa tat Mewy?" asked Pippin.

Merry sighed and checked the computer's history.

"Aha! Fan-Fiction!"

Merry clicked the button and the website popped up. Pippin stared at it, uninterested.

"Why is there only two colours? It looks boring!" complained Pippin.

"Not everything can be as colourful as the credits before the Monty Python and the Holy Grail movie, Pippin." replied Merry.

Pippin giggled. "Llamas!"

Merry clicked the 'Books' section in the browsing category and scrolled through the results.

"Wanna read any Fan-Fiction for some book called 'Lord of the Rings'?" Merry asked.

Pippin shrugged. "Sure. After this can we have a wheely-chair race?"

Merry didn't respond. His jaw was dropped open as he stared at the screen in front of him.

Pippin skipped over. "What's up?" He read the results on the screen.

"Hey! That's us!" he exclaimed.

Suddenly, the entire fabric of the universe split apart. Nah, I'm just kidding.

Merry slowly nodded.

Pippin scrolled down the page and stopped at a certain story.

"Er, Merry? This one is by someone called 'TheDarkLordSauron' about how he's planning on kicking Frodo's butt the next time he forges another magical piece of jewelry." said Pippin.

Since Merry was still in shock, Pippin decided to sing 'I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas' while dancing the Irish Jig. Merry finally got back to his senses and clicked the story.

Pippin stopped dancing, stole the mouse from Merry and typed out a review on Sauron's story.

"Up...Your...Kilt!" laughed Pippin as he typed. Before Merry could stop him, he pressed the 'Post Review' button.

"Pippin!" shouted Merry, before bursting out laughing.

Merry scrolled through some more results while Pippin went back to spinning around in his chair.

"Hey Pippin! You have GOT to see this!" said Merry.

Pippin hopped over and looked at the screen.

"Is that...Arwen?" he asked.

"Yep." said Merry.

"Wow! She's on Fan Fiction?! But I thought she said it was stupid?"

"And look! She's even written a couple stories! About...Aragorn."

Merry and Pippin gave each other an evil grin before clicking the 'print' button.

"We are so going to get chucked into the fires of Mount Doom for this." chuckled Merry.

Aragorn's Birthday Party

"Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Aragorn! Happy Birthday to you!" sang the characters. Merry and Pippin wheeled out a giant cake that was nearly overflowing with candles.

"Wow, that's a lot of candles." said Aragorn, staring in disbelief at the cake.

"We wanted to get your age just right!" said Pippin happily.

"I don't believe I'm 2564." said Aragorn.

Pippin shrugged, "Give or take a couple centuries."

Frodo, who had been staring nervously at the flames of the candles, whipped out a fire extinguisher and hosed down the cake, covering it and Aragorn in white foam.

"My cake." said Aragorn sadly.

"Sorry King Aragorn sir!" apologized Sam. "Ever since his arrival at Mount Doom, Mr. Frodo has had an extreme fear of fire."

"Okay then..." said Aragorn akwardly.

"Here ya go, buddy!" said Gimli, handing a small present to Aragorn.

Aragorn ripped open the box like a deranged squirrel and squealed like a girl when he saw what he got.

"Yes! Portal 2! Thank you Gimli!" he yelled excitedly.

"Aragorn!" said Arwen sternly, "You're supposed to open the card before the present!"

"Take a chill pill, Arwy." said Aragorn

"Happy Birthday Aragorn!" said Merry and Pippin, handing him a yellow box.

"Hey, thanks guys!" said Aragorn. He set the box on his lap and began tearing off the wrapping paper as Merry and Pippin tried to conceal their giggles.

Aragorn held up the wad of papers.

"Is this some kind of joke?" he asked.

"Read them sir!" said Merry.

Aragorn opened the papers and started reading. Merry and Pippin finally cracked and erupted in one of the longest laughing fits in the history of Middle Earth.

"What the hell? This is a story about yesterday morning! 'Aragorn put jam on his toast BEFORE the butter. Arwen glared at him and gave him a whole new piece of toast for him to start over.' What kind of story IS this?"

Merry and Pippin to laugh while Arwen's face was a mix of embarrassment and fury.

"Arwen...has...a...Fan Fiction...account!" Pippin gasped between giggles.

Everyone in the room burst out laughing, even Elrond. Arwen stomped over to Merry and Pippin, grabbed them by the ears and chucked them off of Minas Tirith, only for them to be saved by one of Gandalf's flying eagles. She stormed back into the throne room.

"Now, what were you saying about my story?" Arwen asked in mock sweetness.

"Uh, it was very well written, honey." replied Aragorn nervously.

"That's what I thought you said."

Elrond leaned over to Aragorn.

"Sucks to be you."

Arwen held up a slice of foamy cake. "Now, who wants cake? Or do I have to make Aragorn eat it all?"

Let's just say that King Aragorn had some very bad digestion problems for the rest of the day.


Gimli returned home at a quarter to nine and walked straight into his computer room. Besides some marshmallows and a pile of barf on the floor, the hobbits didn't do as much damage as he thought they did. He turned on his computer and clicked his account on the Fan-Fiction home page.

"Hey! Why do I have so many flames from some guy called 'TheDarkLordSauron'?"